| Craving I want to kill myself but i don't want to take the time. I have hurt too many people with my lies, for once I should be punished. I would slice my wrists but one quick flick won't do it. it is to messy but once I see that red. I would feel better. That red is so beautiful as it spills out of my wrist and falls to the floor like a rain droop. There I did it but I feel no pain. I am numb blocked from the world. Splash another drop just like the tears rolling down my cheeks and falling on my lips, my red lips. Red from the blood. I can taste the salty tears and the sweet blood. The blood that gives me life and sorrow. I fall to the floor only to fall into a slumber. At first only black and then flames. I see the devil himself he said if I hurt you again I shall be punished. As if I haven't been punished enough. Finally I wake to flashing lights. Some strange man in white with blood all over him. And you screaming frantically. Suddenly I don't know who I am, but I don't care. God's giving me another chance. I will probably screw this one and only chance up just like the others. Who do I want to be? I can be anyone. But I want to be me, even though I don't know who that is. I feel like a ghost wandering around aimlessly. I feel empty at night I see only red and occasionly I'will see you in flames. But I don't know who you are. You say I am getting better but I feel worse. I don't know who I am. I could be someoneimportant. Nope not me just little me. I lick my lips and have a craving for that blood that blood that once filled my mouth. It was sweet and good. Yes I should have died that was my intent but God said no. Nothing I ever do works out. Everything I do I screw up. But no need to worry, I don't remember anything but the sweet taste of blood. I continue walking around it seems like I am floating. I will just do what feels right till you don't give a damn and lock me away in some institute. And there I will die in those calming walls that drive me insane. The colors on the white walls are bright and make me blind. At night I am awake and alert and during the day I hide from that sun that craves to eat me it was you who put me here damn you. If only you let me drink the lushes drops of blood. |