POETRY
welcome to the poetry page. i hope my words give some insight.
while the moon shines
11/14/2005
you rest your head on my shoulder
i put my arm �cross your back
you�re cold and i hold you closer
you�re warm and i�ve got you trapped
and the moon shines on through the night
you close your eyes
you nuzzle in
the blankets, my body are your bed
i bring you in even more
the moon shines on
and the stars twinkle by
your breathing is soft
you�re so warm
you�re asleep in my arms
i whisper away
to the nethers of life
and the moon shines on through the night
just want to be... 10/25/2005
bitch.
i never labelled you.
hah.
you wanted to be like crissy and listen to tool
you said i was your friend but you played me the fool
i don�t care.
i learned a lesson from doing nothing wrong.
and now that lesson makes me tip toe along.
no more bouncing along on care free feet.
you were not the kindest person i ever did meet.
i mistook your facade for friendship true.
but you turned it around so that i screwed you.
teaching by your rules doesn�t work
the heart is a terrible thing to break
as the mind is a terrible thing to waste.
my lessons have to be relearned
and my guilt has to be unearthed
i recanted my crimes while my face still burned
but the charges were false and turfed
i just wanted to be like claire and listen to DK...
what a fucking coincidence. now i�m happy. i
don�t care. i�ll say hello, but
never
goodbye
and i care more than you could possibly imagine
you
say �friend� and get the fuck out.
i say �friend� and enter.
i�m a gom jabbar
you weren�t human
they are.
but i am forever sorry.
i guess some people don�t like feeling loved.
i just want to be like kristen and listen to tool.
big heart. 09/26/2005
i can feel it in my chest
big heart beating
throbbing.
pounding. my
chest can feel
i can feel it, i can hear it
the world shuts up, just for a moment
i want to hear it.
i�m safe inside myself if i cover my ears.
i turn off the lights.
put your wrists against your ears. close your eyes.
tick tock, lub dub, tick tock, lub dub, tick tock, lub dub, tick tock, lub dub
get excited. you hear the blood your
heart.
beating.
tick tock
lub dub.....
tick
tock
lub
dub
.
.
.
what heart do you have.
?
i think i might have a big one.
so i�m told.
decide it for yourself.
what about you
big or small or normal. hopefully big. big hearts are warm.
close your eyes. let your heart do the talking.
hate me 05/26/2004
I am nothing
Worthless
THAT FUCKING I SHOULD NOT BE
CAPITALIZED
fuck this
i wish i were dead
i�m sick
i�m sick
i�m sick sick sick sick sick sick
motherfucking tired...tired tired
tired...motherfucking tired
my god...he doesn�t exist
motherfucking worthless
i am shit
i am shit
i am shit
SHE IS RIGHT.
SHE IS
ALWAYS RIGHT.
NEVER FORGET THAT....NEVER FUCKING FORGET
MOTHERFUCKING SHITHEAD i AM.
i AM WORTHLESS.
WANNA CRY LITTLE FUCKING SHIT?
WANNA CRY?
DON�T HAVE SOMEBODY TO LOVE YOU
LITTLE FUCKING SHIT?
NOBODY CARES?
i deserve all the pain i get
and much much more
infinity
fucking silly son of a bitch
me
FUCKING ASSHOLE
me
SHE IS RIGHT
WANNA CRY LITTLE BOY?
WANNA BE HELD LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT?
LITTLE BOY?
YOU GO AND CRY AND FEEL ALL THAT
FUCKING PAIN
SO IT CAN TORTURE YOU FOREVER
AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER
BECAUSE EVERYBODY HAS
REASON TO HATE ME
why won�t she just do it
WHY WON�T SHE JUST HATE ME
why won�t she just THROW ME THE
FUCK AWAY
before i cave in my skull with my
own fist
before i cut too deep to escape
before i commit fucking suicide
you�ll get no metaphors here, my
dear
for this is a serious reality
one which i have not realized
for far too long
my lofty cloud was blown away
never had it, can�t get it back,
especially not today
goodbye forever
and i am forever shit
SHE IS RIGHT
SHE IS EVERYTHING
SHE IS PERFECT
DAMN YOU FOR HAVING WRONGED HER
DAMN YOU STUPID, FOOLISH BOY
now go hit yourself some
more...stab yourself, get this done with before it�s too late
my punishment awaits
05/24/2004
so
close
yet
so far
standing
in havana
without
a cigar
i
cannot accept it
i
wish i could
looking
out under
my
emotional hood
i
just want to talk to her
just
like before
but
i don�t think she�ll let me
not
anymore
i
love her so much
at
least i think that
but
i�ve been so stupid
wanna
be beaten with a bat
it
feels so petty
wanting
all this
just
to be held
i
can�t catch that fish
nobody
cares
why
should they
i
don�t matter
i�m
made to pay
the
darkness is an alternative
again
05/24/2004
again
and again
the
deep red surfaces
again
and again
i
want it to submerge
again
and again
i
wish i could die
again
and again
i
wish i could cry
again
and again
i
question my love
again
and again
i
know i am shit
again
and again
i
tell those i love
again
and again
i
lose them
again
and again
i
promise to stop
again
and again
i
mean it
again
and again
i
really sober up
again
and again
it
happens
again
amikeco 05/20/2004
i
want to stop
get
me out of here
i
want out
let
me out
i
have to escape
please
i
beg you
please...*sob*
*sob*
*sob*...please
it
falters
friendship,
it
buckles now
the
rumbling and screeching is heard in tears
the
bright red screams have stopped inside
i
half-wish they would return
i
half-wish i could return
to
ignorance
to
truth of loneliness
now
i know it�s all shit
it�s
all so serious
it
all hurts,
when
i let it
when
i�m encouraged to cry
it
hurts even more
i�ve
got to stop it
i�ve
got to be alone again
i�ve
got to be rid of
the
thoughts
the
corruption
the
good
the
evil
everything
it
must go
because
they�re all lies
the
life of a cutter is the life of a lie
the
life of a cutter is the life of a lie
remember
that forever
it
will save you if you try
you
do not want to live a lie
nobody
does
nor
do i
i
pushed the limits of everything i know
just
to know more
i
killed what i loved because of a curious mind
i�ve
gotten sick and tired of trying to be kind
i�ve
backfired it all
i�ve
wanted to fall
jump
off a ledge
cut
under a hedge
i
got help
but
they haven�t answered
i
want understanding
i
want friendship and love
they
are things i used to have
i
thought so then
but
it felt like it sometimes
now
i�m dead
walking
corpse
emotional
grenade
pin-popping�s
worse
broken
jade
a
fucking hug
within
amikeco, no?
