How Guys can Score Points (or lose them) from their Ladies
Simple Duties
--You go out to buy her flowers: +10
--But return with beer: -5
--You check out a suspicious noise at night: 0
--You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing: 0
--You check out a suspicious noise and it's something: +5
--You pummel it with a six iron: +10
--It's her father: -10
Social Engagements
--You stay by her side the entire party: 0
--You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
drinking buddy: -2
--Named Tiffany: -4
--Tiffany is a dancer: -6
--Tiffany has implants: -8
Saturday Afternoons
--You visit her parents: +1
--You visit her parents and actually make conversation: +3
--You visit her parents and stare at the television: -3
--And the television is off: -6
--You spend the afternoon watching football in your
underwear: -6
--And you don't even like football: -10
--And it's not really your underwear: -15
Her Birthday
--You take her out to dinner: 0
--You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar: +1
--Okay, it is a sports bar: -2
--And it's all-you-can-eat night: -3
--It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the
colors of your favorite team: -10
--You give her a gift: 0
--You give her a gift, and it's a small appliance: -10
--You give her a gift, and it's not a small appliance: +1
--You give her a gift, and it isn't chocolate: +2
--You give her a gift that you'll be paying off for months: +30
--You wait til the last minute and buy her a gift that day: -10
--With her credit card: -30
--And whatever you bought is two sizes too big: -40
Thoughtfulness
--You forget to pick her up at the bus station: -25
--At 2 in the morning : -35
--And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast: -50
A Night Out with Your Pals
--You have a few beers: -9 (For every beer after three, -2 again)
--And miss curfew by an hour: -12
--You get home at 3 a.m.: -20
--You get home at 3 a.m. smelling of booze and cheap cigars: -30
--And not wearing any pants: -40
--Is that a tattoo? -200
A Night Out, Just The Two of You
--You go see a comic: +2
--He's crude and sexist: -2
--You laugh: -5
--You laugh too much: -10
--She's not laughing: -15
--You laugh harder: -25
Driving
--You lose the directions on a trip: -4
--You lose the directions and end up getting lost: -10
--You end up getting lost in a bad part of town: -15
--You get lost in a bad part of town & meet the locals up close &
personal: -25
--She finds out the hard way that you lied about having a black belt:-60
Communication
--When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks
like a concerned expression: 0
--When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes: +5
--You listen for more than 30 minutes, without looking at the television or
picking up a newspaper: +10
--She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep: -10
