Back to My Fics...

Here's to Good-Bye


Author: FireAngel8723
Pairing: HP/LM
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: See this page.
Author's Notes: This was the first HP/LM I'd ever written. The song is "Here's to the Night" by Eve 6. When I began writing this, I didn't intend for it to be so...smutty. I like it, though. It's pretty angsty/sad, though.


So denied
So I lied.
Are you the now or never kind?
In a day and a day, love,
I�m gonna be gone for good again.
Are you willing to be had?
Are you cool with just tonight?
Here�s a toast to all those who hear me all too well�


Silence reigned in Room 22 of a tiny inn in Muggle London. The room�s lone occupant was perched on the edge of the double bed, back straight with tension. Twenty-four year old Harry Potter ran a shaky hand through his messy black hair and sighed. When a knock sounded at the door, Harry was on his feet with his wand aimed before the doorknob turned. He only relaxed when he recognized the white-blond hair of his boyfriend.

�My boyfriend�is that what he is?� Harry thought bitterly as he watched the graceful blond erect strong locking and silencing charms on the door. �My obsession, more like. My weakness as well.�

The blond finally finished his spell-casting and turned to Harry. �One more night, Harry,� Lucius said, a look of tightly controlled desperation on his usually unreadable face.

After a long moment of staring into anguished ice-blue eyes, Harry lowered his head. �I know,� he whispered, his voice choked with sadness.


Here�s to the nights we felt alive.
Here�s to the tears you knew you�d cry.
Here�s to good-bye,
Tomorrow�s gonna come too soon.


Lucius strode over to Harry and lifted his chin with a finger. �We�ll just have to make this last night a night to remember,� he said softly.

�God, Lucius! I don�t want this to end. I don�t want to leave you!� Harry cried, standing suddenly and pacing the length of the room. Lucius quickly stopped him and pulled him into a tight embrace. �This isn�t fair,� Harry whispered into his lover�s shoulder. �I don�t want to be everyone�s bloody savior. Why can�t someone else go confront Voldemort tomorrow? I just want to stay with you.�

�You know that�s impossible, love,� Lucius said, rubbing soothing circles on Harry�s back. After a bitter smile, Lucius placed a gentle kiss on the top of the younger man�s head. �Despite his appearance as a senile old fool, Dumbledore knows what he�s doing. He realizes you�re the only one powerful enough to even attempt to kill the Dark Lord. You�ve trained too hard and too long with Severus and I to give up now.� As he pulled away to capture Harry�s mouth in a devouring kiss, Lucius couldn�t stop a single tear from rolling down his cheek.


Put your name on the line
Along with place and time.
Wanna stay, not to go,
I wanna ditch the logical.
Here�s a toast to all those who hear me all too well�


Lucius explored Harry�s mouth slowly and thoroughly as he undid the buttons on Harry�s shirt. As Lucius� fingers danced across Harry�s chest and stomach, Harry moaned softly and clung to Lucius as if he couldn�t get close enough to the older Wizard. When they broke the kiss, Lucius lifted his wand and, with a muttered charm, stripped both Harry and himself completely naked. He took Harry�s hand and led him to the bed, where Harry laid flat on his back, looking, to Lucius, like a private feast just waiting to be devoured. Climbing up onto the bed and straddling Harry�s hips, Lucius began showering Harry with kisses: first his forehead, then each eyelid and each cheek, then his chin, and finally on his waiting mouth.

When Harry reached up to run his hands over Lucius� defined chest, Lucius captured his wrists and gently pressed them into the pillow above Harry�s head. �Tonight is your night. I want you to remember me like this, not like I�m going to be tomorrow on the battlefield,� Lucius explained, trailing kisses along Harry�s collarbone.

Confusion shone brightly in Harry�s emerald green eyes. �You�re talking like after tomorrow, I�ll never see you again. You�re working with the Order�the Ministry will pardon you because you�re a spy for the Light, and then we can be together,� he said quietly.

Lucius closed his eyes for a moment, as if he was in pain. �That�s assuming I live. Remember, it will take too much energy to keep my mind shielded and try to fight at the same time. The Dark Lord will discover my defection�if he doesn�t kill me, I suspect the remaining loyal Death Eaters will,� he replied softly.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Harry let out a choked sob as Lucius placed a loving kiss on his lips before releasing his wrists and moving his mouth down to tease a nipple with his tongue and teeth. Lucius� warm tongue trailed across Harry�s hairless, muscled chest to the other nipple and lavished attention on it until it, too, pebbled. As he moved lower, Lucius placed open-mouthed kisses down Harry�s stomach. He stopped to swirl his tongue in and around Harry�s belly button, inciting breathy little moans to erupt from his younger lover.

�I love you, Lucius,� came an almost inaudible whisper as Lucius reverently kissed the insides of Harry�s thighs.

Startled, Lucius paused in his ministrations to stare up into Harry�s glistening green eyes. �Oh, Harry�you shouldn�t,� he managed to force out past the lump in his throat.

�Just because I shouldn�t doesn�t mean I don�t,� Harry replied, letting a few fat tears escape his eyes and roll down his cheeks.


Here�s to the nights we felt alive.
Here�s to the tears you knew you�d cry.
Here�s to good-bye,
Tomorrow�s gonna come too soon.


�Oh, Harry,� Lucius whispered as he moved back up Harry�s body and gently kissed the tears away. �I love you as well, but�our feelings don�t and can�t change what�s going to happen tomorrow.�

�I know. I thought you should know how I feel, just in case I�don�t see you after tomorrow,� Harry replied, smiling sadly.

For a long time, the two men simply stared into each other�s eyes, both lost in the memories of previous clandestine meetings in other tiny Muggle inns. Lucius was the first to move, breaking the heavy silence that had settled between them with a soft sigh as he bent his head to place a kiss on Harry�s neck just below his ear before moving back downward.

�No more talking now. Let me pleasure you,� Lucius whispered as he settled himself between Harry�s legs and closed a hand around his lover�s weeping erection.

Encouraged by Harry�s gasping moans, Lucius stroked lazily for a few moments before languidly running his tongue over the tip of Harry�s cock, tasting the glistening drops of precome. With no warning, Lucius took Harry�s entire length into his mouth. Mouth open in a silent scream, Harry tried desperately to buck his hips as he felt his blond lover swallow around him. Lucius, however, had other ideas - as he teased Harry by alternately sucking, swallowing, and licking, he held Harry�s hips firmly. When he felt Harry tensing with his impending orgasm, Lucius withdrew until only the head of Harry�s cock was still in his mouth and sucked hard.

With a hoarse cry, Harry came violently, watching through half-closed eyes as Lucius swallowed his come.


All my time is frozen motion.
Can�t I stay an hour or two more?
Don�t let me let you go.
Here�s a toast to all those who hear me all too well�


Lucius gathered Harry into his arms, smiling softly when the younger Wizard snuggled closer and placed a sleepy kiss on his chest. Within minutes, Harry was fast asleep. Lucius ran his hand through Harry�s messy black hair and smiled softly, but his eyes held deep sadness. Watching Harry sleep, Lucius had to fight to keep his tears from falling. �Gods, Harry�I don�t know what I ever did to deserve you, but whatever it was, I�m glad I did it. It�s going to be so hard to say good-bye to you, angel,� Lucius thought. As he waited silently for Harry to awaken, Lucius remembered the day he realized his feelings for the green-eyed ex-Gryffindor had changed drastically�

Lucius was one of the first to arrive at the Order meeting, so he sat against the far wall and simply watched as people came in and found seats. No one in particular caught and held his interest�until a dark haired, tanned, toned man had walked through the door, his eyes downcast and his face obscured by his messy raven locks. Lucius watched with increasing interest as the mysterious man took a seat near the front of the room. Before Lucius could do more than contemplate moving to sit next to the stranger, Dumbledore entered and started the meeting.

�Before we begin the reports and such, I would like to introduce you all to our newest member. He just graduated from Hogwarts two years ago and will make a splendid addition to our little group. Many of you, I�m sure, have met him before. May I introduce Mr. Harry Potter,� Dumbledore said, beaming as Harry � the dark haired mystery man! � stood and nodded to the group.

After an enthusiastic round of applause, a Wizard sitting in the back that Lucius recognized as Preston Byrd, a pompous middle-aged Mediwizard, stood. �Albus, do you think it is wise, letting young Mr. Potter join the Order, when we know Voldemort sometimes plunders the boy�s mind?� he asked.

�Mr. Potter is now able to block those kinds of attacks, Mr. Byrd. It is one of the reasons Harry is only now joining,� Dumbledore explained.

�But he�s still so young yet,� another Wizard called out. �He can�t be ready to witness battle.�

Lucius watched Harry stand and turn to face the crowd with a strange sort of anticipation that intensified when Harry began speaking. �I have seen more and been exposed to more violence in my twenty years than many of you have, combined. I�ve been dealing with Voldemort, facing off against him, nearly every year since I was eleven. I may be young physically, but mentally�well, you can�t go through what I went through without maturing very quickly. I know my limits and what I am and am not ready for. I do not need anyone to try to tell me that,� Harry said in a tone of voice that brooked no arguments�it sent erotic little shivers down Lucius� spine. No one else resisted Harry�s inclusion into the Order.

After the meeting, Lucius found Harry in one of Number 12, Grimmauld Place�s sitting rooms, reading. �Wonderful speech you gave in there, Mr. Potter,� Lucius said as he sat down next to Harry on the couch.

�It�s Harry, and thanks, I suppose. They needed to know that just because I�m young doesn�t mean I�m na�ve,� Harry replied, shutting his book to look at Lucius.

Lucius� breath caught in his throat as he stared into Harry�s entrancing emerald eyes. He felt as if he was drowning in the sea of green. At that moment, Lucius knew that Harry Potter had captured his heart.


Here�s to the nights we felt alive.
Here�s to the tears you knew you�d cry.
Here�s to good-bye,
Tomorrow�s gonna come too soon.


Lucius was brought out of his reverie by Harry shifting against his chest. He looked down at the younger Wizard and was amazed once again by the raw emotion shining in those big green eyes. No words were exchanged as both men reached for the other. Their lips met in a hungry, passionate, desperate kiss. Sensing the anguish in Harry, Lucius surrendered control of the kiss. Harry, it seemed, had just realized it really was, far more likely than not, the last time they would ever be together in any way.

Abruptly, Harry pulled away and stared at Lucius. �Promise me that if we both make it through the battle tomorrow, we�ll be together,� he said quietly.

Stunned by the intensity of the love shining in that gaze, Lucius wrapped his arms possessively around Harry�s slightly smaller body and tried to will away the stinging in his eyes again. �Love, if we both make it tomorrow, I promise I�ll do everything in my power to ensure that we can be together again,� he said softly.

No more words were spoken as the two kissed intensely. Lucius separated himself from Harry�s mouth long enough to grab the lubricant he�d placed on the bedside table, then he quickly pulled Harry into another heated kiss as he prepared him. When Lucius withdrew his fingers, Harry whimpered at the loss and made to turn onto his stomach, but Lucius stopped him. Instead, Lucius draped one of Harry�s legs over his shoulder and watched the myriad of emotions skitter across Harry�s face as he slowly slid inside his lover.

Lucius kissed a tear away from Harry�s cheek before setting a slow, rocking rhythm. Soon, though, Harry�s moans and gasps and sighs got louder and Lucius� thrusts began losing their rhythm as both men tumbled together toward completion. Harry reached up and pulled Lucius� head down for a deep, intoxicating kiss as they both exploded into ecstasy.

After they cleaned up, they held each other tightly as silent tears said the final good-byes they couldn�t bring themselves to voice.


Here�s to the nights we felt alive.
Here�s to the tears you knew you�d cry.
Here�s to good-bye,
Tomorrow�s gonna come too soon.


Feedback? Send it here!


1

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws