SOME HOT JOKES
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********* FOOLS CAT ********* Tongue Twister Cool tongue twister... see if you can take up the challenge! Make sure you get every single word right! Read the following passage and then scroll down for further instructions at the end. Read loudly to yourself now read:- This is this cat. This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is fool cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now read the THIRD word in each line then you will understand what I mean!!!!!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ************************** Bill Gate's visit to Bihar ************************** Gates: Hi! you must have heard of Windows. Laloo: Oh yes! We have the concept of single window clearance in almost all our offices. Gates: Do you have Windows installed at your home as well? Laloo: No, I have sealed all the Windows as we always run the risk of burglary etc. Gates: (a little confused at this) Then what exactly is the system you operate on? Laloo: OPERATION ? Yes, I was operated on Hernia last month. Gates (sweating at Laloo's knowledge): I hope Internet is being used a lot in India. Laloo: Oh Yes! There are a lot of mosquitos and a lot of people use the net to keep them away. Gates: (bewildered at the response) By the year 2010, will India be in a position to export microchips? Laloo: We export Uncle Chips worth crores every year. Gates (feeling very Uneasy): Do you use a Laptop regularly? Laloo: My grandchildren sleep on my lap every evening. Gates (sweating profusely): It seems that the chief minister of Andhra Pradesh knows more about RAM and ROM than you? Laloo: RUM? We are taking off the ban very soon and it will be available freely. Gates (feeling dizzy at this): Well, I would like to take your leave before my system crashes. Laloo: I am sorry, I have exhausted all my leave. Gates: I have no energy left. Let's go out and have a bite. Laloo: BITE? I believe in non-violence. I will not bite. Gates: (found lying flat) Windows is restarting. Please wait ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ******** I LOVE U ******** How To Say "I love you" all around the world! English............. I Love You Spanish............. Te Amo French.............. Je T'aime German.............. lch Liebe Dich Japanese............ Ai Shite Imasu Italian............. Ti Amo Chinese............. Wo Ai Ni Swedish............. Jag Alskar Dig Alabama, Arkansas, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, West Virginia, Virginia Mississippi & Kentucky.......... Nice Chest! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ************** Khirkiyan 2000 ************** When Bill Gates was in India, SHISHIR went to him and discussed the problems common people facing related to window termology. He announced that Microsoft had plans to release a Windows 2000 version in Hindi. Here are some Windows related terms that may be used in the Hindi version of Khirkiyan 2000. Phaail - File Bachao - Save Aise bachao - Save as Subko bachao - Save All Mujhe bachao - Help Chuno - Select Sab chuno - Select All Dhoondo - Find Hilao - Move Dak - Mail Dakiya - Mailer Paas se dhekho - Zoom Door se dhekho - Zoom Out Kholo - Open Band karo - Close Naya - New Badli karo - Replace Bhaago - Run Chaapo - Print Dekh ke chaapo - Print Preview Kaapi - Copy Kaato - Cut Chipkao - Paste Ispesal chipkao - Paste Special Goli maaro - Delete Nazaara - View Auzaar - Tools Auzaar ka dabba - Toolbar Khuli chaadar - Spreadsheet Iska bhi naam nahin aata - Database Ghusao - Insert Ped - Tree Thooso - Compress Chooha - Mouse Tik-tik karo - Click Idhar-se-udhar, udhar-se-idhar - Scrollbar Chal phoot - Exit. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ******************************************************* What should be the Mail id's of our cricket celebrities ******************************************************* * SauravGanguly@Caught-By-Nagma.com * Sachin@man-of-the-match.com * RahulDravid@Jam-Jam.com * AnilKumble@Hurt-Keeper.com * AjitAgarkar@Give-Runs-To-Opponants.com * Srinath@Good-Balls-No-Wickets.com * RobinSingh@Age-No-Bar.com * VenkateshPrasad@Ever-ComeBack.com * Ramesh@No-Foot-Work.com * Azharuddin@Match-Fixer.com * AjayJadeja@another-match-fixer.com * SunilJoshi@Find-A-Place.com * ZaheerKhan@Always-Yorker.com * DehasishMohanty@Where-Is-He.com * KapilDev@Cry-On-BBC.com * ManojPrabakar@Video-Cassette.com * Coach@No-Use.com * IndianTeam@When-It-Will-Win.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *************** MONKEY BUSINESS *************** Here's a brain teaser for u to guess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Once there was a small baby monkey stranded on a small island. There was nothing on this island except dry grass and a single coconut tree with many coconuts. One hot day, the dry grass caught fire. The fire spread quickly and soon the whole island was on fire. To escape from the fire the small baby monkey climbed up the coconut tree, but the wind was strong and the fire was quickly working its way up the tree. By now the tree and the monkey were surrounded by fire. The question now is, WHAT SHOULD THE SMALL BABY MONKEY DO TO ESCAPE THE FIRE ???? Scroll down for the answer..... C'mon guess what the answer is ?? Come on folks.....its very simple.. Still, can't you find an answer ? The answer is ........................ If a big monkey like YOU doesn't know the answer, how do you expect a small baby monkey to know.....? :)))))) hehehehehe Forward this to as many MONKEYS you know!!! Thanks for your time. Sorry, I am also a victim of this monkey business! TAKE IT EASY Enjoy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *********** OUR PRAYERS *********** A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'" "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I Taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship." "Thank you!" the woman responded. The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?" One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
