<<<Tosswinkle The Pirate>>>

Ghost ship

See the lonely township, peacefully sleeping

The sun hides once again behind the sea

Most are safely dreaming- ancient kisses, butterflies

But sinners can’t escape so easily

The murderers, the thieves and the fraudulent

The over-weight, the working class, the foreigners

They all must beware, for what’s that looming there?

An evil spectre on the sea

Ghost ship

Ghost ship

Ghost ship, coming to get them

Ghost ship, sinners beware

Ghost ship, aint no escaping

The ghost ship’s coming there

Woo-woo!

Scod: What’s that Yon?

Yon: It’s the ghost ship…Woo-woo!

Scod: No, it’s gotta be really scary

Yon: Toot-toot

Scod: No, really disturbing

Yon: Oh…milky discharge

It’s masts are made of piled up scum, it’s deck only of human nuts

It’s sails are made of sailor’s skin, it’s guts are made of guts

It’s a feat of engineering

Yon: I wonder who built it?

Gatesy: I wonder who built it as well Yonny

Under the night, under the ocean stars

I was standing with my baby on the foreshore and the ghost ship was there

Took her to the pictures, then I took her home, then I took her to heaven you know what I mean

Scod: I don't wanna stop it or anything, but I'm going to go with a few of the chuckles out there. I suspect some of these punters have spotted the same inconsistencies that I've spotted. When did this song suddenly become about a woman?

Gatesy: Well i think if our show Tosswinkle the Pirate is a concept album, then this Ghost ship song would be the first single to be lifted off it The guys love the whole scary, demonic evil bogey man stuff, but as soon as you start talking about love, now you've got the ladies listening. And the ladies want to imagine they're making love to the singer... Now, I heard it, I read it in Rolling Stone. Go with me...

Ghost ship, my baby kisses like a Ghost ship

I touched my baby on her Ghost ship,

My trousers are bursting

Scod: Hang on! I touched my baby on her ghost ship? What? Where exactly is a woman's ghost ship?

Gatesy: Don't you know?

Yon: Alright, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think you've got something Gatesy. I think you're on the right track, but you might be coming in a bit fast. If you wanna do this love thing, you've got to create a bit of a mood, get inside the head of a female girl, tell them what they want to hear. Can i give you an example?

Ghost ship, expressing my feelings

Ghost ship, being a good listener

Ghost ship, thoughtful companion

Scod: I don't even know what this song's about anymore!

Gatesy; It's like foreplay

Scod: NO! It's not about foreplay, it's about an evil spectral ship that comes and gets sinners

Gatesy: What are they wearing?

Scod: No! Focus- if here's a woman on it, it's because she's a sinner

The woman's a sinner, she's gonna get dragged away

But not before a boner on the foreshore

I wrote a sentimental card, with flowers and a cute design

She'll be torn apart by demons

While she's touching my butt

Ghost ship, caring environment

Ghost ship, king of the damned

Ghost ship, overly sexual

Ghost ship- murderous

Ghost ship- empathy

Ghost ship- nude

Ghost ship- banshees

Ghost ship- thoughtful

Ghost ship- arse!

Ghost ship!

Cleaning all the rice, measuring the nuts

Enid with your barrow sticking to the peat,

You whistle to a goat and he fishes you out

Then you take him home to your hut and eat him

Enid take me down to where the mocking bird nests

Crack an egg on my forehead and smear the yolk on my chest

Enid you've the map

Enid you've the compass

You've the sexton, you've the telescope

You've got the tools , be bold

So come and find the gold

I.e. My heart.

Entering the cabin I will draw my sword

Looking so defenseless in your sleep

Fully unaware of my creeping towards you

As i move in close, i make a fatal error

The floor beneath me creaks and you wake with a start

You remind me you're my wife and we laugh at my silly mistake

I forgot that I'm not supposed to kill you

Enid you and I would make a wonderful pair

I'll hack a peasant to pieces

You'll take a pig to the fair

Enid of the windmill processing the maize and wheat

The wind strikes the sails slash propeller

That in turn drives a central shaft

That not only grinds but powers a rudimentary pump

Extracting water from the dam which irrigates the fields in the dry season

Of my heart.

Bubble helicopter i watched you when i was a kid

Bubble helicopter, with your amphibious skid

You're the kind of helicopter that they used to use on MASH

Bubble heicopter, taking off vertically

Your all-round perspex cover affords all-round visibility

And thats why i like you

Bubble helicopter

Heave-ho, heave-ho, heave-ho

We're building and Enid, Enid. Enid, Enid

---

All of Gary Coleman's former plans have been no good

But who could resist a giant woman made of wood

To lure Tosswinkle to his ultimate demise

She's got the 'come hither and get killed' look in her eyes

So unsinkable and a real lady

She'll never go down on us

It's a lie, it's a bloody trick!

It's the most slight-of-hand-ed endevour

It's like sawing a woman in half but the other way around

We're putting a woman together

She's the most uniquest woman since i can't remember when

What other girl accomodates 200 armed men

As well as recreational facilities

Including table tennis

We're building and Enid, Enid. Enid, Enid

If the Enid doesn't build

If the Enid doesn't build

If the Enid doesn't build

Us first! Enid! (toot toot!)