new york, new york

chapter 65

I was washing my hands and looking into mirror again. I softly tipped my lips that were glossy and kissable. Then I felt how my stomach went upside down. I tried to hold it back but had to turn and rush to the toilet. I vomited the coffee I had drunk earlier. I was fortunate I hadn�t eaten anything. I flushed the toilet and went back to the sink. I washed my hands again and went out.

-Oh My God! What have you done? said Tim immediately as he saw me.
-Sorry, I got sick.
-You didn�t puke, did you? Oh no. Come here, sweety. Don�t be so excited. It�s all gonna go fine. OK, sit here. Let�s put you some more red. And some blush too, you are so pale.
I was pretty amazed myself. Normally I just don�t throw up like that. I thought that Howie�s mail had brought me too many upsetting memories.
-And here we go! Are you ready?
-Just a second.
Tim brushed the final flash of rouge on my cheek and then helped me up.
-You�ll be just fine, he said as he pushed me on my way. I looked back and he smiled widely. Assistant held the door for me.
-Ten minutes.
All I could do is to hope not to be sick anymore.

Lights got into my eyes. They were hot, as lights in studios usually. I wiped off drops of perspiration from my upper lip. Assistant came to me.
-So you don�t have anything to complain about the questions we�re going to ask?
I looked at the papers that laid in my lap. I hadn�t really read them trough. But because the first round had been just usual stuff I nodded.
-OK. So there you go.
Interviewer came to sit opposite me. She was middle thirty, nice looking lady. The show was aired in Friday night but prerecorded at Thursday.
-I�m Sara, as you may know. Anna, how are you?
-I�m fine, thanks.
-You look good. Tim is marvelous, isn�t he?
-Yeah, I guess he is.
-So you�ve got the questions. We can start right away. Are you ready?
-Sure.

First questions were just normal queries about my book, it�s characters and plot. That was easy to answer and I started to relax under those burning lamps. My stomach seemed to have settled down too. But when you think you�re safe, they�ll hit.
-So what about your famous friends in US? Sara was inquisitive.
-What about them?
-I guess you met someone down there. Right?
-Not really.
-Don�t be so shy, she giggled. -You write about that in you columns too.
-Oh you mean Gregory Hines?
My laughter sounded too relieved.
-Yeah, I met him few times while I was working with that Tap Festival in NYC.
-How was it?
-Pretty much as I said in my columns. I saw him only few times. Last time we saw he greeted me. So I didn�t have that much contact with him.
-Did you see any other famous people?
-I guess in NYC you can�t avoid that. But if you mean making friends with anyone, then answer is no.
-Oh, isn�t that sad.
-No, I don�t really think so.
I took zip of water waiting her next question.
-But you had a great job down there. How did you actually got it?
-It went pretty much like this: first I worked with tap festival, then Jacob Olsson made little interview about me to the Times and then he told me there was assistant writer place open for a local new yorker newspaper. I applied it and got it.
-Many people could say you got a lot easily.
-Many people could say that you got your job easily.
She almost choked. As being former wannabemodel, she knew gossips going around about her.
-But then again only you know what you did and how much it took to achieve the place you are now. I happened to meet some of the right persons but I don�t think I would have been just enough nice to get everything. No, I think I�m enough professional and hard-working.
Eagerly she agreed and moved on.

Rest of time was easier but I was glad when it ended. I wasn�t used to talk about myself all that much. And all the time Howie�s e-mail kept spinning in my head.

Considering that it was surprising that four days later I got another e-mail from him. And I was too curious not to open it.
�Hey�, he wrote. �I know it was hopeful thinking that you�d reply. I don�t even know if you got the last one. Nothing�s changed since that. If you read it, you probably wonder why I didn�t mension anything about AJ. Well, he is fine. He is already like a father. I never thought he would be first of us to get a child. Maybe it�s some kind of ageracism but I was expecting that Kevin and Kristin would bring the first �backstreet baby� to this world. And how wrong was I again... So what else is new? We�re keeping few concerts before christmas here in US. Then in the middle of January we�ll go back to Europe once again. First we�ll end our tour there and then in late March we should get to the studio and start to work for the next album. We have only few songs ready for that and it�s driving us crazy. I�m trying to convince AJ that he should let us use that Johnny�s song, remember what we sang in Pueblo. I guess there are too many memories on it. But time heels the wounds, doesn�t it? I sure hope so.
I�m so much waiting for the christmas and those few days off. I want some time for myself. This touring is getting harder year after year and sometimes I can�t help myself wondering how long we can keep this up. Settling down to one location feels too damn temptating. And of course there is Alicia who for obvious reasons can�t tour with us. And I keep missing her. As you too.
Gotta run once again. Take care, honey. And don�t hesitate to contact me if you ever need help.�
It didn�t feel that bad anymore. I was actually smiling as I tried to imagine AJ as a father. Anyone of those guys, except Nick, would make better father than he. On the other hand I didn�t ever doubt AJ�s commitment to the family and his coming children.
I tried to remember the song AJ sang in Pueblo. I couldn�t. I could recall every other thing of that night, but the melody and words had vanished from my memory. And it got me to think if that would eventually happen completely. That some day in my future I would look at the picture where I�m on the yacht with Nick, AJ, Howie and guys and it would take me ten minutes to remember where and when it was. Even if I badly wanted to forget, I didn�t want that to happen. I was too controversial.

I moved Howie�s mail to his folder and signed out. Then I went to check timetables for the buses. It was two weeks before the christmas and it was time for me to leave that city. Oh, how I would miss roomservice back at my parents... But then again, being at home is something you can�t compare with anything.

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