new york, new york

chapter 45

-Why? I asked when I met Jacob hours later in the bar. -Why do you want to make an interview about me?
-You�re interesting personality.
-I can�t be that interesting. There are tons of more fabulous people than me out there.
-Well, maybe I don�t do that article.
-Why not?
-You haven�t given me anything to write about. They already know a lot about you and your life during the last month. I need something more.
-Like?
-Like... I don�t know. What drives you? You write a lot, I�ve heard. So, are you going to publish anything?
-Not in here.
-In Finland?
-Don�t know yet.
-But you have offered something to be published?
-Yes.
-What kind of things have you written about?
-It�s a love story.
-What about you? Are you in love?
-No, I laughed. -What makes you to ask that?
-These are the things that our readers want to know. Who you are behind you.
-Well, I�m just me.
-Then why did you run away?
-From what?
-From me earlier tonight.
-I guess I feel awkward about sharing my life story with a complete stranger.
-That�s reasonable. Want to dance?
-What?
-I�m quite good dancer. This Lindy Hop isn�t quite for me, but I�m sure we can at least try.
-Can we?
He just took my hand and me to the dance floor.

-What time is it? I asked many dances later. I had told Jacob lot about me but managed to avoid any questions that would lead to me and AJ. AJ!
-What time is it? I asked again.
-It�s soon 3.
-I have to go! Sorry Jacob, can we continue this tomorrow?
-I don�t think I need anything more. I send you a draft in the afternoon. I�ll e-mail it to Avi or Ben, so ask from them.
-Great! It was nice meeting you but I really have to run now.
-So there�s someone waiting for you after all?
-Yes. No. Well, to be honest I don�t know. But I wouldn�t tell you if I knew!
-Anna, you�re a smart girl. You will go where-ever you decide to go.
-Thanks. See you later!
I was already running out.

I was standing in the street looking up. I couldn�t see if there was any lights on. Frustrated I searched for some coins and went to the phone booth in the corner.
-Hey, where are you?
-At home. What about you?
-I�m standing down here.
-What? Why?
-You don�t let me in.
-Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you that buzzer doesn�t work. Camoon up.

I cursed heavily in the elevator. It had been raining. Yes, it was a warm summer rain, but it still makes you wet. I was afraid of electricity going down because I could hear the thunder but I didn�t want to clime the stairs.

Door to the apartment was open and I went in. AJ was sitting in the living room, looking out from the dark window, flashes crossed the sky above the roofs. Slow, sad saxophone filled the room.
-So?
I stood there wet, tired, confused.
-What did you want to talk about?
I was heading to the switch.
-Please don�t turn the lights on.
I stopped but he didn�t continue.
-Why doesn�t your buzzer work?
-It�s not going to be secret for a long time, you know. And I don�t have to wake up in the middle of night when some fan tries to get me.
-You�re not going to be in here.
-Sometimes I will.
I went closer to him but he still didn�t turn to see me.
-How�s Helen?
-She flew back to Florida last night.
-She�s not coming with you?
-She will. In the end of this week.
-She�s nice.
-Isn�t she? She�s beautiful...
-Polite and knows how to act, I completed. -Everything I�m not.
-Well, she�s not you.
I shook my head of disbelief.
-I can�t believe you asked me here for that.
-I don�t know why I asked you here. I just needed to see you in private.
-And you won�t even look at me.
He didn�t turn but I did because I had angry little tears in my eyes.
-I�m soaking wet, starving, desperate for a sleep... And you want to see me? We talked this trough, didn�t we?
-I guess we did.
He was standing behind me.
-Why wouldn�t you change? Your pajama is still on bed. There should be some soap in the bathroom. If you want to take a warm shower or something.
-You know I shouldn�t stay.
-Maybe. I�ll be leaving after an hour anyway. I�ll be gone for 2 and half months. So if you want to leave now, that�s OK with me. I was going to make some tea and sit down with you, ask how you�re doing.
I turned around carefully avoiding of touch.
-Okay. I�ll go change and you make tea.

Five minutes later I was sitting in the dim lighted kitchen with my face cleaned up and having a warm cup of tea in front of me. But I still couldn�t find the words. AJ sit as silent as me.
-What�s use of this? I had to ask finally. -I mean, we�re trough and that�s it. What could there be for us anymore?
-What about friendship?
For the first time during the night AJ looked me straight into my eyes.
-What about it?
-It was hell when you left.
I didn�t want to remember it.
-But then when you e-mailed me... It felt great. Like maybe I haven�t lost you for good.
-You haven�t.
-Well, it felt like that.
-You know you�ll always have a special place in my heart. You all do.
-It was hard to explain others what had happened. Howie knew, didn�t he?
-But Nick doesn�t?
-No. He missed you a lot though.
-What about Mandy?
-She changed her name and moved on... I don�t know. Maybe you were right about them. She just wasn�t right for him.
-It�s painful to be alone. But it�s fool to be with someone just to avoid it.
-I don�t know how you knew that.
-So what makes it so hard to understand that I�m right in here too?
-I haven�t said that you wouldn�t. What I�m trying to say is that even if we may not be lovers, couldn�t we at least be friends?
-I have nothing against it.
-But you have to have something for it.
I couldn�t help it, I yawned.
-I�m sorry. Just that I haven�t had that much of sleep. Maybe I should have taken coffee.
-No. You should go to sleep. I�m rude when I�m keeping you awake like this.
-But my clothes aren�t dry yet.
-Did you think I would let you go home alone at these hours? You can sleep in guest room.
My face must have twisted because AJ continued:
-I�ll stay away. Tom is soon coming to get me.
-OK. I�ll trust you.
I looked out from a window as a flash lightened the room.
-We can be friends.
-We can?
-We can.
I will never forget the smile on AJ�s face.

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