new york, new york

chapter 23

But then I remembered one thing. It was my turn to send a song. I went into music room and searched trough the walls. I came into the first album of Anggun. And without hesitation I chose a song number 4.

�At the ends of your fingers
I follow tonight
Caught in the lightning
Of a thousand horizons

We dance for now reason
You hold on so tight
Lost in the feeling
Of a wonderful ride�

And then I heard how someone drove into the yard. I hurried out and pursued the driver to take me at AJ�s. It took a while, but soon we were driving down there.

I had no problems of getting in. Hey, I had been living there almost for a month!

As I walked in, I got scared how much emotions it made inside of me. I looked around like I would have come back home. I got chills and tried not to think about it.

I went straight to AJ�s bedroom. I was always amazed how impersonal it was. Like a hotel room. Well, a very unique hotel room. I put the CD under his pillow and wish he would find it in the evening when he would come home late and tired... And then he would listen to that relaxing song and call me and say... what? I haven�t got that far in my fantasy. I didn�t know what I wanted to happen. Just that something would.

And it did. Something certainly happened.

I didn�t get caught at my visit at AJ�s right away. Actually, next day was quite normal. I sat down at the studio listening Brian mixing one song.
-What do you think about that?
-Brian! How am I supposed to write if you keep asking me what do I like about this and that and...
-I�m sorry.
-No problem. What was the difference?
Brian explained me once again the greatness of mixing music. And I listened once again understanding very little.
-No matter how funky or fuzzy or furious sounds you added there, I liked the previous version better.
-OK. Then what about this?
He started to mix it again and gave me a minute to write my story. It was almost finished. Somehow the block I�d had with the ending was gone. Did that mean I started to believe in romantic love again? I wish not.
-Anna. Listen to this!

We played to be an idyllic little family, I made food for us, Brian washed the dishes (put them into machine) and I made coffee and took some cake out of freezer.
-Anna. You could still come to the party tonight.
-Brian, I thought we had gone trough this already.
-We have. And I totally understand what you mean. It�s just... Leighanne said that you�re about to leave. And we are leaving anyway. We haven�t had many chances to be together, all of us. Somehow I thought that you�d be here when I come home from tour. We�re gonna miss you.
-I appreciate all you say but that doesn�t give me excuse to come. And to be honest, best parts in here hasn�t been parties. It has been a chance to say good morning to someone who answers with a smile, watching TV as a bunch, just being with you. Like this, drinking coffee.
I poured some more to Brian.
-And to be honest, I continued. -That party is about lot more than clothes. I could have let her to buy them for me and come. Or come anyway. I wouldn�t feel comfortable in there. And it�s easier for you too. I�m surprised that I haven�t appeared on any news yet.
-We know how to handle things like this.
-But I don�t know. That�s why I�m not coming. And that�s why I�m moving on. I�m so grateful for the time I�ve spent with you, but this is enough for me. At least for now.
-Is there anything I can make you to change your mind?
-Sorry Brian, there isn�t. We just have to live with the facts.
-But you�re not leaving like tomorrow?
-No, I laughed. -No, I�m not leaving tomorrow or tonight. We will have the hugest party, inside of family of course, when I leave. You will know about it, I promise.

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