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Day 4 - Part 3

She felt so frail. She was barely breathing and when she closed her eyes, he could see little blue veins running under her skin on lids. He held her up little better and she just followed his moves. Carlos gave them instructions but neither one of them really listened. Cara obeyed and pit her hands around his neck. He just felt how that small, warm hand touched him and how he wanted it to stay there. Soon Carlos stopped talking and just watched them being total smug, thinking that he had done it all. And Cara rested her head against Nick's shoulder and felt like she had finally found a place where she belonged.

It's almost too much to see her like that. Small smile on her lips is so genuinely happy that it hurts me. For a moment I hope that it would be allright, that even if I've seen her as who she's now, I hope that Nick would realize what kind of treasure he's holding in his arms and that they would live happy ever after.
I know I should go to bed, it's almost 3 am but I just can't stop the tape. I have to see it, and I have to see it now.

Nick's moves were slow, like he would've been walking in a thick fog. All he could hear was her heart beating. Did he hear it? Or rather feel it? She seemed calm but her pulse was rapid. Or was it his? He didn't know. And when he for the first time laid her on the bed, sat next to her and covered her with sheets, he felt emotions rushing over him. His hand was still touching her face, when someone yelled "Cut!", when he looked up, saw Brian behind the cameras and suddenly felt like crying.

Kevin was sitting by the pool, soaking his feet in the water. He heard someone approaching but didn't move. He didn't want to see anyone but was too tired to move. Dinner had been hell. He had to pretend being happy even if his heart was in thousand pieces. How could she? Just few days ago in Stockholm she'd said she would stand by him, that they would try again, they would be together forever... And now, picture was brought under his eyes and there was no question that the lady in that wasn't Kristin. She was there, on the streets of their hometown, kissing someone else. How could she? Even if she had to do something like that, she could have done it in secret, not under everyone's eyes. Not under his eyes.
AJ came out from the shadows and sat down next to Kevin.
-Hey, AJ said. -I hate this waiting. Do you have any idea if we're gonna shoot more this evening?
-I don't give a shit.
-Oh. Oh, yeah, man, I'm sorry. I heard about Kristin. I'm sorry I was so fucked earlier. You guys deserved to be happy. I thought you were.
-Well, so did I.
-Have you talked with her?
Kevin slowly shook his head. -No. I don't know if I ever want to talk to her.
-Sure you do. You have to get things straight.
-Like you did with Helen?
AJ looked down as the pain ran trough him. Kevin touched his shoulder.
-Sorry.
AJ lifted his head and looked somewhere over the horizon.
-I know I should've talked with her, he admitted. -If she would have been just unfaithful, then maybe we could have talked it over. But she pretended to be pregnant. And not even that... She ruined the only good chance I ever had with Anna.
-And I can't even blame her, Kevin said. -I was the first one who cheated.
-You? AJ was astonished. -When, where, with who?
-New Year's party, in the garden, with Pretty.
-Pretty? Oh my goodness, you mean Pretty as the...?
Kevin nodded. -And I can't even explain why.
-So you just told to Kristin?
-No. I gave her chlamydia.
AJ snorted. -Sorry, I'm getting hysterical. So that's how she found out? No wonder she's mad.
-She was, Kevin said. -But when she left from Stockholm, I thought we were over it. You know, that whole thing with you and Helen really got us to think.
-Something good came out of it eventually, AJ said wryly.
-Maybe. Maybe not.
-You know you have to talk with her. Sooner the better.
-But not right now, Kevin whispered and stood up.
-Hey, where you're going?
Kevin turned to see AJ.
-I just need to be alone. I think you understand.
AJ waved his hand as a sign for him to run along. He sat there for a while and admired the moon that was rising and silvering the water in the pool.

He didn't have a chance to be alone for a long time. Next one coming to the pool was Brian.
-Hey, have you seen Kevin? he asked.
-He went that way, AJ pointed. -But he wants to be alone.
-I don't know if he should.
-He's grown up man, AJ said. -You can't protect him forever.
-He's as much adult as you are. And if we hadn't looked after you... By the way, where did you leave Dolores?
-She might be hot but she doesn't understand a word that I'm saying.
-When did you start to need words? Brian joked but when AJ looked up there was pain so deep in his eyes that it made Brian shiver. -Sorry.
-This is so weird, AJ said a moment later. -We should be so happy, on the top of our world. Finally a new album, new direction to our career and to our life. And yet we're just bunch of wrecks. When did it get this way?
-I don't know.
-You're happy, right? With Leighanne?
-Yeah, I think so. It feels worse to be apart but when we are together, nothing could come in between us.
They looked at the moon.
-I want to find her, AJ whispered.
-Anna?
-Who else?
-If you really want to, you can. You know that.
-I hoped that she would have contacted me. After hearing that Helen's gone and everything. But she didn't.
-She was hurt, Brian reminded. -She planned a lifetime with you and then... Boom. She had to build a different life. And I don't know if it's good idea to shake it. I know you loved her...
-I still do.
-But maybe you have to let go. Who was she anyway? Just a girl from some foreign country. You never got to really be with her. Maybe that's why you still want her? We get so much so easily that we start to look for things we can't get.
-Like happiness?
Brian didn't answer. He knew his fellow well enough. AJ wanted to be miserable and then there was nothing to change his mind. He'd come around. In the end of the evening he'd be dancing with Dolores and then it wouldn't matter that she didn't understand a word. It might even be better. And Kevin... It was a hard thought but truth was that it was his time to face consequences of his actions.
Brian would have to call to Leighanne and ask her to talk some sense into Kristin. Ask if it really was her in that photo. And if so, tell her some basic rules. That if she'd go trough with it, she'd lose Kevin and every connection she'd made trough Boys. Shutting her out wouldn't be easy but Kevin would be better off completely than hanging somewhere in between.
-You remember Cara? Brian then asked.
-Who?
-Cara, Cara Castillo. Girl who works for us. One who joined us in Vienna. One that used to follow us and came to that New Year's Party.
-Oh, the one who Be-Bob had to take home since she was so stoned when Nick tried to hit on her. Sure. What about her? Is she here?
-She's been with us since.
-I never see her.
-You just don't pay attention on her. But the fact is that right now she's making a video with Nick.
-What?
-Carlos picked her up from the yard and she couldn't refuse. They shaved her head and everything to make her look like Nick.
-No shit?
-And you know what? Brian grinned. -I think our Nicky-boy is falling for her!
AJ's face went white.
-What? Brian asked. -So that if it didn't work with you or Kevin, no one could make it? What about Leighanne and me?
-You're different, AJ mumbled.
-Maybe so. But you don't get involved to this Nick-thing, okay? It would be a good time for him to settle down, even for a while.
-So that someone else could stab him between his ribs like...?
-Sure he can keep up with his career as a playboy. So can you. Hey, what about we all get like that? Like the early days when we toured around. That was a life, wasn't it? No matter that only women we could trust were our mothers. And Nick didn't really have even that.
Brian got up and even if he tried to deny it, he was really pissed off. Everyone was so self-centered those days.
-I'm gonna leave you here feeling sorry for yourself, okay? Brian started to walk away.
-You can't save us all, you know? AJ yelled after him. Brian stopped, turned but held his temper and began to walk again. He knew that AJ was right but he couldn't take it from him. There was only one person who could make him feel better right then. He had to talk with Leighanne.

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