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June 19, 2002
I visited my old school today. Actually I went there to resign. Which I did. And even if I have been certain of doing it over a year, I still stopped wondering if I maybe shouldn't. But I resigned and said goodbye to the school that was more or less part of my life over two years. Mostly less because reading my old calendar shows that I went to school perhaps once a week. Man there asked reason for resigning. I told him that the school was completely wrong for me. He asked what do I want to do then. And I said that I want to write scripts. I had to literally explain him what it meant. It's not even funny, it's sad. It reminds me that from now on I have to struggle for what I want. That I have to keep explaining that to people who look at me with wry smile on their face and couldn't care less but wont rent their apartment to me or give me a job. Do not be different. But I've always been. And I'll always be. What am I trying to say here? When I walked out from that school, I thought that maybe I should go back. That maybe I should bury my fantasies and face the truth, live in a real world. Maybe I should. But please, not yet. Do not settle! Fight for what you want. Then if you lose your battle, you know you've tried. And if you end up doing something you never thought, still do it well. I mean I could have graduated from that school with good grades. But no, I didn't want to do anything for that and ended up hanging in between school and work and life and writing. Working for that would have not been settling. It would have been wise. Yeah well, I know that now� So I'm out here. I have no job, no place to stay (after 3 weeks) and all I do is to wait to get to my another old school for 10 days course because there you'll be fully covered. I mean three meals per day, accommodation and everything. Nothing to worry about as long as you have enough money for one beer and game of pool. I'm irresponsible individual. Please do not take me too seriously. |