| I�ve been reading hundreds of posts on the Internet lately about people speculating how David Copperfield was able to fly in his TV Special, and quite frankly, I�m tired of reading about it so I�m going to set the record straight by telling the exact truth and exposing the diabolical secret, even if it means breaking the sacred oaths of secrecy that all us magiacians are sworn to. Now, the truth can finally be known. This reliable information comes from a personal friend of mine who knows a guy who lives next to a person who works with the half sister of a hairdresser that used to do the hair for the wife of one the Aunts of Copperfield�s van driver�s step brothers, so you know it has to be true. First, Mr. Copperfield tried to improve on the floating dollar bill idea, substituting himself for the dollar bill, but he found he was too heavy and the invisible thread broke each time. So, after about dropping only about 17 million dollars in research, he had some scientists at NASA invent a bio-molecular anti-gravity milk shake. The shake works on the same principles of metasymbioc carbohydric ionization and essentially increases the molecular weight of the iron in the blood and at the same time expanding fat tissue with excess gaseous air (a result of conglopyopyosiomosis). Then in conjunction with a giant electro magnetic that is specially calibrated to attract shifted iron particles in human cells, David was indeed able to use a single strand of invisible thread to help give the illusion of levitation (the IT is attached to David�s belt buckle with a glob of Michael Ammar�s Magician�s wax). The thread is manipulated off stage by an expert puppeteer who is skilled in the arts of ballet dance and the entire fairy, Peter-Pan like sequence is choreographed by the famed Lee �Klonsoni� Bouchard (who helped teach Christopher Reeve learn to fly in the Superman movies). In essence, Copperfield functions like a giant helium balloon, except he is worth a lot more money and is not nearly as round. The busy background of the theater curtains is only a clever use of misdirection. Copperfield wants you to believe that it�s camouflage for some sort of childish dirty work such as cables or wires, but ha ha, he is fooling magicians and laymen alike! How do you think he can fly outdoors? How do you think he can fly with a bedazzled attractive spectator in his arms? How do you think he can fly up the side of buildings with no visual means of support? The shake, boys. The shake. The shake itself can be extremely dangerous if used improperly. First an exact dosage must be used as too much will result in hemorrhagic bloating, and too little causes massive, painful gas. A full gallon of Pepto Bismol and 1000mg of Tagamet must be consumed one hour before ingestion to retard the undesirable side effects of the shakes main ingredient, rytylisticolycincyniroplythioticythethymen. And don�t think for a moment that NASA didn�t consider sharing their little gravity defying wonder with other interested parties. After being approached by every magician in the world (as well as Michael Jackson, Elton John, and Magic Johnson), they refused to sell the ingredients to the shake for fear of being sued into oblivion by Copperfield�s army of amazingly high priced lawyers. The US Military quickly confiscated the formulated recipe to the shake (but not before Copperfield was able to secretly copy it using a swami gimmick) and is still conducting top-secret warfare research with the shake now known as Project Highfly. So please, keep this diabolical secret to yourself. It can�t be bought. It can�t be duplicated. Copperfield won�t live to see 50, because the long-term effects of the shake are still unknown, and it�s not even FDA approved. Hope this info helped and puts an end to all the ridiculous speculation. Now the truth is known. Oh yeah, they only put milk and vanilla ice cream in it to counter the awful taste, which was described by Copperfield as, �reminiscent of thumb tip sweat.� WRITINGS |
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