| The next time you get spammed with another one of those god-awful email letters that promise you a free fortune or attempt to warn you about some ridiculous imminent danger, be sure to reply with this. . . FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: As a public service to all owners of an email account, I kindly ask for your attention for a moment and allow me to give you a real important message. Please, please, pleeeeeease, good friend, do not forward emails to me that involve any sort of top secret billion dollar business merges and expect me to actually read it, never mind forward it to the next defenseless person with the inane hope that I will actually receive $23.04 (or some other ridiculous obscure amount) for every other person that actually believes it and makes the same mistake by forwarding it yet again. In fact, don't just NOT forward it to me, don't forward it to ANYBODY (unless of course, you don't like them) for when you do, you continue the crusade of ignorance. Billion dollar mergers? Microsoft tracking devices? Multi-million dollar Pepsi research? Well, we all know it has to be true, right? It�s coming from a real honest-to-God attorney (or doctor, or police officer, or some other figure that is supposed to instill credibility). Come on folks, lets do the math for a moment. If these figures were real, Microsoft would owe billions of dollars to all us mouse potatoes at the end of each business day. Gee, that�s a great financial idea! I'll be sure to hold my breath waiting for that check. As an American you should know nothing is for free. Who is coming up with this stuff anyhow? Here's a tip for those of you who haven't yet been enlightened. All these emails are are just old, rehashed pyramid schemes mixed with classic urban legends resurfacing as nefarious emails to assault the gullible and unknowing of the new generation. ALL THEY DO IS GENERATE MAILING LISTS SO YOU CAN BE BOMBARDED BY MORE ADS, JUNK, and SPAM! I know what you may be thinking, "Yeah, I know it's bullshit, but just in case I really can get rich, I'll forward it." Well, on goes our addresses onto mass mailing lists so we can get mouse finger deleting all that crap and waste our valuable time when we could be viewing more important things (like visiting the cool website: www.geocities.com\fingerjack). Not to mention the belittling feeling you get when you go to check your email and you think someone actually spent a moment to write you, but instead is only attempting to make themselves rich without as much as typing a simple "hello" or "how are ya?" While you are at it, please don�t bother with the emails that warn of poisoned hypodermic needles placed in strategic areas to infect me with some rare, deadly bacteria. . . or about a cult of maniacs that will kill you if you flash your highbeams at them. . . or the pedophile who was caught in the men's room of your favorite department store shaving the head of a little girl in order to sneak her out as a boy. Two great books on urban legends are "Alligators in the Sewers" and "The Baby on the Roof," both by Tom Craughwell, and its amazing how so many of the older ones have been revamped for today's paranoid society and distributed via email. Want some good advice? Don't forward emails like that in bulk to anyone, especially me. In fact, whenever you see an email with "FW Important" or anything of the sort, you should simply delete it without reading it. Or, just visit any or any other of the dozens of Internet Hoax sites such as HOAXBUSTERS to get all the details on this scam and hundreds of others. It's time to be enlightened. So until then my friends, fight back against this junk!!! Don�t fall victim to this idiocy! Don't fuel the fire of ignorance, help stamp it out!!! And if nothing else, DON'T FORWARD EMAIL! Now go forward this to everyone you know right away. Thanks. |
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