Deep in the wooded terrain of northern Maine, lies the small town of Albamami. As a family of four was sitting down to have dinner in the fall of 1984, the youngest child screamed in horror and pointed at the window. To the family�s shock and dismay, they saw the large face of a hairy, man-ape creature peering in at them. As the father ran to get his shotgun, the terrified family huddled under the kitchen table while the Bigfoot monster clawed and sniffed at the window, obviously enticed by the scent of the family�s venison meatloaf. The father returned and fired a single shot at the beast, and it fled in pain and terror off into the deep woods of the backyard. The family called the local police chief, Sgt. Kilroy, who in turn called Wayne and Raymond.
�Although Bigfeet (not Bigfoots) are mostly found out west, we sometimes have cases right here in New England.� says Wayne. The Boorans arrived on the scene several hours later and calmed the frightened family. �We found Bigfoot�s big footprints around the house and garage, and a trail of blood, which we followed into the woods,� recalls Ray. �After searching for a couple hours it started getting dark and it was getting difficult to follow his trail. It was a stroke of luck when Ray accidentally stepped in Bigfoot dung. We were able to determine from a scraping off of his shoe that we were dealing with a Sasquatchian Humanaurus, a near extinct Bigfoot species usually only found in the snowy tundras of the Antarctic.�
The Boorans knew from experience that such Bigfeet lived in caves, so they headed for the hilly region. It wasn�t long before there was a confrontation with the Bigfoot monster. While sticking his head into a cave, Wayne was grabbed by the ears by two giant hairy man-paws and dragged in. Ray was quick to use his Bigfoot mace and spray blindly into the darkness at the lumbering figure. �The monster had no way of knowing that we meant it no harm, so we had to be tactful, compassionate, and humane.� Wayne, using his martial arts skills, a police baton, and a high voltage stun gun, was able to subdue the blinded beast, and it was shackled with chains and wires and dragged out of it�s lair. �We were careful not to use excessive force, for we were concerned with the animal�s safety as well.�
After several dozen kicks to the head, the beast was unconscious enough for the Boorans to examine him. It had been grazed in the left upper arm from the farmer�s shotgun blast. They administered first aid (salt, alcohol, Band-Aid) and left the peaceful creature to rest in it�s natural habitat. �People know us only as Demonologists, but every now and then we have to attend to even God�s little creatures. The Bigfeet are harmless and misunderstood, lets not brand them as savage animals.� |
