Release Date: September 9, 2003
Label: Vagrant Records
1. The After Dinner Payback
I'm not wishing anymore
I'm not writing songs for you
I sleep better in the dark
I'm not doing this for you
This is because of you I don't believe
Tongue tied an institute of my relief
You're my, my reason to shame
(my reason to shame)
I'm not wishing anymore
I'm not writing songs for you
I sleep better in the dark
I'm not doing this for you
This is because of you I don't believe
Tongue tied an institute of my relief
One wish that this is over
You are all I waste today
(discarded worthless throw it away)
Will it tear you apart?
Will it?
Will it tear you apart?
(When I turn and walk away
abandon, its not worth the effort
When Stalling means
Too fucking scared to create
abandon, its not worth the effort
When stalling and too scared)
One wish that this is over
You are all I waste today
(discarded worthless throw it away)
Will it tear you apart?
Will it?
Will it tear you apart?
When I turn and walk away
I'm not holding onto this
I'm not wasting words on you
I sleep alone in spite of it
I'll do anything for you
This is because of you I feel relief
Tongue tied to investigate what I believe
You're my, my reason to blame (my reason to blame)
I'm not holding onto this
I'm not wasting words on you
I sleep alone in spite of it
I'll do anything for you
This is because of you I feel relief
Tongue tied to investigate what I believe
You're my, my reason to blame (my reason to blame)
2. Lilacs And Lolita
So I'm sorry,
as two hands open doors.
So I'm sorry,
Something serene to steal my life away.
Climbing on the way up,
Sizing up the competition,
waiting for the right time,
To strike a chord and change your life.
Don't you ever think for one-second that
i will forget the reasons that i cried.
You are no more potent than words that choke me
I sit and ask you two words.
But this is not a product,
and we're not in competition,
waiting for the right time,
to strike a chord and your life.
Regret's how i spell your name.
In light of what you have done.
How can you not feel the same?
My love will fade with the sun.
As days go by, shed a tear.
I hate your face more than life.
I'll fake a smile for (you) my dear.
So turn away.
Climbing on the way up,
Sizing up the competition,
Waiting for the right time,
To strike a chord and change your life.
3. No Trivia
M, 4, V, T, C and H
Might need to provide this number at the gate
Steady pilot because I'm half afraid
I can't believe youd ask me that
Of Course I dont believe in fate
Would you be depressed?
If I attend that wedding, but only as a guest
Such an unfaithful bride draped in dress
Spun with threads of my regret
Sing it loud to drown out the feeling
When you're feeling much more odd (even)
And half as true as dishonored seamen
We'll breathe Pacific and fight our demons
Would you be depressed?
If I attend that wedding, but only as a guest
Such an unfaithful bride draped in dress
Spun with threads of my regret
So arch your back
And flip your hair
Make eye contact so you know I care
You know I care
But only as a guest
Such an unfaithful bride draped in dress
Spun with threads of my regret
4. Milligram Smile
All my hopes and all of my dreams
Everything falling in between
Seems to me that the memories
(They) mean more to you than they do to me.
Through the sky and into your eyes.
And I see everything falling in between
Sew the lips right into your smile.
I'm OK with faking this,
I'll fake everything just to slip your kiss.
If I'm a writer, and I'm a poet, I might love you,
But never show it
You should forget me, this is a long tour,
And I'll be back but, not in time for...
If all we speak is rational thought
Everyday I pray for the sadness.
(My) eyes are black, my throat full of sickness
The words I write, are cheap and trite,
But they're drawn on the back of your door
Surrounded by, numbers that,
Remind of the ones before
All my hopes and all of my dreams
Everything falling in between
Seems to me that the memories
(They) mean more to you than they do to me.
Through the sky and into your eyes.
And I see everything falling in between
Sew the lips right into your smile.
I'm OK with faking this,
I'll fake everything just to slip your kiss.
The words I write, are cheap and trite,
But they're drawn on the back of your door
Surrounded by, numbers that,
Remind of the ones before
My lips are cold.
The truth is told.
5. The Second Wrong Makes You Feel Write
Begin, present, fade out,
Judgement please don't fail me now,
This time, this time
A lesson learned is a picture burned,
You're a memory to me,
Upon ignition come bear witness to the greatest therapy,
Just begin, present, fade out,
Judgement please don't fail me now,
This time
That was the day I put your picture aside.
Swallowed the fact that our dream had died.
Every time you close your mind,
You should be seeing me.
Every time you close your eyes (at night)
Every time you close your eyes
You should be seeing me.
As you lay in bed at night, I'll be there in your dreams.
So sorrows in, in that what you heard?
That you can cash in, on what we wrote,
Helpless isn't the right word but it's the first that comes to mind,
There's worse things than being unknown,
I think in time I'll get by
That was the day I put your picture aside.
Swallowed the fact that our dream had died.
Every time you close your mind,
You should be seeing me.
Begin, present, fade out,
Judgement please don't fail me now
You're to die for.
Life means more.
Out of sight.
With no light.
6. Every Reason To
I thought about the end today
The final chapter
The last scene
Ending what is here and what is now
And all there is to come.
No hope for tomorrow, for today.
Through all this talk, on how numb.
There's one just out of reach.
On how numb, and you bet it shows, you bet it shows
Shake downs like these get old,
So now I take my heart in hand,
Bleach out the shades of detriment,
Branded with names that I resent,
Worship on your knees again
Wear it upon my sleeve the end
Ending what is here and what is now
And all there is to come.
No hope for tomorrow, for today
Through all this talk, on how numb.
There's one just out of reach.
On how numb, and you bet it shows, you bet it shows
Shake downs like these get old,
And you bet it shows, you bet it shows
In your eyes I can see
Tomorrow out of reach.
This is detachment
In your eyes I can see
Tomorrow beyond me
7. Autumns Monolouge
Oh why cant I be what you need
a new improved version of me
but i'm nothing so good
no i'm nothing
just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
of violence of love and of sorrow
i beg for just one more tomorrow
where you hold me down fold me in
deep deep deep in the heart of your sins
I break in two over you
I break in two
And each piece of me dies
And only you can give the breath of life
But you dont see me, you dont...
here i'm in between darkness and light
bleached and blinded by these nights
where im tossing and tortured til dawn
by you, visions of you then youre gone
the shock lifts the red from my face
when i hear someone's taking my place
how could love be so thoughtless, so cruel
when all, all that i did was for you
i break in two over you
i break in two
and each piece of me dies
and only you can give the breath of life
but you dont see me you dont..
i break in two over you
i break in two
and each piece of me dies
and only you can give the breath of life
but you dont see me you don't...
i break in two over you
i break in two over you, over you
i break in two
i would break in two for you
now you see me
now you don't
now you need me
now you don't
8. Alive Out Of Habit
In you I see further.
Can it last forever?
Identify your patients, XY configurations
Words are lost in your eyes.
One thought inside my heart.
Drop addicts in the mixture, falcons have blown the fixture
Think of me as days pass us by.
Shards of glass
Skies of gold
Steal my breath
Blood runs cold
Violet waves
Oceans blue
All my love
Lost in you
In you I see further.
Can it last forever?
Sinkhole that we would frequent,
White heels safe from extinction
Words are lost in your eyes.
One thought inside my heart.
I said that I don't need you, but I'm a liar, I swear I do, I do
Strip away
Vanity
I do
Just as you
Consume me
I do
Broken smile
Starless sky
I do
Save it all
Say goodbye
You're out in left field, and lacking interest
You fight the boredom but it makes no difference
Your mental health kid, that's what's in question
Keep acting obscure, we'll keep them guessing
The moment ideas are conceived,
They'll be out of touch, obsolete,
They're faking champions hand picked,
And all the fights have been fixed,
You wake to suffer through the day,
Trade a dream for the pay,
Well here's the fact I hope it sticks,
You're just alive out of habit
Shards of glass
Skies of gold
Steal my breath
Blood runs cold
Violet waves
Oceans blue
All my love
Lost in you
Strip away
Part of me
Just as you consume me
Broken smile
Starless sky
End it all
Say good-bye.
Think of me as I say good-bye.
9. All I Taste Is What's Her Name
The tears suspend.
Smiles are not more than (empty love)
Locked doors can keep you alone
Forever paint words (from your lips) in a house that's no longer your home
Take the dreams I know (as my own) and it worsens weekends
Thanks again for my misery. And you run with fake friends
I'm sick of your sad songs and sing alongs.
I kind of like it when things are wrong.
Straight from left end,
They'll shout corrections,
And I'll decline, I'll decline
A source of comfort or some protection
And I'll decline
Smiles are not more than (empty love)
Locked doors can keep you alone
Forever paint words (from your lips) in a house that's no longer your home
Take the dreams I know (as my own) and it worsens weekends
Thanks again for my misery. And you run with fake friends
I'm sick of your sad songs and sing alongs.
I kind of like it when things are wrong.
Straight from left end,
They'll shout corrections,
And I'll decline, I'll decline
A source of comfort or some protection
And I'll decline
In your throat
You will see
Surface relocated
Therapy.
All I taste of today
Is the shame (of) my whore prety
All I know are apologies
Do you feel the shame?