40 days....Today Dawud enters into the Gates of Heaven and May God have mercy on his soul and may he be judged for the all good in him.

His heart is beautiful and strong.

God please take him and take care of him and help him watch over his children.

Everyone reading this, please pray for Dawud and his family. God Bless you.

In The Name Of The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen
--Sandra Salim
<mailto:[email protected]>

Mother Superior, a long time friend and teacher of Dawud and I, whom we love very much and often came to for guidance, has recently returned from a her trip abroad.

She just found out about David and is equally as sad as all of us are. She loved him very much.

Mother will begin the 40 day prayers and vigil today and keep the candle for Dawud for the next 40 days as his soul enters Heaven.

Thank you Mother and God Bless you for having touched our lives. Please continue to do so. Dawud loves you, otherwise he wouldn't have come to visit so soon before he died. You were a huge part of his life. Thank you for honoring his wish to make amends.

Also, thank you for putting up with our marital spats inside the Monestary.

We love you Mother Superior

--Sandra Salim

Yeah- A month, come and gone already...When I woke up on Monday morning, I thought- wow-has a month passed so soon? I've been in such a fog that I barely noticed. The other night, Kaila and I were watching "So You Think You Can Dance".. For one of the dances, the song was- Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman. Immediately, I time warped back to when I was 19 and Dawud and I went to the amusement park. WHile we were there, he went into one of those recoring booths and sang that song and taped it. I told Kaila the story and she looked so touched. I remembered I had the tape somewhere, and I was able to locate it and show her. Of course, we listened to it 2 or 3 or 4 times. She danced to it, sang w/him and cuddled near me. I am so glad that I had that memory for her. As I listened, I could picture him in that soundproof booth- singing his heart out (which everyone knew he loved to do)..It brought a smile to my face, a tear to my eye, and love for my little girl that filled me up completely. We both miss you Dawud. I wish we had been able to spend more time with you over the past year. I believe everything happens for a reason- but I'm still not quite sure what reason for this terrible crime was.

We love you daddy- may you find peace and be free.
--Clare

Dawud LIVES through all our memories of him. His uniqueness enables our memories to be vivid for years to come. I'm glad you have so many things to remember him by, but the biggest gift of all are his kids. If i were to die tonight i would be content because of the fact that i married the woman that i Love, and i left her two beautiful children to remember me by. This is life's purpose, and it isn't something that every man is able to accomplish.

Never let go of the memories. If memories weren't so important, God would've provided us with a "FF >>" button. And it's because of the fact that memories are so important, that God didn't provide us with a "<< RW" button, because if we could go back, we might erase what we had.

Dawud, you made this world an interesting place for many people while you were here, we thank you for that. If everybody was like me, this would be a boring mF to live in.

More importantly, i Love you for loving my sister with all your heart for the many years that you were together. One memory that sticks out was how you stuck up for her at Perkins one night when she ran into some old "friends" of hers that did her wrong. You confronted some big black mF until he finally apologized to Sandra. It was moments like those that stuck with me and made me keep holding on to the hope that you'd get off the streets and come back to your family for good. I never gave up on that hope, hance, never said anything bad about you. Come to think of it, i treated you like the male version of Sandra (hahaa).

Although we never really bonded, your actions always made you part of my thoughts. You'll definitely stay in my thoughts forever.


Love,
Joey

Thank you for that Joey. I had forgotten about that day. I love you for always being there for us. You never judged Dawud and I and always had an open heart for both of us. Yes, he was the male version of me in a lot of ways. How I used to be anyway. Although, I had limits and he did not. Somehow, we always made it out of whatever situation though. That's what made Dawud so exciting. Maybe that's why we stayed together for so long. I had hope in our family staying together.

Last year, when we got back together for the last time and we came over your house, I remember both of us trying to indirectly convince you that this is meant to be and we will always end up together. Although, everyone was not happy. I was truly happy in a way, I got my way, my family was together. But, like you said, he got off the streets, came home, but couldn't stay home. He wanted it both ways. God had another plan for us and was testing the waters so to speak.

I am happy where I am, nothing will change that, everything is as it should be and I am safe with my kids, even Dawud knew this and he is here with us now.

No matter what, Dawud still did not deserve to die this way. My heart hurts continuously at the thought that he was over powered, beaten, and stabbed. Haram It will take forever to let that go. It hurts that we couldn't help him. I was always there for him.

I can type all day and then some. I just wanted to thank you for your never saying anything bad about him. For Dominion too!!! He is the reason I hurt so bad. I love you and Dawud always loved and respected you too--Joey, my wonderful, brilliant, beautiful, understanding baby bro.
God Bless you and your family.
I love you,
Sandoura
--Sandra Salim
<mailto:[email protected]>

I am posting this as i have just found out about Dawud's death this morning. I was walking through a supermarket tried to enter through the exit and found a sign posted. It had "David's" face on it. I was on my way to a family photo shoot. I had such a difficult time keeping a smile on my face when I knew i would not be able to see his smiling face. I also thought alot about his family. I have been angry sad, crying and confused about this news. He was a wonderful friend. He helped me through a few stupid moments. I am kicking myself in the butt for leaving town and being so late on this tragic news. Many of you probably don't know me. I will keep you all in my heart and prayers. His children especially. ----------Dear family, if there is anything I can do that would benefit his children, please feel free to call or e-mail me, if only for support or whatever. --216-431-1499 hwrdgwndlyn@yahoo
--Elizabeth
<mailto:hwrdgwndlyn@yahoo>

It's been 20 years since dave and I met. It was a night I didn't expect and will never forget. I'm sure you have heard the expression be careful what you wish for you just might get it. I went out looking for love and had a very certain someone in mine. I went to a place on the lower west side called "Devilla" to meet up with a guy I worked with and went there with once. He didn't show that night, but Dawud (dave)did and the rest is history. He was a little younger than I (7 yrears) do the math, but I didn't know that at first. He was confident and sure of him self as I discovered after he ask me to dance and we got to know each other later. I went out looking for true love and today I can reveal I found it. We had many great nights from that night on and I never would have dreamed our relationship would span 2 decades. I new Dawud like I know the back of my hand, all of his many sides, moods & colors. He was as complex and multi-layered as only one other person I know (myself). He was a big part of my life and maybe the only person who ever really knew me at all. This may suprise all of you, our bond was deep as soulmates are and what we had was elevated and special. I'm not suprised he spent some of the last hours of that day he passed with me. God is good and if it was written in the book of days that this would be his time, I know he lead him to me to say goodbye. The irony was that since we were making plans to live together, I was joyful in knowing that he was going to be in my life and I would see him again. I had no I idea the hug and kiss at the door would be the last. He held me like he didn't want to let go and now I wonder if deep inside he knew this would be our farewell. I've made some astonishing discoveries about Dave and learned a few life lessions since his passing. Never hold back when you want to tell someome you love them, I tried that day and now I regret not having said it, but somehow Dawud has done the impossible, he got a message to me from the other side, he said "I know" and there was more, but only I understand. So his spirit lives on and we have a secret code so I know he is present. I never felt closer to anyone like this before and whats happening is a Miracle. I'm intuitive and sensitive to the para-normal world so I'm not suprised. We even talked about Psychic ability that day cause I have gifts if that's what you call it. I just listen to that still small voice I believe is God and I see things others miss. I loved Dave so much, he was as child like and lite hearted as myself. He loved dancing and music, though I never heard him sing. I sing semi-professionally so I think he was reluctant to do it in front of me. He saw me perform many times at many clubs over the years. Dave loved the night life, he was very social, loved everyone, had no enemies that i ever saw. I could tell stories of our adventures but what always amazed me was how he had a way of finding me no matter where I was. After a long while Dave came back into my life May of 2005. I was sitting outside my apartment waiting for a bus to go to work to pick up my pay when this black car drove by. he was stopped at the light and all I saw was the back of his head. I knew it was him, I had a feeling and I had him on my mind for three days before this day happened. The light changed, the car drove off as I stood up to get a closer look then it vanished as it turn the corner. I sat there and said God if that was him please make him come back. I turned away to look for that bus that was so late, next thing I know that black car pulled up across the street and Dave got out. We were happy, shocked, crying and hugging for what seemed like 20 minutes. I prayed for him to come back into my life and he did. He always had a way of showing up when I needed him the most. I miss the love & caring & that smile. No one can do what you did for me. Julie if you read this contact me, I've learned some things. I have pictures 4u and would like some too.
--Tena (the woman in black)
<mailto:[email protected]>

Dave, you were and always will be the LIGHT in my life. When we went to the beach at night you were like sunshine in the middle of the night. We are night people, perhaps the angels that watch over others as they sleep. I'm still up all night, just have to fly solo now. I was really looking forward to having you here with me at night. I do feel your spirit but it's not the same. I know dreams are visitations so I want you to know that I got your message and I believe. You went to the right person, I'm so grateful to Cindy for being a medium-link between us, but your visitations in my dreams are welcome and needed. You never let anyone or anything come between us and that impressed me much, but never in my wildest dreams did I think you would help me solve one of lifes greatest mysteries. We had the power to do anything when we were together and it looks like we have more ahead of us inspite of the crossover. It's hard not to be broken hearted, yet its comforting still to have this thing we have now. I don't understand why this is all happening now, I never had supernatural experiences with relatives and other friends who have passed, but at the same time I can't get enough. I wanted you in my life again and I got my wish. I've read a book called (The Secret
recently and it's about the law of attraction & being sucessful and getting what you wish for.
It may be the explaination for how you always came when I wished for you, but I believe you
had something uncanny. Every woman dreams of the guy who comes to look for her to make all her dreams come true. He knows her, excepts her for who and what she is, he lights up when she walks into the room and when he calls her name it's like music to her ears. His words are softly spoken and comforting and his gaze is all so mesmerizing. He offers to take care of her and this offer is unexpected and heart warming and just when shes caught up in all the
enchantment he cracks a joke or asks a question
that makes her blush. Yes he's real, her dream come true. You made my dreams come true Dave & I will always love you four that. Thanks for giving me the best day of my life on the last day of yours. It was all I wanted & dreamed of for so long. That little small voice is telling me our destiny has not been fulfilled, so I will see you when I get there.
Always and forever your girl, we still have much to talk about. I can't get you off my mind and when I try you remind me your still around. I don't think there's anything else I can say except don't stop reaching out to me. I'm very aware, I'm not afraid and I want more, I'm open to the idea and the experience and I see what God was preparing me for all these years. I know this is frustrating for you so imagine how I feel. Most people don't get how this works and their to afraid to explore it much less believe. You didn't believe that day, now you know whats true about everything. Well I could go on forever, but I know we have forever. This note is more for you than anyone else to read and your probably looking over as I write this. I just got road runner this week so I decided to check out this site. If everything happens for a reason, maybe this note almost 2 years after your passing will amount to something. All I know in this moment is that I miss you like crazy and I wish I could see your face. I met Julie and her family, she's great. She loved you so much and I wanted to tell her that you spoke of her that day. It would make her happy to know that you said you loved her that day. If she reads this she knows now. julie, he was moving to spend time with me before he went to Colorado and not to get away from you. He said he also wanted to be the man of the house. Every man needs to feel like a man, you understand that, and he knows you were only concerned for him when you disagreed, so don't let your heart be heavy with guilt about disagreements. Dave was happy that day and we had a heart warming day together,he was very happy. TD
--Tena (P.S. I love you_Dave)
<mailto:[email protected]>

I HAVE THE ONLY PICTURES TAKEN AT THE FUNERAL,[JULIE CONTACT ME SO YOU CAN GET COPIES OF THEM]
I WOULD LOVE IT VERY MUCH IF YOU COULD GET ME SOME GOOD ONES OF DAVE. I THINK TO SEE SOME OF HIM AS HE WAS WOULD BE HEALTHIER THAN WHAT I HAVE, ALTHOUGH SOMETHING IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN NOTHING. I WAS SUPRISED TO SEE YOU ON THE BUS BUT IT WAS NO ACCIDENT. I DECIDED TO CATCH THAT ONE INSTEAD OF ANOTHER ONE AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT THERE YOU WERE. I FELT HE WAS THERE THAT MOMENT. I HAD JUST PASSED BY HOLY CROSS JUST DAYS BEFORE THAT AND I THINK I SAW YOUR HUSBAND AND YOUNGER DAUGHTER IN THE WALMART PARKING LOT ON BROOKPARK ROAD. SOMETHING IS REALLY HAPPENING HERE THAT CAN'T BE IGNORED. I WANT TO ALSO TALK TO YOU ABOUT DAWUD, I'VE TALKED TO PEOPLE AND HEARD SOME THINGS THAT MAY SHED SOME LIGHT ON WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM.
WHEN YOU SEEK SOMETHING OUT, IT FALLS INTO YOUR LAP. READ "THE SECRET" BY RHONDA BYRNE, IT MAY OPEN UP SOME DOORS FOR YOU. I HOPE YOUR DOING WELL AND STILL HAVE MY NUMBER, IF NOT E-MAIL ME OR I WILL CALL YOU. I HOPE WE CAN GET TOGETHER SOON AND TALK. I CRY EVERYDAY OVER THIS THING & IT STILL HURTS EVEN AFTER ALL THIS TIME. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, I LOVED HIM TOO, MAYBE TOO MUCH, BUT YOU CAN'T HELP WHO YOU LOVE OR JUST STOP WHEN THEY GO. I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO MOVE, BUT I LOOK BACK AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A BLESSING IF HE HAD CAUSE HE WOULD BE ALIVE AND OUT THERE SOMEWHERE AND I WOULD HAVE THE PLEASURE OF KNOWING HE WOULD FIND ME AGAIN SOMEDAY. I HOPE YOU ARE WELL AND BETTER THAN YOU WERE BEFORE, WE GOTTA STAY STRONG GIRL, GOTTA STAY STRONG. HE WOULD HAVE LOVED TO KNOW THAT WE MET AND ARE IN TOUCH,I WOULD LIKE THAT TO. IT MEANT ALOT TO ME THAT YOU INVITED IN INTO YOUR HOME & YOU DIDN'T REALLY KNOW ME. SEEING HIM LIKE THAT AND HAVING TO DO IT ALONE WAS THE HARDEST THING I EVER DID, BUT NOTHING WOULD HAVE KEPT ME FROM COMING, I EVEN TOOK A CAB ALL THE WAY TO PARMA THAT DAY. I GUESS THAT SUPRISED HIM A LITTLE. I DON'T WANT TO RAMBLE ON AND ON,SO PLEASE CALL ME OR E-MAIL SO WE CAN TALK. TENA
--MESSAGE FOR JULIE from TENA
<mailto:[email protected]>

I HAVE THE ONLY PICTURES TAKEN AT THE FUNERAL,[JULIE CONTACT ME SO YOU CAN GET COPIES OF THEM]
I WOULD LOVE IT VERY MUCH IF YOU COULD GET ME SOME GOOD ONES OF DAVE. I THINK TO SEE SOME OF HIM AS HE WAS WOULD BE HEALTHIER THAN WHAT I HAVE, ALTHOUGH SOMETHING IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN NOTHING. I WAS SUPRISED TO SEE YOU ON THE BUS BUT IT WAS NO ACCIDENT. I DECIDED TO CATCH THAT ONE INSTEAD OF ANOTHER ONE AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT THERE YOU WERE. I FELT HE WAS THERE THAT MOMENT. I HAD JUST PASSED BY HOLY CROSS JUST DAYS BEFORE THAT AND I THINK I SAW YOUR HUSBAND AND YOUNGER DAUGHTER IN THE WALMART PARKING LOT ON BROOKPARK ROAD. SOMETHING IS REALLY HAPPENING HERE THAT CAN'T BE IGNORED. I WANT TO ALSO TALK TO YOU ABOUT DAWUD, I'VE TALKED TO PEOPLE AND HEARD SOME THINGS THAT MAY SHED SOME LIGHT ON WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM.
WHEN YOU SEEK SOMETHING OUT, IT FALLS INTO YOUR LAP. READ "THE SECRET" BY RHONDA BYRNE, IT MAY OPEN UP SOME DOORS FOR YOU. I HOPE YOUR DOING WELL AND STILL HAVE MY NUMBER, IF NOT E-MAIL ME OR I WILL CALL YOU. I HOPE WE CAN GET TOGETHER SOON AND TALK. I CRY EVERYDAY OVER THIS THING & IT STILL HURTS EVEN AFTER ALL THIS TIME. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, I LOVED HIM TOO, MAYBE TOO MUCH, BUT YOU CAN'T HELP WHO YOU LOVE OR JUST STOP WHEN THEY GO. I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO MOVE, BUT I LOOK BACK AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A BLESSING IF HE HAD CAUSE HE WOULD BE ALIVE AND OUT THERE SOMEWHERE AND I WOULD HAVE THE PLEASURE OF KNOWING HE WOULD FIND ME AGAIN SOMEDAY. I HOPE YOU ARE WELL AND BETTER THAN YOU WERE BEFORE, WE GOTTA STAY STRONG GIRL, GOTTA STAY STRONG. HE WOULD HAVE LOVED TO KNOW THAT WE MET AND ARE IN TOUCH,I WOULD LIKE THAT TO. IT MEANT ALOT TO ME THAT YOU INVITED IN INTO YOUR HOME & YOU DIDN'T REALLY KNOW ME. SEEING HIM LIKE THAT AND HAVING TO DO IT ALONE WAS THE HARDEST THING I EVER DID, BUT NOTHING WOULD HAVE KEPT ME FROM COMING, I EVEN TOOK A CAB ALL THE WAY TO PARMA THAT DAY. I GUESS THAT SUPRISED HIM A LITTLE. I DON'T WANT TO RAMBLE ON AND ON,SO PLEASE CALL ME OR E-MAIL SO WE CAN TALK. TENA
--MESSAGE FOR JULIE from TENA
<mailto:[email protected]>

Happy Birthday Dave, I wanted to be the first, but you know that about me anyway. love ya forever, Tena

Happy Birthday Dave, I wanted to be the first, but you know that about me anyway. love ya forever, Tena (P.S. I got your gift, it's the
most incridible thing and i understand the message from the dream. You still suprise me!)

I'll be in the Carribean on Feb. 22nd, I guess you can just imagine my surprise when I got the award for top sales rep of the year and they said were sending you to the islands on 222,
first thing I thought was that dream I had of you just 2 days before in this exotic wading pool of beautiful blue green water just chillin'
like old times. I couldn't have guessed that it
was about a vacation. Your real good, I gotta hand that to you. This blogged thing is really
different. I never thought we would have to talk this way, not in my wildest dreams. I talked to Cindy, she wasn't the least bit suprised that your still reaching out. Sometimes
when were out together, we will both see 222 and
look at each other and say, he's doing it again,
but I still miss you like crazy. Still trying to
get in touch with jewel, your other sis and I have discovered we have common interest, kami's
so cool. I decided to leave early to go to South
Beach, before my cruise. You would love Miami,
the night life is awesome, all the celebs go to
Prive and the Mansion, I'm taking a friend with
and I got on the list so we will be in the right
spot at the right time with all the a-listers.
All I could think is I wish you were here, it would be just like old times on the weekend at
the Ritz. I miss dancing with you all night til
sunrise. I heard, Pump up the volume and I could
see you dancing on that plate form, just enjoying your tune. God things will never be the
same again, you really knew how to show a girl a
good time and with no kids, we played like kids.
My family never understood why we liked to party
so much, but who cares, some of us just like to
enjoy life. I always had sports cars and money to burn and not much else to worry about. Who says a woman can't be independent, career oriented and as free as a man. Well being my play mate, I guess you understood after all thats
why I went to college, so I didn't have to be a
useless housewife. My mother didn't get it, but
women with kids usually don't. I talked to Jim
from Ledgends, my college friend I introduced
you to before, he was sorry to here what happened, and believe it or not I ran into are
buddy Fadel from my old job that you knew when
we stopped up there, he just came back from a trip to and bought a new car. I'm deciding if I
wanna keep the one you saw me with last or trade
it for a corvette. I really love the new ones &
you know there all I like. Gas in really up there now, but there nothing like driving. I'll
be doing the limo thing in South Beach, were gonna fly non-stop first class, parking and the
night life on Ocean Drive is outrageous in Miami
on the weekends especially and we don't wanna waist any time waiting for anything down there.
I really need a break from work and all the....
Drama in Cleveland. You know what I mean, people
in cleveland are so uptight and crazy, they think that everything is about them. I just stand back and watch the parade of fools, you
remember and know what I mean (worse than the
"Jerry Springer" show & soap opera's) got it!
God I wish we could talk Dave, so much is going
on now, but I'm strong, I can handle it, I'm just sick of idiots and dreary old Cleveland.
I got a million guys after me. But they're just
so boring. You know how picky I am, you gotta
have, "looks" & "a brain", guess by cleveland
standards I set the bar to high. See some things
are still the same. I miss you, you got me, these hill billies are clueless, New Yorkers are
one of a kind, a rare breed. Well, it's been a
slice, I feel you reading over may shoulder again, but that's cool, I get you, the real you.
See you in my dreams or down florida way and we
will toast you at Midnight on your birthday eve.
Love ya forever babe.....Tena (P.S. I know that
you know the lastest. It's NOT RIGHT, but it's
o.k. I've studied, and know the mentality)lower
class activities...who knew!!!)but Dave it's just the usual experience, as you have now seen.

Oh Dave, I forgot to tell you that I found it,
thanks. "you got me". God it was the coolest thing, I was literally in the right place at the right time, but I didn't realize it at first
God I have to remember this blog can be read by others, but who cares, you know I'm very blunt &
speak my mind. This is a great outlet for me, I
was always a great writter, oh hell I'm great at
almost everything, so fab you know, just kidding
I don't have to blow my horn, people can't help
themselves when it comes to us, we naturally
drawn on lookers. That just shows we got it and
they can't help but notice. Well anyway I guess
that was my 2nd gift from you, I love it and it
truely reminds me of you. Chanda was here for the holidays and we talked about the case, you,
other side, it got deep. She's very psychic, almost scary at times and we tried to call Julie. Chanda wanted to talk to her so badly, she was really picking up on some things, but her phone was disconnected. I had the weirdest
feeling, like something was about to give, I had
that feeling again today before I went on line
tonight and I felt a revolation on the horizon.
Something is definately in the air related to you, but my mind & emotions are all over the place right now. These entries are so dated, the
last time julie was on was about july of 2006, so I don't see her visiting this site anytime soon, I guess I'm gonna have to work my magic so
to speak and will her my way. Your good at that
to, being in the right place at the right time,
you new the secret too, so let's work together on this, time to send a sign post her way DAVE.
It's funny how your my Dave and to the family
Dawud. I was thinking about the time you had me
over to meet your mom years ago and I just don't
remember her calling you Dawud, but everything
else is as clear to me as if it were yesterday.
Was that 15 or 19 years ago, unbelievable it's
been that long. Time is standing still for me,
my buds think I'm a vampire. I remember your face when I suggested it in the car that day,
guys get nervous about that & things,don't know
why, your suppose to be the strong & brave ones,
not us girls. My birthdays coming soon, 45 an so
fabulous, guys my age think I'm half their age.
My last admirer was 22, he seemed older like you
back in the day. Female vampires drink the blood
of male virgins so they say, got ya, I could just see that face of yours now, my humor is still there and here we would have been laughing
together, that's when the reality of this all starts to creep in and there it is (the God awful truth and frustration of it all). you were
a live an let live, stand up, kind of guy and I
know you don't hold grudges, I admire that trait
in you, it made you special & rare, I hope I can
take a chapter from your book and be like that.
Gods knows I try but, people make things so much
harder than they have to be. You were easy to be
with, drama free at least with me and that is
something I always needed in my life. It's so easy to misjudge people, others always seem to come to quick & hasty decisions based on Gods knows what. I guess when you seem to have it all
the Green Eyed Monster comes out in other people
and that's to bad it's waisted energy they could be using on self improvement. Who am I telling,
you know that as well as I do, we both lived it
everyday and that's what made us even closer.
I don't understand why people don't think that
men and women can also be friends, besides you
gotta talk sometime and great minds think alike.
So as did we (balance + understanding= perfect union)and the greatest of relationships, so this
tells me our destiny is yet so be fulfilled. We
got a long journey ahead, but I'm still with ya.
Let's do this our way and we will be successful
as always(Remember the door..I needn't say more)
Later, gotta catch some ZZZZZZZ's so get back to
me. ***Personal entry, not intended for comments or inquiries, RESPECT others space as I Do!!**

Oh Dave, I forgot to tell you that I found it,
thanks. "you got me". God it was the coolest thing, I was literally in the right place at the right time, but I didn't realize it at first
God I have to remember this blog can be read by others, but who cares, you know I'm very blunt &
speak my mind. This is a great outlet for me, I
was always a great writter, oh hell I'm great at
almost everything, so fab you know, just kidding
I don't have to blow my horn, people can't help
themselves when it comes to us, we naturally
drawn on lookers. That just shows we got it and
they can't help but notice. Well anyway I guess
that was my 2nd gift from you, I love it and it
truely reminds me of you. Chanda was here for the holidays and we talked about the case, you,
other side, it got deep. She's very psychic, almost scary at times and we tried to call Julie. Chanda wanted to talk to her so badly, she was really picking up on some things, but her phone was disconnected. I had the weirdest
feeling, like something was about to give, I had
that feeling again today before I went on line
tonight and I felt a revolation on the horizon.
Something is definately in the air related to you, but my mind & emotions are all over the place right now. These entries are so dated, the
last time julie was on was about july of 2006, so I don't see her visiting this site anytime soon, I guess I'm gonna have to work my magic so
to speak and will her my way. Your good at that
to, being in the right place at the right time,
you new the secret too, so let's work together on this, time to send a sign post her way DAVE.
It's funny how your my Dave and to the family
Dawud. I was thinking about the time you had me
over to meet your mom years ago and I just don't
remember her calling you Dawud, but everything
else is as clear to me as if it were yesterday.
Was that 15 or 19 years ago, unbelievable it's
been that long. Time is standing still for me,
my buds think I'm a vampire. I remember your face when I suggested it in the car that day,
guys get nervous about that & things,don't know
why, your suppose to be the strong & brave ones,
not us girls. My birthdays coming soon, 45 an so
fabulous, guys my age think I'm half their age.
My last admirer was 22, he seemed older like you
back in the day. Female vampires drink the blood
of male virgins so they say, got ya, I could just see that face of yours now, my humor is still there and here we would have been laughing
together, that's when the reality of this all starts to creep in and there it is (the God awful truth and frustration of it all). you were
a live an let live, stand up, kind of guy and I
know you don't hold grudges, I admire that trait
in you, it made you special & rare, I hope I can
take a chapter from your book and be like that.
Gods knows I try but, people make things so much
harder than they have to be. You were easy to be
with, drama free at least with me and that is
something I always needed in my life. It's so easy to misjudge people, others always seem to come to quick & hasty decisions based on Gods knows what. I guess when you seem to have it all
the Green Eyed Monster comes out in other people
and that's to bad it's waisted energy they could be using on self improvement. Who am I telling,
you know that as well as I do, we both lived it
everyday and that's what made us even closer.
I don't understand why people don't think that
men and women can also be friends, besides you
gotta talk sometime and great minds think alike.
So as did we (balance + understanding= perfect union)and the greatest of relationships, so this
tells me our destiny is yet so be fulfilled. We
got a long journey ahead, but I'm still with ya.
Let's do this our way and we will be successful
as always(Remember the door..I needn't say more)
Later, gotta catch some ZZZZZZZ's so get back to
me. ***Personal entry, not intended for comments or inquiries, RESPECT others space as I Do!!**
--Tena

Still thinking of you as always. still seeing the signs, love ya baby..... T

I can't believe it's been 2 years, as you left us,it seems like yesterday. Time really is standing still for me. The dreams keep coming & are more frequent than every. Perhaps this is you reaching out to me. I'm still in shock, I still cry and there's so much I wish I could share with you. The reality of this situation just seems impossible to come to terms with. I have had to except alot of losses of people I love, but this is pulling away at me from the inside out. I just can't seem to make peace with it and your presense is so strong to me, it
is like nothing I had ever encountered. I keep hearing your name everywhere. Even on American Idol there where 2 David's, it's like something is trying to tell me something, I don't know what specifically but my inner hearing is becoming louder and stronger and I'm painfully aware of it. The dreams are so vivid, I sear I could feel the touch of your hand when you held mine. I awoke absolutely knowing I had experiened a true visitation, the crossover. My
knowledge of this phenominon is only surface, but I want to learn and continue the meetings.
As much as I miss you, this is so real,its like your still here with me. I saw the tatoo of the indian on your arm so vividly, I know it means something. It was so clear, I could see the details and the deep colors, but I'm not sure of the significants. I guess it's about native american side & maybe it was about your spirit
(spiritual side) so now that there's no physical
realm, I have to change my thinking. Oh my God Dave I get it, I hear you right now. This is so
incredible to me and you know I am one who can
relate to this type of understanding. When we stood in the street at night and gazed at the stars and the boucing ball sudden shot up into the air and you said it was a magical place, I didn't understand at first, but now I know you were telling me that in the altered dream state
everything is possible and that's why I can see you, touch you, feel you and it is real. My head
is realing at the possibilities and I look forward to more, so don't stop cause I'm still open to the possibilities and I cherish the moments. My old friend Jimmy called me from out of town. He brought up the time when we all use to go to "The Ritz" on sunday nights. I loved it when you and I danced on the plateforms and
people use to call us malibu Ken & Barbie. I remember the guy at the door who use to say that
the beautiful couple had arrived and made a big
deal out our arrival. God so many memories. Remember that song "coming out of hiding" by Pamela Stanley, Jimmy met her at a business dinner party down south and she remembered doing a show at "The Ritz", she probably remembered us to since we were such a hot duo.
I miss all of that. You really took to all of
my upscale hang outs, you loved the high energy
techno music and chic surroundings. I'm glad we had so many exciting nights together. I never knew to many other guys who could keep up with my Jet setter lifestyle. I've taken a break from
that in the last 2 years, for obvious reasons. I never though I could miss someone and need a guy as much as I need you. I'm so independent & self asured, all I ever really needed was good company and true understanding and you gave me that. I hope you know now just how much being with you meant to me. Sometimes the simplest things a guy does are the biggest of all. Most of all I'm grateful that you loved me the way you did, unconditionally. You never judged me, or miusunderstood me or my intentions. I wish other people had your qualities. People love to be hateful and judgemental, I never understood any of that. I guess that's why we spent so many
hours together and that still wasn't enough. I get so bored with other people. They just are not interesting enough to hold my attention beyond 5 minutes. I need to be around mindful & intelligent people, who are secure and deep, but most of all who really love being themselves
(we demanded that from ourselves)
--Forever your girl, love... Tena

It's memorial day, I'm listening to music and thinking of you. Our song "They don't know" by
Jon B. is play and I think that sums up our relationship in 3 words. Heard "Cherish the day"
by Sade also. God I'm really feeling you this weekend. Playing "You Got Me" by Eryka Badu.
Your sister Julie & I listened to this song the
day I went to her house after the service, so it
reminds me of her also. I pray she's O.k. and
doing better these days. I know she loved you like crazy, we all did. I'm hoping to see or run
into her someday soon, maybe you can help with that. I believe in you as always and just like when you were here, we could accomplish anything
together. What a dynamic duo we were back in the day. I saw a picture of a guy on a website,
he looked so much like you, I did a double take,
"Excuse me miss" is playing now. I will never forget the night we met and you came up to ask me to dance. Boy you were a machine when it came to dancing. Remember "pump up the volume" by M/A/R/R/S, you loved that song, it drove me nuts to hear it, but I danced with you to it anyway just to make you happy. I can't believe that stupid, catchy tune brings a laugh & a tear
to my eye now cause I see you doing that cabbage patch dance to it like you always did.
Ot's funny when you miss someone so badly, you'd
give anything to be with them again and those things that bothered you would be a welcome site
for sore eyes. I take a walk down memory lane nearly everyday now. Can't believe any of this
has happened. I question God now, something I never did and I wonder if he was sleeping that
night. We had the most beautiful day anyone could possibly every dream to have and when you were here that day and after you left, I was on
cloud nine. It was the happiest day of my life, so why would God let this happen to you. I have forgiven alot of things for many people, but this is such a betrayal to me, What kind of God let's this happen. The timing was a slap in the face. I guess we were just too happy and he
had bigger plans. He must have needed an angel,
my old neighbor Debbie said. Remember meeting her when we were all walking to the library on
the 4th of July weekend. I can hardly remember yesterday, yet I remember ever moment I've ever spent with you and all the fun we had. We could be doing laundry or shoveling snow and still have a blast just because we were togeter. That's the way real love is, no drama, noboby leaves. It's always good, all the time. Your the one person I never had a fight or misunder-
standing with. Never an unkind word, thought, or
any hurt. Things were so perfect, we could have it all. It was finally our time and now I have
only memories and a broken heart. I ask God time and again why and unlike other times he has
just left me hanging wondering why about everything. My spiritual persuits have helped to
carry me through this, but it will never be the
same. Sometimes I think there is only one way out, you know what I'm thinking, but I have to ride out this thing called life to it's full conclusion. If it's possible someone can die from a broken heart then it may not be much longer. I can and can not wait, something inside
me has changed. I look in the mirror an see a woman who looks extremely young & beautiful for
her age, yet I feel like there's nothing left for me. I'm so good at keeping up apperances &
you and I both have this thing about having to
look good,it's just who we are. You are my twin
soul, I never had to explain myself to you cause you were me in male form. You can't help who you love, but in our case it was destiny.
If only I saw all this twenty years ago, we could have had a different life path. Maybe you would be here now. Love of my life, my soul mate
your my best friend, now half of me is gone.
Love really does mean never having to say your
sorry. Thanks for never having to say it to me & for showing me how deep love could be.
--Still loving you,,,Tena

Dawud,
Haven't been on lately, but I was thinking of you...how can I not when our daughter has a virtual shrine to you...She just turned 11 Dawud. She looks like a spitting image of you. Sometimes that good..sometimes it just hurts. She is so smart. When I took her to visit Benna and Dominion, her brother and she had a talk about the way you died. She was barely 9 when it happened and I didn't have it in me to tell her the gory details. She asked me to comfirm what he said and cried for a little bit. I am working on a headstone for you. I will try to get it done before the year is out. I know it's only the bodily remains, but still...for the children's sake, I want them to find you easily when they need to. The shrine in her room has a beautiful photo and when I'm in her room cleaning, I start talking to you as if you are right there. I believe you had a psycic connection with many,many people. I have felt you visit... Sandroura has too. I hope very much that you are able to move on and not feel that you must stay behind for those of us still living. Everyone has different ways of dealing with grief. I know- as does Kaila, that when it's our time, we will see you again in the light and splendor of the next phase....I still have love for you, and doubtless always will my dear. I hope you know how much you are still thought of and loved. Kaila thinks of you soooo much. Sometimes i wish you were here for the "dad" stuff. She'll be starting junior high this fall- God knows I'll need a baseball bat to keep 'em away! Dawaud, the pain doesn't dissappear, but it diminishes- especially knowing that this worldy life brought you much pain and suffereing- I trust that you are in a better place now, with no pain and God's love surrounding you.
Forever your infinity times the square root of 2.
Always,
Clare Marie
--Clare
<mailto:[email protected]>

Dawud,
Haven't been on lately, but I was thinking of you...how can I not when our daughter has a virtual shrine to you...She just turned 11 Dawud. She looks like a spitting image of you. Sometimes that good..sometimes it just hurts. She is so smart. When I took her to visit Benna and Dominion, her brother and she had a talk about the way you died. She was barely 9 when it happened and I didn't have it in me to tell her the gory details. She asked me to comfirm what he said and cried for a little bit. I am working on a headstone for you. I will try to get it done before the year is out. I know it's only the bodily remains, but still...for the children's sake, I want them to find you easily when they need to. The shrine in her room has a beautiful photo and when I'm in her room cleaning, I start talking to you as if you are right there. I believe you had a psycic connection with many,many people. I have felt you visit... Sandroura has too. I hope very much that you are able to move on and not feel that you must stay behind for those of us still living. Everyone has different ways of dealing with grief. I know- as does Kaila, that when it's our time, we will see you again in the light and splendor of the next phase....I still have love for you, and doubtless always will my dear. I hope you know how much you are still thought of and loved. Kaila thinks of you soooo much. Sometimes i wish you were here for the "dad" stuff. She'll be starting junior high this fall- God knows I'll need a baseball bat to keep 'em away! Dawaud, the pain doesn't dissappear, but it diminishes- especially knowing that this worldy life brought you much pain and suffereing- I trust that you are in a better place now, with no pain and God's love surrounding you.
Forever your infinity times the square root of 2.
Always,
Clare Marie
--Clare
<mailto:[email protected]>