Rewolucjz
(Revolution)
by: Niebezpiczny Ksiezyc
This
story is written for my two Betas and friends Kero and Kage! All I have to say
for now is: ha! I told you I would write one! And I certainly did!
Moj Nieposluszny Milosc
(My Disobedient Love)
An emptiness eats away at my
soul, now burning with the sick feeling of atrophy. A void is left open in my
heart. My mind, incomplete; my body, unsatisfied. I feel isolated from the
world, isolated from emotions, isolated from my own life. A black cloud has
descended and settled over my now lackluster aura. How can one be happy when
all they feel is pain and disappointment?
I guess that this is my fault. I
tried to change you, and you only grew more adamant to stay the same. I tried
to make you understand, but you were determined to never comprehend. I tried to
claim you as mine, so you punished me for my selfishness. I tried to love you,
yet you only pulled further away from my warm embrace. You left me behind in
the wake of your icy glares and menacing silence. And yet, I love you still
Heero Yuy. So tell me why I can easily dismiss the images of death and
destruction TallGeese and I created, but not you?
Dopiero Wtedy
(Not Until Then)
Something has come to my
attention. Something that I thought I could deny, but no longer ignore.
Loneliness is a feeling I have lived with all of my life. I have learned to
suppress these emotions, and make myself stronger because of this lack of
emotion. Or did I only succeed in making myself slowly grow weak, and more
easily succumb to debilitating emotions?
Sorting through these emotions
is a priority. I thought I had learned to function under all conditions and
circumstances, apparently I have not. I always thought I could organize my
emotions to keep them in check, and yet I find I cannot. But still I try
harder, and for all my added efforts, I have been defeated. So tell me why I
can pop bones back into joints, survive on nothing, even survive the explosion
of Wing Zero, but I cannot seem to survive without Duo Maxwell?
Czy To Jest Komedia?
(Is It a Comedy?)
I always used to laugh and smile
my way through life, but now my smile has vanished from my face. My mind seems
to have forgotten how to smile, my facial muscles can no longer perform the
action. Isn’t it amusing how only one thing can cause all of this pain. Pain,
something to which I have grown
accustomed. Pain in battle, pain in training. But this heart wrenching pain is
something that I cannot bear.
I have tried to give my heart to
you, time and time again. Every time I offer, you doubt my sincerity and even
question my sanity. Perhaps I am crazy, crazy about wanting to tame your wild
heart, and show you love that people only dream about when you cannot truly
ever return these feelings. It is with a heavy heart that I admitted to my
failure long ago, and promised myself that I would move on. So tell me why
everything else was a joke to me; the training, the war, even Deathsycthe, but
not you, Chang Wufei?
(Absolute Control)
I learned long ago to never open
my heart to people. To close my mind, heart,
soul, and body to all who dared to try to break through my icy veneer. I
created these walls to stop emotions from entering or leaving my mind. But as
hard as I tried to maintain this wall, a small crack formed, sending emotions
flying into and out of my mind. I feel as if this crack will expand and explode
in a fury of feelings that have been pent up for so long!
I am not sure what exactly
causes this pain, but I know that it somehow involves you. Is it from this
crack in my shell, or from the fear of rejection and living without your love?
I tried, in vain, to seal that crack, keep everything inside. It seemed to work
until I saw your face again. So tell me how I used to be able to stand only
having a bond with my Gundam, but now can longer stay satisfied and content
without you Trowa Barton?
Bliski
(Intimate)
For what seems to be my entire
life, I have felt incomplete. Searching for something or perhaps someone. And
now that I have found you, I cannot seem to vocalize my feelings. I fear
rejection, I fear making you sad. My silence is slowly tearing and ripping at
my heart. Each thought tugs at my heart, tugs at my soul. I have always been
able to inflict pain on others, but now the tables have turned.
Every night I know that you will
not be mine. Every night the same feeling weighs heavily on my heart. I had to
push these feelings inside. Hide my true self from others. I know that I cannot
risk hurting you. I would die if I knew I endangered your happiness, your
health, your life. So tell me why I can experience a protective feeling for
other people , to a lesser extent, whenever I step into Heavyarms, but when it
comes to you, Quatre Raberba Winner, I never want to let go?
Bezwzgedny Plomien
(Relentless Flame)
How can I go on with life when
everything I have come to believe is wrong? I wanted to avoid war, but was only
thrown deeper into its black trenches of destruction. I wanted to help mankind,
but instead I destroyed people. I want to love you, only I know that you could
never love me back. I feel so alone without you, like my life is not complete.
you were perhaps my greatest passion for living. I was drawn towards your
shining light.
These feelings are wrong, just
like everything else I had believed in. I had to try to get over you. I learned
to deal with these feelings. I learned
to deal with . I had to learn to live my life. I have grown up from the child
you once knew. So tell me how I could have grown so much, learned from my
experiences with Sandrock, yet still grasp tightly to a childish hope that you
are alive and waiting for me Treize Kushrinada?