It has been, Oh.... About a year since I last put in an entry for my WEEKLY log. Oh well. I'll try to sum it up since then.
My Junior year has come and gone. It was my best year of school yet. I learned what I needed to, and my electives were awesome. Journalism was the best, Debate and Mock Trial was awesome as well, and you can't forget good old Art.
Travis and I decided our sophomore year to take journalism together, so we had a class we were both in and would like. We ended up liking it more then we planned though, at least I did. Travis and I were the only guys in the class, which in my book equals awesome. The class itself was alright, but the people I got to meet was the best part. If it weren't for Journalism, I woulnd't have met Christina, and she's an awesome person (Maybe I should say something more outstanding then awesome, but I overuse that word). Katie, Danna, Kelsie, and Kacey (If I'm spelling any of that right), were also some poeple I got to meet. Tiffany, Laura, and Cristin were in the class as well, but I already knew them. There was a foriegn exchange student also, but I can't remember her name. She was a good person also. Mr. Claxton, the teacher, is probably one of the coolest guys I've met. He has this since about him that he knows everthing about everything
Debate and Mock Trial was fun, more fun then I would have been able to have my sophomore year. I was too nervous and drawn back my sophomore year, and getting up in front of people and talking would have kicked my butt. But, I took it my Junior year and had alot of fun. I played the piano half of the time when I was supposed to be practicing though ;p. Also, it showed me I had a competitive side to me. The class was big enough to have two seperate teams, I was on the B-team, which seemed like a put down.
Half of my time is spent at home, 48 percent spent doing something with Travis, and 2 percent spent at church or something involving church. I will get my license and maybe even get a job. I plan on losing some weight. Also, Summer = hot.
-That was under limit.
I know 2 percent isn't enough church time, but I'm not counting the praying and reading the Bible alone. If there was a way to spend more time at church I would.
Wednesday June 2, 2004
I finally passed my driving test. It took two official tries. I think I made a 87%. My first time I made a 40%. A different person judged me this time. I think the woman who judged me the first time didn't like me. That's about all that happend.
Saturday June 5, 2004
I got my schedule for next year. I'll include it is a sec. But from what I see next year will wear me down. I don't have a single gravy train class. I'll have homework daily. Oh well though, I was kind of aiming for something to test me and strengthen me. Here it is:
1st hour- Spanish I
2nd hour- Debate/M Trial
3rd hour-English III-Hum
4th hour- Journalism I NP
5th hour- Algebra II B
6th hour- Chemisty I
7th hour- US history
Okay, here is the explination behind me choosing these classes. I wanted to learn a new language, so that explains Spanish. I was in Debate for a while last year but I switched out because I figured my fear of speaking in front of alot of people would leave me dead before the year was over. But after I left the class, numerous people told me I should have stayed because the class was great. Also I greatly want to overcome this fear of speaking in front of people. I have been writing alot lately so that is why I enrolled in journalism. All the rest of the classes were the classes that you take after the classes I finished last year. As you can see I'm behind in Mathmatics. Next year might not be that bad, who knows...
Friday June 18,2004
I haven't made a log in a while, I know. But even though I'm not exactly busy, I hadn't had the chance untill now. Scroll to the top entry and that pretty much describes what has been going on.
This week not alot happend. But here is what I can remember.And I don't remember a whole lot. The thing that pops out of my head first as important is an email I got. It wasn't very big, but it answered some questions I have been asking myself. I wont get into specifics, but I will say this was an important person, at least to me. I don't even know why, I don't really know this person too much. I guess that is what you call a goal, see, I want to know, I just don't yet.
The second important thing that happend this week is when I failed my driving test with flying colors. I mean I bombed the dang thing. And not only did i make a 49 out of 100, It took me 5 hours to do so. My first trip there, I didn't have my social security card/number. Me and my dad head back home and get it. We then go back and try again. This time we find out that the car I was to take the test in had a broken 3rd brake light. We head back and buy some bulbs to fix it, and do so. We then go to take the test again. This time I do real well, one mistake only. Well two, you see, the stearing wheel totally got stuck when I did the up hill parking part of the test. I turned the engine off while the wheel was sharply turned, this is a big no no I guess. Because the ignition wouldn't budge at all. So we end the test with an incomplete,and I head back to get my dad to fix it. The person giving me the test told me I could not take it in the same car next time. She thought the car just screwed up. It was fixed simply, somehow. Anyways we go get another car and this time my mom has to take me (my dad had to go to work) I take the test. Many things go wrong. She told me to change into the right lane, and then like 10 seconds later she said we were making a left turn (this was on arlington). The problem is that you need to be in the left lane to turn in that direction. And there was like 10 cars to the left of me, there was no chance of a good lane change, so i had to slow to 15 mph and wait untill I could change lanes. This was bad. Also I totally missed turning into the turn lane on the way back, and had to turn from the wrong lane. All in all I have to say that was horrible. I never really was mad at all, not even after we had to go back and forth like 4 times. I was not mad untill she told me I failed. By the way I had never drivin my mom's car before I took that test. I had practiced in my dad's car up untill then.
It's alright though, This weak was good, that one email bumped the hole poo filled weak up past the waste of time marigin all the way to the fairly good area.
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March 14-20 2004
I know this week isn't done yet, but I'll fill it out as I go. Okay, nothing important has happend yet, I went through my daily routine of waking up, getting dressed, then finding boring things to do to pass the time, with small intervals of eating to stay alive.
Today wasn't as boring. I helped my dad build an add-on room at the back of our house. I got a sun burn, and I probably got lung cancer from all the second hand smoke. It was okay though, better then being bored.I can't complain, I actually enjoy doing things with my dad, while I still can. (I have come to the conclusion that I better do things with the people I know while I still can, and I better start new relationships with people while I still can. After all, anything can happen, I could die tommorow, anyone could die.) Taking a break from the seriousness, for some reason I ate like one real meal today, and I wasn't even hungary. Which is weird because I did more physical labor then normal. Labor is a weird word, it sounds like the act of giving birth. Maybe that is spelled differently. All I know is I would rather do what I did today, then do what women do when they give birth. I'm not saying birth is a bad thing, it's just I can imagine the pain. Birth probably has a bigger reward then me building this room though.
Okay the week is done. If you can't tell by what you just read, this weak was a big pile of boredom, with some small spurts of goodness.. Im hoping this upcoming week will be alot better. I know you all will think I am weird by me saying this, but I would have rather been at school then at home bored. I have my reasons, learning isn't exactly a bad thing, and I have someone I'm looking forward to maybe talking to during this next week. I mean, yeah I talk to people normally so its no big thing, there is just a certain person (or two) that I wan't to talk to.
I wish that my family would do something every once in a while. We have never been on a vacation. We hardly go see relatives who live in the same town as us. I don't even know if we have relatives out of state, I'm sure we do but I have never met them, or heard of or from them. Maybe being at home completely relaxed is better then going off to some place I've never been, but I can't say that untill I've done it at least once. I can't really say I have a huge need for a vacation, I don't have alot of things I am forced to do, that I want to get away from for a while. I guess it would be a good thing to actually do something with my whole family though. As it is now we never really even talk. I mean we talk about whatever is happening at the time, but not more then is needed to just get by. I have grown used to not talking to them though, so doing so would seem strange. It sounds like my parents are unloving butt holes, but it is the exact opposite. I just seem to push them away, and I don't feel the need to talk to them. I can't figure out why I don't strive for a better relationship with my parents, they have done all they can for me, even changed their lifestyles totally, just for me. I thank them for that, I don't think I have ever told them though, maybe I should.
Well looks like I'm out of room. I'll work on the next page and link I guess, for the next week. Something really big and good better happen next week to make up for this last week.
**Geez, I can extend one page way the heck down there, I'll just keep this page and keep extending it. It may get hard to find out were you are while reading after a while, but I'll make a new page when it gets too bad.
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March 21-28 2004
Well, seeing as how it is Sunday, not alot has happend. I always thought monday was more like the first of the week,but it isn't so oh well.. I may start putting in a log every day, that is, if alot of things start happening to me. And I'm hoping they do because I'm growing tired of boredom and repetitiveness. Some say that you have to go out and make things happen, these people don't believe in fate. Those who do believe in fate, or destiny, believe that every thing has been planned and what happens was meant to happen. I can't decide what I believe. I would like to believe that it is a mixture of both. That I do have a fate, but I can effect it. I have tried to "effect" what happens to me while back, and if it really worked it is taking a while to do so. But I'd rather it take time then to just not happen (vague, I know). Someday I will write of what I did to "change my fate", but now is not the time. Once I see how it (if it) effected my current status, then I'll write about it.
I don't know why I am writing any of this, I guess maybe so I myself can remember what happens. Also so other people who wish to know me can learn about me through this. Plus it kills boredom fairly well ;p. ~It aint hurtin me writin skills eether, hyyuck~ .. joke, it has helped my writing/typing abilities out some. I enjoy writing down what happens to me, for all to read. I just can't explain why. I do know that maybe one person total has actually read it, but it is possible that more have.
It is Monday, I can't say anything big and/or good has happend yet. If it did I wasn't informed. The day isn't over yet, but what is going to happen while I'm here on the computer basically alone? That is right, nothing. Man, Drew Carry is funny, you should watch it, I haven't seen these episodes, so they are funnier then usuall.
I have been reading up and researching evolution for Biology, for we WERE supposed to have some debate thing between evolutionists,creationists, and pleabianism or something. I was put into the evolutionist group (Mrs. Hollingsworth made us raise are hand to what we believed, and she placed us in the group opposite of that. Well there was one exception, Kassandra was put into the creationist group even though that is what she believed/believes.... man this happend forever ago, why am I putting it in now? * I personally believe in a mixture of creation and evolution. That we were made by God, with the ability to micro-evolve, or evolve without changing into another whole species.) Anyways, we were all supposed to have the debate the Friday before spring break, but Mrs. H wasn't their so I figured it was postponed untill she came back (the Monday after spring break). But guess what, after a week of anticipation, we just took notes in that class. Something was said in this class, I won't say who or what but it made me sad/sick/mad. I will say this, I learned WAY more about somebody and what they do to someone else, then I wanted to know (well at least of this subject). This background and type color are hurting my eyes, maybe I'll change it later.
*Something good but not big happend, I saw someone when I took my mom some place. All I can say is at least this someone waved back (I'll try not to use names alot, just in case people don't want their names all over the net and stuff).*
Nothing really happend on Tuesday. I went to school, and kind of proved a point though. Every time I talk to someone (someone being a certain person), at least 2 other people (people I usually don't know) come and destroy the conversation we were trying to have. By destroy, I mean break up and start their own. I also helped my dad with building that room again.
Nothing big happend on Wednesday. Nothing bad really either, so it just a normal day.
I don't remember how the rest of this week went, I didn't add anything the day it took place.
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March 29- April 3 2004
I hope I got that date right, I'm confused. Never have been good with keeping up with the date. I haven't been on page builder in a while so I will just put what happend from memory. I went to school for a week, but not on Friday (we didn't have school that day). Then I basically lived at Travis' for the weekend.
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April 4-11 2004
On sunday Travis and I attended a new church, I think Kassandra invited him, then he invited me. It was a good church, I did some things I haven't had to do before. Like drink out of this large cup thing after about 20 people already had, I want to call the cup a goblet or something but I don't know. It represented Jesus' blood I think. We also ate some type of bread. That's about all that happend on sunday, well that anyone would want to know about.(I could say more, but it would require use of names.)
It is currently Monday, and I am in computer class, about to do work. I don't expect anything to happen today, It would be great if something good happend. I wish I would start adding peoples names, well, other then Travis, Because then I'd add some more attention grabbing stuff.
Im in first hour on Wednesday now. I woke up late for the third time this week, since the time change. Nothing, as usuall, has happend worth mentioning. I had this long discussion on yahoo with some guy from Ireland, he was my age. We kinda gave each other advice. I kinda look at a couple things differently now. He tried to answer why all girls like "bad boys". And We talked about if Judas went to hell or heaven (I think hell, this question lead to a discussion on fate. You see, Judas was destined to betray Jesus. But he killed himself, which should have earned a trip to hell.)
Well, it is the end of the week..yep.. it's Saturday alright...I spent the night at Travis' house on Thursay night, and we went to U-turn. Then on Friday we did various stuff up untill Travis got a call from his mom, while he was at my house, and she said that their dog had gotten into a fight and was all beat up and stuff. We went to his grand parents house to get the dog and take it to the vet. It was extremely bloody around it's ears and on its head. Then we continued doing whatever to pass the time, while he stayed over at my house.
I say this a lot, but I want something good to happen next week, I know what I WANT to happen, but I'll take what I can get.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------April 12-18 2004
Sunday has been a good day, it isn't over with yet, but so far it has been a pretty good and not that boring. I went to the Church Of Christ again, it was still a good church. I figured, with it being Easter Sunday, that we would have spoken about Jesus a little more. We talked about worldly and Godly sorrow, I think. Then Travis and I (I forgot to say, but Travis and I both went to that church again) went to his grandma's house, ran an errand, came back, went to his house, returned to his grandmother's, watched some kids find hidden eggs, and here we are in the present. I plan on staying here and eating dinner with some of his family, then returning home were I will execute my nightly rituals, which contrary to what you may think does not mean I will sacrifice numerous small animals, it means I will get cleaned up, read the Bible (which by the way I am reading Job ), maybe listen to a little music, then lay in silence while I look back on the day I've had, also think of what I want to do in the days to come. I then pray before I go to bed (I usually mix the praying with the looking back on the day). Usually I think about this girl, no young lady, I have liked for a while, not in a sick way either, I usually think of what I want to say to her (though it is usless, for she has a boyfriend, and I never have the chance to talk to her.)
As usuall nothing has happend on Monday. Well some stuff happend but nothing anyone but I would want to know.
Today was a regular day, nothing really happend until the end of the day, worth mentioning anyways. No, you know what, today was a bad day, a really bad day. Other then the fact that I am alive, there was no reason to say today was even a normal day. I made plans to go to Travis' house after school, and Travis needed to take another friend home as well. So after school Travis, Crew, and I went to our lockers and then headed towards Travis' truck. (before I continue this story, I will tell you something that may give you a little insight, the young lady whom I spoke of on this weeks sunday log, she has been acting a little down lately, I don't even know how I noticed for I only have one class with her <and I dont look back at her much seeing as how both she and her boyfriend sit back there>. I guess it is when I see her in the halls when I walk to class, usually she is all happy and talking to someone, but lately she has been mostly alone and a little sad looking.) -~- Back to what happend today. As we walked down the hall to leave, I looked in the general direction of her locker, which she was standing by, and by herself (which is a rarity, I always want to talk to her but she is talking to someone else.) So since she wasn't already in a discussion I decided to say something. I hate how I started talking to her, but oh well (I never said hello or anything). I just said " what is the matter" or "what is wrong" or something like that. She replied " lots of things". <these quotes arent perfect, it probably varied> I, wanting to know more, asked her to give me one example. So she did. I wasn't expecting the answer I got. She replied "well, one of my friends died". I must be weird or something, because I haven't been around death enough times to know how to deal with it.. The last death I know of, between me or my friends (that I was told of) was my uncle, I knew him, I had been around him plenty when I was young. But I never full out cried, and I never was fully saddend. I talked to him though, of course without a reply, but I still told him through prayer what I wanted to say to him (maybe that lessend the saddness). I hope she could tell that I actually was sorry and cared. I searched for a non-fake sounding way to say it. She started to vear off the course I was headed, so I had to say sorry combined with bye, which added tremendously to the fake sounding-ness. I want to call her and tell her without a doubt that I am truthfully sorry, the problem is I dont know her number. Travis does have her number but that would be wrong to use, since it wasnt given to me. I will try to tell her sometime at school or something, when there aren't lots of people around, and I have the chance to actually say anything to her.
--another reason that today sucked is Travis must be mad at me or something, we argued alot today.
----> excuse my french, but judging by what I said in the previous stories, I am an ass.
Nothing happend on Wednesday that can compare with the preceding day.
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April 19-25 2004
Church went well, even better then normal you could say. This time I felt like I belonged there (not saying I didn't before, but I felt MORE like I belonged there). Travis and I were asked to join some people seated up front. Usually we walk in and find a place to sit with no one already sitting there. Which we did do, but Kassandra greeted us and asked if we wanted to sit up front with them. (At least I THINK she asked us both, she could have just been asking Travis. I tagged along none the less.)
After church we stayed and talked for a while, which I like doing more then just leaving. Then we left and got a Whopper from Burger King. And as usuall, we went to his house for a while, and then ate dinner at his grandparent's house. I took some pictures while at his grand parent's house, check out my photos page to see them.*I'm going to add a personal note now: I am getting so tired of not saying anything to this girl that I like (which, due to some thinking I have done, I just want to be friends with..... I just see a friendship lasting longer and being worth more.) I don't say anything to her, just to see if she will say something to me, which doesn't happen. So I have decided that I will start talking to her. Im going to need some kind of self asteem boost before this can happen. I just need to start thinking more of my self. I just think I'm not worth talking to or something. Or at least, I think she does not want to talk to me, I have some reasons to believe this is true. #1 she doesn't talk to me unless I start the talking. #2 the way she greets me (only after I say hello) doesnt make me think she wants to greet me ( she sounds half asleep or mad or something). I know I put way too much thought into this, but that is just the way I am.
It's Wednesday and not alot has happend. I passed up a couple of chances to make someone happy but oh well, I've been going through this giving up phase for a while now. I need more courage or something....
Yep, well.... I chose a good time to give up I guess. There was a small chance, but that chance has been destroyed. I haven't necessarily given up, just held back some stuff and decided to wait even longer then I have been. I hope this turns out well. <This must be making you, whoever you are who is reading this, very mad and confused. This is the most vague I have been about things..
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April 26-whatever date it will be in seven days. 2004
Ok, you can guess what happend Sunday. And you would have an 80% chance of being right if you have read previous Sunday logs. We (Travis and I) didn't get to sit in the front, I mean we could have but from the looks of it there were about 2 people to many as it was. Afterwards we were invited to some lunch thing. We didn't have perfect instructions on how to get to it though (all I remember is "it is four blocks that way"). It seems the whole church went their, except us that is. Even though we didn't know how to get there, we could have walked with a group of people if we wanted.Travis decided he would rather go get a burger. Oh yeah, and I had to head back home to move this huge desk to our front yard to sell. Travis helped, but dang man, that thing was heavy on my side, I bruised my shin area, it was bad : (
Okay, when I say I want something big to happen, I mean I want something big AND GOOD to happen. I say this because something big did happen, but it totally lacks the quality of being good. My grandmother on my dad's side died around 1:00 A.M. in the morning on Friday. I was laying in bed half asleep, and the phone started ringing. I thought I was the only one up so I headed to our front room to answer it. On my way I asked if anyone wanted me to answer it (to see if anyone was even up), and my mom said yes. So I did so. It was my aunt Linda, she talked as if she had been crying. She thought I was my dad for a second, because she said "Mike?" and I said "No it's Brandon." Then she said "let me speak to your father (or Mike or some descriptive word meaning my dad)." So I went to my parents room, it was dark so I couldn't really see. I handed the phone to who I thought was my dad ( I know the sides they sleep on). But it was my mom, I don't know what Linda said to my mom but it was one sentence, and then my mom woke up my dad and gave him the phone. My dad got out of bed and went to our kitchen, and then the porch, to talk. I knew what is was that Linda called for. Well, I knew it involved my grand mother and a hospital. You see, Flo (aka my grandma) has been to the hospital alot lately due to not being able to breath (that is what smoking does to you). She got better the other times, but this time, it wasn't so. I stayed up until like 4:00 in the morning watching adult swim on cartoon network (the name is mis-leading, adult swim is a block of funny cartoons, and some anime stuff thrown in also.) I know watching funny cartoons for a while doesn't sound like the normal thing to do when you find out some one has just died, but I'm not normal. And funny helps sadness.
I stayed home the next day, due to my lack of sleep. Later in the day I helped my dad make a song for his mother. A song that will be played at the funeral. I played the keyboard, he played the guitar. We re-made the song like 5 times. It consists of 3 chords, and variations of those chords ( I may be spelling chords wrong, oh well)
I have tried a few times to come up with songs that don't sound like bull hickie. I haven't made words for them yet, but I have two music only songs I could make right now. I always thought songs were made of numerous different notes and chords and patterns, but all you really need for a song is a pattern of chords for a chorus and another set for the rest of the song.... oh and lyrics if you want.. (I mess aroung with the keyboard or guitar and try to express feelings with music. It's weird but it sometimes works. I dont know how to read sheet music but I know how to play, and the names of most chords.... well major chords. Like, I can play a,b,c,d,e,f,g, and minor and sharps of those, but sheet music looks imposible.) I was supposed to go to this U-turn get together thing that someone invited me to (as you probably know by now I try not to include names). But I didn't... I hope the person who invited me isn't mad.
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May 2-8 2004
Church was attended, as normal. And again the people sitting around Travis and I didn't seem to like the fact that we don't sing. I really don't think they dis-like that we don't, but they always say something hinting us to do so. I learned more on this trip to church than any other to this church before. I understood the preacher(or whatever they call him at that church) more then the others. Don't get me wrong, I learned from the others also, but this time I just followed better. Ohhhh... I think I forgot to say that the person who speaks seems to change alot at this church......I think Travis and I are going to another church next Sunday. The church that had that U-turn get together thing. Before Travis and I were ever invited to any church, we decided we would try all the churches around here out and attend the one that best fits what we believe and such. In other words the church we like the most and felt most welcomed and comfortable. The one we have been going to is great, but if we didn't try others out, we wouldn't have achieved our initial goal. I don't know, maybe it is a wrong choice to just change churches randomly, especially when we have found a good one already. The only thing I don't like about this one is sometimes you get someone who sings real loud like sitting behind you, and a majority of what goes on there is singing.
I stayed home again on Monday. I am somewhat sick, don't know with what though. It started out with my throat hurting, and draining and stuff. Now it seems like a cold. I hope I didn't infect church when I drank that grape juice. I was the second person to drink out of the cup..... Man that would be bad if the entire church got sick...
I spent the majority of my day playing guitar, and keyboard. I ate more then normal also, which is weird because I cant really taste anything. Maybe I am just trying really hard TO taste. The funeral is tomorrow so I won't be at school then either. I wanted to go to school to explain why I didn't go to U-turn last Friday. I SO have to take those retarded tests at the end of the year now ( I missed over the limit of days you can miss to not have to take them). I wish school was a year round thing. This summer won't be as boring as the preceding summers, but there are some people I like talking to, or want to talk to, that I won't see outside of school. Oh well I guess, summer always goes by in what seems like a week. This is exremely weird, becuase while I am enduring the torture of an extremely boring summer, it seems like I should have died of old age. But by the end of it, I wonder what happend from the last day of the preceding school year up untill the first day of the next. This will probably be a big summer for most people in my class. What with all the new drivers licenses and jobs and dating and not being bored. I can see myself doing most of that, except the dating thing. For some reason I repell the opposite sex like .... well like a Brandon Frye repells females. Maybe I just don't talk to them enough. I mean a person like me can't talk about random things too well, with a female at least. Travis explained it well yesterday, I didn't agree untill now. He said that we keep ourselves from social situations due to the fear of being shunned, or disliked( or something to that effect). I will add a good little tid bit of information to think about, so just incase some random person reads this, and doesn't kill themselves because of pure boredom by the time they read what I currently typing, they can see life with a slightly brighter perspective.
*Don't hold back. Don't keep what you want to say to someone inside. life is too short, and the furture is too unknown to not do what you feel you should.*
Now, of corse if you are an immoral person, I strongly urge you to not follow my words. Because you will want to do something wrong, or something to harm someone. But if you are a nice person with good morals, then you should do nothing other then what you feel you should. For what you feel is most likely the right thing. I apologize for being so confusing with how I put this. Here is the simplified version:
*If it won't harm someone or something, do what you feel you should*
Oh, and don't put too much emphasis on something you don't know to be true. In other words don't read into things and get your feelings hurt. Unless someone comes out and says something mean, they probably aren't thinking something mean.
I stayed over at Travis' on Thursday. We went to the last U-turn untill next school year. There was a concert, if you could call it that, by Soul Fire. I dont know if 5 songs counts as a concert, but it was pretty good anyways. I couldn't distinguish the different chords though; they had their distortion way to high.
Travis then stayed over at my house on Friday, and most of Saturday. We mostly just played computer games. You know, I don't see how 24 hours passed, because we really didn't do much. Of corse we did our normal talking, which is always good. He left at around 9:00 pm on Saturday. Like 10 minutes after he left, I got on yahoo, and something out of the ordinary had happend. I got an E-mail from Tisha (sorry if you didn't want your name on here). It was directed to Travis, but she didn't know his address or forgot it or something. It seemed to be more directed half to Travis, and half to me. The entirety of it was to answer some of our questions, but I bet it helped her to get some things off her chest( I need a new saying for that). I won't say anything she wouldn't want me to say; but, the first half of it answered Travis' question on why girls like druggies, or bad boys. The second half answered my question of what love is. She read our sites, which I think is cool. I didn't expect that anyone would waste their time reading something I made. And I really didn't expect to get anything I have been asking to be answerd. I thank her for that. I see her view on these things now, but I dont think she sees ours. *If she wanted to know my view she would have asked* I forwarded it to Travis and.....
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May 9-15 2004
It's Sunday once again, and guess what I did. I got up and got ready for Sunday services at the Church of Christ. Travis came by to pick me up, and we sat in my room and talked. I could kind of tell he had read the email from Tisha, because , I don't know, he had this weird smirk on his face, as did I. So I asked if he got on the internet the previous night, and he said yes. Then I asked if he checked his mail, he said yes. He knew were I was going with all this. We started talking about it. He seemed kind of upset about it, or at least excited. I guess he thought it was sent in order to correct us on something. It did seem like she started it out with a small bit of anger. Im still glad to have recieved it though.
May 12-2004 is a day I will do my best to put to memory. It is the day I got baptised. There of course is a story to this. The story is as follows:
I have been wanting to get baptized for a while, I just didn't know how to go about doing so. My parents stopped going to church (we went to a Baptist church one block away from us), which I did also.(I can't remember why we quit). Travis got me back into going to church. Though I had stopped going to church, that didn't mean I wasn't a Christian and didn't want to. We decided to try out all the churches around here and then repeatedly attend the one we liked, felt most comfortable in, and had the same beliefs with. We tried a couple before we tried the Church of Christ. It was a good church, the people are nice and I believe in the same things. So we continued attending the Church of Christ.On Monday I went to my great grand-parents house and stayed on their porch and talk to my great-grandfather. We talked about numerous things, things I was glad to learn from him. We came around to talking about were I attended church, and about religion in general. He goes to the Southwest Church of Christ, so he knows the beliefs well (he has been going for a long time). I told him were I had been going to church, and he asked me if I were a member. I said "I don't know, how do you become a member?" I can't remember the exact wording or order, but I'll try to stay close to the full truth. He said I had to talk to someone who has attended that church for while and talk about the beliefs and what not. Somehow we started talking about if I had been baptized. I hadn't, and he said that if I had been taking place in the "last supper" thing, I was doing wrong, because you aren't supposed to unless you are baptised. This made me feel pretty bad, and it pushed me to getting baptized as soon as possible. Plus you have all your normal reasons to get baptized, like getting saved and forgiven and not burning in hell :p. So I wondered who I would talk to at the church. I didn't come up with a specific name but I knew I would.
Tuesday, in seventh hour biology (which I share with two people.. It would be four people but the other two haven't been going.. who go to the Church of Christ) the class had to go outside and write a story/poem. Near the end of class Mrs. H yelled it's time to go in. So the people piled in through the doors. I held the door open for the majority of the class (I wasn't the first to the door so I couldn't for all) The whole class was in so I was going to head in also, but the Kassandra came out to get something or other. I decided this would be the perfect chance for me to find out more about getting baptized (she and Tisha are the two people who attend the church). While holding the door for her I said "I have a question". And she was there to answer so I asked " How would I go about getting baptized". She replied with a mixture of things, including the following: I could talk to her father about it, I could talk to Tisha's uncle about it, and some other things. Once in class and seated, Kassandra who sits on the opposite side of the room came over to the side that I and Tisha sit on to tell/ask Tisha some question about what I asked her. For some reason, Tisha was smiling when she heard I wanted to be baptized (laughing at me or happy for me I don't know. But I don't think she is one to laugh at someone, at least not for wanting to be baptized). Kassandra asked if her uncle would be in town, and the answer was something involving a no. Kassandra also said something like I could speak with her father, and it would be cool because her father is preaching this next Sunday. After that Kassandra went to her seat and Tisha came back to where I sit and gave me a piece of paper with her number on it. I am fairly sure I remember her words accurately, and here they are : "You can call me if you have any questions about being baptised...... or if you want to talk". This was very kind of her, I thanked her, but I don't see this happening, and only because I don't figure she really wants me to call her. I've never included this, and I am not sure I should, but I have liked Tisha for a while (this "liking" has sort of changed. It used to be that I wanted to get to know her and maybe sooner or later date her. But now it is just a feeling that I think she is a great person, and I wouldn't mind getting to know her or befriend her. The Idea of dating has lost its glory in my mind. I mean it wouldn't be bad but I have lost any hope that there is even a small chance or that I even want to. Also dating can screw over a friendship and I don't want that to happen. Also <I will say this in a way only she will understand> I don't want to stop or be in the way of a "plan" she has to help someone).
I went home, called Travis and talked to him for a while. He had been mad at me for some reason or another and I think this was the day I found out why. He's not mad anymore I guess. It was around 9:00 P.M. and I was reading the Bible. The phone rang and I figured it was for my sister, but I heard footsteps coming from down my hall and I knew it was for me. I thought it was Travis. But, it was Kassandra's father (isn't Kassandra a cool name? If you think about it all names are cool. And weird, but still cool) He basically said he knew I wanted to be baptised and asked if I wanted to go to his house the next day (Wednesday) to read the Bible. I sure did, and that is what I said. I took down the instructions to his house, which were confusing, but oh well. I didn't think about it while on the phone, but it would have been weird to go there alone, at least for a while. Plus both my parents were running on empty (their cars). So, naturally I called and asked Travis if he would drive/come with me. He knew why I was calling because they had called him to get my number. He speedily agreed to do so. I went through the normal day routine of going to school and all that good stuff. At lunch I went with Travis somewere, then when we got back, as we were entering the doors, Stacy and Priscilla came out. They were heading to the music room to watch some people wrestle. They asked if we wanted to come. Travis declined but I agreed.(I knew some of the guys, and I don't mind, in other words like to, do things with Stacy. Plus I knew there was a real piano in there and I don't get to play a real piano much (I only play our keyboard)). Things happend and then Stacy and I headed back to the main building, then to class( the same class) and talked. As all this was going on, Travis, as far as he told me, was talking to Kassandra and she invited him to come to the Bible study also. Which is great because someone was going to have to ask.
After school Travis came over to my house untill the appointed date of 5:30. When 5:20 rolled around, we left for Kassandra's house. I was pretty nervous. I mean think about it. I knew I was about to be asked questions, I knew I would be in a attractive young ladie's house, I knew I was about to talk about some personal stuff about me and my beliefs. We pulled up next to their garage and headed toward the front door. Travis rang the door bell and Kassandra said "Come in". Which we did. She was in their front hall like area holding a dress in a cover. She said they had just gotten back. Which made me feel bad because I figured they hadn't eaten anything, or got un or re dressed yet. We made our way to their kitchen. Kendall (her father) Kassandra Travis and I sat at their dining table. He asked Both Travis and I questions about were when and how we have been going to church as he passed us these pamphlet dillies. There was alot of questions on that paper, and guess what, we read an answerd each. Also we read verses when it said to. It went over the basics of Christianity. I knew about most of it. But I wasn't really against learning. I was hot were I sat, nervousness does that to you. Travis sat to the right, Kendall sat to the left, and Kassandra in front of me. She said she was cold ( she was sitting under the vent) I was hot so I asked if she wanted to trade spots. After we answered all the questions, we all stood and talked about when I would be baptised. He said he could do it that night, more like 30 minutes from then, before 7:00 P.M. when people started coming for Wednesday services. We talked about it and I basically had the choice of before or after church. I chose before. We headed back to my place for a change of clothes. I only have like one pair of shorts, so I wore them (plus a T-shirt). This is weird to me because I'm so used to wearing blue jeans and a dress like shirt. My mother and sister decided to come. Travis and I headed off before my mother, she had to get dressed. We got there around 7:00, but the doors were locked, Kassandra or her family hadn't shown up yet. My mother pulled up, and we all waited. Tina and Schyler pulled up and greeted Travis and I. Then Kassandra and her family pulled up. I think Tisha came with them becuase, well she was there and I didn't see her get out with Tina or Schyler. So we entered the church, Tisha said something like she wanted to stay outside, so I said "you can if you want" or something like that. I'm not so sure what that meant but oh well. I didn't keep track of anyone besides myself, Travis, and Kassandra's father. But somehow we all got to the back were the water was. Kendall went in first, and said something that let me know it was extremely cold. Travis Kendall and I were the only males there. I didn't really expect anyone to be there except Kassandra's family, My family, and Travis. But I didn't mind there being more people. Every one was lined up against the wall of this small room which was taken up halfway with the water. I walked in and it, as he said, was extremely cold. I made my way towards the middle of the water, were Kendall was and stood next to him. I had to take my glasses off so I couldn't really focus on anything but him or myself. He told me to keep my lower leg straight and bend my knees when the time came. He started talking about some things that lead to me proclaiming Jesus the son of God. And then I leaned me back into that really cold water, everyone watching. I don't recall how I got out of the water, but I did, and I made my way across and down the cement steps to the dressing room/ hot water heater room. Travis stayed back there next to the hall to the water and we talked while I got dressed. Everyone else made it back to the building's main room. I could hear laughter of young ladies alot while getting dressed. It took me a while but I managed to get dressed. I talked to Travis and Kendall a while, while still in the back room, while putting all my newly made wet clothes into a trash bag. I walked out while saying something to Travis.The room was silent, He said all the people looked at me and then away ( I didn't notice) I had been smilling for a while, and would continue to smile alot throughout the night. More people had, and continued to show up. I sat in front for a while, but then my mom beckend me to the middle were she sat.(near Kassandra, Tisha, Tina, and Schyler) She told me to sit with her, I agreed even though I usually sit in front, or near it. Right before church started my mother and sister moved to the back, and sometime during the singing left. I noticed this when I had to go to the bathroom and spit out my gum, which had turned to powder.
At the end of church Kendall went to the front to announce my baptism. I remember raising and waiving my hand, I don't remember applause though. Then church was over, and people made their way out. I stood were I was sitting and talked to Travis Kassandra and Tisha's cousin. Loads of people intoduced themselves to me. The only name I remember is Carl.... I am bad with names. I shook maybe 10 peoples hand and intoduced myself. Travis and I were invited to a Bible study on Thursday at a new acquaintence's house named Julia. Also, I put this to memory, because it was different then the rest of the people who congratulated me on my baptism. Tisha's step mother shook my hand/hugged me. She also said something about her brother (Tisha's uncle) and how he makes certificates of baptism. I want one of those by the way. I remember that, partially becuase of who it was, and mainly because it was the only hug I got. I remained in place and talked. Tisha came back to where we were standing and invited us to eat at Taco Bell. Most of the people left, and I made my way outside. I shook Kendall's hand and thanked him for everything. He introduced me to a guy, who I think he was related to, who had a cool name, which started with a "V" . We all got in our rides and left. I called my mom and asked her were she went, she explained. I also said I was going to Taco Bell. I was planning on not eating and going just to talk, mainly because I was broke. But Travis offered to by me something. My mom, still on the phone, said that she would deduct it from the price of this MP3 player we were selling him. We got there and talked to a person from church, he was standing outside waiting for someone. Travis ordered two burritos, and while we were waiting, Tisha, the guy from church, and 2 people I didn't know walked in. They didn't even notice us untill 2 feet from us. We all ended up sitting at a circular table in the corner. Tisha ended up having to sit next to me. I kind of felt bad because I felt she didn't want to. Alot of random talking went on, and both Travis and I finished our burritos. We left. I had maybe said one thing. Travis and I went back to my house were we talked for what seemed an hour, and he bought that MP3 player. It was 10:00 P.M. when he left. I washed up and went to sleep a happy, saved, baptised young man.
Now, if that wasnt the most descriptive thing you have read, then you read alot. Here is the shortend version.
I went to Kassandra's house were we all read the Bible somewhat. I then went to church and got baptised. I met alot of people, and afterwards went to Taco Bell. Were I probably should have had a good time. But just thought back on what had happend.
On Sunday, Travis and I did the usuall. But it ended up with a whole lot of unusuall. I'm not saying this is bad. For the first time in a long time something (or multiple somethings) both GOOD and DIFFERENT happend. Overall I would say that the entirety of last week and the first day of this week has been one of the best weeks ever. If not the best. The only thing I don't like about last week, is that it happend at the end of the school year. I bet I would have had a better sophomore year if I had been baptized earlier. I am fine with the way things are though. I will explain what happend on Sunday some more now. This was a big day for Travis. It is the day he got baptized. He had been before, but it was in a Church of God, which appearntly isn't the same as a baptism in a Church of Christ. We got to Sunday morning church fairly early, as we usually do. Kendall came our way to greet us, as did Vaiden (maybe mis-spelled that). Travis asked Kendall if he should be baptised into the Church of Christ. Kendall said yes, along with an explination of why he didn't say so earlier. He also said he could do it later that day. After church, which Kendall lead, Kassandra's mother invited us over to eat lunch with them. I, as well as Travis, said "Sure". We then headed to the truck. But we discussed the matter of when lunch was. We didn't know so we headed back to ask when they were having lunch. They were having it immediately after Church, so we went straight to their house. We waited in the Living room for a while (when I say we I mean Travis and I). Kassandra's mother was in the Kitchen, which is somewhat visible from the living room. I asked Travis if he wanted to go ask if she wanted help. And so we did. Then the time to actually eat rolled around, and so we did. The food was great. I don't remember the last time I have seen such an elaborate lunch. It was Mexican food, which isn't that bad to begin with. I liked the fact that there was alot of cheese. Yep cheese is good. I think some people are upset over that one time that Travis and I ate at Burger King instead of a get together the people at church had. The main topic of discussion was how people talk in different places. We basically talked about that for over an hour. I was having trouble following what was being said becuase I had 3 different discussions to listen to. I had the discussion going on at the table after everyone had finished eating, the discussion going on in the kitchen between Kassandra and her mother, and the discussion going on in my own head about things that were going on. I migrated to the living room somehow and some people came along. Some more talking happend and then .....wait I'll tell you all who was at lunch : Me, Travis, Kassandra, Kendall, Jason, I can't recall Kassanda's mother's full name but Kat is somewhere in there, Vaiden, Julia, and Clint I think his name is. There was also another guy who looked like a relative of Kassandra but I don't know his name. Okay, then Jason, Travis, Julia, Clint and I went to Jason's house which he is fixing up. It was bigger then my house, and had a huge back yard. But it, of corse wasn't in as good of shape yet. More stuff happend and then we ended up at Church again, or should I say the building in which Church is held... We pulled up with "Freak Out" playing loudly, which would have been funny if anyone could've heard it. Most of the things that happend when I got baptized happend when Travis did. Even the people who congratulated me congratulated him. The only differences were as follows: it was he not I. We didn't go to Taco Bell. His parent/parents and some friends of Kassandra's weren't there. And his was in the evening, mine was more near the night, or later in the day. Oh and his was on Sunday and mine on Wednesday. I'll say it again, the last 8 days have been great.
May 23-28 2004
Church as usuall. Only thing different is I sat in back. I don't think anyone knew I or Travis were even there. We were almost the first to leave since we were already in the back.I can't remember everything that happend. Here is what I remember. We got on Yahoo chat and debated in some religious chat rooms. Ate at Subway and got ripped off. You see, Travis got a foot long and it cost the same as my six incher. I made a new cartoon (I now have made a total of three, look at the main page for the newest one). Somehow most of the day passed. Then we ate some more. Then we went to my house for a bit. Then we played an online army type game untill 2 o'clock in the morning of the next day.
-personal note- I need to get a job. I need more, heck I need any, money. Also I bet it will get rid of some boredom. I also need to re-take the driver's test.
It is next week, but I feel I didn't add enough for last week. Long story short, I'm still alive, and I helped a lost dog find it's home. Seriously, I did.