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My Letter to Santa

The biography of Rocker “Mike” McDevitt

Dear Santa,

            I would like to take this time to introduce to you a boy named Mike McDevitt.  You may know him as The Rocker, El Rockador, or The Rocking One.  He has been a very good boy this year and doesn’t want much for Christmas.  In fact, the only thing he wants is a beard.  Ever since the day little Mikey was born, that is all he has wanted.  Night after fruitless night he has prayed to the gods of facial hair, but to no avail.  It seems as though a higher power is needed.  Which is why I am writing to you.  I figured that if you can do all the things that you do, a beard for a young boy would not be too much trouble.  He does not need a very extravagant beard, not one made of gold or rubies, just regular human hair.  It doesn’t even need to be human hair.  Horse hair, rat hair, whatever you could find around the house would be O.K.  Fetal tissue, rotting hog bellies, you don’t need to think that you must be constrained to hair.  No, no, I’m not trying to inconvenience you.  I just want the boy to be happy on Christmas morning.  See what you can do.  If the beard thing is too hard, weird, whatever, just give him some pokémon undies or a Playstation 2 and Tekken Tag.  He’s not too hard to please.  Thanks for your consideration.    

                                                                                                Your confidant,

                                                                                                Peg McDevitt