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Will Ferrell as a soccerball coach to young'uns. Ah, sounds like a joyful premise but not even Mr Comedy Improvisation himself can act as the Messiah to such a flimsy script from the writers of the delightfully awful Space Jam - the whole escapade could have simply been so much funnier. The shoddiness of the film though is epitomised with the direction from Jesse Dylan. Was he drugged during production? How hard is it to create a cohesive entity about a vitamin store worker son versus his competitive father set against the backdrop of rival football teams (Tigers v. Gladiators respectively)? Dylan has admitted how he adores kids (in a non-paedophilic sense), but why would anyone dedicate more time to these novice actors when you have a restricted-to-the-written-word Ron Burgundy locked in a glass cage of brewed up one-liners just ready to explode?
Right, enough of the frustrating never-to-be-answered questions and on with some (relatively) serious criticism about a film which most people gloss over when looking at Ferrell's career in order to protect the credibility of Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Concisely put though, the film is certainly not a complete turkey, just an effort all parties could have done without on their respective C.V.s. Take Robert Duvall (Buck) for example, a fine upstanding actor from the magical New Hollywood generation who probably came aboard the project hoping for gags galore. Sympathy goes out for how constrained the aging actor has to play his ultra fierce father-figure (to both Ferrell's naïve drip and the ferocious schoolboy football team he successfully coaches) - we understand that he has 'born-winner' instilled in his make-up but was he ever that spiteful to Ferrell's Phillie-Boy decades before? Some may also notice that the presence of real-life Superbowl winning coach Mike "Juicebox" Ditka undermines Buck's iniquity - anyone would be annoyed if your neighbour decided to dump his leaves on your property, producing strident noise in the process. Returning the unwanted 'gifts' back over the fence is an understandable move from Buck and makes the supposedly heroic Ditka look like a buffoon. The screenwriters obviously wanted to portray how aggressive the militaristic ("I'm not coaching soccer! I'm building men!") characters were but they miss the mark.
Subplots involving Phil's caffeine addiction, his fretting wife and son, two Italian wunderkinds, and the importance of a family heirloom (a football once kicked by Pele) feed a bloated mid-section which never seems to guide us any closer to the predictable conclusion. However, even though Ferrell is only jogging through the motions instead of the usual quick-witted dash we are used to, the one-liners still appear in an inconsistent capacity. His "tornado of anger" or Duvall's "tomatoe, tomato" are a couple of gags from the sparse assortment which do enough to rescue the film.
The extras
The extensive outtakes, alternate takes and deleted scenes are utterly hilarious. In one outtake, as Ferrell is leading a Tiger team-talk, police sirens are heard in the surrounding area, "Shit! The cops!" the funnyman exclaims with perfect timing. "From Rome to Hollywood" details how the Italian prodigies were picked from the wilderness and placed in a Hollywood picture in a nice intimate package. "Behind the Net: Making Of" teaches us that the SNL alumnus used to play soccer as a kid and Ditka states that the whole mega competitive parents aspect of the plot is very American. "Kickin' It With the Kids" takes a closer look at the child actors used in the film in a succinct but charming manner. "Soccer Camp" again utilises the kiddies and illustrates what went on in the two week training/learning period they had in trying to master the beautiful game with coach, Dan Metcalfe. With no commentary or meaty documentary the DVD doesn't have much depth but the three featurettes and the choice of different reels that didn't make the film are worth the watch, especially for a budget standard edition.
The summary
The movie equivalent of letting Michael Schumacher compete in a Formula One race driving only a Nissan Micra. Even Will Ferrell needs ammunition to deliver frustrating and cliché comedy.
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