Disclaimer: This story is a companion piece my previous companion 
piece Roday be Sweet(still with me?) to BratKatze's wonderful 
Today, Yesterday, My Thomas and Wishes.  It takes place in the 
same universe, and is based on events she dreamed of and wrote in 
her stories.  It is absolutely necessary to read them first to 
understand what's going on here.  This story is set the morning after 
Today be Sweet.

BratKatze has generously allowed me to play in her sandbox.  
Thanks, BK. I owe you one.

Once again the title is from arachne  - a whole poem this time(and it 
*still* seems to fit so well with BK's early titles!)  The poem is 
reporduced at the end, and even for you non-poetry-readers I 
recommend this one. We could almost adopt it as the definitive C/P 
angst poem <bg>.

Paramount: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Owns all, does nothing with it. Me 
make money out of this?  No way.

=================
What Is Tomorrow?
by whitecrow
June 1998
=================

On the edge of surfacing from sleep Chakotay couldn't decide 
whether he'd been dreaming or whether his dream was real. As 
consciousness slowly returned he moved slightly, and felt the solid 
warmth of a heavy leg entwined with his, soft respirations across his 
chest. In the deep, still darkness his arms moved gently but securely 
around Tom Paris.

Last night he had found Tom, *his* Tom, the one who had vanished 
without a word all those months ago. The discovery had closed a 
chapter in hislife he didn't wish to revisit for a long time, if ever. He 
was whole now,  heart-whole if not fully healed.  For even now, 
cocooned as he was in happiness, he retained enough dispassion to 
realise that he couldn't simply pretend the last 16 months hadn't 
happened.  Runner. Captain. Killer. Whore. Did either of them 
know the man the other had become? He pushed the thought away. 
He'd found Tom and he wasn't going to let him run away again.

He wondered what time it was. This time he wasn't going to call for
lights, just let Tom sleep. Harry could take care of the ship for a few
hours.

As he lay in the darkness, thoughts came crowding in, thoughts that 
he didn't want to think. He tried to distract himself by remembering 
last night, so sweet, so poignant, so loving.  Was that the *real* 
Tom? Spirits, there were those doubts again. Tom *had* to be the 
same, despite all the stories Chakotay had heard, all the evidence he 
had seen for himself. He wanted, needed to believe in Tom with all 
his heart, and with an unquestioning mind. He willed himself to trust 
and believe.

In the enclosing darkness he smelt the wonderful male smell of Tom 
in his arms, the scent of male skin, the faintest tang of Tom's sweat 
mixed with last night's sex. Tom's closeness, coupled with 
Chakotay's willingness, brought back vivid memories of last night, 
and his body stirred.  Would warp core equations, the time-
honoured way of dealing with this particular problem, help or 
should he just lie back and enjoy it? Almost unconsciously he 
rubbed himself against Tom's thigh, the fine hairs providing a 
pleasant roughness.

"Mmmm, is that a hint?" came a sleepy voice.

The captain chuckled. "Thought you were asleep."

"You planning on boarding me first and asking questions later?" 
mused a soft voice, and Chakotay could hear the humour beginning 
to wake up.

"Mmm, wonderful idea...Lights 50 %". As soon as he could see 
what he was doing Chakotay tipped Tom's head up to his. Mouth 
covered mouth, tongue sliding against tongue. Tom groaned 
involuntarily, his cock catching up with Chakotay's. The larger man 
rolled onto Tom, pinning him with his weight, rubbing their cocks 
together. His hands slid up Tom's body to his armpits, thumbs 
smoothing over the fine skin inside Tom's triceps, then up the long 
forearm to pin his wrists above his head. He raised his head and  
looked down at Tom possessively.

"Spirits, Tom..." the wonder in his voice was obvious.

Tom lay still, staring at him as if hypnotised through black rimmed
eyes.

Chakotay began to kiss his way down Tom's body, licking and 
biting gently past the jaw, neck, pectorals, and abdomen. His hands 
slid down again, following the movements of his torso. Tom moved 
under his lips, body twisting in helpless abandonment. At Tom's 
belly, Chakotay again paused in his work. He looked down at Tom's 
cock, glistening with arousal, then slowly sank his mouth down over 
it, sucking the hardness in deep, sliding his tongue over the ridges 
and veins, learning once again the pleasure map engraved on its 
surface.

Tom screamed once, then settled back on the bed. He began to 
gently fuck the mouth of the man sucking him, falling into him, 
allowing himself to be consumed by Chakotay and by the pleasure 
he was feeling.  He moaned aloud, thrusting up in time as Chakotay 
drew him in and released him. One of Chakotay's hands kneaded his 
balls lightly, the other slid upwards, stroking then gently entering his 
ass. Pleasure surrounded him from all directions, he sighed deeply 
as he exhaled, then stiffened as orgasm began to rush over him, 
spurting deep and hard into Chakotay's mouth. He yelled as he 
came, yelled and shook and held onto Chakotay's head as if it was 
his only thread back to reality. 

One he had calmed down slightly, he opened his eyes and looked at
Chakotay, surprised to see the man now lying beside him. 
Chakotay's cock still pressed insistently into his thigh. He moved his 
leg, exerting a teasing pressure against the swollen organ and 
grinned. "God, that must be painful. Wouldn't you like me to take 
care of it for you?"

Chakotay's answer was to kiss him, deeply and thoroughly.  He 
caught the faintest taste of himself in Chakotay's mouth and 
shuddered slightly in erotic delight.  He raised his mouth from the 
commander's and let his gaze run along the smooth dark skin.  
Chakotay made a move back towards him but he pushed him back 
down with a gentle insistence.  "Don't," he whispered. With an easy 
grace he moved across the commander, imprisoning him within his 
knees, raising himself to allow Chakotay to watch his display. He 
ran his fine hands lightly over his own body, pinching his nipples 
and stroking his cock until it stood erect again. With one hand he 
reached back and parted his cheeks.  He sucked on a finger, then 
inserted it deep into his own body, preparing himself with practised 
efficiency.  

Chakotay felt his cock deflate as he watched. Tom was up to three 
fingers now, writhing suggestively against his own hand, eyes blank 
and unfocused. The whole scene had taken on the quality of a 
dream. Or a performance. "Don't," he said involuntarily, echoing 
Tom's words.  Something in the tone of his voice halted the younger 
man,  Tom stopped abruptly,  a look of horror on his face. He 
dropped to his haunches resting his hands on his thighs and spoke 
raggedly, "Oh god I'm sorry,  I didn't mean to... I didn't want you to 
see..."

"Tom,"  Pity and disgust fought within him, so strongly that 
Chakotay could hardly get the words out. "It doesn't matter. That's 
not you, not the *real* you. I *know* you, that's not you."

"You think? You think you know me?"  The blue eyes, so open only minutes before were frosted now and Tom's voice was cold.

"Yes, I do."  Even to himself, the words had a hollow ring.

Tom laughed bitterly. "No, you don't, you just think you know. Let 
me show you the real me, Chakotay, the Tom Paris you've never met before."

And as bad as it had been before, this was the worst.  Again and 
again he had thought he had reached rock bottom, only to find he 
had further to fall.  But this was the absolute worst. The look on 
Chakotay's face, the disgust.  He was revolted, angry by what he 
had done to stay alive. What he had become.

In the midst of despair anger swept through him. Fuck Chakotay. 
What right had he, snug and safe with his captain's pips and his 
Starfleet vessel, to sit in judgment on Tom?  Fuck him and his 
smug superiority. It was about time he learnt some of the less 
salubrious facts of life, then that might blunt his complacency. Tom 
slid out of bed and held out his hand.

"Shower?"

Chakotay nodded, wordlessly. 

In the shower Tom took charge.  He pushed Chakotay back against 
the tiles, and began to bite.  His teeth were sharp, Chakotay yelped 
a few times. This hurt. He'd never felt less turned on but he didn't
want to reject Tom, sure that to do so now would be the one certain 
way of driving him away.  Tom latched on to his nipple and began 
to suck it, he groaned again, this time in pleasure and his cock 
twitched as it hardened.  Sucking wasn't enough,  Tom began to 
bite, and suddenly the small pain hit Chakotay's cock and his arousal 
kicked up a notch.  Tom's teeth bit harder, he moved from the 
nipple to Chakotay's belly, nipping and biting, then back again.  
Chakotay groaned.  The hot water stung the small abrasions, adding 
to the feelings he was getting from his skin. It had never been like 
this before, so hot, so wild.  Tom's free hand slid up to his other 
nipple, rubbing it gently and sensuously. Chakotay's brain couldn't 
tell the difference between the soft pleasure at one nipple and the 
fiery sharpness at the other.  His brain decided on pleasure, and he 
cried out, not knowing which part of his body was sending him 
ecstasy.

Tom slid back down to the waiting cock, wet with pre-cum, aching 
with arousal.  He sucked it in once, hard, then released it.  He stood 
up, his body pressing Chakotay's back into the cold tiles.  "Do you 
want it?"

"Ye..yessssss.."

"Hot and hard?"

"Mmmm..."

"Like this?"

Quickly soaping his hand he plunged two fingers sharply into 
Chakotay's body.  The big man cried out, pain being translated into 
pleasure.  Tom finger-fucked him, feeling Chakotay's body relax 
swiftly, his muscles opening, welcoming the intruder.  Soon Tom's 
hand withdrew.  With an economy of movement he spun Chakotay 
around, hard up against the wall.  Again he spoke, voice low and 
threatening.  "Say it!"

"I want it.. I want...ohhhh, fuck me... please..."

Then Tom entered him with no further ceremony.  He forced his 
cock in, deep and hard, taking Chakotay brutally, violently.  The big 
man cried out once, then pleasure overtook him again, and he 
sobbed into his hands as he braced against the wall.  The violence of 
the encounter was just what Tom was looking for.  He slid one arm 
up Chakotay's body to his neck, then placed his arm across the 
captain's neck.  Slowly, gently at first, he tilted Chakotay's head 
back against his shoulder, sliding his tongue into Chakotay's ear, 
nipping his neck, biting his mouth.  Then, in time with his thrusts 
into Chakotay's body, he tightened his arm.

Through the lust haze that throbbed in his brain Chakotay began to 
register an uncomfortable tightness around his throat.  His brain 
struggled to understand what Tom was doing, even as the thrusts 
into his body sent messages of intense pleasure rocketing through 
him.  He tried to struggle, body and mind fast becoming lost in the 
conflicting sensations he was receiving.  It was easy for Tom to 
strengthen his hold, to constrict Chakotay's breathing until he was 
gasping for breath even as his body screamed for more air, his heart 
beat speeding as orgasm approached.  He didn't know what to feel, 
his brain was incapable of coping with what was happening to him. 
Fire gathered in his balls, hotter than anything he'd ever felt, even as 
blackness threatened the edge of his consciousness as Tom's arm 
tightened.  He thrashed against his captor, once, twice, then he felt 
Tom's seed flood into him, burning him, acid etching him inside, and 
he convulsed himself, unable to scream, to cry out, cum spurting up 
against the tiled wall.  He felt Tom's teeth in his shoulder, as Tom 
finally released the pressure  He cried out hoarsely, shuddering, 
shaking.  Every sensation was intensified almost beyond bearing, he 
struggled to hold onto consciousness as the onslaught of emotion 
battered him, pleasure beyond anything he'd ever felt, fear as intense 
as agony.

Loud gasps sounded above the hiss of water as both men struggled 
to draw breath.  Chakotay's knees gave out with the added weight 
of Tom on his back, and he slid down the wall, slowing his fall with 
his hands, until he was kneeling on the tiled floor.  Tom sagged 
bonelessly with him.   The smaller man recovered first, and he 
turned Chakotay towards him, holding him tight, kissing his mouth, 
face, hair, stroking his smooth back, as the warm water cascaded 
over and around them. 



End Part 1