In this system, children are always the losers.

If you bring a dispute before the Court where the custodial parent is not upholding their end of the Custody Order, the judge will say you (the plaintive) the NCP (Non Custodial Parent) should have mediated the dispute and not brought it to this level. However, if it is not written in the Custody Order for disputes to be mediated, the defendant (custodial parent) is under no obligation to mediate.

The law provides for the police to be called to enforce Court Orders, however, if the NCP calls the police the judge will chastise the NCP for involving the police as not being in the best interests of the children. Never mind if the custodial parent is not acting in the best interest of the children by denying visitation to the NCP.

If the Custody Order specifies places and times for visitation to occur and the custodial parent makes up an excuse and offers make up time, the Court will not find the against the custodial parent, but instead blame the NCP for not being flexible to the realities of the circumstance. Never mind if the custodial parent sets a consistent pattern of unilaterally setting aside the specified times. By the way, if the NCP is being flexible by taking the time offered, in doing so, the NCP has condoned, i.e. legitimized the inappropriate conduct, the NCP has nothing to say.

If the Custody Order grants summer vacation to the NCP, and the custodial parent decides to send the child someplace else during the allotted time, the Court will not find grounds for contempt if the custodial parent makes the excuse that the NCP didn’t have any plans for that period. Obviously, the NCP can’t have any plans because the custodial parent is not obligated to honor specifically negotiated dates and times since custodial parents aren’t obligated to honor their agreements, even in writing.

If the custodial parent is in the habit of changing the terms of verbal agreements or in the habit of claiming there was a misunderstanding and the NCP wants to do agreements in writing, say via email in order to refer back to what specifically was said, the Court says the phone is good enough. It is the NCP’s fault for not being able to communicate effectively.

If the custodial parent decides not to inform the NCP of doctor appointments and medical procedures, as long as the children tell the NCP about the medical situations, the custodial parent has met their obligation to inform the NCP. If the NCP isn’t informed by the children or the custodial parent, he has nothing to complain about since he doesn’t know about it.

If the Custody Order states that the custodial parent is to inform the NCP of medical and educational issues relating to the children, and in the event of a disagreement over the choice of action the custodial is given the tie break authority to make the final decision. If the custodial parent just makes the decisions without first consulting and informing the NCP, refer to the previous statement.

If the custodial parent has a habit of scheduling all the doctor’s appointments on the NCP’s visitation time, the NCP objects, then the custodial parent doesn’t have to inform the NCP of any procedures since the NCP clearly isn’t interested in the welfare of the children, in other words, refer to the previous statement.

The NCP is not allowed to discipline the children while they are with him, the Court says its inappropriate to do so, even elementary grounding. Discipline is the province of the custodial parent, however the custodial parent is not held accountable for the failure to discipline. The Court will hold the NCP responsible if the child is arrested during their visitation time, or any illegal acts committed by the child. Never mind that during the custody hearing a big issue is made out the custodial parent having rules for the children to follow and the NCP is usually characterized as not having any rules.

If the custodial parent alienates the child to the NCP where they do not come for visitation, the Court will blame the NCP for creating the environment that the child didn’t want to come over, i.e. discipline the child for wrong doing, unless alienation is specifically stated in the court order.

If the NCP sees marks on the child and tells the school. The NCP according to the Court is over reacting and if the school gives the phone # of Child Protective Services to the NCP and follows their advice, the NCP is not allowed to tell the Court that the school told them to do since that would be hearsay, and shame on the NCP for over reacting and calling the Child Protective Service without merit. If the custodial parent calls complaining about how the NCP treats the children, it must be so and the NCP kept away from the children.

If the NCP fails to pay child support on time, their wages will be garnished, if the custodial parent spends most of the money on themselves instead of the children, then the money was spent as the custodial parent deemed fit.

Custodial parents can do as they please, which after all is in the best interests of the children, since they are the parent and the Court does not wish to micromanage the affairs of the family. The NCP has nothing to say since they aren’t considered physical custodial parents, just a source of income, so the bottom line from the Court to the NCP, just shut up.