Click here to go back to Joe Bill's page.
Joe Bill (c)April 28, 2001
Max: The sky certainly is blue today.
Sid: No it isn�t.
Max: Excuse me?
Sid: You said the sky was blue right?
Max: Yes.
Sid: Well, it isn�t.
Max: Why not?
Sid: Blue comes from the French blou, which means yellow.
Max: What!?
Sid: Blue is yellow.
Max: (a bit confused) Umm okay. The sky is very�Yellow.
Sid: I am afraid you are wrong.
Max: You just said that Blue was yellow�
Sid: I did, but I never said that yellow was blue.
Max: What is the word for blue then?
Sid: Lavender.
Max: ????!!!! How can the sky be called lavender?
Sid: Easy, lavender came from the Egyptian word for blue.
Max: This is crazy! I am going to look in the dictionary.
Sid: Fine.
Max: Ahhh here it is. Blue, a hue found in the sky.
Sid: That is incorrect.
Max: The dictionary is incorrect!?
Sid: Yes. If it were correct it would say lavender there instead of blue.
Max: But the dictionary is the place for definitions of the words in the English Language! Are you saying it is wrong?
Sid: No.
Max: What?
Sid: I am just saying they put the wrong definition down.
Max: What the hell�???
(Sid punches Max in the jaw.)
Max: What was that for?
Sid: You said �What the hell� right?
Max: Yes.
Sid: Hell means your mother is a dog.
Max: Oh. I didn�t realize that�
Sid: Its okay. Here is some ice.
(Max nurses his swollen jaw)
Max: How come all your words sound like normal English words?
Sid: They happen to be correct in their definitions.
Max: Oh.
(enters Mark)
Mark: Hey Max, looks like your jaw is an umbrella.
Sid: Awwww� Good one Mark. (pats Mark on back)
Max: I don�t� understand�
Sid: Let me guess, you don�t know what umbrella means either right?
Max: I �. Errr�. Well� I �
Sid: It means �jacked up� �fruity� �bamboozled�.
Mark: I thought everyone knew that.
Max: But the dictionary�
Mark: Pssh. What does the dictionary know? (said mockingly) Definitions of words? Shyeah.
Max: Wouldn�t it have been much simpler for the dictionary to simply use the definition for the appropriate word?
Sid: No.
Max: Why not?
Mark: You ever been to China?
Max: Ummm� No.
Mark: Well, the emperor there had a language all to his own, so that the subjects couldn�t understand what he was saying. He had to have a royal interpreter, who really didn�t understand that language either.
Max: How did that help him communicate?
Mark: Well, in his language all words meant something else than they normally did, or even what the definitions of those words were.
Max: Wow, that sounds confusing.
Mark: Not to the emperor.
Sid: or his interpreter.
Max: I guess I never thought about it like that.
Max: Don�t they bury eggs or something like that too?
Sid: (ignoring Max) What about tax forms? Ever read one of those?
Max: (unsure of what word to use) no, er yes.
Sid: Well all you have to do is pick up a EZ-1040 to find another language with words that don�t mean what they normally do.
Max: Yeah, but the words definitions are at least commonly accepted in that field�
Mark: Well no not really.
Max: They aren�t?
Mark: Ever been charged for making an error?
Max: Back in �74 there was that time�
Mark: You made that error because you read the wrong definition of the word �add�.
Max. Ohhh. I bet I really screwed that up.
Mark: Yeah, add comes from the Assyrian meaning �to take away�.
Max: Isn�t that deceptive of the IRS?
Mark and Sid: Yeah, but you know that crazy IRS.
Max: How did you learn all this Mark?
Mark: Some experts on other languages told me.
Max: Oh. Did they have degrees?
Mark: Yes.
Max: Well then, I suppose they must be right then.
Mark: Yes, if you have a degree, it means you are pretty smart.
Mark: So anyway Sid, whatservatican its pler snosblum?
Sid: Bookity.
Mark: Personalhygienicalnightmare per se quota?
Sid: Flappity.
(Max pays close attention)
Mark: Pestachio.
Sid: Prenuptial.
Mark: Snoofy.
Max: I don�t understand a word you say, but I defend to the death your right to say it.
Mark: Voltaire huh?
Max: Yeah�
Mark: You misquote him. It should be �I flapjack fruitcake a word you say, but I abhor flickity your right to burlap it�
(Max blushes in his own ignorance.)
Max: Well guys, I had better go.
Mark: Flippity later.
Sid: Floppity.
Max: Bye, er� hello.. I will see you guys later�
(exit max)
Go to the message board!
Click here to go back to Joe Bill's page.
