We watched Cloud walk away from the Highwind, his eyes never turning back to look at us again. A swell of disappointment for our leader filled my soul and Chaos flared to life with such a vengeance that I had to struggle to keep the monster suppressed within me. A low growl still uttered from my throat and I quickly walked out of the room to avoid being heard.

I didn�t expect that my anger at Cloud for hurting Tifa�s feelings would be enough for Chaos to come to life within me, and after releasing Chaos within me during our final battle I never wanted it to emerge again. The total disregard for human life appalled me, and I never wanted to endanger the lives of my new friends with such a monster.

The quiet of the hall soothed me slightly as I collapsed to my knees, growling and clutching my chest. I never thought that repelling the creature would be such a chore to do. A voice in the blackness of my heart told me that the pain would be less if I just let Chaos emerge from my body, but I stubbornly refused. I knew nothing good would come out of letting Chaos go on a joy run around the world. I would be able to kill my friends in a matter of minutes.

My senses are normally rather acute in the first place, but now I could smell the flowing blood and beating hearts of my comrades in the room next door, and I could also sense a lone presence approaching me from down the hall. I knew that it must be Tifa, which raised the anger in me once more from the way Cloud hurt her feelings.

My vision turned blood red and I couldn�t see anything but the blurry outline of her body and her long hair as she struggled to put it back into its tie. Just the sight of her calmed me a little, and Chaos retreated back inside of me. I collapsed to all fours, panting and hoping she wouldn�t see me in the shadows, but she did.

Tifa�s eyes widened and she sucked in a sharp breath of air before falling to her knees next to me. Her hands never touched me, but her eyes searched me for any wounds or weaknesses. �What�s wrong?� she breathed, her voice so sweet and melodious that I wanted nothing more than for her to keep on talking. She has a kind, musical voice that asks without speaking to tell her what�s wrong, and that�s why she cries at night. The image of the crying angelic girl in the moonlight will always plague my mind and dreams, and I was determined not to add another sin to cry about on her shoulders.

�Nothing is wrong. I was just resting.� My voice was still unnaturally deep, so I stopped talking immediately and avoided her luminous eyes.

�Vincent�� she started, her head bowed so her long hair curtained her eyes from me. Curious, I studied her face and noticed that she was taking a deep breath as if to make a confession to me. �Everyone asks me to listen to them while they tell me their problems except for you. You�re such a mystery to me.�

�You wouldn�t want to know the real me.� I responded quietly.

�But doesn�t it hurt keeping it all inside?� she persisted, her eyes locking with mine. I felt the same way that I felt the first time I looked into them: drunk with pleasure. The wine red of her eyes startled and delighted me the same way I used to feel after looking into Lucrecia�s violet orbs. I immediately felt that I had sinned again and did not respond to her question, so she continued talking. �Doesn�t it hurt when it all builds up and there�s no one there for you to talk to?�

I bowed my head and looked away from her begging eyes. She wanted me to listen to her about her problems and grief, but little did she know I had been listening every night to her in the moonlight. �Sometimes.� Was the only response I gave her for her question.

She nodded slowly; looking hurt, and got to her feet. The smell about me immediately changed from the warm scent of roses and lilacs to the cold, unforgiving scent of metal and oil. For a moment I wondered if she realized she smelled like flowers, as they had all been dying since mako was being produced. The only ones I knew that were remaining were in the collapsing greenhouse of my mansion, and even those were on their way to death. I made a mental note to show them to Tifa when we arrived back to Nibelhiem.

�I�m going back to the cockpit to say good-bye to Barret. I believe we�re dropping him off next.� Tifa gifted me with a bright smile and walked away.

I watched her silhouette move away, perfect as the shadow of a goddess, and suppressed the urge to spill my worries and problems onto her comforting shoulder; the urge to confess to wine red eyes and the scent of flowers.

I hugged Barret good-bye fiercely, tears coursing down my cheeks while he promised to come see me as soon as possible. Barret and I have gone through life together, and he�s always been there to protect and comfort me. I watched as he ran to his little daughter and scooped her up into his arms before she perched on his shoulder. One by one I sat silently by Cid as we dropped off each of the members. The cigarette from Cid�s mouth puffed excitedly as we neared Rocket Town and Nibelhiem. �This is it, girly.� He said to me as the Nibel Mountain range crept into view. �The journey is over for us!�

I nodded and said nothing, watching the ground reach up to us as we landed. �Not Cloud�s.�

Cid looked fully at me, an uncertain look on his face. �I�m sure he�ll come back to you soon. The damn ass better come back, or I�ll kick his bony butt so hard he�ll fly to the moon.�

It was a lie; both Cid and I knew that. Neither of us could deny that we knew Cloud�s true feelings for Aerith, and that was why it hurt my heart so much. �I better find Vincent and tell him we�re back.� I said, and turned around to go look for him, but he was already standing behind us, his arms crossed and glaring out at the quaint town. I couldn�t believe that I would be living with him, of all people. Everyone had promised to visit me when they left, but I knew that would be while yet. I wanted Cloud to be beside me, confidence gleaming in his life-filled blue eyes and have his strong arms around me. Cloud was out professing love to a dead girl, though. My last thread of happiness had been cut with me, and the cut was deep.

Cid gave me a hug, and told me he would come to see me tomorrow to see how I�m doing. Grateful, I thanked him and told him I appreciated it. It should prove to be an interesting night.

She looked so scared and lonely as soon as she set foot into my mansion. Her hands would not cease clasping themselves together and I have never seen her so interested in playing with her hair. I was fairly certain that no words I could say would comfort her, so I kept my mouth tightly shut. I showed her to one of the spare rooms near the garden side of the mansion, hoping the sight of it would relax her. Unfortunately, the garden was overgrown and crawling with vines and ivy. It appeared more as a jungle than a rose garden. She thanked me softly and gave me one forlorn glance as she walked by me. The breeze she created swept the scent of her back to my senses, and, of course, those incredible eyes. To be completely honest I was ecstatic that she would be living with me, but I hoped that she would not be so depressed. Thinking that some rest tonight would help her, I left the hall and walked to the basement library.

At this point it would be foolish of me to tell myself I wasn�t infatuated with Tifa. Everything about her plagued my mind, and never after Lucrecia have I desired contact from another woman. Tifa was irresistibly enchanting in my bloodstained eyes, making it bewildering to me why Cloud would ever pick another woman over her. He could still come back right now and she would accept him without another thought of the matter. Or would she? Was her heart so set on Cloud that she would not notice the affections of another man?

�Like you would display affection.� The mocking voice of Chaos boomed from inside of me while I was reading in the murky light of the study. �And even if you did sum up the will to display affection, how would you do it? Why would someone as perfect and beautiful as Tifa ever love a man who is half a monster?�

�So you agree that she is lovely.� I jabbed back mentally.

�You�re a monster.� Chaos retreated back into the shadows of my heart.

I rested the book on my lap and stared at my hands out-stretched before me: one a normal, graceful hand with long ivory fingers, the other was a bronze claw, unfeeling and cold to the touch. I hated that claw. I thought back to the times directly after it had been implanted onto me. I had come so close to chopping it off that I had gone as far as holding a hatchet above my arm. My sinned heart would not allow that though. Amputating one�s own arm requires courage; something I seem to be lacking as of late.

Could a person look past something as severe as a monster arm for the sake of love? Would have Lucrecia done so if she was still alive to see me as I am? I subconsciously hid the monster length of myself beneath a length of my crimson cloak and got to my feet. Sitting around in a dark room analyzing the demonic parts of myself were deeds of the past. I had to somehow rise above that behavior.

I started roaming the dark halls of SHINRA mansion, which had been my tomb for thirty years. Technically I had been dead; I had even been lying in a coffin. But I was not dead, I was simply lying in the dark: sleeping and while I was awake I reflected upon the sins of my past. It worked well as a form of punishing myself. The monster half of my body allowed me to stay alive without water and food for such a long time; it saved me by hibernating my body, and the entire time Chaos slept beside me.

The dark entity would gnaw at my sanity and fill my slumber with nightmares. I hated it for that, but I knew that I deserved it, and for the sake of punishing myself I loved it. I don�t know if I could have steadied my hand as I held my hatchet above my arm if it hadn�t been for Chaos. I didn�t want to live, but I certainly deserved to live. I deserved to live forever in torment, alone and away from all love.

Did that mean I would also have to live away from Tifa?

�There�s the bad side of loving a woman, Vincent.� Chaos piped in, resurfacing to speak with me once more. �You forget that you indeed are immortal, and Tifa most certainly is not. She will grow old and die before you whether you love her or not. Love cannot win over death no matter how hard the lovers try. It cannot be done. You will watch Tifa die a little every day, and for keeping her so close to immortality she will hate you. You will sin again!�

Chapter Three
Stories