I raised my head, woken up by the sunlight that peeked through the curtains of the hotel room. Wondering what time it was. I almost forgot what had happened last night.

Then I looked next to me - John was sleeping soundly, like a baby, his breath going up and down his chest in a smooth, even manner. Even asleep he looked beautiful. I wouldn't mind waking up to that face every morning...

I wiggled myself out of the bed, careful not to wake him, and dressed for the day. I almost laughed when I saw our clothes strewn on the floor rather haphazardly. Yes, it had been a night to remember...

As I tried to smooth out my hair, I looked myself in the mirror. What have we just done? Maybe that was a mistake... Me and John were friends. And as much I wanted it to be more - I knew it couldn't be. I saw what had happened with Andy when he married Tracey - backlash all the way. With Simon engaged, Duran Duran couldn't afford having the single resident heartthrob linked to anyone.

As I looked back at him longingly, I knew it was for the best. He still had things to work out - with his career, with his life, with everything. The last thing I wanted to be was a burden for him. Something else to worry about.

I went into the kitchen, and noticed a hastily written note on the table. John must have gotten up and written it after I had fallen asleep. It said, "Grace, call down to room service and tell them to bring 2 of my usual when you read this." So I did as he suggested, the bellboy coming up with a wheeled cart, leaving after I gave him a tip.

I was just pouring the tea when John awoke. He looked beautiful even though he had just gotten up, his hair disheveled like he didn't have a care in the world. John was wearing a white bathrobe with blue flowers on it - must have been from the hotel. I couldn't help thinking what he was wearing under that!

"Morning, John."

John half-frowned as he stumbled into the kitchen, then smiled when he saw me. "Mornin' luv." Without anything else said, he sat down and started into his "usual" - the standard British breakfast, complete with tomato slice and lime marmalade.

Honestly, I was little hurt that John didn't say anything about the previous night's events. I was hoping he would say something.

Something like...I love you Grace.

I've made up my mind. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And only you.

But it looked like I had to make the first move. "John?" I dropped a slice of lemon into my tea.

"Yeah Grace?"

"I think we need to talk."

"Okay. Talk away." We got up and sat on a sofa in the living room. He took my hands in his. "I'm so glad you're here. It's been so lonely with no one to talk to..."

"And this has been the best birthday present I've ever gotten," I replied. I giggled a little. "And I'm not only talking about last night."

John ran the tip of his tongue across his lips. "Hmmm, that's funny. I don't know about you but I had an excellent time last night." He ran his fingers across the palms of my hands, sending a shiver down my spine.

I nodded. "As did I. But that's not what I really wanted to talk about."

"Oh." He laughed in spite of himself.

"John...I need to know something. John, you have to tell me..."

"Yeah?"

"...do you love me?"

He looked slightly taken aback, swallowing hard. Saying nothing. Finally, to break the silence, he replied, "Grace...I...I..."

I turned away. "I knew it. I knew you couldn't handle the committment. I should have known. Better yet, I shouldn't have asked. Stupid really."

John looked at me regretfully. "Grace, you know that..." The phone jangled loudly on the coffee table. "Oh, just ignore, it'll stop." We waited for a couple more rings and it did stop. But as soon as John opened his mouth again, it started ringing again.

Frustrated, John grabbed the phone. "Yes? Mmmhmmm...yeah, I'll be over in a hour. What? Rodge, just give me an hour and I *said* I will be over there. Wot? Who said...Nile said? Fine. I'll be over when I can." He slammed the receiver down, and got up from the sofa. "Grace, I gotta go."

"I figured as much," I said, shrugging, still upset.

"Something's messed up with one of the tracks we recorded in Monserrat and Roger said I better be over at 301 on the double," he said quickly, heading for the bathroom. "But when I get back, I still want to talk, okay?" Sensing that I wasn't happy with the situation, he added, "Grace, you're my friend and I'd never want to hurt you. We'll talk, you'll see."

So John went off to the studio to work, and I found myself with nothing to do. I assumed Helena had gone with the guys to 301 but I wasn't interested. What I really wanted to do was to have a heart-to-heart with John and that wasn't going to happen until he came back.

Instead, I went into town to do some shopping, and walked around the harbor for a bit. It was a beautiful day and I had my camera with me. I liked window-shopping unless there was something that I had to have.

When I passed a stationery store, I saw something in the window that looked interesting. That's funny. A box that says "Save a Prayer" on it. I wonder if the guys know about this...

It was a shoebox-sized, pink-colored box , with the words "Save a Prayer" engraved in gold letters on the top. Whoever had made it must have been a DD fan or at least someone who was trying to capitalize on it. Maybe it was because they knew Duran Duran was going to be in Sydney for a while, why not cash in on it?

Regardless, it was a beautiful box and after seeing it, I knew I had to have it. I suddenly had the best idea of what to use it for. I found paper printed with ivy leaves on it that I liked - seemed perfect for my idea. After paying for it all, I headed back to the apartment, got out a pen and started writing.

Pretty soon I had a bunch of scraps of ivy-printed paper in my longhand drawl.

People tell me, I haven't changed at all,
but I don't feel the same...

Because you're lonely in your nightmare, let me in...

Don't have to advertise,
when will you realize,
I'm sick of your alibis...

So soon just after you're gone
my sense sharpen...

Soon I had a collection of scraps of paper, Duran lyrics on one side, and dates or thoughts on the other side.

The whole point of this endeavor was for me to have a box of all my Duran Duran related thoughts in one place, so I could pick out one slip of paper anytime in the future, and instantly know what I was thinking at the time.

It gave me a healthy outlet for my feelings, which were now unhealthily garbled in my mind. I loved John...didn't I? One could never be too sure. After all, it's not like I spent a lot of time with him or the other guys now that they were so busy. What is love, anyway? I had this idea that it was supposed to be all wine and roses but I knew right away that if you loved someone in Duran Duran, this could never be the case. There was band politics, music corporation politics, heck even fan politics. And though you could make it work, the potential for music in some shape or form to break up what you had created was always so great in the grand scheme of things.

I cared for all of them very deeply, they were my friends and I was proud of what they had accomplished. It looked like their were destined for so much more. And I realized that on their way to the top, John might not need me anymore.

As I scribbled more strips of paper, I grew sad. As much as I cared for John as who he really was, I knew he had to maintain that persona of being John Taylor, cute and *available* bass player for Duran Duran. Never mind that he was supposedly dating Janine Andrews. At least he wasn't married yet - to the average teenybopper's one-track mind.

After a while though, I think I came to peace with the idea. Enough to not have such a heavy heart.

There was a knock at the door. "Who is it?"

"It's Helena, Grace. Let me in already!" a voice shouted on the other side of the door. I laughed as I unlocked the door.

"Hey you!" I said, smiling. "I was worried 'bout ya!" It looked like I needn't have worried. She was grinning from ear to ear.

"Why? I'm not a baby!" she smiled back.

I shook my head. "What did you do last night?" I looked at her carefully. "Seriously."

"Oh, well Simon and Rodge taught me how to play chess..." Helena answered, looking at the ceiling.

"Do I really want to know what happened?"

"Probably not." She laughed. "Let's talk about something else," she said, eager to change the subject. "How about...what were you and John up to? Simon told me Nick was in on it..."

I cleared my throat. "No comment."

"And you're saying *I'm* being coy. HA!"

"In a matter, yes." She looked over at the desk, which now had strips of paper strewn all over it.

"What's all that?" she asked. I rushed over to it, throwing the slips of paper into the box. "Oh, nothing," I said quickly, Helena eyeing me suspiciously. "What?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to see if you wanted to go to the opera. Simon got a pair of tickets from someone he knew, but the guys are going to be in the studio for a while tonight so he suggested the two of us spend a night on the town." She held up the tickets for my inspection.

"That Simon," I said, shaking my head. "Cool. I'd like to get out. I was waiting to talk to John..."

"...who won't be back for hours..."

"...and why not do something fun? Why don't we meet in the lobby in half an hour so I can get dressed in something nicer?"

"Fabulous," Helena agreed. "I think I'm going to turn in soon, I'm tired." When my eyebrows raised as if in question, she replied, "didn't get much sleep last night, you know."

"Mmmmhmmm." I shot her a disapproving look.

"What? Like you were Mother Teresa last night yourself?"

"You have a point."

"There ya go. Stop being my mom."

"That's my duty, 'cos your mom's not here."

"Humph." She looked mad, but I knew she couldn't be mad at me for long. "'nite Grace. Don't let the bedbugs - or anything else for that matter - bite." She winked, and disappeared into her apartment.

I got ready for bed by changing out of my clothes, taking a quick shower, and slipping into a pajama set. I looked into John's closet to see what kind of clothes he had - some nice Anthony Price suit sets that I ran my hands over, the fabric was amazing. I loved that red satin suit John wore in "Lonely in Your Nightmare." He also had a bunch of t-shirts, a pair of leather pants, and some various odd and ends.

I heard the front door click open. John was back.

"Grace?" he called out.

I emerged to the living room. "Hi John."

"Sorry I abandoned you like that this morning," he said sheepishly. "I would have stayed but I think the guys would have had my head on a platter if I didn't show up." He took off his jacket and dropped it on the sofa.

I shrugged it off. "I understand. After all, I'm here on holiday and you're here for work. I totally understand."

He sighed loudly, stepping into the kitchen to grab a Heineken out of the fridge, offering me one. I shook my head. "Grace, you're always too good to me," he said, easing the cap off and taking a long swig before settling in on the sofa.

I sighed to myself. "Not good enough probably," I answered, sitting down next to him.

"I had a lot of time to think today. To think...about us." He gazed his beautiful eyes right at me.

I nodded. "Mmmmmhmmmm."

"And as much I want a relationship - I want something real to happen. You know what I mean? Not a fleeting thing between friends. And me being stupid doesn't help matters. I always want to be friends, Grace. That is, if you still want to be."

I swallowed hard. But I was ready to face things. "Of course I do, John. All things must pass, I know. We take things as they come, and I know I'll never take you for granted. As a friend. Just do me one favor."

"Yeah?"

"Never forget me."

"Forget you? How could I..."

"I know you're becoming Mr. Bigshot right before my eyes and I can't do anything to stop it..."

"Wot? No way. Grace, I'm always going to be there for you. Even when you don't want me to be. Got it?"

I laughed. "Okay, I got it Taylor."

"That's better. Now...how about a friendship hug?"

John wrapped his arms around me and although it was still the warmth of the man that I loved for what seemed eternity, I felt like I had gotten some closure. For the time being at least. Miles would separate us for years but we were still friends. And I knew this friendship was golden.

but not for long...coming soon - book two, "Mars Meets Venus." Stay tuned! In the meantime, would you be kind enough to sign my guestbook and tell me what you thought of the story? Thanks! ~ littlewillow