Nick and Stephen appeared on Liquid News on British television in September '02, but to my knowledge it was only viewable to people in London. I was able to watch it on a little Real Video stream provided by Liquid News's website. That was a laugh in itself, I'd left work early to make sure I could catch the show (I had presumed would only be shown live on the Internet), and of course that day there was this huge backup on Route 1 turning my normal 15-minute drive home from school into this hour-long ordeal.

However, I and many Devils fans were lucky enough to catch the Real Video on demand stream. But it's just not the same, you know? So a special thanks to my good friend Jennie who probably wore out her tape of the show to provide the transcript here. We forgot the names of the interviewer (I) and another man (Bloke) who was a guest on the same show, but I guess it doesn't matter terribly. JM is the British comedienne Julia Morris.

Notes: The first time I ever saw the "Desert Island Discs" type of feature was probably 12 or so years ago, in a copy of Tower Records' "Pulse" magazine in which readers are invited to pick 10 albums that they would take with them if they were to be stranded on a desert island.

If I remember correctly (it's been a couple months) Nick was wearing a white t-shirt under a dark suit jacket, and Stephen was wearing his APC Richard Hell t-shirt (the one with the triangles). Considering the circumstances (obviously the interviewer hadn't been briefed on Duran history) the two of them were rather witty. I wouldn't mind getting a hold of that CD with all that incidental department store noise - makes me wonder if it'll find another life in a future Lilac Time release. Another note about this show, apparently the Liquid News staff was inundated with positive responses to the Devils (including mine, thank you very much) to this show that they kept this on-demand show up for longer than they normally would for other programmes.

Huge thanks goes out to Jennie Leahy for taping and then watching this a gazillion times to get this transcript for us deprived folks. I swear, everything groovy happens in London...

• Talking about Michael Barrymore
• I - Nick Rhodes, you are a man who gets in a lot of planes. If you were at the airport and saw the Barrymore story, would you buy it?
• NR - Ah well, I'd just like to know whether he can swim to be honest.
• I - Yeah, the police are looking into that. (talking to Stephen) Stephen Duffy, Michael Barrymore. I'm sure none of your tracks would ever feature on My Kind Of Music but, err, is this something of interest to you?
• SD - No, I don't think I'll be buying this for my family this Christmas.
• Bloke - If it comes out!
• SD - No.
• The interviewer asks the viewers for their opinion and invited them to e-mail or text - Nick takes is mobile out of his pocket and shows it to Stephen
• NR - We can send a text!
• Cut for report on Madonna and Guy Ritchie about how Guy would want to be stranded on a desert island with the Erotica album
• I - Going on about Desert Island Discs. Either of you, choose your own records on Desert Island Discs if you were on.
• SD - I would definately do that, and I would choose all of Nick's.
• I - talking to NickAnd you would choose all of Stephen's.
• NR - Of course we would we are only on here for cynical publicity...I mean why else would you choose anybody?
• SD - We are very loyal and we have the same hairdo.
• JM- I'm concerned because I think S Club Juniors would be my all-time favourites.
• NR - Yeah, couldn't live without 'em, that's just what you wanna hear.
• I - Do you have a favourite Duran Duran song?
• JM - Oh, the one on the boat when they're all in their best suits ever.
• SD - Really? That's a video isn't it?
• NR - *laughs*
• JM - I know I know, but you know I've only got a small brain and only certain things keep in the brain so I can remember the visuals but not the name and that's just because I'm stupid mainly.
• SD - *nods in agreement*
• I - (to Nick) What's your suit tonight?
• NR - What's my suit? It's a suit actually.
• I - Just talking about your posh suits
• JM - Were you the pioneer of great suits, you guys, weren't you?
• SD - Well that's why I had to leave. I didn't have a suit - No suit I had to go
• News item about wax works
• I - Duran Duran, have you ever been in waxworks?
• NR - Ah, not that I know of, no.
• I - Strangest Duran effigy?
• NR - Well, actually we did have some death masks made for a video once and that was the most terrifying thing I have ever done in my entire life. Have you ever done that - 'cause they stick tubes yeah your ears go and your eyes and they stick a straw in your nose.
• I - We're going to have to...
• SD - Back to Barrymore.
• News item on Angelina Jolie about changing her name
• I - Stephen "Tin Tin" Duffy. Name changing. A fools game?
• SD - I think so definitely I'm going to call myself Angie from now on, I think.
• News item on Charlotte Church and ex-boyfriend doing a kiss and tell on her
• I - Kiss and tells. Either of you two been victims of kiss and tells in the past?
• NR - Ah no - some members of my group I believe have suffered.
• I - Which one amused you the most?
• NR - I always like womens' underwear. I think that's err, womens' underwear on guys I seem to remember that was one.
• I - Which band member was that?
• NR - I can't remember which one of them it was, they've probably all done it you know.....err.....does it really matter?
• I - Stephen. Kiss and tell me with you mouth.
• SD - Well I'm going to call myself sleazy so and so from now on...
• JM - *prattles on about having pneumonia and people saying she has AIDS*
• SD - This is the most upbeat celebrity programme I have ever been on.
• NR - *laughs*
• I - It's time to crack out the electric pop keyboard and chat to some little devils. Former Duran Duranies Nick Phodes and Stephen Duffy have reteamed up to produce an art pop album called Dark Circles. It's in the shops now and this single "Come Alive" will be in the shops soon.
• "Come Alive" plays
• I - It's going all Daft Punky on us there. How representative is it of the whole "The Devils" work?
• NR - Ah it's, er, it's one of twelve tracks on there. They're all a little different, but I mean half of them were written in 1978 and they work pretty seemlessly I think.
• I - Written in 1978?
• SD - This one wasn't, this one we wrote when the engineer went off to watch an Arsenal football match so this, we'd put a lot of effort and time and effort...
• I - In 2002...
• SD - Into this...
• NR - Just to prove what you can do instead of watching a football match.
• I - So what do you mean they were written in 1978?
• NR - Well, they were when we started Duran Duran - Stephen and I and John Taylor. Stephen's our very first singer and we wrote these songs together and we didn't really finish them until last year or the year before so...how long did it take us?
• SD - 25 years or something.
• I - So if you hadn't left, this is what the first Duran Duran album would have sounded like?
• SD - This is the idea yes. We went back in time, we pretended it was 1978 for 2 weeks, we kind of we cut our own hair, we wore very tight trousers...
• NR - Lousy food though - food got better since then.
• I - How Duran Duran have done had you had never left?
• SD - It would have been a compleat disaster for them it's a good job I left. *all laugh*
• NR- I disagree, no no, I disaggree. I think we would have done just fine....
• SD - We'd all be playing acoustic guitars walking round restaurants in Soho.
• NR - I like folk music, I haven't gone through my Bob Dylan phase.
• SD - And I love synthesizers, Nick.
• I -So this the beautiful mesh, the meeting of the minds.
• NR - A meeting of minds.
• I - Now you've done some very strange recording for this, involving stalking around a department store, I believe, with a tape recorder.
• NR - Stalking around?
• I - What's that, explain this.
• NR - What, oh, there's a track called "Big Store," which required a little shopping ambience at the beginning and, err, we took a little stroll round Harvey Nichols and err...
• SD - Nick guided me 'round Harvey Nichols and Harrods holding a microphone saying....
• NR - Over there. There. There is good.
• I - So what section sounded the best?
• NR - I always favour cosmetics, as you know.
• SD - Harrods was the best.
• NR - Harrods - we liked Harrods' food hall, didn't we?
• SD - The best ambience.
• I - So you went to more than one store?
• SD - We have hours of this, if you'd like to, I can burn it on to CD if you want to listen to it later.
• I- And what would the cosmetics store sound like?
• JM- Baby, I live next door to Harvye Nick's, I'm all over it like a cheap suit. But you know where the real action is - up on the 5th floor.
• NR - Oh yeah.
• JM - A lot of clinking.
• NR - That's the conveyor belt going around, with all the little sushi jams on it. That's the sound.
• SD - Sounds like we should play there.
• I - That should have been good, then sushi, sushi bars you could have had. Here we got you in the glory days of Duran Duran (on screen behind them).
• JM - I can't see them...what's the chances of The Devils making it on Top Of The Pops?
• NR- I should think they are fairly slim but you never know we could ask them I guess. Hey, if your watching - call us.
• JM - They would be all over you like a cheap suit, are you mad?
• I - Like an expensive suit.
• NR - Well that was a Duran Duran...
• I - We're going to have to move along, but perhaps if the single does sell we can see you back there...
• News item on Fame Academy, a new programme on the BBC
• I - Now, to two men that have been in the pop industry for 20 years. What do you need to teach youngsters who apply for a show like this who have been groomed for stardom?
• NR - I don't know, you know, I mean the reality TV we really want to see is the Blairs and that would be fun. Or the Bushes maybe better still.
• JM - I've always wanted to see the Bushes.
• NR - Yeah. *laughs*
• I - Stephen, what would you teach the popstars of tomorrow? What do they need to know. Enrique Iglesias, there's the man the nation's pop-man.
• SD - I think, we should have no more reality TV because it's just looking at ill people isn't it, and we should have like you say (turns to Nick) we should have a chart for all of those people.
• JM - I'll people...*laughing*
• NR - A separate chart.
• SD - A separate chart.
• I - What chart would you be in?
• SD - We'd be in the other chart, the 1978 chart.
• I - The 1978?
• SD - The chart when we go back and make an album in 1978.
• I - Knocking the Boomtown Rats off the top next week?