| Pain was a funny thing. It's so sharp, so powerful when you first feel it, but after awhile it disperses, untill you look back on it and can't remember how bad it was. Standing over her mother's grave, Dira tried to, but couldn't remember the pain that had torn her heart and soul in two just days ago. It was gone now, leaving only a dull ache that was slowly being turned into an icy, black hole inside her. The only pain she felt now was the twing in her ribs where she'd been kicked and the hot burning beneeth the gause patch over her left eye, but they were easyly ignored. Even the protests of her sore muscles as she nelt next to the fresh grave seemed insignifagant. They would go away, the emptyness wouldn't. Kneeling infront of the small headstone, Dira dug her fingers into the soft, wet earth. Pulling the dirt away, she begain makeing a small hole just above where her mother's head was, several feet below. As she worked she hummed to herself..... "Mama take this badge from me I can't use it any more It's getting dark, too dark to see Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door" Finished, she reached inside her long overcoat, pulling out two things. She held up the standerd issue handgun the department had given her just a few months before. It was no good to her anymore, she'd offically quit the force, right before emptying it into several of her fellow officers. Dropping it into the hole, Dira held up her badge. She casually ran her thumb along the edge she'd painstacenly sharped the day before. She had worryed it wasn't sharp enough, but that had been proven unfounded when she's used it to slit the Sergeant's neck from ear to ear. It too disapeared into the hole before Dira pushed the dirt back in, burying her old life beside her beloved mother. "Mama put my guns in the ground I can't shoot them any more That cold black cloud is comin' down Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door" "I knew I'd find you here." Dira stood up, not turning around just yet, "Did you know, Jay?" "You know I didn't." Turning around, Dira looked at the man who had been her partner on the force. He was almost twenty years her senor and had almost a foot on her in height. His years on the force showed on his face, heavy lines criss crossed his forhead and down his face. There was a constant wearyness in his eyes that made him look much older then his age of 45. Moveing slowly, she walked over to him. She stared up into his seafoam green eyes a moment. "Seven months, Jay. For seven months I was working for the enemy and didn't even know it. I couldn't believe it. The Law was working against us, against our world." Her voice was soft, but held a diamond sharp edge. "I know, darlin, I couldn't believe it either. I worked for them for twelve years and never saw it comeing." Jay looked down at Dira, his eyes showing his tired soul."But did you have to.... all of them....." "They murdered my mother, Jay." Dira practiaclly ground out, the simmering rage she'd been fighting showing in her uncovered right eye, "She was working at a damn soup kitchen, just trying to help the people we were suposted to be protecting and they murdered her. For what? Because one person there worked for the resistance. ONE F****** PERSON?!?!" Dira came close to looseing it right then, just like she had earlyer that day, when she'd walked into the persenct and killed every cop there. Every single one had fallen before her, none were spared, none were innocent. Every single one was as corupt as the corporations slowly rapeing this planet of it's worth. Jay's hand on her shoulder, brought her back, snapping her into the here and now. Her breathing was ragged as she lowered her head a moment. Reaching inward, Dira grabed the icy, blackness covering her heart. She wrapped herself in it, letting her anger, her hatred melt away, untill there was nothing left but a cold resolve to see the job done. Lifting her head, she looked up at her former partner, her voice was soft, but colder then deep space as she said, "I'm sorry Jay." Pulling his hand back, Jay stepped away, some unknown fear springing to life as he looked into an eye that was more black then blue. He opened his mouth to speak but gasped as a white hot pain seared threw him. Lowering the short muzzle pulse rifle she'd kept hidden under her coat, Dira looked at Jay where he'd hit the ground, a small smoking hole where his heart should have been, "Sorry you weren't a better lier." Bending down, she fished around in his coat untill she came up with what she knew would be there, a transmitter. *They* had been listening in the whole time. Dropping it on the ground, she crushed it under the heel of her boot. Reaching up, she grabbed the edge of her bandage. Pulling it away from the tender skin underneth, she revieled the tattoo just a few hours old. It was large, circleing her left eye, covering much of her left forehead and cheek. It was a solid black blotch matching the one maring her soul. Of no particualar shape, it reminded her of the spotted herd animals that once roamed the grasslands of Black Sun, long since haveing died off from the distuction of thier homes. Standing over Jay's body, she addressed the dieing world around her...... "Dira Kacow is dead......" her voice was like oil as she dropped the bandage, casting off the last piece of her old life like a snake sheding it's skin, ".......I am now and forever more, Dizzy Cow." |