Kyle Boe speaks out on rumors surrounding the band
April 21, 2004
Well folks, it's no secret that the band has said very little ever since the last concert in March. Even the normally outspoken Curly has remained in the shadows. However, it seems he has gotten fed up with the rumors of the band's creative struggles and possible break up, because he sent FotB online this letter this morning to set the record straight. Read on!
Dear Fans,
There have been some rumors circulating about a possible breakup of the Fiddlers on the B�ze. I am writing these statements to not only debunk this myth, but to remind people of just how awesome I am. These are among the most common questions we have received via electronic comminique over the last few weeks.
1. Why do people seem to think that the FotB is breaking up?
Mainly because they are a bunch of morons. Just because we do not update the website on a "regular basis" does not mean we have disbanded. As a matter of fact, it means the creative juices are flowing so well that we cannot be bothered by petty shit.
2. Kyle, why are you so fucking cool?
Thank you, because I kick ass. Let us keep the letter focused on the band though, shall we?
3. Can we expect a reunion tour anytime soon?
Yeah right. Touring is for people like Britney Speares and the band Alabama. Do the Smashing Pumpkins or Rage Against the Machine tour? No. And they are still kicking ass.
4. Why aren't Berko or "Deaf" as cool as you are?
They either drink too much or not enough. I can never tell though because I am so trashed.
5. Is there a new record on the way?
Yes, actually. We will be posting some pictures soon, which will give a rare look into our creative process. This time, "Deaf" wounded me only once, and in the shin, so that should be a testament that we are working well together. Berko is too busy being a pretty boy and "being attractive to women" to really matter these days, but oh well; he still contributes in the form of supplying groupies.
6. Is it true that you are going to add another member?
The FotB has had a great history of being inclusive as long as you are a member of the band, so yes, we will add members of the band so long as they are already members of the band.
7. How is "Deaf" after rehab?
"Deaf" is doing okay, I guess. Rehab discovered that his depression was not caused by Evenescence, but merely triggered a long history of shitty music to be reminded to him at once. These days he can listen to "My Immortal" without causing physical harm to those around him. At this point, allow me to extend my condolences to the families of the people that were too close to the curb that fateful night "Deaf" heard that album.
8. Dude, why aren't you, like, king of the universe?
I am. Praise me, bitch.
9. What is with that "Right here u bitcheZ" map?
That's where it was. Bitch.
10. Are there going to be any new things added to the website?
Yes, "Deaf" wants to write a review of a band he has recently listened to called MXPX. The band calls itself a Christian Punk band, so we can all imagine that "Deaf" will have some interesting comments on it!
11. Dude, you must bang 100 girls a night you are so awesome!
Well, more like 67 �, but who is counting! If you would like to be part of "Kyle's Kinky Kittens", e-mail me! There is always room in my bed for more KKK members! (Note: At the advice of my legal counsel, I would like to make the disclaimer that "Kyle's Kinky Kittens" is not affiliated in any way with the evil KKK, the NRA, the ACLU, or the NFL.)
That is all for now. Keep the peace, you fags.
-Kyle "Curly Back" Boe-