”Good work! Today’s rehearsal is over!” said Kaoru after some hours of their hard work. Everyone sighed with relief and started packing their instruments. Except Shinya, of course.

“So we’re going to the same bar as usual, right?” asked Toshiya rhetorically. Die nodded at him, looking from the corner of his eye at Shinya. He was crouching, turned back to them and packing his stuff. When finished, he stood up and turned to them, looking guilty.

“Sorry guys, but I can’t celebrate with you today…” he started, but Die momentarily interrupted him.

“Why is it, Shin-chan? Did something happen? We are always…” Die looked confused.

“I just… have something important to do… Please, if you’ll excuse me…” he took his bag and left the rehearsal room, leaving Die stunned. Everybody was looking at him for a moment, waiting for his reaction. Finally Kyo approached him and patted his back.

“Don’t worry, Die-kun!” Die looked at his friend questioningly.

“That’s probably nothing serious, he will go with us next time like usual, you’ll see.” Die tried to smile, but did only stupid countenance.

“Yea, Kyo-kun is right!” said Toshiya cheerfully, grabbing Kaoru’s arm. ”Let’s go now celebrate!” Kaoru smiled at him meaningfully and they left. Kyo just winked at Die, took his bag and followed them. Die sighed, but slowly joined his bandmates.

How long was it already, since he was in love with Shinya? It was so painful and difficult to him. Why Toshiya and Kaoru could be that happy, while he wasn’t able to confess his feeling to his most important person? Everything was so complicated! It was probably the fear from rejection. He wouldn’t be able to bear it… But still…

>I’m so stupid!< thought Die to himself, sipping his drink, not seemed to be paying attention to what his friends were talking about. That was only worth with Shinya. They were always talking to each other. They were always spending such good time together. Always in this bar. And often only two of them. They were inseparable. But why they still have to be only friends? >It’s so hard… But if I lost you, I wouldn’t be able to bear it for sure. I don’t know, what would happen to me… Oh, Shin-chan, why aren’t you here with me?<

And of course all band members except for Shinya knew about it. But it wasn’t changing anything. They last step was undoubtedly Die’s duty.

But it wasn’t better neither the next, nor the other days. Shinya was constantly disappearing, without saying any word. But when he started asking, if he could also miss the rehearsal, Kaoru had to ask him to explain himself.

“What does it mean, Shinya?”

“Ano… I have to meet someone. It’s very important for me. Please, Kaoru-kun, only for today. You’ll be ok without me…”

“Hmm… Well, I don’t know…” Kaoru was smiling impishly.

“I beg you, leader-sama…!” Shinya had sparkles in his eyes.

“Yea, whatever… All right, but you’ll have to catch up on rehearsals, so you’ll be practicing more the other days. Is that ok with you?” Shinya looked extremely cheerful.

“Yay! Arigatou, leader-sama!” He quickly collected his stuff and left. Kaoru only observed him, shaking his head with a curious smile. >What’s with this Shin-chan?<

“Ohayou, minna!” Kaoru entered the rehearsal room, where everybody was already waiting. “So we can start practicing.” He took his guitar.

“Hold on a second, shouldn’t we wait for Shin-chan?” asked Die confused. “He’s always before the time, something might have happened…”

“Shinya is quitting the rehearsal today.” Kaoru interrupted him. “He was in such hurry, that I don’t know, what to think about it. Anyway, let’s start.”

Die plunged deeply in his thoughts and didn’t said a word over the whole rehearsal, which was strange as he was always talking, laughing and making comments. He had bad feelings about this whole situation… And soon it came out that it wasn’t unfounded…

***

“So this is my girlfriend, Aya.”(this is just simply the name. You can change it into any other, if you’d like ^^’ LtM) Everyone was staring at Shinya perfectly stunned, not able to articulate a single world. The girl shyly leaned out of Shinya’s back.

“Ano… Nice to meet you, I heard a lot about you all and wanted to meet you so much!”

She looked around, much more boldly and her glance stopped at Die, who froze. She took a few steps forward and approached him, smiling so, damn, irritatingly kindly.

“Especially about you. You’re Die-kun, am I right?” she reached out her hand and her broad smile momentarily died away, when Die turned back, took his bag and left the room as if she wasn’t there. Shinya also was too stunned, to react in any way… It wasn’t supposed to look like that at all… >What did I do wrong?< thought Shinya confused. Aya looked as if she was about to start crying in a second. The first, who regained his cool was Kaoru.

“Don’t mind him, he lately acts strangely.” The girl slowly nodded. “I’m Kaoru, the leader. And they are: Toshiya, the bassist (he gave Totchi meaningful smile and he smiled back) and Kyo, our vocalist.

“Nice to meet you.” Kyo winked at her.

“And this would be it.” Kaoru continued. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, cause we’re going to have a rehearsal and we need Shinya, as we already lost one guitarist for today.”

Girl’s eyes lit up dangerously.

“Hontou? Can I see your rehearsal? I always wanted to…”

Kaoru’s mouth already started to form the word “no”, but Toshiya was faster…

“Sure, why not?” The leader looked at him with rage. >We’ll have to talk later…<

“I will only sit here quietly and won’t interrupt.” She only assured them.

“Yea, whatever…” Kaoru murmured rather to himself, taking his guitar to give vent to his anger playing it.

But he couldn’t focus. And the girl wasn’t quiet at all. Shinya also couldn’t play properly, as he was stupidly smiling at her all the time. And Kyo couldn’t sing, because she was cutting in to ask him some questions. Eventually Kaoru couldn’t stand it any more and disposed the end of today’s practice, leaving everyone with the ‘why so quickly’ question in their minds.

“Kusoooooooooooo!!!” shouted Kaoru, banging the door of main entrance to the building… His pace led him to the familiar place, even before, he realized it…

>Since, I’m already here, I can come round for a drink…<

But he didn’t even manage to take a sit, when a loud noise caught his attention. Even before turning to the source of it, he felt terrible trouble…

And to make the matters worse, his trouble had bloody-red hair and was beating up another customers. Of course tables and chairs also couldn’t stay without any damages. Kaoru regained his consciousness, when he heard the barman’s words. Something about calling the Police. >Oh, shit…< He impulsively rushed to stop his friend. He grabbed his arms and blocked it from behind. Strong smell of alcohol momentarily hit him.

“Calm down, DIE!!! Control yourself!!!” he shouted straight to Die’s ear and shake him violently. Die didn’t know how to react for a moment, probably because of his astonishment. Kaoru looked at the man with almost the whole face and big part of clothes covered with blood, who pitifully tried to stand up from the floor.

“What happened here?” he asked.

“He said, he hate Shinya!” Die answered immediately.

“That’s not true! I said Shiina! SHII-NA!!! That’s my ex-girlfriend!” cried the man with faltering voice.

“He only now tries to excuse himself somehow! I heard with my own ears!” Die tried to tear out from Kaoru’s grip, so he had to tighten it.

“I swear, that it was Shiina!!!” the man was already crying. So far a lot of gaping spectators gathered. They seemed to have a great fun. Kaoru had enough of this already. And what’s more, he heard the muted voice of police sirens from far away…

“Die, we’re leaving!!!” he shouted to his ear and dragged him to the back doors. When they stopped in the dark, narrow street and Kaoru made sure, that nobody will now find them, he let go of Die, but just after that, he punched him using all his strength. Die staggered and leant against the wall. But, it looked like this strike helped him sober a bit. Enough at least, to hear Kaoru’s words.

“And what were you trying to do, you fucking moron!? Do you think, that trouble with the law is, what we desire the most?” Kaoru was shouting like mad.

“Demo… Shin-chan…” started Die quietly and Kaoru noticed a single tear, falling down his cheek. That made his anger momentarily die away. He felt pity for his friend. After all he was in such stupid situation now. To lose his love… And Kaoru regretted, that he beat him so hard. He approached the other guitarist and put the hand on his arm.

“It’s ok, Die, I’ll walk you home…”

***

When they reached Die’s flat, he immediately laid down his bed and fall asleep.  Kaoru decided that he should better stay here tonight and wait till the morning to talk to his friend, so that Die won’t try to do anything unwise.

Kaoru came out to be very thoughtful friend. When Die woke up and went to take a morning shower, he made a cup of coffee for him and prepared some medicines. Die was completely broken down and didn’t even know what to tell his friend.

“You stayed here for the night?” he finally dared to ask.

“Yea…”

“What about Toshiya?”

“It’s ok, I called him. He also agreed, that we shouldn’t leave you alone now. At least for some time…”

“Sokka…” Die lowered his head. Kaoru didn’t know, how he could comfort his friend a bit. The situation was hopeless. And what could Die do now about Shinya? Everything was lost. It was all Die’s fault, but how Kaoru could blame him for being shy? And Die loved Shinya so much and since such a long time… >My poor friend…<

“Ano…” started Die after a pause with hoarse voice. “I’m grateful, that you’re so kind to me, but, Kaoru-kun, I’d prefer to be alone at least for some days. I promise, that I won’t do anything stupid… I love playing guitar too much…” he wanted to smile blusteringly, but it was only a shadow of his usual, bright smile. “Is it ok with a band?” Kaoru mused for a moment.

“Ok, I can tell, that you’re sick and had to take a few days off.”

“Thanks, Kaoru-kun.” Die gave him a pale smile.

“But promise me, that you’ll take care of yourself. Remember, that we all need you. And you’re irreplaceable.” He winked.

“Yea, thanks. I’ll come back as soon as I clear my mind a bit.”

“We’ll be waiting. And remember, that you can always call us, when you have a problem.”

“I will.”

“So it looks like I’ll be leaving now.” Die nodded.

“Thank you once again…”

“You’re welcomed, sore ja…!”

“Bai bai!” Die waved with his hand and closed the door. Then sat down and drown in his thoughts.

>I really should control myself more. Poor guy… he was innocent for sure. Why did I have to beat him so hard?

I’m so stupid! Not being able to confess my feelings to Shin-chan for such a long time… And now he finally had found a girlfriend. He probably is very happy now. He looked like that. And I’m the loser. I should have predict it, that something like that will happen sooner or later.

Everything is my fault! Now I’ve lost him for ever… And how can I still play in the band and see him everyday full of happiness from being with another person? But not seeing him at all is even worse. My sweet, Shin-chan, how much I love you… Couldn’t you notice that? If I can’t have you, I don’t want anyone else. So I’ll stay close to you and will watch you from hiding-place. And will always care about you. I can do at least that much. After all so far, we also were only friends. But now, will I bear the view of him in arms of the girl…?< he based his head on his knees and was sitting like that for a longer while, worrying.

***

Near the evening, Die decided to go for a walk, to get a bit of fresh air. He was wandering along the streets, aimlessly. It was already starting to darken, when he noticed the familiar silhouette near one of shop windows. His heart immediately started beating faster, but how could he now speak to Shinya? It was far too early. He was standing like that, wondering, when Shinya turned to him and noticed the guitarist.

“Die-kun, ohayo!” he smiled cheerfully and waved.

Now Die hadn’t any choice. He gulped, tried to smile, and approached his friend.

“Ohayo, Shin-chan, what are you doing here?” he asked with normal tone.

“I just had some free time and wanted o breath with fresh air a bit …” he looked at Die questioningly.

“That was the same with me…” >You have a chance now!< was screaming Die’s mind. “Ano… if it is so, would you like to go somewhere with me for a drink or something and talk a bit…?” he asked uncertainly.

“Sure, why not?” answered Shinya cheerfully, again missing the real meaning of Die’s suggestion. “Are we going to the same bar as usual?”

“Ehehehehee… Maybe somewhere else today? Plus it’s a bit far away from here…” Shinya looked at Die searchingly. 

“OK…”

***

They were sitting at the bar, but not talking much. And the atmosphere was a bit thick. They both could feel it. And Die didn’t know, what he should say. After all, he was the one, who wanted to talk. But how should he start? Should he confess his feelings to Shinya, hoping, that it isn’t too late, but risk the relation in which they were now? After all, it may get even worse then…

“Ano…” Shinya’s soft voice interrupted his thoughts. “You disappeared so unexpectedly yesterday…”

“Oh, yes, I suddenly felt terribly sick. Apologize to your girlfriend from me, if she took it personally.”

“Of course.” Shinya smiled. “I knew, that it had to be something like that.” Die nodded, smiling, but his soul was being torn apart, because of the fact, that he had to mention Shinya’s girlfriend.

“And what about today…? Why aren’t you with her?”

“We just had a minor quarrel…” Shinya didn’t admitted to Die, that it was, because she said, she doesn’t like Shinya’s best friend and he had to quit seeing him if he want to be with her. That meant quitting band as well.

“Is that so…?” Die turned his sight. Shinya looked at his drink and suddenly burst into laughter.

“Ne, Die-kun, do you remember, how you first time got drunk, when we were drinking together?” Die couldn’t help, but laugh too, remembering the situation.

“Yea, that was terrible then…”

Since that moment, their conversation were running as usual and Die forgot about all his previous worries. Being with Shin-chan made him extremely happy and nothing else was important now. Alcohol was also very helpful in making them talk more naturally. But Shinya was the one, who drank amazingly much. Usually he barely finish one drink while Die was always drunk to death. This time, the situation seemed to reverse.

Before the eleven, Shinya was already completely drunk and started to act in not normal way for him, leaning against Die all the time and touching him. It was hard enough for Die to resist him, cause he acted in a really seductive way, not probably even knowing it. And after all Die was getting more and more drunk too. He felt, that one moment and he won’t manage to hold back.

“Neeeee… Dai Dai, you know something…?” Shinya asked with drunken voice, basing his head on the guitarist’s shoulder and winding the strand of Die’s hair round his finger. Die gulped saying nothing. “You’re such a dummy…” Shinya finished and burst into drunken giggle.

“Hey! I’m not!” Die pretended, that he felt very resentful. Shinya completely couldn’t control his chuckle. He stopped, when Die suddenly touched his cheek with his palm. “I’m not!” he repeated, looking deeply into Shinya’s eyes. They were looking at him now completely thrown. And they widened in astonishment, when Die unexpectedly kissed Shinya with his tongue exploring every area of drummer’s mouth. Shinya murmured in the kiss, with great pleasure, and responded to it, wrapping his arms around Die’s neck. Soon Die was kissing Shinya’s neck, going down gradually and his hands were searching for the lower parts of his body. Shinya didn’t protest in any way. That made Die filled with even more lust for his Shin-chan. Nothing else was important at that moment.

But Die came to his senses a bit, broking another kiss and leaving Shinya with half-open mouth longing for more.

“Let’s go somewhere else.” He stood up and helped Shinya, who momentarily clung to him, not quite able to stand using his own strength.

“Dai Dai…” he was murmuring from time to time, caressing Die’s chest with his palm. Die’s mind wasn’t completely clear at that moment, but he had one distinct thought. He won’t waste this chance, even if it will change everything into worse. However in actual condition, he only wished to reach his flat as soon as it was possible.

He had to climb upstairs carrying the drummer, but he was so light, that it didn’t matter to Die. Now only the lock… He thought, that he won’t open it for eternity, but finally the door opened, so he lifted Shinya and carried him straight to the bedroom.

Then laid him on it, this time having some problems with the clothes and moreover his struggle was all the time being interrupted by Shinya’s moans demanding more fondling, but he finally managed to help himself. He couldn’t wait any longer, but yet whispered something to Shinya’s ear.

“Shin-chan, who do you really love?” his heart somehow already knew the answer.

“I love Die… I always did…” Shinya’s words made Die almost explode from happiness, especially, when he then saw Shinya spreading his legs for him.

“I love you so much too… and from so long…” he only whispered and then entered Shinya…

The climax let them drown into the peaceful land of sleep…

***

Waking up, Shinya felt warm and save. It was such a nice feeling… He wanted it to last a bit longer, but had to open his eyes as rays of the noon sun was already playing with them, disabling him to sleep any more.

But something was wrong. He really was sleeping in someone’s arms, that was hugging him protectively, with care. He couldn’t fail in recognizing this bloody-red color of hair. And sleeping Die looked so cutely… like a big kid. >But how could this happen?< wandered Shinya. >And, what is more important, what really had happened here?< He started to suspect something and this thought wasn’t pleasant. >Wait a minute, what happened yesterday? I must have got drunk… Oh, God…< the stream of his thoughts was broken, because Die was most clearly waking up as well. >What will I do now?< Shinya gulped. Die looked at him, with admiration, smiling broadly.

“Ohayo, my sweet love.” He lifted on his arm and kissed Shinya in his cheek, but the drummer didn’t react. He was too frozen because of the guitarist’s words. >I’m… what?< “Shinya?”

“I-I… we… could you please tell me, what happened?” Die smiled impishly.

“Now, you fully became mine…” Shinya searched in his mind for any possible interpretation of this words, but couldn’t find any, beyond this most obvious. >Oh, shit!<

“I… what…?”

“Come on, don’t tell me, that you don’t remember anything at all. It would be a huge waste then…” Shinya was completely stunned. And started to get more and more angry. He wanted to free himself from underneath the counterpane, and then realized, that he was completely naked. As well as Die. He blushed, but somehow managed to localize the place of his clothes (In fact, they were scattered on the whole floor along with Die’s.)

“Getting up so fast?” Die caught Shinya’s hand. He was then already half-dressed. Shinya rapidly tore his hand out of Die’s grip. He slowly turned to face Die, who got scared because Shinya looked like a volcano just about to erupt. And then he exploded…

“You fucking, stupid idiot!!! What do you think were you doing stealing my virginity!!!!???” Die couldn’t restrain a smile.>So this is it, I got you then…< “… I thought, that you were my best friend! While you made me drunk to use me in such dirty way!!!” Die noticed the tears in Shinya’s eyes, so stopped smiling, and rushed to hug him, but was pushed away. “How can I now face Aya…?”

“Demo, Shin-chan…”

“I don’t want to listen to you, I’m leaving!” he was already dressed and ready to go. It was obvious to Die, that everything is over now, but he couldn’t just let him go…

“But, you said, you love me…!” Shinya stopped just before the door. “When I asked you, who you love, you had only me on your mind, no one else!!!”

Shinya shivered. But after a pause, shook his head and shouted, without even turning to face Die. “I HATE YOU!!! AND I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN!!!” he banged the door, and ran downstairs and then out of the building. He was running aimlessly along the streets, not even knowing where, because his eyes was filled with tears. >How could this happen? How could he do something like that to me. And why only now…?< he slowed down his pace and stopped crying.     >Right. Why now, when I had my live almost set up? I loved you before! And I was keeping this feeling down in me, because you didn’t show any interest in me at all! How could you all of sudden…?” He thought about Aya and immediately realized, that he after all still loves Die. In spite of what he had done. >Maybe I shouldn’t have told him such things… He may be broken down… And even something bad can happen… What should I do?<

He wondered, if he should go back to Die’s flat, when passing by one café’s windows, his sight for a split second recorded the familiar-looking person at one of the tables.

He entered the café and wanted to attract Aya’a attention, but before, he shouted anything, he saw a man approaching the table, and greeting his girlfriend by no means like a friend or a family. The closest table next to theirs was separated with some plants, so Shinya sat there, getting mad again. >What does she think?< He caught the fragment of the talk:

“Don’t worry…” that was Aya’s voice. “He only now is a bit pissed off, but he soon will apologize to me and will do everything, I’ll tell him.” A moment of silence.

“Well…” man’s voice

“You’ll see! I’ll marry him, got the divorce with huge aliments and then I will have money so that I can afford to marry you… You must just wait a little bit…” Shinya could imagine the man smiling and nodding. But he didn’t cared about it. He intentionally dropped the cup on the floor. It broken and got everyone’s attention. Also those two. Aya paled to death. Her acquaintance as well.

“I’m so sorry…” Shinya said to the waitress, but with such tone, that Aya knew, it was also addressed to her. “It’s all over!”

“Don’t worry, such things happens…” the waitress thought, that Shinya was worrying because of this broken cup. He smiled, took out his wallet and gave her some money.

“That should be enough, sorry for the trouble…” The waitress was stunned, because she probably never get such big amount of money from any customer.

“A-A… arigatou…” she stammered, but Shinya was already on the street, running madly toward Die’s place.

***

Shinya was running so fast, that he could hardly catch his breath. When he climbed upstairs, he thought, that his lungs will blow up, but he didn’t pay attention to it right then. He pushed the door. They, to his surprise, wasn’t locked. Short glances everywhere. Not here, not here… not here either. >Die, where are you?< Shinya was depressed. Nowhere…  >What will I do?< The terrace! He run there like crazy and saw Die. He was leaning against the balustrade and smoking a cigarette, but dropped it, when Shinya suddenly clung to him, embracing him tightly with his arms.  Die didn’t know how to react at first. Shinya nestles his face to the guitarist’s chest and was sobbing and shivering convulsively. Die pressed his body tighter to his own and stroked Shinya’s back. They were standing like that for a longer while, until Shinya had no more energy to cry. He raised his head and looked at Die, who delicately wiped his tears and kissed his forehead. He didn’t want to ask about anything.

“Die…” started Shinya, but his voice broke.

“It ok…” whispered Die with quieting voice. “I’m here for you. Nobody can hurt you…”

“But I hurt you!!!” Shinya’s tears fall again. “How could I have told you something like that? And while it was all wrong…!” Die was waiting, curious, what Shinya had on his mind. “It was just the opposite…” now at Die’s face hope was readable. “Die, I love you! I always did! But you never…” he burst into tears again. Die hugged him and tried to calm him down.

“Don’t cry! I love you too. You can’t even imagine, how much… I don’t know, what I would do without you.” Shinya stopped crying and looked at him. “Now, I see, that I should have told you about my feelings…” Now Shinya was looking at his questioningly. “I love you, since I first met you. But I didn’t want to destroy everything, cause I thought that it was better to have you as the best friend, than losing you…”

“Die!” Shinya hugged him even tighter. Die lifted his chin, and kissed him lightly.

“I love you so much, my beauty.” He stroked Shinya’s cheek. “But what about your girlfriend?” Shinya shook his head violently.

“She doesn’t exist for me anymore!”

“So desu ka?” Die smiled. „Don’t cry now, no one will hurt you again, because I’ll be always next to you. I’ll always protect you and care for you…! So it’s no need to be afraid.” Shinya wiped his tears and smiled as most cheerfully as he only could.

“I won’t! I trust you, because I love you…” Die smiled broadly, then leaned to give Shinya a deep, passionate kiss…

***

Kaoru and Toshiya was in the rehearsal room, waiting for the others to come. But the bassist, was peacefully sitting and ameliorating his manicure (;P), while Kaoru was walking along the room and raving mad. >I won’t bear her presence again! Never! Never!< Suddenly, he heard the door opening.

“Go away, you fucking bitch!!! I don’t want to see you again! I don’t care, that you’re…” he stopped, because, he realized, that in doors was Shinya and Die, holding hands like a pair. That took his tiongue away completely.

“Who are you calling that obscenely, Kaoru?” asked Die.

“I-I was just…” Die was looking at him urgently. “…trying the lyrics for the new song…”

“I thought, that was Kyo’s role…”

“Well…” Kaoru felt really stupid, but then, both Die and Shinya burst into laughter.

“Don’t worry, Kaoru-kun, you don’t have to see her ever again.” assured Die. “And you will have both the guitarist and the drummer forever.”

“That’s good to be heard.” Kaoru smiled.

“I’m so happy too!” shouted Toshiya, moving from his place. “You should be together long time ago.” Shinya blushed.

“But nothing is lost yet.” Die embraced him with his arm, pressing closer.

“That’s right.” Whispered Shinya shyly.

“So why don’t we go somewhere in four instead of practicing?” suggested Toshiya, but soon regretted it.

“Don’t you even think about it! The last rehearsal was total catastrophe! We still aren’t perfect, and we have live performances quickly approaching.” Toshiya covered his ears with his palms.

“Ok, ok, don’t shout so loudly!”

Shinya and Die chuckled.

“So maybe in the evening?” Kaoru pouted. “Come on, my love, I know, that you aren’t mad at me…” Toshiya clung to Kaoru.

“Fine, we’ll go, if you want it so much…” Toshiya smiled, everyone seemed to be satisfied.

Soon afterwards, Kyo arrived and they finally could practice peacefully.

~OWARI~

I admit, that ending is not very good. I could have end it only with this before the last stars, but I just had to write about Kaoru acting like that! He is so sweet *^.^* Now, I count on your comments!!! – LtM