„Aaaach... Yoshiki-sama!!!” Shinya was drooling over Yoshiki with the flushed cheeks, watching probably the hundredth time the same videotape from X’s live. Now was his favorite fragment, when his idol throws his drumsticks at the audience. Shinya’s cheeks redden even stronger. /He’s so cool! I should at least once try to throw it at Die! Wait, why I think of that asshole right now?! I don’t want to think about him! Stupid jerk! He distracts my date with Yoshiki-sama!/ “Oooohhh! My Yoshiki-samaaaa!!!!
***
In the morning Shinya woke up full of energy. He always had good dreams after all-night watching X’s concerts. The dream, in which Yoshiki-sama first was teaching him how to play drums and then, and then… Shinya felt strong blush and unwillingly covered his face with his palms and shook his head. “Well I gotta go!” he managed to calm down a bit. He took his jacket in one hand, keys in the other and before he left, he approached the wall and kissed the big poster with Yoshiki. Shinya then pressed his hands to it and rubbed his cheek on the paper. “Wait for me Yoshiki-sama!” But he couldn’t pass indifferently by the poster of Dir en Grey with three red circles, drawn exactly where Die was standing. He raised his two fingers as if he was aiming and then shooting. “Die!” he shouted. But immediately realized, that he only called out Daisuke’s nickname instead of wishing him death. He gritted his teeth in anger and quickly banged the door. /Kuso!!!/
When Shinya stepped in the rehearsal room, nobody was there yet. Only his drums waiting for him obediently. “Yoshi!” Shinya exclaimed, taking his drumstick and rushing to sit behind it. /What can I play first?/ he thought. /Maybe Celebration? Why not?/ Then he started to play, trying to imitate Yoshiki’s every move. He never did that when the other bandmates were around, because they may think, that Shinya wants only to mime other’s style, but doesn’t have his own, and, what’s more, they might find out about his little, secret obsession. He was so absorbed by playing, that didn’t notice a particular red-haired person arriving. Die was staring at him like paralyzed, until he finished the song.
Shinya took a deep breath and then opened his eyes, only to froze, because of what he saw. /Ups…/. Die was the first, who gained his voice back.
“Naruhodo, Shin-chan. So you’re deep into X-Japan.” Shinya blushed strongly.
“Don’t call me that!” he screamed.
Die smiled with satisfaction. “So it’s Yoshiki-san. Hmm…”
/How could he know the band hearing only drums line? Could it be, that he also listens to X?/
“Is >Celebration< your favorite song?” Die asked. Shinya opened his mouth in disbelief, but quickly shut it” /How could he recognize the song even? Could it be that he listens to it so often, that he can hear the single line?/ Die noticed the confusion on Shinya’s face, but couldn’t help teasing him.
“You can’t even imagine, how cute you looked right now.”
Shinya felt his cheeks burning.
“Urusai!” he screamed. He wanted to say more, but just in that moment the rest of the band came, including their marvelous vocalist in the rear, yawning and rubbing his eyes.
“Ohayouuuuuuuu!” he yawned.
“Yo!” said Toshiya cheerfully.
“What did we miss?” asked Kaoru.
Shinya lowered his head, wanting to hide somehow from their sight. He expected Die to say something to make him even more ashamed.
“Our drummer is in splendid condition today. You only watch his play!” Die said it almost proudly. If Shinya didn’t know him, he would think, that Die was praising him. But it was obvious, that he wanted to tease him.
“All right then, let’s practice!” said their leader.
The rehearsal went without any problem, if one won’t count some minor squabbles between Shinya and Die. When Shinya was ready to leave, Die asked him:
“Ne, Shin-chan, wanna me to walk you home? I can’t allow something bad happening to you.”
Shinya shuddered. Then turned to Die with flames dancing in his eyes.
“Daaaaaai – suuu – keeeee!” he started angrily. “Quit calling me Shin-chan! I’m not a kid anymore! Besides, I can take care of myself!”
“But you’re so cute, that anybody might want to attack you.” Die grinned.
“In a moment, I’ll attack you! And nobody will help you!”
“All right, all right! Only joking, ok? I’m leaving. Take care, minna.”
“Ghrrr…” said Shinya, when Die left. Toshiya and Kaoru was chuckling at the side. “What’s so funny?” Shinya turned to them.
“It’s unbelievable, how much Die likes you.” said Toshiya holding his belly.
“Likes? He’s so annoying! I can’t stand his presence! It’s impossible for him to like me. And vice versa.”
“Oh, Shin-chan, you shouldn’t be so cruel!” said Kaoru, still smiling.
“And you’re also against me! I’ve got enough for today. See you tomorrow, guys.”
“Bye” said Kaoru.
“Otsukete, Shin-Shin!” Toshiya waved at him.
***
Shinya returned home late, very exhausted, but couldn’t at once fall asleep, because of strange thoughts flowing into his head. /Daidai, anou yarou!/ He thought about what Toshiya had told him earlier. Of course, if Die wasn’t as he was, Shinya probably would like him a lot. But it’s not probable for Die to like him. He probably hated him. That’s why he was teasing him all the time. He probably wanted Shinya to quit the band. But never! He will do just the opposite, to make him angry! With this thought, he kindly fall asleep.
He dreamt, that he was with Yoshiki-sama, and suddenly, to his horror, he turned into Die, who wanted to embrace him, grinning madly. Shinya woke up with a mute scream on his lips.
/That brat! He’ll pay me for interrupting my dreams even!/
But when he looked at the calendar, his mood improved much. Today the new Yoshiki’s fotobook is being released. He quickly prepared to go and went a bit earlier, cause he wanted to visit a bookshop (po drodze)
Yes! It was there! His new, beautiful, shining, still warm fotobook with Yoshiki-sama. Shinya was looking at it with sparkles in his eyes all his way to the studio. He only once bumped into somebody, but apologized and didn’t pay any further attention as he was too much absorbed by watching Yoshiki’s photos. When he reached the rehearsal room, he was in such good mood, that he thought, today not even Die could damage it. He was wrong.
“Ne, my sweet Shin-chan. Are you free tonight? Shall I finally ask you out on a date?.“ asked Die with his usual teasing tone.
Shinya was speechless for a moment, before he managed to gain his voice back.
“I-I’m not sweet! And I’m not yours! And how many times will I have to tell you not to call me Shin-chan!”
“But I can’t help it! It’ such a sweet name. It suits you, because you’re equally sweet.”
Shinya blushed.
“N-no, that’s not true. I mean I…You’re much more… handsome, I mean…”
/Damn it! Why am I telling compliments to this moron? I oughta tell him something to plunge him completely./
Die laughed smoothly.
“Have you at least started to have dreams about me yet?”
Shinya quivered.
/No, he can’t know! Calm down, Shinya./ He finally got his attitude back.
“That would be nightmares, I suppose.”
Die grinned.
“Now, what are you hiding behind your back?” he asked.
Shinya forgot to leave his new fotobook in place, where nobody would find it.
/Aaaa… Shimatta!/
“Don’t be so mean! You can show it to Die-oniisan!”
“Bleeee!” Shinya stuck out his tongue on him.
Die only frowned.
They couldn’t continue quarreling, cause Toshiya and Kyo arrived, so each of them started to prepare their instruments to playing. (Kyo was preparing the microphone in fact). Then suddenly Kaoru opened the door with loud rumble.
“Ne, minna, kitte! I have a magnificent piece of news for you! We’re going to release an album! And guess, who agreed to become our producer?!”
Silence was all his reply.
“Well then,” continued Kaoru cheerfully. “Let me introduce you… “
The man with blond hair, in dark, long overcoat entered the room, removing his sunglasses.
“…Hayashi Yoshiki-san!” Kaoru finished.
Shinya blinked in disbelief, and then everything around him went black. He would have had a rough meeting with the floor, if Die hadn’t been conscious enough to catch him.
“Oh, my… “said Yoshiki.
Die laid Shinya on the couch in the next room and shouted at Toshiya to bring some water. But there was no need. Shinya almost immediately regained his consciousness. He opened his eyes and the first, what he saw was Yoshiki staring at him worriedly.
“Waaaaahhhh!” he suddenly stood up and looked at his hands. They were empty. Then he rushed to the place where his coat had been laying, but found only a black marker. /Where is it? Where is it?/ He looked briefly in the direction, where Die was sitting, waving at him with his fotobook.
“Are you looking for this maybe?”
Shinya gritted his teeth, ran to Die and tore the book out from his grip. Then stand before Yoshiki and bowed, stretching his hands with footobook and marker in it forward.
“Could you, please, sign it for me?” he dared to ask.
Yoshiki looked a bit confused. There was a moment of silence, than Kaoru reacted.
“What do you think you’re doing, Shinya?” He pushed him away from Yoshiki, coincidentally straight into Die’s opened arms. But Shinya quickly freed himself and now was standing and listening.
“Yoshiki-san is now our producer! Do you want him to resign the first day, because you act weirdly.”
“It’s ok, Kaoru-kun, don’t worry.” Shinya looked at his idol. “Ano…” Yoshiki’s words were now addressed to him. “You’re Shinya-kun, right? You bumped into me some time earlier, but you didn’t notice, cause you seemed too much into something else.” Shinya blushed noticeably but said nothing. Yoshiki continued: “Of course, I can sign it for you, but you’ll now be seeing me quite often, so I don’t know if it’s…”
“Hontou?” Shinya cut in with dangerous glints in his eyes. Yoshiki looked at him stunned. “Aaaaa… I’m so happy… I mean… Nice to meet you, Yoshiki-sama!” he bowed again, still unable to believe in his good luck. He only couldn’t notice a pair of brown eyes staring at him jealously yet with desire.
***
Over next few days, since they moved to Yoshiki’s studio, Shinya was so full of energy and happiness, that nothing could possibly destroy his mood. Even Die wasn’t such a bother for him. In fact Shinya hardly could notice his presence. And they didn’t talk much. To tell the truth Shinya couldn’t recall any of their conversation since Yoshiki-san become band’s producer.
But he seemed to start getting used to Yoshiki’s presence. They could now talk to each other much more naturally. But Yoshiki didn’t want to discuss with Shinya how he should play drums. He kept saying, that Shinya has his own style and he didn’t want to exert any influence on him.
Shinya couldn’t of course admit to him, that he has already did it highly. Yoshiki was the person, because of whom Shinya started playing drums. Thanks to him, he overcame his inbred shyness and believed that he can achieve something in his life. He wanted to shine as much as his idol. His style also seemed to be copied from Yoshiki’s earlier, when he used to wear beautiful long hair and dresses. Yes this was it. He now lived for Yoshiki’s sake. And the shape of his present life was formed mostly by him. Yoshiki had to suspect something, though, at least because of what had happened the first day they met. But since than, he never mentioned that situation.
One evening Shinya decided to compose a song to prove Yoshiki-san that he isn’t only a player. Yoshiki did most of X’s arrangement. The fact that Yoshiki used to be the drummer just like him put even more pressure on Shinya. He also could arrange something! He even had an idea already.
***
The next day, after their rehearsal was over, he told Kaoru and Toshiya, that he want to compose the song and for the beginning only one guitar will be enough for this. He didn’t want to admit to them, that simply Die’s presence wasn’t wanted by him.
“So can you guys help me today? I promise it won’t take that much time.”
Kaoru got an impish idea.
“Sorry, Shinya, but I’m not available today and I won’t be over about a week. Only usual minimum-time rehearsals. It happened that my family from Kyoto is visiting me and today I have to pick them up from the airport. And my car is unluckily right now at mechanic’s workshop, so Toshiya agreed to give me a lift. He’s so nice…” Kaoru gave Toshiya meaningful glance.
Then looked at Shinya waiting for any response, but he was only starring at them with sad countenance.
“But I’m sure Die’ll eagerly help you. We can add bass line and second guitar later. But at least we’ll have some basement. Let’s ask him…” Shinya didn’t made it on time to refuse, cause at the same second Die emerged from the corner of corridor, and headed toward them.
“Ne, Die-kun…!“ Kaoru shouted even before Die approached them. “Shinya wants to compose a song, can you help him, cause we have some business to do today? “
Die looked at Shinya and smiled warmly.
“Sure, why not?”
Shinya was stunned. Was it really Die, behaving so nicely? He noticed that he was quiet for a bit too long.
“A-ach…domo, Daisuke.”
“So we’ll be leaving now.” said their leader. “Have fun, guys!”
“And make a marvelous song for us!” added Toshiya.
“You can count on us.” replied Die and waved them, before they vanished from his sight. Than he turned to Shinya.
“Shall we go to the rehearsal room?”
“Hai…” said Shinya hoarsely and followed the redhead.
Kyo was always the first person to leave and now it was far after the time he left. Shinya felt a bit constrain being alone with Die. Especially first time after that long break. And besides, it seemed somehow different than before. He wondered if Die’s attitude had changed. Or maybe it was himself? Anyway none of them said anything vexatious. Because of that both of them were talking hardly anything, only what was really necessary. The atmosphere seemed quite tense indeed.
That was why Shinya couldn’t gather his thoughts properly. He had the rhythm, but it was missing something. It was like without any spirit. Die was playing exactly, how he was telling him to, but still it wasn’t perfect. The drummer was even more annoyed because of that. He started to suspect, that he isn’t able to make a good song after all and after numerous attempts, he stopped playing and seemed to break down.
Die noticed it and had an idea, what was the reason of this. In fact he was observing Shinya furtively all the time, since they started.
He was about to tell something comforting and then suggest a bit different guitar line, but then, unfortunately (^.^ ha ha, I’m a little akuma, ain’ It? ---LtM) the old Die awakened in him.
“Well, can’t compose a song, can you, Shin-chan? “ he said, grinning impishly.
Shinya looked at him incredulously. Then rallied and decided to defense.
“Oh yes? And you aren’t helping me at all. There’s nothing wrong with my play, your guitar line is incorrect. Kaoru would play it better for sure!”
Die was deeply resentful.
“You said you want to compose a song all by yourself and that I only do what you tell me! Fine then! Listen to this!”
He played a few chords, similarly, but a little bit different from how Shinya wanted him. It sounded good.
Shinya gulped.
“Now play! But you play this first, and then that one, and here a little bit faster, here you must do it a bit more gently…” He was pointing particular drums. Shinya was listening like hypnotized, but tried to remember everything. He was a pro after all!
Die grabbed his guitar back, played some single notes and then gave a sign to start.
Shinya surprisingly didn’t make any mistake. What’s more it sounded great. The song was splendid. Still without basses and vocal, but yet… so perfect.
Shinya was too stunned to speak. Die seemed satisfied.
“So how was it?” he asked. “How do you like >my< version?”
Shinya was even more dejected.
“I admit, you arranged wonderful song.” He said humbly. “I guess, I should give up composing songs.” He lowered his head.
Die then felt sorry for him. Maybe he overdid it. It wasn’t supposed to be like that anyway.
“No you can’t!”
Shinya looked at him in astonishment.
“You can’t give up only because of one failure! Besides your idea wasn’t bad! It only needed some modification and it’s good that you are not alone to do it.” he smiled to him brightly.
Shinya seemed comforted a bit.
“Yea… it seems so…” he rubbed his eye. “Thanks, Die.”
Die widened his eyes.
“You’ve just called me Die for the first time.”
Shinya was surprised.
“Is that so?” He usually called him that in his mind, but could it be, that he never said it aloud?”
“I’m so happy!” Die continued.” Shinya was too confused to react. “You know, what? I’ll tell others that you’ve made this song by yourself, if you go with me out for a drink today.”
“That wouldn’t be fair. You’ve just said that I have to do it with my own strength.” Till now he didn’t realized what Die just said to him. “If I do… what? he asked uncertainly.
“I knew, that you won’t agree…”
“Of course not!’ he exclaimed. “I’m not going out with such a stupid jerk. How can I be seen in public with a moron, who had completely screwed up my song?!”
“So this is how it is going…!” Die smiled evil. “Than I’ll make you go with me!”
Before Shinya could know what was happening, Die lifted him in quick, strong grab and hanged him over his shoulder heading towards exit.
“Put me down, you stupid fool!” Shinya was struggling, screaming and hitting his fists against Die’s back, but all in vain. Die was dangerously nearer and nearer the main exit.
“You aren’t going to carry me like this in the street, are you…?!” Shinya was desperate.
“Why not? You’re my hostage now!”
“You’re insane! Let me doooooown!!!!!!”
Then Die suddenly stopped.
“Hm?” Shinya felt him, putting him back on the floor. Than, when he turned round, to his horror, he saw Yoshiki.
His blood went hot in his cheeks. Die didn’t know what to say. What if Yoshiki will get mad because of their reckless behavior in his studio and abandon their band? He was waiting, till he’ll say something to tell them off, but nothing like that happened.
“Oh…” was everything, what came from his mouth. He looked at them meaningfully and then simply walked away, smiling to himself.
/Those youngsters! I wish I were their age again. hide…/ thought Yoshiki.
As he disappeared, Die looked at Shinya curiously. But immediately got scared. He looked like a volcano, just about to erupt.
“Shin-chan…” he started.
“You asshole! How could you embarrass me in front of Yoshiki-san!? What can he now think about me?!”
“Calm down, nothing that bad happened…” Die tried to soften the situation.
“Not that bad? You think it wasn’t bad!? I’ll never forgive you! I hate you, idiot!!!” Shinya quickly ran out of the studio.
Die was standing like frozen. His whole heart and soul have just been torn apart completely.
***
“Kanpai!” toasted Kaoru and Toshiya together. They were sitting in Kaoru’s apartment.
“Ne, Kao-Kao, are you sure, we did the right thing?” asked Toshiya confused.
“You have also noticed it, haven’t you? Those two are meant to be together, but somehow can’t mate themselves. You’re obliged to help friends.” He winked to Toshiya, who mechanically lowered his head, in order for Kaoru not to see his light, but noticeable blush.
“Demo…” he started again. “It was so risky Kao-chan. I didn’t know anything, I could’ve given you away!”
“Ahahaha! The perfect occasion just came up so suddenly. It’s great, that you can predict my ideas!” he smiled broadly. Toshiya seemed to be fighting against his thoughts.
“Well, I’m not quite sure… Shinya sometimes seems to obviously hate Die…”
Kaoru laughed briefly.
“Don’t worry so much. They will either get at each other’s throats or start a relationship.” Kaoru grinned. “I can guarantee.”
Toshiya wasn’t sure if it was good thing for them to kill each other, but well…
“You worry far too much, Totchi! Try to relax a bit!” Kaoru seemed to drain already about his third glass, while Toshiya was sitting with one, only half-emptied. “It’s certain, that we’ll have a new, great song. Let’s toast for the success of our soon coming album! Come on, I’ll pour you some more! But first you have to drink, what you have.”
Toshiya drank everything in one gulp and gave his glass for Kaoru to refill. It wasn’t so bad after all! In fact it was delicious!
After few more rounds Kaoru was sitting with his head rested on his arms, that was based on the table top. His glance turned to Toshiya, who seemed to be drowning in his thoughts again.
“Ne, Toshiya-chan…” Kaoru started, his voice husky, because of a great deal of alcohol, or maybe something different.
“Yes…?” asked Toshiya still absent with thoughts.
“Do you know how beautiful you are?”
“Yes…” Toshiya nodded. “Eeeeh?” he realized, what Kaoru had just told him and his cheeks reddened intensely. “Aaaaa… I’m…” He wasn’t able to finish as Kaoru quickly grabbed his wrist, and pulled him to himself in a strong embrace, pressing they lips together in a long yet a bit rough kiss. As Kaoru broke, he saw Toshiya with closed eyes, and mouth still parted, longing for more. But then, he slowly opened his eyes and looked at him.
“Kaoru…” his words were imbued with desire and lust.
Kaoru stroked his cheek affectionately and then started half-kissing, half-sucking on Toshiya’s neck, going slowly lower, to his chest, trying to unbutton his shirt at the same time. Toshiya pressed Kaoru’s head to his chest, his slim fingers were running between guitarist’s hair.
“Kaoru, I…” Toshiya’s voice sounded so seductive to Kaoru.
He put his finger on Toshiya’s lips, but then couldn’t help brushing his lower lip with his thumb. Toshiya parted his mouth in an urgent need.
“You don’t need to say anything…” Kaoru quickly covered Toshiya’s mouth with his in another passionate kiss. They were kissing for a long time, as if they were in the desert and finally found water. “I want to make love to you…” Kaoru’s voice became even more husky, which drew Toshiya almost out of his senses. “Will you agree?”
Toshiya slowly nodded, not being able to avert blushing, what made Kaoru even more lustful.
“Yes…” he whispered. “Please, take me, Kao-chan…!”
Kaoru lifted him and carried to the bedroom, the way man is carrying his bride. Toshiya wrapped his arms around Kaoru’s neck as if he didn’t want to let go of him.
As he wanted to lay Toshiya on the bad, the bassist clang to him so tightly, that Kaoru fell on him. He was far too drunk, but it made him so full of desire!
He tried to undress Toshiya properly, but was being interrupted all the time, by the bassist’s moans, demanding more caresses. But finally both of them was like they where made.
Kaoru kissed Toshiya hungrily, and then run his tongue on bassist’s neck, then his chest, taking his one, then another nipple in his lips and sucking, before it hardened. Next showered Toshiya’s abdomen with light kisses, going gradually lower and lower.
“Please!” whispered Toshiya huskily. Kaoru covered his length with his mouth and started to move them. Toshiya suddenly curved from excitement and came. Kaoru swallowed, then brushed Toshiya’s hole with his finger and looked at him meaningfully. Toshiya slowly nodded and spread his legs. He felt a fist of pain, when Kaoru entered him, but it immediately turned into pleasure, as the guitarist started to thrust into him rhythmically. Their moans became louder and louder and finally they both climaxed. Kaoru freed himself from him and slowly fall on the bed next to Toshiya. The bassist yet managed to wrap his arms around Kaoru’s waist and lay his head on his chest, before they both fell deeply asleep.
***
Shinya was sitting in front of Yoshiki’s poster in his room, embracing his legs, and cursing.
“Stupid, stupid, you’re so stupid, Shinya! And you…” Shinya addressed his words to the poster. “You are only a human, you know? Not like you’re a God or something!” He exclaimed accusingly. “Of course, you know. I’m the one who didn’t want to admit it and because of his foolishness had hurt his friend. I overdid it! So what if Yoshiki-san saw us? He is just a normal person! He used to be like we as well! How many times I had seen it on tapes?!” He leant his forehead on his knees. “And Die was so nice to me today… Well not all the time, but still… And what will happen to our song? We haven’t even noted it! And this was so good. So optimistic and somehow… comforting. But now he probably will never want to talk to me again!” he stopped for a moment. “And his embrace felt so damn good. So warm and kind…” he blushed unwillingly. “You fool! What are you thinking about? He probably now hates you even more! And you should hate him back just like you used to!” he mused for a moment.
“Hatred, ka…? Does he really hate me? Than, why would he like to invite me out for a drink? To tease me? No. He sounded serious, as if he wanted to celebrate our hard, but successful work. Maybe Toshiya was right after all. Than I’m the villain here again! Daidai was so nice to me… And I told him that I hated him! But then, why had he treated me like that before? I can’t understand anything!” he shook his head.
Then he looked on DeG’s poster, to be precise on Die, and suddenly felt childish and immature. He stood up and in one second tore it off from the wall. “I’ll have to get a new one.” He hesitated for a moment. “And there is one more.” He carefully unstuck Yoshiki’s poster and rolled it up.
“I don’t need you anymore.” He stated, but almost with tears in his eyes. “Now I can live with my own strength! I won’t be miming you anymore!”
“I got to apologize to Die…” he added after a pause.
***
Die was sitting at the table or already half lying on table top. He was trying to drown his sadness in around the seventh glass of vodka, but it wasn’t helpful at all.
“I’m such a fool!” he thought. “Now Shinya doesn’t want to see me ever again! Idiot Die! That’s because you can’t show him your feelings properly. Yes… He’s so frail and delicate… I’d like to protect him, but the only thing, I do is teasing him. How much I’d like to embrace him… To be able to feel his heat… to stroke his silky hair…to touch his full lips…to caress his skin… to care for him…So sweet, so beautiful… Yet so strong… It’s obvious, that you can’t love me. How can you even like such a jerk? And it’s my own, damn, fault… But living without being able to hear your voice everyday, to see your beautiful face and perfect body… Does life like this make any sense? I don’t want it! I won’t bear the fact that Shinya hates me… I can’t stand the fact, that he can’t be mine! I desire him so much! Now, I’d lost my only chance… I’m so hopeless. If only I had the assurance, that death means forgetting… But I don’t have any… However, I’m not able to live like this…
***
Even before he opened his eyes, the first thing, Toshiya felt was unbearable headache. He cursed in his mind, and slowly opened his eyes, wondering, what might have happened last night. But as he saw the ceiling above him, he realized, that something wasn’t right. What’s more, he felt something warm next to him. Someone’s arm was wrapped around his waist! He looked at sleeping man. Kaoru! Than he remembered a bit of yesterday’s events. They were discussing about Die and Shinya and drinking, and then drinking, and later drinking, and after some time, they were drinking, but then… Toshiya’s memories were blurry, but he remembered lust, pleasure and… something else. Affection? Yes, he liked Kaoru for some time now. But he would never thought, that Kaoru could like him that way… Or was it only because of alcohol? Yet, he was so happy! Being with Kaoru… He wouldn’t even dream about it!
He leaned on the other man and slowly touched his lips with his own, forcing them to open and so making Kaoru wake up.
Kaoru felt someone kissing him and when he saw Toshiya, he smiled broadly, with satisfaction and cupped bassist’s cheek with his palm. Toshiya smiled back to him, delighted with Kaoru’s pleasant warmth.
“Mmmm…” murmured Kaoru. “What a beautiful dream…!” Toshiya’s behavior changed rapidly.
“That’s not a dream, baka!” Toshiya broke from him, but quickly clung to Kaoru even tighter, as if he was afraid to separate, embracing him, and running his fingers over his skin.
“Kao-chan…! You are so good! I want to belong to you! Oh, Kaoru…”
Kaoru was a bit surprised, but hugged Toshiya and stroked his back, going gradually lower. Toshiya groaned. The smile of satisfaction appeared on guitarist’s lips.
“Now, Totchi, my love, tell me what happened?”
“What?!” Toshiya momentarily lifted himself on his arms and looked at Kaoru. “Don’t tell me, that you don’t remember anything?” he looked quite pissed off.
Kaoru seemed to have a problem indeed.
“We were drinking…”
“Yes…”
“And drinking…”
“That’s right…”
“And then drinking…”
“Kaoru!”
“God, I can recall hardly anything, from what happened next.”
Toshiya pouted.
“But I do remember the most important thing…” The bassist looked at him waiting. “That I had feelings for you for quite long. I regret, that it happened like this. I just couldn’t resist you. I shouldn’t have drunk that much.” He stopped for a moment. “But if you would somehow agree to be with me…”
He couldn’t finish, because Toshiya gave him a hug and he felt something wet against his skin. He lifted Toshiya’s chin and licked up his tears.
“Don’t cry, my sweet.” Toshiya sobbed. Kaoru kissed him gently. “Will you be my lover now? Toshiya nodded, trying to wipe out his tears, but just couldn’t stop them from flowing. It were tears of such true happiness.
“Yes, Kao-chan…” he exclaimed. “I had also been liking you for some time now. I’m so happy! And you will never abandon me, will you? He squeezed Kaoru so tightly that he could hardly catch his breath.
“Of course not!” he said “You are too precious to me. And besides…you already belong to me, don’t you?” Toshiya blushed, but smiled with satisfaction.
They were lying like that for a next while, wanting to enjoy each other’s proximity.
“Ne, Kao-Kao, want some medicine for your headache?” Toshiya eventually asked.
“When I have you near me, no headache is vexatious for me!” Toshiya blushed cutely. “But, if it’s not a problem…” Toshiya cheered.
“Ne, let’s tell others, that there is no rehearsal today.” asked Toshiya finally.
“Well, not that bad idea.” Kaoru smiled guilefully. Toshiya smiled back to him.
“So I’ll call everyone.” He slipped out from under the counterpane and tried to collect all his clothes. It wasn’t so easy indeed, but he finally managed to dress. Kaoru also lazily extricated himself from the bed and did the same. Toshiya by now was dialing Kyo’s number. Kaoru wrapped his arm’s around his waist from behind and laid his chin on Toshiya’s shoulder. Kyo answered after the fifth signal.
“Nande?” he asked.
“Aaa… hello, Kyo. It’s Toshiya here. I only… Kaoru asked me to tell you that there’s no rehearsal today…”
“!@#$%^&*” >unintelligible murmur, but appeared like cursing<
“What?” Toshiya couldn’t understand him.
“You woke me up only to tell me that today I can sleep a bit longer? To hell with you!” he rang off.
“So what did he say?” asked Kaoru.
“Well, it seems that he is happy to sleep longer today.”
Kaoru laughed outright. “He is such a sleepyhead.”
“Wait a minute, didn’t he had a telephone, that shows you the number of who is calling you?”
Silence.
“Don’t worry, he probably won’t notice anything. He was too sleepy.” Kaoru assured him.
“Yea, you’re right.”
***
Kyo hanged up the headphone and by the way saw the number.
/Wait a minute,/ he thought /It was Kaoru’s number and Toshiya was calling. Hmm…/ he smiled. /They must have slept together tonight. Well, whatever, I gotta sleep!/
***
But neither Shinya nor Die answered the telephone. Their cell phones also were silent. Kaoru and Toshiya got a bit worried that something bad might had happened. After all they were all the time fighting with each other. What if something really bad happened? So they decided to pay a visit, first to Die, because they had already known, where he had lived.
They were hanging on the doorbell quite a long time, but nobody answered.
“Shit!” Kaoru leaned on the door and then the door opened. He almost lost his balance, but when he entered the flat, he saw something terrible. Die was lying on the floor in strange, abnormal position like coiled in convulsions. Around him were a lot of mostly crashed bottles, and pieces of broken glass. His face was pale and his chest wasn’t working.
Kaoru quickly rushed to him and grabbed his wrist.
“Toshiya, call an ambulance!” he cried in horror.
Toshiya stiffened when he saw this view. But came to his sense hearing Kaoru’s scream. He called an ambulance than helped Kaoru to resuscitate their friend. They were terrified. Die might have been not breathing for some time now. It may be too late.
“Kuso!!!” Kaoru was desperately pressing Die’s chest. “Come back! We need you!” Toshiya was crying uncontrollably.
“Damn it!” Kaoru hit strongly and subsided on the floor, lowering his head. “We can’t do any more…” he whispered through tears. Toshiya was sitting like he didn’t know where he was and what was happening. It was like a terrible dream. A nightmare…
But then he heard coughing. He looked at Die and lifted his head so that he could expectorate what was blocking his lungs.
/Oh, God! Help us!/ Kaoru thought and then heard the ambulance signal. The doctors and sanitarians with stretchers ran in. In a moment they were in the ambulance, speeding madly to the hospital…
***
Shinya was walking along the pavement, wondering, what he should tell Die. He decided to apologize to him, but it wasn’t as easy as it might seem. But he have to do it! He had put so much effort in finding guitarist’s address. It would probably be much easier to call him, but he had never asked him for the number. He had never needed it before.
Suddenly he heard the ambulance and then saw it. In this hour the street was crowded with cars and it was very hard for it to break through.
/People, can’t you move a bit?/ he thought irritated. /Somebody can die because of you!/ But the ambulance somehow managed to drive further. Shinya speeded up his pace putting hands in his pockets. He felt by touch his cell phone and remembered that he had forgot to turn it on, so he did this now.
He found the address quite easily. But the door wasn’t even properly shut. He gently pushed them and it opened. What he saw than took his breath away. Everything was in mess. Splinters of glass all around and stains on the floor. First he thought that it had to be mad party, but then noticed some packages of medicines on the table. It was just next to the frame with the photo. And on this photo was Shinya… He was starring at this in disbelief. It was a piece of one of DeG’s poster and it was the fragment with him. /What does it mean?/ he thought /And what might have happened here?/ His thoughts was dancing like frenzied. The signal of his cell phone brought him back to this world.
“Shinya here.” he said.
“Shinya, where have you been?” Toshiya cried with faltered voice. “We are in hospital. Arrive here quickly. Die is almost dying.”
Shinya shivered. /Die… what have you been trying to do…?/ He run out in the street. /The ambulance…It had to be it. Oh, God…!/
The hospital was quite near, of course. But he wish he had a car. But on the other hand this traffic jam. Anyway, he was running so fast, that could hardly catch his breath. His lungs were burning and his flank ached, but he didn’t pay attention to it. If because of him… No! He didn’t even wanted to think about what might happen. And now, when he finally started to understand something… No! It can’t be true! /Die!!!/
He entered the hospital like insane. The nurse in reception was scared of how he was asking about his friend, but told him the number of the room. The numbers was blurring, he didn’t know if it was sweat or tears, but he somehow found that. He opened the door and slowly fall on the floor. The last, what he saw was Die lying on bed, connected to some terrify machinery and Toshiya approaching him with confused countenance. Then everything went black.
Shinya slowly opened his eyes and found himself lying on doctor’s couch. The doctor was taking from his mouth the mask with oxygen. Behind him was standing Kaoru.
“Are you stupid?” he yelled when he noticed that Shinya was awake. “You ran so fast that your lungs couldn’t keep up working!
Shinya blinked and tried to collect his thoughts. His chest was aching like hell.
“It should be okay now.” said the doctor. “He only need to rest a bit. You can lay here for some time.” he ordered Shinya.
“No!” the drummer immediately sat down on bed. “I must see Die! What happened to him!?” He grabbed doctor’s overall and shook him desperately. Kaoru lowered his head.
“You mean this boy with red hair?” Shinya nodded feeling something squeezing his throat.
“He obviously overdosed alcohol, but also took some drugs, that when reacts with alcohol can be even death-causing. His organs was severely poisoned. Now we’re clearing it. This will take some time, but he will live. However if your friends hadn’t find him and gave first-aid, we wouldn’t be able to do anything. It was the last moment.” Shinya was starring at him hopelessly, speechless. Tears were already running down his cheeks. He lowered his grab.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me…” said the doctor and left.
Kaoru sat on the couch next to Shinya and delicately embraced him. Shinya started sobbing quietly.
“It’s okay now…” he tried to comfort him at least a bit. “You need to calm down. He will live for sure. I can assure you. I’m the leader after all! I didn’t give him my permission to die. And Die can’t just die so easily. This is the meaning of his name. Shinya slowly stopped crying and tried to smile to Kaoru, but failed.
“Now, can you tell me, what happened yesterday?” the drummer looked like he was about to start crying again.
“Okay, you don’t have to tell me now! If you promise me that you stay calm, we can go see Die.” Shinya nodded. “He is just next room. Totchi is with him.”
Shinya entered the room, where Die was lying and slowly approached the bed. Toshiya sitting there was observing him in silence. It was terrible view to Shinya. Die was so pale, so miserable… and all those cables…He reached out his shivering hands and grabbed Die’s palm. It was so cold. He wept quietly. Toshiya wanted to touch him, but Kaoru put his hand on his shoulder. The bassist looked at him and Kaoru made a “no” sign with his head. Toshiya stood up and they both left the room leaving Shinya and Die alone.
Shinya was kneeling on the floor, resting his head on Die’s chest. He didn’t even want to move.
“Oh, Die… How can this be happening? How could you do such thing? Oh, It’s all my fault…! But why would you… because of me…? I didn’t thought, that I would mean something to you! I wouldn’t then have said it. I didn’t really mean that I hated you! Deep inside I liked you… even very much… Till now I didn’t realize it. God, please, don’t let it be too late…! How I acted was a mistake! I’ve already finished with it. So please, open your eyes…! So that you can explain everything to me! So that I can apologize to you and you will say, that you don’t hate me for this…! Please, wake up…! Die…!” But all, what Shinya got in response was the rhythmical beeping of the apparatuses. He sobbed silently.
***
“Ne, what will we do now?” asked Toshiya confused. They were standing in the corridor, next to the coffee automate.
“He will soon wake up. We have to believe in this.” replied Kaoru.
“But what might have happened that he… so terribly…”Toshiya was about to cry again. Kaoru embraced him delicately.
“I think, they must have had a fight. You were right after all. We shouldn’t have left them together. Oh, right. We should inform Yoshiki-san, that for some time now, we won’t have any rehearsals and concerts, not even mentioning photo sessions…” Toshiya nodded. Kaoru already started dialing Yoshiki’s number on his mobile phone. Yoshiki said that he would arrive at hospital as fast as he could. But he still had some work to finish. They called also Kyo, who first thought, it was some kind of joke and didn’t want to believe them, but finally rushed to the hospital.
This whole day Shinya was sitting there like in trance. He didn’t even notice Yoshiki’s entrance. After some hours, Kaoru had to force him to sit on the chair next to bed. But he didn’t want to let go of Die’s hand. And he didn’t want anything to eat. When they asked him, he only said “It’s all my fault.” Everyone really were worried. At evening Toshiya brought a blanket and covered Shinya’s back with it. They told him, they were leaving and that will arrive at the very morning, but he didn’t seem to hear them.
“It must be a huge shock for him.” said Toshiya later to Kaoru.
Kaoru nodded sadly. “I hope, he just will be all right despite it…”
When they arrived at the hospital next morning, Shinya was feeling a lot better. He noticed when they entered the room and greeted them with sad smile. He looked so miserable… Pale, with congested eyes, as if something was burned off inside of him. He seemed to be awake the whole night.
“Shinya, can I take you downstairs for breakfast?” asked Toshiya confused.
Shinya shook his head.
“No, I’d rather stay here. I have to apologize to Die when he wake up.” Both Toshiya and Kaoru didn’t know what to do. It was so painful to even think, that Die may not wake up at all… But they had to believe! That was all, they could do now.
“So…” started Toshiya again. “Maybe I’ll bring you something to eat. What about that?” Shinya looked as if he didn’t care and made no reaction. Toshiya made a worrying face.
“That’s a good idea!” said Kaoru. “Bring something for us also. As I now think of it, we didn’t even eat proper breakfast.” Toshiya nodded and left.
Kaoru sat next to Shinya, who was still deep in his thoughts.
“Ano…” he started. “I know, that it must be very difficult for you, but sometimes, when you have something bothering you deep in you heart, it helps, when you say it aloud.
Shinya looked at him questioningly.
“What happened, when we left? For what you have to apologize?” continued Kaoru.
Shinya clenched his teeth, two single tears flown down his cheeks.
Kaoru sighted with resignation.
“I… “ started Shinya. “You know, we composed a really good song…” he tried to smile to Kaoru, but only managed to make a strange look. “It wouldn’t be that good if I did it all by myself. But then we had a fight and I said, I hated him. He probably will never forgive me. It wasn’t really a fight. It was just… because of my stupidity… and he was so nice to me… how could I say such things… If because of me he will… No!” he started to cry again, burying his face in his palms.
“But you didn’t really mean that, did you?” asked Kaoru with firm voice. Shinya looked at him surprised. “You didn’t mean that you hated him?” Shinya slowly shook his head. “What do you feel toward him then?”
Shinya was silent for a moment. But finally spoke.
“I…I like him… quite a lot.” he lowered his head. “I didn’t even realize it, how much I liked him. It was all wrong! I thought just the opposite! And he didn’t make it easier at all. But I somehow needed him all the time. Even despite his attitude… I need him now. It’s so cruel! Why everything has to be complicated that much?!”
“So now, you acknowledged, what Die really feels toward you?”
Shinya slowly nodded.
“I saw the photo. How ironical… Do you know that I had a poster on my wall with target drown on him. I was so blind…”
“It’s not your fault. It’s just because, he wasn’t able to show you his feeling properly. It’s probably because he didn’t have feeling like that for anyone ever before. You’re so special to him, he can’t hate you. Everything will be all right, believe me!”
Shinya nodded, tried to wipe his tears and this time smiled for real. It was the smile full of pain and suffering, but at the same time filled with hope and belief. Yes! Now Shinya was sure of it. This man with bloody red hair was very precious to him. He will do everything to get him back.
Toshiya carefully opened the door, trying not to turn over the trash, he was carrying. Kaoru immediately rushed to help him and put the trash on the small table.
“I brought coffee and sandwiches.” informed Toshiya. “Will you now eat with us, Shinya?”
“Yea… “ he said timidly. Kaoru smiled to himself gladly.
Gradually the atmosphere had thinned a bit. Later Kyo also came round and Shinya was talking normally with everyone. But he was very exhausted. In late evening Kaoru succeeded in persuading him to go home and take a god rest. He assured him, that he will stay with Die this night. Kyo offered to drive Shinya home, as he was probably too tired even to walk.
“You can go home, Totchi, if you want.”
“No, I prefer to stay with you. There are two spare beds next room.”
Kaoru smiled.
“Ok, as you wish.”
After evening doctor’s round and examination, he stated that Die doesn’t need the machinery anymore and that now he only have to rest.
“It’s just normal sleep, but very deep.” he told Kaoru and Toshiya. “His organism has to regenerate. It will take some time…”
So he was decided to be disconnected from the apparatuses.
“He will probably be very hungry, when he’ll wake up.” The doctor winked to them.
They didn’t look completely convinced, but doctor’s words filled them with hope.
***
Toshiya lazily rubbed his eyes and yawned. He looked at Kaoru, but he still was in the land of sleep. He decided to check what’s going on with Die, before he’ll wake him up. The door to Die’s room was ajar, so Toshiya firstly peeped in. He rubbed his ayes again and looked one more time. Die was sitting on the bed, staring at the window. He quickly returned and woke Kaoru up. It wasn’t the nicer way of waking, but, well, he was too excited.
“Kaoru, Kaoru!” Toshiya was screaming straight to his ear, shaking him violently.
“Wah…!” Kaoru rapidly sat on the bed and looked unconsciously at Toshiya. “The fire, or what…?
“Come, quickly!” Toshiya grabbed Kaoru’s wrist and dragged him out of bed, straight to Die’s room.
Kaoru was standing like paralyzed, when he saw, what he saw. But Toshiya’s voice called him back to reality.
“Maybe he had lost his memory?” he asked whispering.
“Baka, it only happens in stupid soap operas!” (anyone, who wrote such fic, please don’t be mad at me, I just HAD TO write it. Mexican and Brazilian or whatsoever soap operas are just so much fun… >_< --- LtM)
Kaoru opened the door widely and stepped in. Toshiya followed him. Die didn’t even looked at them, so Kaoru had to hem. Die looked at them, surprised.
“Oh…” he said.
“Oh?” repeated Kaoru irritated “That’s how you’re greeting your friends?”
Die laughed shortly, but his eyes remained sad. Toshiya noticed it.
“Sorry, sorry, take a sit! ”You’re here so early?”
“We were sleeping here and looking after you…” Kaoru said with reproach.
“Eh? Hontou?” Die pretended to wipe tear, because he was moved. Then smiled to them. “I can only count on you, guys. You’re really true friends! I’m so glad.”
“We saved your life.” said Toshiya proudly “Mostly Kaoru did.”
“Yea, yea…” Kaoru waved with his hand. “But the one, you truly should be grateful to is Shinya.”
“Is that so…? asked Die bitterly.
“Yes.” Kaoru continued as if he didn’t felt irony in Die’s voice. “Only since we informed him that you’re in hospital, he ran here so fast, that he finally lost his consciousness. And then he was sitting next to your bed all the time, holding your hand. Over whole first day, he didn’t even want to speak to anybody, like he didn’t notice us. We were here only this night, because, thank goddess, yesterday evening we managed to convince him to go home and rest a bit, cause he looked like a zombie… And we had to promise him, that we will look after you…
“Stop it!” Die shouted. “I…I’m sorry… I mean, please don’t try to comfort me. I know that it can’t be true, and it’s so mean to delude me like that!” Kaoru looked touched.
“It’s not a lie, Die.” Toshiya started. “We were worried about Shinya’s health…”
“Yea, and you know what?” Kaoru cut in “He was crying all the time. He was in deep despair. What have you done? Now explain yourself!” Toshiya tried to calm him, but the fire of anger was already burning in Kaoru’s eyes.
“Oh… I just drunk a bit too much and when I felt headache, I wanted to take some medicine. I had to take wrong.”
“You’re terrible liar. How long do you think you were unconscious? You took almost whole your medicine-chest!” Die was staring at him with a stupid smile. “What have you been thinking? I’m the leader and I didn’t let you do it. You’re lucky, that you didn’t succeeded in this. Then I would kill you!”
“Huh?” Toshiya looked at him surprised. Kaoru realized, what he just said.
“Anyway, I will kill you, if you ever try to do something like that again! And if Shinya will be suffering because of you! And do you think, we can allow losing one member just before releasing an album? Then we would never release it!” Kaoru was shaking with rage. Toshiya this time grabbed his arm and calmed him, because he was afraid, that the guitarist might do something unwise.
“Na…” Die was scared a bit. But he grinned and waved his hand. “Sorry, Kaoru-kun. It won’t happen again…”
“Ghrr…”
“So how long?” asked Die with calm voice.
“What?” Kaoru didn’t know what he meant.
“How long have I been unconscious?”
“Two days.” said Toshiya.
“Sokka…” /I should be for ever…/” Die bitterly thought. “I had today very morning the examination done and the doctor said, that one more, and I will be free to go home…”
“That’s right.” Doctor just entered the room. “I’ll now take you with me. And I will let you on condition, that your friends will properly watch you.
“Ha ha ha…” Die felt stupid. “Wait a bit!” he turned to his bandmates. Then followed the doctor.
They returned after some time and Die was all happy.
“We can go!” he said.
“Is it okay, doctor, to let him already…?” asked Toshiya worryingly.
“Of course! We don’t have enough free space for some dummies.”
/Great, even the doctor is teasing me…/ Die thought, but smiled to his friends.
“I think, I will take a walk home…” he told them, after the doctor left and he was dressing. “I was lying stiff far too long…”
“And whose fault is it?” Kaoru was still a bit pissed off. “We have to look after you now!”
“Don’t worry, I’ll just obediently return home… I promise! You can believe me.”
“I’m not sure… What do you think, Totchi?”
“I think, he’s got, enough, he won’t do anything stupid.”
“Totchi…!”
“Thanks Toshiya!” Die smiled triumphantly.
Kaoru clenched his teeth. Toshiya poked his elbow in his ribs.
“So… ok, have a nice walk. But remember, what I had told you.”
“Don’t worry, friend, I will.” /For sure…/
***
Only when Shinya returned home and bid farewell to Kyo, he fell on his bed and drowned into deep sleep. When he awakened it was already noon. He decided that probably he doesn’t need to hurry so much and first, he will take hot bath and eat proper breakfast, but of course, he wanted to see Die so much… So he hurried and ran out of his flat. Good thing, that the hospital wasn’t that far away from it. But he ran at the trot, remembering not to overstrain himself. Yet he wanted to see Die as fast, as it’s possible, even though it was filling him with sorrow, when he sees Die in current condition. He was always so healthy and lively. And seeing him without his vitality was so painful… Shinya shook his head, to clear his mind from these pessimistic thoughts. He must believe… Suddenly he passed a florist’s and slowed down. /Maybe I will buy him flowers?/ he blushed unwillingly. /Is it okay, to buy flowers for a boy?/ Shinya already turned round and was slowly walking toward the shop. /But he still is unconscious, so it will be only for his room to look a little less sadly. And I don’t have to buy red roses. These are for girls. I will buy…/ he crossed the entrance. And first what, he saw and smelt was beautiful freesias.
“Good afternoon, how can I help you?” the assistant asked.
“Um…ano…a bouquet of freesias, please.” He stammered timidly. As he now recalled, it was the first time for him to buy flowers. The shop assistant only smiled and looked at him meaningfully. /God, why am I doing it?/
Shinya paid and quickly ran out of the shop. /I wasted so much time now! I want to see Die!/ Now he was again madly running along the pavement, forgetting that it may be harmful to him. He had to deliver this flowers immediately. He was so much absorbed with his thoughts, that didn’t even pay attention to the way before him. Suddenly, he hit somebody, and would certainly fall down, if this one hadn’t catch him.
“Ach… sumimasen…!” he quickly ran farther, not even looking at stranger’s face and forgetting about the flowers. The stranger bend down, and picked them. /In such a hurry… probably girlfriend, isn’t it? Ne? Shin-chan…/
Shinya gradually slowed down and stopped. /Wait a minute… This warmth… somehow familiar… Could it be…? No impossible… / But he would swear that in a split second, he saw red color… Bloody red… He slowly turned round. Die was standing there staring at him sadly and with longing. Only few seconds, he was standing there like paralyzed. Then took deep breath, ran forward as fast as he can an clang to Die, so quickly and so suddenly, embracing him so tightly, that he staggered, and would almost fall.
“Die…!”
The flowers fall on the ground again. But neither of them pay attention to it. Shinya was crying, pressing his face to Die’s chest and tightening his fist on his shirt. Die was trying hard to collect his thoughts. He was too astonished… /Could it be that Kaoru and Toshiya was telling the truth after all… Than is it possible that he…/ Passers-by started to gather and make comments.
“Bad thing, buddy…”
“Do something with her…!” Obviously Shinya looked exactly like a girl, so whole situation looked only like lover’s quarrel.
“You don’t think, that you will let the girl cry like that…?!”
/All right…/ thought Die /Everything or nothing! / One hand he wrapped around Shinya’s waist, and with the other he lifted his chin and kissed him vehemently and deeply, pressing his body tightly to his own. The crowd begin to cheer. Shinya’s eyes widely opened, but then slowly closed and without his control, tears started to run down his cheeks again. But this time it was different. It was like dream… Like nightmare, which finally turned into beautiful dream… When Die finally broke the kiss, he looked at Shinya, kindly smiling with affection. Shinya was speechless and couldn’t even move. They were standing like that for a longer while, looking at each other. Die was holding Shinya in his arms. People already started to disperse. Eventually Die let go off him, picked up the bouquet and gave it to Shinya.
“Here, it was yours.” he turned as if he wanted to go, but once again looked at Shinya. “And also… I love you…” then he walked away.
/How naïve of me!/ he thought bitterly, /that Shinya would have >that< kind of feeling toward me… At least this kiss was worth it, even if he will never want to see me again…/
Shinya didn’t know, what was happening, but finally gained his voice back.
“Wait, Die!” he shouted. Die stopped and slowly turned round. Shinya ran toward him.
“Flowers was for you!” he said with reproach, pressing the bouquet in Die’s hands “And why are you saying something and not even waiting for response…?!” Die was only starring at him, waiting. Shinya lowered his head. “I… I love you too, you know?” he whispered timidly. “Even though you’re so stupid…”
Die blinked a few times in disbelieve, but then couldn’t help taking Shinya in his arms.
“Is it true?” he kept asking.” I’m so happy!” He was holding Shinya tightly, stroking his hair from behind. “I truly was a fool! I couldn’t act properly. If I had lost you, I don’t know, what would have happen to me.”
“DaiDai, I can hardly breathe!” Shinya whispered. Die lowered his embrace a bit, but not enough for Shinya to free himself and kissed him in his forehead.
“It’s no way, I’ll now let go of you… So that I will lose the most precious thing in the world.” Shinya blushed.
“But not in the street! Let’s go somewhere else!” Die looked in his eyes.
“Good idea, I’ve never been in your flat before.”
“Well, it’s like… You know…” But Die already grabbed his hand and started walk. But stopped.
“Where is your place?”
“Okay, I’ll lead you.” Shinya said, trying to free himself. Die, however didn’t want do let go of his hand, so they were going like a couple. Die was beaming with happiness.
***
They both entered Shinya’s apartment and only when Shinya closed the door and turned to Die, wanting to say something, he felt guitarist’s lips on his own. He closed his eyes and slowly parted his lips, letting Die’s tongue slip in. Die gently pressed their bodies together, stroking Shinya’s back. After their mouth parted, Shinya based his head on Die’s arm and they were standing like that for a while, enjoying each other’s warmth. All words were useless. They finally managed to find each other. And found true happiness.
They spent whole day together and in the evening Shinya fell asleep, sitting in Die’s lap and nestling his cheek in guitarist’s arm. Die kissed his head, then delicately lifted him and carefully carried to the bedroom. He undressed him and covered with quilt. Die laid next to him, on the quilt and based his head on his hand, wanting to admit Shinya’s sleep. He looked sweet indeed. Die was so happy to be able to see it. But soon afterwards, he himself also felt sleepy and fall asleep there, next to the drummer.
***
Shinya opened his eyes, when he felt first rays of the sun on his face and saw a bloody red next to him. At first, got scared, wandering, how they happened to be in his bed together, but then noticed, that Die had fallen asleep in clothes. /I see… Die, you’re so sweet…/ He lifted his head, to wake Die up with the light, shy kiss. Die purred, opened his eyes, and smiled broadly, seeing his the most important person next to him.
“Good morning, my love” he whispered.
“Die, you’re such a dummy… You could have caught a cold sleeping here.”
“Having you next to me is enough to warm me up…” Shinya blushed, lowering his head. Die sit on the bed and stretched.
“Ne, Daidai…”
“What is it?”
“Maybe… if we will go to the studio, before the others, we can practice our song a bit… I mean… If you remember how to play…”
Die looked at him.
“How can I not remember the song composed together with my Shin-chan?” Shinya smiled.
“I’m not…” he started this time only, to tease Die a bit, but the red-haired man interrupted him with a kiss.
“Yes you’re mine.” He whispered with husky voice. “And you’re Shin-chan, you can’t help it.”
“I guess not…” Shinya giggled and kissed Die’s cheek lightly.
***
They stepped in the rehearsal room, and Shinya momentarily rushed to his drumset, taking his drumsticks, and sat behind it, ready to play. Die smiled, seeing it and took his guitar.
“So, shall I start?” Shinya nodded his head eagerly.
They played it a few times, making yet some minor corrections, and then the song was perfect. Shinya finished playing, than stood up, and ran to Die, wrapping his arms, around guitarist’s neck.
“I’m so happy! This song is perfect!”
“Yes.” said Die, embracing Shinya with one hand and with the other laying back his guitar. “Our song.”
This moment Kaoru and Toshiya entered the rehearsal room. They were holding hands and talking with affection. They noticed Die and Shinya and everyone was dumb stuck. Toshiya wanted to tear out his hand, but Kaoru held it even stronger.
“You guys finally together?’ he asked addressing his words to Die and Shinya.
Shinya’s cheeks reddened., but he didn’t let go of Die.
“Yes.” said Die “We’re finally happy. What about you two?”
“Well, it was kinda accidentally, but…” started Kaoru, but Toshiya interrupted him.
“We are together!” he exclaimed.
“That’s good.” Die smiled to them. Toshiya felt a bit embarrassed. “Would you like to listen to our song?”
“Sure!” said Toshiya.
“Didn’t I tell you?” Kaoru whispered, winking to him.
The song was wonderful indeed. Toshiya only hearing it, grabbed his bass guitar and told them to play again, but this time played with them. Kaoru shook his head with admiration, when they finished.
“That will be great material for a single.” he said.
At that time Kyo entered the room.
“Minna, listen! I wrote marvelous lyrics!’ he shouted.
“That’s the most proper time, cause we have a new song.” said Die.
“Though we must yet work over it a bit.” added Toshiya.
Kyo nodded, speechless from astonishment.
“What is the song about?” asked Kaoru.
“About love.” Everybody twitched hearing that. “What?” Kyo asked, after quite a long while, when he didn’t got any response from them. “You think, that I can’t write a good song about love?”
“It’s not like that.” said Shinya with calm voice. “We think, that it will be the most appropriate lyrics for this song.” He smiled to Kyo mysteriously. Kyo didn’t fully understood, what this smile meant, but smiled back and nodded.
They decided to work over this song together today and trying also with vocal. They was playing and Kyo was singing, when suddenly the door opened and Yoshiki entered. Everyone at once stopped playing. Shinya frozen. Die gritted his teeth and clenched his fist. Kaoru and Toshiya looked at them, afraid of their reaction.
“Ohayo, everyone!” said their producer as if nothing had happened. “I have a great news for you! We are ready to record your album. It’s planned to be on sale next month.” Kyo was the first, who broke the thick silence.
“That’s great!” he exclaimed. Then everyone started cheering, Die and Shinya also, forgetting about what Yoshiki meant to them before, regarding him only as their producer, thanks to whom they can finally be heard by people. Because they could tell people a lot through their music, and they wanted to tell the whole world, how immensely happy they were.
~ OWARI ~
How was it this time? Please, tell me, what you think! I want to know every reader’s opinion! ^.^
