Another surprise was the all around group effort that went into cleaning up the kitchen, and before long Daisy and Rose were saying goodbye to their guests. Benji linked arms with Mary and forced her to skip with him down towards their rooms, the hallway extending before them, Mary�s hair flipping animatedly with her movements. Tilting her head to the side as she watched the two friends, Rose took mental note that not much had changed since fourth grade between them. The feeling was reflective of the feelings she had towards Daisy and she couldn�t help but smile. Her focus changed as she felt a pair of eyes boring into her and she flicked a glance at Joel, her cheeks turning a little pink as she caught his gaze dead on. Terrified to press the issue but somewhat desperate to know if she was good for her word, Joel lifted an eyebrow in subtle inquisition. Rose nodded her response, her expression calm, but mentally kicking herself for accepting his proposition.
As she ducked back into her apartment to grab her purse, she found Daisy already in her pajamas, curled up comfortably in the corner of the couch, her stature cat-like as she read her latest romance novel. Sensing her departure, Daisy tore her eyes from the grayish-white pages of her paperback and asked, trying to sound casual, �Where are you headed?�
�Oh, I�m gonna go hang out over at Joel�s I guess�� Rose�s voice trailed off, unable to find an excuse or explanation for her decision to go out.
Daisy nodded slightly, knowing all too well that if she made a commotion over it Rose would toss her purse on the couch and pull out a book of her own, refusing to move, so instead she went back to her reading, mumbling quietly, �Alright. Have fun.� Her smile was hidden from her friend by the hair that fell in her face as she hung her head to read.
Rose shook her head slightly, ready to object the unspoken thoughts she knew her friend was thinking but decided against it. It would be ridiculous to make a big deal out of this, and she appreciated her friend�s maturity in the matter by leaving it alone. She waved slightly before turning to leave, muttering a quick, �I shouldn�t be too long�� as she pulled the door shut behind her and Joel.
�Dinner really was great,� Joel said lightly as they walked, practically on other sides of the hallway, down to his room. �I�m sorry about not telling you we were vegetarians. I swear I didn�t even think about it�I�m an ass��
Rose could tell he was being sincere, so she shrugged it off, trying to reduce his discomfort. �It�s really not a big deal, Joel. I know you didn�t do it on purpose, and we took care of it. I�m just glad you were fed.�
Joel nodded and smiled, trying the doorknob to his apartment and finding it locked. �Fuck, Benj must be at Mary�s�you wanna run down there with me real quick? I don�t have my key�� Rose nodded and followed him to room 417, leaning against the wall as he knocked, fiddling uncomfortably with the strap to her purse as they waited for someone to answer. The strum of a guitar could be heard from inside and Rose could hear Benji�s raspy voice singing softly.
��are we interrupting something?� Rose asked Joel curiously.
�Nahh,� Joel knocked again, a little louder this time. �Benj always runs our new songs by Mary before we play �em for the other guys. It�s like luck or some shit. They�re probably just hangin� out,� he glanced up at Rose and saw the question reflected in her eyes. �They aren�t together or anything--�
He stopped speaking abruptly as the door flew open and Benji�s eyes moved from Joel to Rose and back to Joel, his mouth set in a scowl. �What?� he grunted at his brother.
�Yo man, I forgot my keys�let me get yours.�
Benji eyed Rose once more before growling, �You know, I was trying to figure out some chords,� he complained, but as he spoke his hands dug deep into the pocket of his red plaid pants, and he produced a skull and cross bones key chain, containing only four keys, which Rose assumed probably went to his car, his apartment, and his house at home. The fourth key was a mystery to her.
Joel snatched the keys from Benji�s painted black fingernails with a grin. �Thanks brother,� he smirked.
�Sorry to bother you,� Rose offered politely. Benji nodded and then waved, shutting the door rather abruptly in their faces. Rose glanced at Joel, �He�s a moody one, huh?� she asked lightly.
Joel laughed a little, turning back towards his own apartment, and Rose followed. �Yeah, you could say that. He�s just really closed off, you know�doesn�t really like new people, doesn�t trust easy�that kinda thing�� he fumbled with the lock momentarily before pushing the door open to the apartment he shared with his brother.
�And you do?� Rose asked, her eyes scanning over the surprisingly clean living room. She noted the small portion of the living room dedicated to various musical appliances including a small mixer and two guitars, one of them acoustic. A small amp also rest in the corner with a few scattered microphones and far too many cords for Rose to count. A notebook laid sprawled open on top of the amp and Rose could see that the scribbles inside had been written with a heavy hand.
��Do what?� Joel asked, flicking the light switch on.
�Trust easily?� Rose asked again, turning towards him, watching him toss Benji�s keys on a nearby table, slipping his T-shirt over his head casually to reveal a solid white wife beater tank top, tucked into his dark denim jeans which were held in place with a firm black belt, Rose swallowed heavily, admiring the simple star tattoos that rested on each of his shoulders. They were bold and stuck out dramatically against his somewhat pale skin, looking almost 3-D.
�No,� he answered with certainty, smoothing down his slightly disheveled hair and tossing the hat he had been wearing on the couch beside his discarded shirt. �But that doesn�t mean I block everyone out either. I�m generally a good judge of character.� It was his turn to study her as she nervously tried to figure out what she should do with herself, finally slipping her purse off her shoulder and setting it beside his hat and shirt, sliding past him carefully and sitting down on the edge of the couch, her positioning well thought out. It was obvious she did not want to get too comfortable, nor appear uncomfortable.
�Oh?� she said as she sat. �And I apparently have�good character?� Her tone was genuinely curious, because it had been a long time since anyone had even bothered to notice her �character.�
He shook his head and smirked slightly. �You�I�m not quite sure about. As a matter of fact, I think you�re a lot like Benj.� He made his way to sit next to her, and she pulled away slightly, enough to hold his gaze, her hands folded awkwardly in her lap without her knowledge.
�I remind you of Benji!?� she asked incredulously.
Joel nodded a bit. �Yeah. I think you�re blocked off too. I think you have walls too. I think it takes a lot for you to really trust somebody�your defenses are always up.� He stopped talking then, his eyebrows gently raised, and he wondered if he had pushed too far.
Rose stared at him for a few short moments before parting her lips to speak. �I think you�re right when you say you�re a good judge of character. But I think that if you were smart, you would know that someone who doesn�t trust easily isn�t going to be fond of someone stripping her down emotionally the first time she�s invited over,� she says without blinking.
Joel frowned slightly and sighed. �I�m sorry��
Rose held her hand up to stop him from continuing. �Don�t apologize. You�re right. I do tend to be on the defensive. I get it from my mom. And I�m actually pretty proud of it because for the most part, it has prevented me from getting hurt.� She met his gaze as she spoke, uncertain as to why she was sharing this information but somehow unable to stop speaking. He had struck something in her by reading her so well and she felt that he was therefore privileged to some sort of insight. �But I have been hurt. Almost every time I�ve let my defenses down I�ve ended up getting myself hurt, torn down, broken. I�m really not a fan of not being in control, in case you haven�t noticed that about me as well. When you let someone else in, you let them have control over you, even if it�s just a hint,� she held his gaze firmly, her green eyes burning into his brown ones. �I�m not ready to lose control.�
Joel swallowed softly, his hands gliding gently down his thighs, wiping his now sweaty palms on his jeans as nonchalantly as possible, searching her eyes for a moment before letting his breath out in a small whoosh. He decided that it would be a bad idea to press the conversation any further. He knew he had already crossed some sort of unspoken boundary and forced her to draw a line that may not have existed so firmly beforehand. He was mentally regretting opening his mouth at all, and therefore only muttered a quiet, �Can I get you anything to drink?� when he finally spoke again.
Rose smiled, nodding, and with that smile allowed the mood to lighten, leaning back gently against the back of the couch. She felt a little more comfortable suddenly, as if she had made her status on the situation perfectly clear. His lack of response indicated to her that he had gotten the message and she was satisfied with that for now. I�m not in the position to be in a relationship, she reminded herself inwardly as she watched his slightly lanky body lift from the couch and pad quietly into the kitchen, still smiling slightly as he handed her a Coke. He plopped down next to her and popped open his own can, the light fizz of carbonation cracking the silence between them. She watched him slurp the foam off the opening and wipe his mouth on the back of his hand before casually steering the conversation towards him. �So, you write all the lyrics for the band? Or do the other guys help?� She took a small sip of her Coke.
Joel nodded, swallowing his sip with a small ahh. �Yeah I write about 90%. Sometimes Benji helps too but I usually polish over anything he comes up with�and then when we add the other guitar, drums and bass, we gotta rearrange shit sometimes but,� he shrugged, �it mostly comes from me. That�s my job.�
Chapter 3, part 1| Chapter 3, part 3