Chapter Two
Something always happens in the heat of the night. I've been thinking 'bout it for a while.
Hold tight, feelin' right, Mama's little angel is out tonight.
Plenty times I've dreamed of this, each night. My whole experience.
Hold tight, feelin' right, Mama's little angel is out tonight.
Something always happens in the heat of the night.
It was late. Too late to find a black taxi, to late to make a drunken stumble down the street without the mandatory ill tempered old woman waking up to have a good ol' yell at them. Dom knew this. Orli knew this. Viggo had known this for over an hour, which made the fact that he hadn't done anything about it even worse.
"What are we going to do?" Dom said wildly, ruing the moment he'd decided he was allowed to have another drink. Even though he regretted his - what number was it now? was it right to count drinks when they turned from glasses to bottles? - heavy drinking, he still poured himself another shot. Just one more. And maybe a another after that...to keep the first company in his stomach, that was so filled with alcohol of every sort that it was practically pickled in it's own juices...
"What are we going to do? We're going to go home! We're going to go home, and...and wake up in...well, I was going to say the morning, but that's clearly not going to happen!" Orli roared, spilling his wine all over Viggo's couch. He was swaying badly, but not as badly as Dom, who had long ago claimed the altitude - of sitting on the couch - was getting to his head, before retiring to the floor.
Jamie shook her head sadly and tried not to laugh. Orli was hard to not laugh at. Orli drunk was an even harder thing to laugh at. She put down her empty wine glass down and snuggled into Viggo at her side, kissing his cheek just as he turned to look behind him to Henry's bedroom door. He'd done that a lot tonight. He did that a lot every night that Jamie was around...Jamie sat up-right, turning away from Viggo towards Orli. Viggo didn't even notice...
"Your balance is not so good when you're drunk, no?" He said, pushing her back up.
Jamie laughed and latched onto the edge of the coffee table to set herself straight, Orli's hands steadying her by the hips. She smiled down at him and ignored Viggo's frown. "I'd like to see you do better." She challenged.
"I'll take that challenge!" Orli set down his wine glass so forcefully it almost broke, as he stood up and then promptly sat back down. Jamie just laughed. Somewhere in a corner, lying against the couch, Dom gurgled.
"You're questioning my balance, and you can't even stand, you sadie." She said gleefully. Orli just slapped her and picked up his wine glass, pouring the meagre contents into his mouth. Jamie regarded him fondly.
"Vig, I'm tired." Jamie said pointedly. She watched Viggo keenly for his response.
His face stopped working for a moment before he could change his smile from serene to consolatory. "Did you want me to ring a cab for you?" He said innocently.
From his spot on the couch Orli watched the interplay keenly over the brim of his completely empty wine glass.
Jamie bit her lip and crossed her arms, trying to stay steady she sat down next to Viggo, clasping his hands and kissing his cheek. "I don't have enough money for a cab." She said, forcing lightness into her voice. She allowed her eyes to travel from Viggo's, to the distant doorway leading to his bedroom.
Viggo looked worried. "Jamie...you know tonight just really isn't a good nigh-"
Jamie stood up sharply, and lucky for her Orli was already standing behind her to prop her up otherwise she would have fallen right back onto the couch. "No. That's just fine, Vig. Don't hassle yourself, I wouldn't want to cause any trouble." She said sarcastically. "If tonight isn't a good night for you, then tell me when is, and I'll plan my life around that. How about tomorrow night?" She said sarcastically. Viggo remained silent. "No, that's too soon. How about a month from now? No? How about when Henry is twenty one? Does that work for you?" She said, half way between anger and resentment.
Viggo stood up and tried to take Jamie's hands in his. "Shhh...Jamie, please, don't shout-"
"Don't shush me - I'm not a child! I'm leaving!" She said dramatically before turning on her heel, snatching up her leather jacket and slinging her bag over her shoulder. She yanked open the old wooden door to Viggo's apartment so hard that it almost came off it's hinges before she turned and pointed her finger sharply in Viggo's direction. "One day, Viggo, Henry isn't going to be a child any more. And one day, possibly not to soon after that, you won't be a child either! Perhaps you should just give me a call when you're grown up enough to admit to more than one person that we're dating!" She slammed the door after her as she left.
Viggo was left staring dumbly at the door for a moment before he reacted. Orli watched as Viggo's face went through a series of emotions in less than a second. Anger - how could Jamie be so irresponsible as to speak so loudly when Henry was asleep in the other room? Resentment - he wasn't a child, and he wasn't hiding their relationship from anyone. Self righteousness - how dare she accuse him of being a child! How dare she put him in the situation where he was essentially choosing between his son and his close friend, err, girlfriend... And finally, Resignment. Viggo wiped his hand over his face and gave soft sort of aggravated grunt before turning to Orli.
Orli smiled and patted Viggo's shoulder, picking up his own jacket and pulling it on. "That's really not for me to say."
"Are you leaving?" Viggo said sadly. He wanted Orli to stay and tell him he wasn't a horrible person. Clearly, he had the role of a friend mixed up with the role of a girlfriend...
Orli nodded and turned towards the door when he heard the distant sound of a motorbike outside warming up. "She's planning on riding, and much as I know you're not too happy with her now, you'll be less happy when she's painted against a wall." He hugged Viggo quickly, nudged Dom and patted him on the head as he passed him on his way to the front door, and then he was gone. Running and tripping quickly down the stairs and hobbling along the pathway towards where Jamie was sitting on her bike, her helmet already on.
Jamie turned towards him, and said loudly over the sound of the engine "Why not? I sure as hell can't stay here."
Orli nodded and walked around the bike, pulling the keys from the ignition and shoving them deep into the pocket of his jeans. "You're not half fit to drive, least of all on wet roads, least of all in the mood within which you currently reside." He said, pulling the helmet from Jamie's head. He frowned when he noticed the tears on her cheeks. He took a step towards her, and put his arms around her shoulders, patting her back. Jamie's arms came up and hugged him fiercely, she let herself cry on Orli's shoulder while he made soft, comforting noises for a few minutes, the only other sounds that could be heard being Jamie's sobs, and a distant crash as a cat dislodged a bin lid from it's perch.
"What about my bike?" Jamie said, trying to dig her heels into the concrete.
"You'll come back for it in the morning, and sort everything out with Vig at the same time." Orli said, finally succeeding in luring Jamie along the pavement towards the near-by neon light of the station stairwell.
Jamie turned to Orli suddenly, and he noticed that she was shivering as she began to speak. "That's just the thing."
"What is?" Orli said in confusion. Had he missed something?
"I don't know whether I want things to be sorted out with Viggo. Not if 'sorted out' means returning things to how they are when we're not fighting."
Orli nodded slowly. "And how exactly are things?"
Jamie's teeth were practically chattering when she answered. "Not right. He's never said it, but I just know he doesn't want Henry to find out about us. But it's just ludicrous because he treats me like I'm the same age as Henry anyway! And the other day he told me I didn't understand something because I was to young." She paused and pumped her knees up and down to keep the blood circulating in her legs. Why does it have to be so bloody cold in London?
Orli smiled as Jamie exhaled heavily, a wide plume of white-cold air coming from her mouth. He pulled off his jacket and slung it around his arms. In less than a second his skin was burning with cold, but he didn't really notice because Jamie had started crying again.
"See," she croaked, gesturing towards Orli "Vig would never do that to me in a tube station. He'd be to worried someone might see him."
Orli was about to answer when the train arrived, signalling the beginning of a battle with the few other passengers on the train as to who could sit the closest to the one hot-air vent in the compartment. They travelled in silence, comfortable, still silence, with Jamie's head against Orli's shoulder, and his arm around her waist, his cold hand gripping hers and resting on her lap.
She turned and looked down at him, standing there on the step below her. She felt her heart crumble a little bit when she noticed how obviously freezing he was, jumping from foot to foot on the spot to keep from freezing to the wet stone steps below his feet. He was biting his lip, and every time he breathed out a plume of white mist came out of his nostrils. But he was still smiling, still bright, and warm - as ironic as it sounded - and not at all resentful of the fact that he was slowly reaching hypothermia just so that Jamie could be a little warmer. His innocence, selflessness was completely endearing and she realised suddenly how far he'd have to travel to get home, and how comfortably he could have just slept on the couch at Viggo's...
Orli stopped jumping and stood still, unsure of what he should say. "No, I don't want to impose. Just give me my jacket and I'll be on my way." He said, stepping up to Jamie's level and reaching out for his jacket.
She stepped back into the foyer of her building and hooked a finger in Orli's direction. "No imposition. I'll give you your jacket if you come up. Come on, in all the time we've been friends you've never once seen my place, while I think I've seen every inch of yours. Consider it...taking our friendship to another level." She smiled and took another step back, but Orli remained undecided "Come on, Orli. I feel bad for stealing your jacket, and pulling you out into the middle of the freezing night away from Viggo's warm couch because I know you could have just slept there." She paused and reached out for Orli's hand, pulling him quickly into the entrance hall, and towards the elevator. "Come on, a cup of hot tea and then I'll give your jacket and your freedom."
Orli sighed and shook his head. Am I ever going to get home? He thought as Jamie pulled him out of the elevator and into the corridor outside her apartment. Orli dimly realised they must have been on the top floor, because he hadn't noticed any higher numbers on the long ride up to Jamie's floor, and her door was the only one in the long corridor.
"What do you think?" Jamie said shyly, twirling clumsily on the spot.
Then Orli noticed the walls. They were beautiful, taken up almost entirely by floor to ceiling windows, but in between they were painted with what looked like the curling branches of an ivy vine, interspersed by sections of writing. He picked his way slowly across the wide room to the opposite wall, laying his hand against the wall, before turning back to Jamie. "How did you find this place? It's amazing." He said in wonder, his eyes falling on the loft located directly above the front door. It could only be reached by a ladder.
Jamie shrugged and sidled over to Orli's side, flinging her arm around his shoulder. Had it been any one else, she would have felt odd doing that, considering the situation, but this was Orli. Kind, comforting, sacrifice-his-own-warmth Orli. "I just found it. And then I got sick of sleeping in the middle of this massive room, and so I had the loft built."
"What about the walls? That's got to be a good story." Orli said, turning back to the walls. He noticed for the first time that the words seemed to be lyrics to a song...he read a tiny snippet of 'New Age' under a white flower.
"Well, I just woke up one morning, and had an idea for a song, but no paper. I wrote it on the wall, and it all just...grew from there." She pointed to the spot of the wall that was chipped and slightly faded. It was obviously older than the rest of the paint.
"How long has it taken you?"
Jamie shrugged again, and smiled at the walls. "I don't know. It seems like forever, but it's probably only been a few years. Two, maybe three."
"You've been living here since you were twenty?" Orli said. He thought back to when he was twenty, and room he'd lived in...down the hall from his mother's, in the house he'd grown up in.
Jamie nodded.
"But you're so young." Orli blurted out mindlessly.
"So everyone keeps saying..." she said, just the slightest hint of bitterness in her voice as she moved away from Orli to collapse onto the couch.
He sat down beside her, and put his arm around her shoulder automatically. "I didn't mean it like that. I just meant...well, don't you ever get lonely? Living by yourself?"
Jamie smiled and turned towards him, her eyes boring deep into his. "I'm not that kind of person, I suppose. I like being alone."
"I don't." Orli muttered, thinking of the empty apartment he would no doubt reach barely before dawn.
Jamie sat in silence, staring at Orli as he played with a piece of fabric that had come loose from the couch. And then, without even noticing it, she was moving closer to him, putting her arms around his neck and pressing her face against the surprisingly cold skin of his neck. "Then don't." She murmured, closing her eyes.
Orli thought he was going crazy. He blinked, but when he opened his eyes Jamie was still wound around him, practically sitting in his lap. And even though his mind was screaming for him not to, he felt his hands touch her back, running along the line of her shoulder blades. "I don't think I understand..." He had to say something, or what he was trying desperately to put down to a hug between close friends, was going to be mentally blown out of proportion.
"Don't go. Just stay here tonight."
"I don't think Vig-"
"Then don't think." Jamie sat back on her knees and stared at Orli solemly, running her hand along his cheek. "Don't think, Orli. Just stay with me, and forget about Viggo for a moment. "
"What are we doing?" He said, half pained, lying beside Jamie. His cold fingers were splayed across her bare, goose-pimpled flesh, his eyes following Jamie's hands as she laid them against his chest. Her hands were like white hot coals against his frozen skin.
Jamie frowned and kissed him. "Because you don't like being alone." She murmured against his lips.
For some reason Orli found he could actually smile at her gentle joke. "Just between good friends...what's your excuse then?"
"I don't like you being alone. How's that?" She said, her voice a peculiar mix of annoyance and mirth. She didn't want to think. She wanted Orli's arms around her and his fingers and lips on her skin, burning away the memory of the whole evening and every moment before it. His questions were bringing her out of her comos and into reality, and she didn't like it. She didn't like the soft, tugging guilt...
"That's good enough for me." Orli said with a grin. And then, like a light being switched on in his mind Orli realised why he was able to be so blase about what was happening, what Jamie was doing to him and what he was doing to Jamie. It was because this was exactly the way it had played out in the deepest recesses of his mind, a million times, every night since Viggo had first left for Ireland.
"Orli?"
"Yes?"
"Are we going to be ok with this?"
Orli smiled and closed his eyes. Just as long as you don't tell me it was a dream "It's just taking the friendship to the next level, right?"
***
All I knew like magic you were there. You took over me and I didn't care.
It can't be undone, don't tell a soul. I really don't believe it can harm anyone.
It feels so good, feels so good. Can hardly see in front of me desire's blinding me.
Hold on, nothing's wrong, I need to be with you all night long.
I was so doubtin' and you pulled me through. How could I resist?
And I long for it, though I know it's not right.
It doesn't matter that I have to be somewhere tonight.
Hang on to the love we knew.
The only time I felt alive was when I was with you.
Hold on, nothing's wrong. I need to be with you all night long.
Hold tight, feelin' right, Mama's little angel ain't gonna bite.
Hold on, nothing's wrong. The simple life isn't for everyone...
"The Heat of the Night" - Wicked Beat Sound System.
Henry still didn't know, and Jamie was sick of it. Sick of being the mystery woman. Sick of not being able to sleep the whole night through at Viggo's because she was meant to just be a 'close friend'. She was sick of walking on egg shells when she knew that Henry adored her. But keeping our relationship a secret is his perogative, she thought reasonably. And leaving is mine.
She stood up and made a great show of stretching, and grinning like a fool when she stumbled slightly. She smiled gratefully down at Orli who caught her from behind just as she was about to fall on top of him.
They'd grown close, Jamie and Orli. They'd only met three months ago, but none the less, they'd grown close. She could still remember it, her smoke filled pub, and Viggo introducing her to this bright young man shaking her hand energetically and asking her if she'd like a drink. She'd known almost instantly that they'd click. And when Viggo had left London, little more than a week later, to do his tour of Ireland it had been to Orli that he had entrusted Jamie's entertainment. Like Orli was meant to mind Jamie and keep her from harm? To baby-sit her and keep her amused while Viggo was away doing business with the grown ups? That had not been the way it had played out. Instead, they'd played up. For the first week Orli would demurely meet Jamie at the Chestnut for a quiet drink and a chat. The following week Jamie had announced they would 'do the rounds', which basically involved a pub crawl, including every club and bar Jamie deemed 'the competition'. They would pour themselves from one pub into the other, drinking loudly. Orli would laugh constantly at Jamie's on-going commentary on the failures of each establishment. And Orli would say she was 'gorgeous', and that 'Vig doesn't know what he's missing' before patting her hand or hugging her.
Ordinarily Orli didn't just hug the girlfriends of his closest friends, but Jamie was different. Part of the reason Orli loved hanging around with her so much was because of the warmth and energy - almost hypoactivity - she constantly vibrated. The only thing better than making Jamie laugh - or being made to laugh by Jamie, as was often the case - was being close enough to her to actually feel her when she laughed. He felt slightly sick to find himself thinking about Viggo's girl that way. But it seemed so natural, comfortable even, for him to be so close to Jamie. Instead of concentrating on how peculiar their relationship was Orli tried to pin down what it was to feel Jamie laughing. It could only liken it mentally to holding a sackful of excited puppies in his arms, all moving rhythmically and smelling so sweet...not that puppies smelt all that sweet. But Jamie did...
By the time Viggo had finished his tour, they were practically inseparable. If they weren't scouting the competition, they were having 'a drink' at Orli's. If they weren't having 'a drink' at Orli's, then they were having Scrabble competitions with Dom. Or playing Twister, or any number of other ludicrous activities that people are only comfortable enough to do in the company of their closest friends.
Orli trusted Jamie. He'd tell her his secrets, given the opportunity and he knew intuitively that Jamie trusted him just as much...
"Am I being unreasonable?" He asked.
"You can't ride home, Jamie." He said with as much authority as he could muster.
"Come on, we'll take the Underground." He said finally, pulling Jamie in the direction of the nearest station. He silently thanked Viggo for finding an apartment in the middle of town - between walking from Viggo's to the station, and from the next station to Jamie's house, and then onto the nearest black cab stand to get out to his house down by the river, it was going to be a much longer night than he had anticipated.
They walked down the street in silence towards the station, buying their tickets with the minimum of words, and then collapsing onto the nearest bench.
To Orli it seemed to take forever to get from the tube station near Viggo's to the station nearest to Jamie's, and by the time he found himself pulling her up the station steps about out into the night, he was both tired and frozen.
"Come on." He said to Jamie, pulling her by the cuff of his jacket, which was swimming on her, and miles to long in the sleeves. She sniffled and stumbled a few steps forward, into Orli's arms as they came to stand at her front door.
Orli had seen Jamie's building a million times, every night they'd gone out he'd made sure to escort her home before wearily heading off to his own distant abode. But curiously enough, he'd never been inside. There was something about Jamie's apartment that seemed hallowed, a reason why she never invited him up, and rarely sacrificed her privacy, even for Viggo.
"I better get going if I want to reach home before sun up, love." Orli said slowly as Jamie scraped her key into the lock.
"Come up." She blurted.
Then Jamie was opening the door, and pulling Orli in, groping around in the complete darkness for a light, and telling Orli not to move unless he wan't to injure himself on the unseen piles of what she called rubbish on the floor.
When finally she turned the lights on Orli understood what she meant. The place was a mess. A massive room of wooden floorboards and high ceilings earthed with every single scrap of paper and clothing imaginable, not to mention debris of food and shoes.
Her fingers against his cheek and through his hair felt so good, so right, but that still didn't make it ok to be thinking the things he was thinking. He didn't speak when Jamie pulled him up and lead him silently to the base of the ladder, and then up into the loft. Orli's eyes had to adjust to the darkness for a second before he could examine Jamie's bedroom. Guitar, vanity, mirror, bookcase...bed. A low bed with Jamie kneeling on it, turned away from Orli and slowly pulling his jacket from around her like he wasn't even there. Like he wasn't standing there, mouth open in shock and slack with forbidden lust.
And much as he knew he shouldn't, as much as he knew they'd regret it in the morning, when Viggo would become more than a distant memory, Orli sat down next to Jamie. He was kissing her, she was pulling his shirt up over his head, and he was cursing when two of the delicate little buttons on her shirt came off.
A million times, not counting the moments these same thoughts would push into his dreams...
Chapter Three