Chain Lightning Studios Presents Together We Stand: book two Divided We Fall By T. L. Webb Don’t leave me now, Don’t say it’s the end of the road Don’t leave me now Pink Floyd, The Wall []======================[] Book Two, Part Two []======================[] In the depths of the Geofront, hundreds of meters below the surface of the earth, there was a colossal gate labeled as Nerv's LCL plant. To merely get within view of this door required a security clearance of the highest rank. Only a dozen people in the entire organization possessed this level of clearance-- even fewer had the level necessary to open it, and Ryouji Kaji was normally not one of those few. It had taken him almost two months of careful hacking to decode the sequence to open this door. Its very existence had initially proved to be a surprise to him. His original orders had been simply to keep an eye on Gendou Ikari and find out what Nerv and the mysterious organization Seele were up to, but he had a hunch that this was going to be more fruitful than his usual eavesdropping. He knew that Ikari was aware of his orders and his mission-- he had no illusions that his snooping around was going totally undetected. Ikari was using him like he used everyone else. For the moment he had a use-- he was a pipeline into the Japanese Government that the Commander could use to disperse falsified information. When Ikari finally decided that he was becoming more trouble than he was worth, Kaji knew that he would discard him like a soiled tissue. The only question remaining was how much could he dig up before that time came. He wondered sometimes if he was crazy. He was walking straight into the lion's den with a side of beef tied around his neck, and eventually the commander _would_ give that final order. As long as he remained with Nerv the hands on the deathwatch would tick ever closer to that final moment. Yet he still strolled casually into that den with a grin on his face. Until the previous night it had all been so easy... he almost wanted to slap himself for getting involved with Misato again. He had loved her so intensely that even when she had abandoned him seven years ago he couldn't bring himself to hate her. Despite all the walls he'd tried to build to protect his heart, the moment he had seen her on the bridge of the Over the Rainbow he known that it was a lost cause. He'd known at that moment that he'd never stopped loving her, and that ignoring his feelings would be nigh impossible. But even then she had still insisted she wanted nothing to do with him, and he had taken a small comfort in that. If that final order ever went out, and his usefulness came to and end, then at least she wouldn’t be hurt. 'You just had to go and screw all it up didn’t you Misato?' he thought as his ever-present grin widened, 'I could die with a clean conscience if you hated me... you picked a hell of a time to admit you felt the other way' He shook his head and took out the security card he'd spent the last two months preparing. If he'd done everything right then he could enter and exit anywhere in Terminal Dogma without being recorded... if he'd done everything right. 'Moment of truth...' he thought as he raised the card to the scanner. That was when he felt the gun press against the base of his skull. There were only three people that had ever been able to sneak up on him so effectively. One was living in Germany; the other was currently in the United States investigating Nerv's Second Branch. That left only one person... "How's your hangover?" he asked playfully. "Much better now, thank you" Misato Katsuragi replied sarcastically, and indeed she sounded as if she had shaken off the effects of their night of drinking with flying colors. "Well that’s good to know" "Tell me Kaji, is this your real profession or just something you do part time? A hobby perhaps? "Oh, its more of an interest-- hobbies cost money." "Very cute. You know... there seem to be two men around here named Ryouji Kaji. One works for the special investigation institute of Nerv, and then there is this other guy with the same name who works for Japans Ministry of the Interior" "Oh? Found out about that did you?" The gun pressed deeper into the back of his head, and he had to fight not to wince. "Don't underestimate Nerv, Kaji." "So did the Commander send you out here to slap me on the wrist?" "No, this was on my own initiative, listen to me and listen good Kaji-- if you continue to pursue this 'interest' of yours... you'll die." "I suppose... but the commander _is_ using me to his own ends, and as long as I'm still useful I think he'll let me dig at least a little deeper. I am sorry I kept this a secret from you, however." "I'll let it pass, call it a 'thank you' for your help and discretion last night." "While I do appreciate it, you should know that the commander and Ritsu are keeping secrets from you as well," his already broad grin widened even further and in one rapid sweep he scanned the card into the reader, "and this is it!" He took a step to the side and caught a glimpse of Misato's face as the gate rose from the floor to reveal the interior of the so-called LCL plant. Her horrified expression was what made him look himself and he wished he could say he was surprised at what he saw. Across a room so wide and large it defied everything he knew about architecture, a crimson cross rose from a sea of LCL. Crucified upon this gargantuan cross was a white shape. Its body trailed off at the waist into a bubbled mass of flesh, but from there up it was recognizably humanoid. On its face, a mask was fixed with an inverted triangle and seven eyes chiseled into it. Had it not been so repulsive it probably would have been more impressive. Misato was even more shocked than he'd expected... then again, he sometimes forgot that she was one of the few who had seen the beast when it was fully alive and very pissed off. "This is...and Eva?" She muttered aloud as the realization started to hit her, " no, not that... this is-- oh my God in Heaven!" "Yes," Kaji said his face suddenly grim, " the key to Second Impact and everything since. This is the starting point of it all. This is Adam." "The first angel is _here_?" Misato asked rhetorically as her eyes narrowed in rage, "you were right Kaji... I don’t know Nerv, I don’t know Nerv at all!" []====[] []====[] Several days later Misato still couldn't shake off the rage and fear that seeing the first Angel had instilled in her. She had been there when Second Impact had occurred, and had seen first hand the awesome power that the creature had at its disposal. That Nerv had it imprisoned less than two miles below where she stood was not something she was finding easy to forget. That... thing had killed her father. That thing had wiped out half the human race, and Nerv had the gall to keep it stuck up on a wall like some grotesque doll? She was still going over and over all of it in her mind when something that Maya was saying finally attracted her attention. "Well I think it's adorable," Ritsuko's prodigy was saying, " and I don’t see any harm in it whatsoever." "It doesn't matter How cute it is," Aoba replied, "its dangerous for her to be this involved." "Just because she doesn’t have Section Two protection doesn’t mean she's in danger of anything," Makoto said, "Nerv has the media under tight control. The only reason anyone would find out about it would be if someone thought it might help our image--in which case she would receive appropriate protection." "Yeah, but look what happened in Germany after they announced the Second Child. Half the Nerv schools got firebombed by nutjobs who think that the Angels don’t mean us any harm." "Well that Europeans for you," Misato said--finally speaking up, "sometimes I think they're more insane than Americans." "You live with Shinji," Maya said, " what do you think of his seeing the Horaki girl?" "I think its one of the better things that ever happened to him," Misato replied as she sipped the bitter swill that Nerv seemed to think qualified as coffee, "as long as things keep going well between the two he's going to be a better pilot for it, I think. He hasn’t been this happy as long as I've known him. Even if it doesn't work out in the long run for some reason... I think he'll be better off for it." "None of you realize the biggest problem here," Aoba said, "have any of you even _tried_ to date outside of the organization?" The others shook their heads. "What do you do when your girl or guy asks 'how was your day?' and the only thing you can tell them is 'sorry it's classified'?" "I keep pretty close tab on the conversations they have," Misato replied, "and Shinji does a pretty good job of staying away from the off limits stuff. Their phone logs are totally clean all across the board too." "So has the bastard king even congratulated him yet?" Makoto asked after looking up and making sure no one was at the top observational platform. "No," Misato said with a sigh, "and the sad part is I don’t think he's going to. Fortunately for Shinji, he seems to have about given up his father... so at least he won't have any high hopes to get crushed." "Aren't the two supposed to be going out on a date in a day or two?" "Yep, I made reservations for them at a really fancy place, it'll cost two weeks of Shinji's pay but he say's its worth it... too bad most other men don’t go that extra step" Aoba and Hyuuga flinched at that. "Has anyone else worried about how much time we spend gossiping about other people's love life's when not one of us is seeing anyone?" Aoba asked suddenly seeking to change the subject "What do you mean?" Maya asked "Well I know none of us three are seeing anyone-- I spend enough time listening to you two complain as it is, and other than the guy with the ponytail-" "Kaji" Hyuuga piped in. "Right, other than that Kaji guy Misato hasn't had a date since she arrived." "Oh rub it in why don’t you" Misato mumbled Meanwhile Maya was frowning, "well, don’t try to pin any of this me, I haven't been able to get a date since that incident with Dr. Akagi." "You mean when she almost sent that British guy to the hospital?" "Yeah, now everyone is kinda nervous around her staff." "What did he do anyway?" Misato asked, " I never could get a straight answer out of Ritsu." Hyuuga looked around to make sure no one was nearby and grinned, "lets just say that there's a standing threat of castration to any guy who calls her 'Dr. Pullring'." []====[] []====[] "Going to be joining us for lunch?" Kensuke asked Hikari as they walked back from gym class. "Not today," Hikari replied, "Kodama said since I’m going out to dinner with Shinji tonight I should eat alone for the day, don't ask me why..." "You girls have the weirdest rules about this stuff, it's not exactly making me eager to start dating." "I can understand why, half the time I don't understand the reasons myself." "So you’re just going to eat in the classroom like you used to huh?" "That's the plan, try not to give Shinji any ideas while you’re alone with him huh?" "Awww," Kensuke said as he pouted innocently, "what makes you think I’d do something like that?" "Only a half dozen years of putting up with you and your fellow stooge while you were still the idiot 'duo'." "Ouch" []====[] []====[] Much later Hikari would wish she had ignored her sister’s advice and eaten with the boys as she normally did. She had just finished up, and was about to go wash up when she heard Asuka and Ichigo talking as they walked down the hall. Ducking back into the room she accidentally caught part of a conversation between the two. She hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but she also hadn't wanted to interrupt either. So as the two had stood on the other side of the door, Hikari had ended up in an almost perfect position to hear the part that had cut to the quick. "So what, Asuka?" Ichigo had said, "its not like he ever talked to you much in the first place." "Yeah, but this is different," Asuka replied, "before he just didn't talk, now its like he’s deliberately avoiding me. I was cool with it when he was just an unfriendly little twerp, but I do _not_ like being ignored." "Any idea why he’s avoiding you?" "Oh, I know _exactly_ why he's avoiding me... remember that night I told you we went for a jog?" "Yeah, the night you were all pissed at Miss. Katsuragi right?" "Well let's just say that me and Shinji didn't go straight back after we stopped at the park." Hikari didn't hear the rest. She began to feel a bit dizzy and had to sit down on a desk quickly for fear of falling. She didn't know what to make of what she had just heard; she didn't want to believe it meant what she thought it did. 'She’s lying, she has to be' Hikari told herself as she tried to gather her thoughts, 'he wouldn't do anything with her-- he just wouldn't!' As she grabbed her things and hurried out, however, a nagging thought kept repeating in the back of her mind... just how long could a boy ignore someone like Asuka if she were to make herself available? []====[] []====[] "Hey Misato?" Shinji called as he stepped out of his room, "I think I need some help here..." Misato poked her head out of her room. When she saw Shinji stepping into the living room from across the way she couldn't help but laugh. Shinji might be able to pilot the most advanced war machine ever constructed, he might have nearly surpassed the second child’s synch rate to become Nerv’s top pilot, he might be the envy of every giant robot otaku on the planet, but he didn't know the first thing about ties. As she beckoned him over and began untangling the mess he had made of the silk cloth, she fought not to giggle further. Shinji and Hikari had only been out together once so far and that had been a school dance. This was a whole other ball game as the Americans liked to say. Neither of them had really ever been on a date before, and she almost regretted agreeing to let them go lone-- it would be interesting to see how it all went. "There you go," she said as she straightened the properly knotted tie, "just don't fiddle with it and you’ll be fine. Of course you realize that if I find out you loosened it and ran around like that I’d be forced to hurt you..." "I think I'll leave that look to Kaji, he wears it better than I do," Shinji replied once he caught his guardian’s reference. "That's right, we’ll keep that jerk’s bad habits from rubbing off on you yet!" "I _heard_ that!" Asuka shouted from her room. "Too bad we can't stop _her_ from rubbing on _him_..." Misato mumbled as she rolled her eyes. "I heard that too!" came the retort from behind the closed door. "One of these days I’m going to figure out how she does that," Shinji said frowning. "It's one of those cultural things," Misato told him, "we tend to respect other’s privacy more than most other cultures... probably a throwback to when all the walls in a house were just rice paper. I think she can't help but listen when she can hear someone else, hence she tends to eavesdrop. Anyhow, are you all set? Any last minute questions?" "None that I didn't ask in the past few weeks," Shinji said, "I guess all I have to do now is stop shaking..." "Nervous huh, kid?" "Yeah, I wish I knew why... I wasn't this jumpy before the dance." "Probably because it's a different type of environment, a party and a restaurant are two totally different settings." "I guess..." "You’ll do fine Shinji, it can't possible be harder than Eva, just keep that in mind." "This is true." There was a moment of silence and as Shinji was about to thank her for the moral support, the doorbell rang. The transportation had arrived. He stood and walked toward the hall, then paused. "Thank you Misato," he told his guardian with a smile. "Don't worry about it, go have some fun." He nodded and turned to leave. []====[] []====[] When he and the driver arrived at the front of the apartment complex, Shinji’s mouth fell open. He’d saved for months to put this evening together, and for the next week or so he was going to be almost totally out of cash. When he’d arranged for transportation however, he hadn't gone for anything fancy, just a nice car from a reliable company. The driver’s tag read that he was of the company Shinji had contacted, but the car was not what he’d intended-- not that he was complaining. 'A limo?' he thought as he followed the driver down the steps, 'when did this happen?' The answer to that was waiting inside in an envelope that the driver handed to him. Hello Shinji, I hope you don't mind my taking the liberty of upgrading your transportation for the evening, but I just couldn't let you go out on your first date without some style. This is my treat so don't feel the need to repay me, just enjoy the evening. Good luck, Kaji P.S. do try to keep your hands to yourself until at least the third date... that is unless she makes the first move -_^ The window up front lowered and the Driver asked if he was ready to go. Shinji took a deep breath-- it was time. []====[] []====[] She looked amazing. Her hair was down, and he paused a moment to wonder why she didn't wear it this way more often. The pigtails were decidedly cute, but this... was breathtaking. The dress her sister had loaned her was deceptive in that it at first glance appeared highly conservative, but upon closer inspection was highly sensual. It was pale pink with a lace floral design etched into it in such a way that it appeared almost shear, while actually being opaque. He cleared his head and smiled as he greeted her with a proper bow--which she returned. He took her arm in his and together they made their way down the walk to the cub where the limousine was waiting for them. When Hikari saw the vehicle her mouth fell open slightly in surprise. "That was fairly close to my reaction," Shinji noted as she turned to him with a quizzical expression on her face. "I don't think I’ve ever been in one of those before," She told him as her shock receded. "Me neither, its kind of fun, and a _really_ nice change from Misato's car." "Hey, I like Misato’s car," Hikari said with a grin. "You haven’t had to ride in the back seat with three paychecks worth of Misato, and Asuka’s purchases after a trip to the mall." "Oh." []====[] []====[] As excited as Hikari was about riding in the limo, and the evening out with Shinji, in the back of her mind there was still a nagging little reminder of the conversation she’d overheard earlier that week. She tried hard to force this from her mind and just enjoy herself. This was her first real date and she didn't want to ruin it by jumping to conclusions. This wasn't so hard to do and as she and Shinji explored the practically enormous limousine she forgot about it eventually. The drink station had been re-stocked with non-alcoholic beverages, but it did feature an interesting selection of drinks that Hikari had never heard of. All kinds of designer soda’s and fruit drinks were available, as well as spring water and a small selection gourmet snacks. Not wanting to ruin their appetites, they opted to save most of that for later, although they did try some of the drinks. They arrived at the restaurant, and Hikari thought she was going to faint. She had heard about the place a few weeks back when Asuka had been going through a four star restaurant guide, but she had never realized how fancy it was. As she saw some of the glamorously dressed women walking with their respective dates, she suddenly felt like a little kid playing dress up. They walked up to the front and she began to feel a little better. Shinji didn't look at any of the attractive couples who were standing at the valet line- although she did note that a few of the women were giving them curious stares and giggling behind their hands to their dates. Shinji seemed oblivious to all of this as he linked his arm in hers and gave her one of his rare smiles-- the kind that had the tendency to make all the blood rush to her cheeks and her knees feel wobbly. Proudly they walked up to the front, and Shinji didn't even blink as the matre de sneered down at them from behind his desk. Shinji merely reached into his jacket and produced his Nerv ID. When he handed it to the matre de, the man’s eyes widened a bit and Hikari could have sworn the man looked a little frightened. Not sure why this could be she gave Shinji a quick glance, but he was still calmly looking up at the matre de who was gathering their menus and sweating. They were led to their seats, a lovely spot that overlooked the lake, and the nervous matre de disappeared to wherever it is waiters and such disappear to. Finally when they were alone Shinji let out a deep breath and grinned at her. "I wasn't sure that was going to work." "What did you do," She asked him, "that man looked like he was about to have a heart attack!" "It kind of has to do with why I picked this restaurant," he told her as they looked over their menus. "For one thing Misato was the one who made the reservations, and she kind of hinted that if we didn't get the best service they had then this place might get stepped on by 'accident' in the next battle." "Nerv does have a tendency to rack up the collateral damage bills," Hikari agreed with a giggle, "what was the other reason?" "Well... my father eats here sometimes, and I’m pretty sure that that man recognized the name. Kind of ironic, I’ve hated him for so long because he’s cold, and harsh-- now that same attitude is getting us five star service." []====[] []====[] Dinner was delightful, and Hikari was having a horrible time not eating as much as she wanted-- her sister had drilled into her that women didn't make pigs of themselves on dates, and that she should order heavily and eat light. Shinji spent most of the night looking at her with a warm smile on his face, and she decided that what she heard Asuka say must have been out of context. He was looking at her so lovingly and tenderly-- as if she were the only star in the night sky. It made her pulse quicken and her face grow warm, and she loved every instant of it. When they finally left the restaurant and the driver asked where to next Hikari reached out and covered Shinji’s mouth before he could say back home. She didn't intend to let it get out of hand, but she felt that they could use some private time to get a little more intimate than they’d had a chance to as of yet. She told the driver to take them out to the bay, and as the window rolled down she snuggled up to Shinji and placed her head on his shoulder. The drive took awhile, and about halfway there, Shinji took her hand and pressed a switch on the console beside them. The skylight above began to open and they climbed to their feet. Hikari was comforted to realize that the driver-- apparently used to this from his clients-- had slowed to a safer speed. They clamored up and once she’d adjusted to the wind in her eyes, she grabbed hold of Shinji’s arm and let out a gasp. In the distance she could see Tokyo Three rising out of the woodlands like a glowing fairyland palace. The trees rushing past made the view seem as if it were through an old time nickelodeon. She grinned and held tighter to Shinji’s arm, playing up the 'frightened-and- defenseless girl' act. He put an arm around her and they laughed and yelled as the limo went through a series of dips and turns in the road. Finally they fell back inside in a tangle of arms legs and giggles. Once she managed to dislodge herself from him, Hikari leaned in and kissed Shinji deeply on the lips. They settled back into the seat and he reached up and brushed a lock of hair from her face. "Thank you," He said softly-- practically whispering in her ear. "For what?" she asked. "For giving me a chance, for helping me through all of this, for being there for me... for being you. I don't know if I could have made it this far without you." "Shinji...." she looked at him and her vision blurred as the tears tried to come. Pulling him close, she held him tightly while fighting back a wave of tears. How could she have doubted him? []====[] []====[] As they looked out at the bay from the observation center Hikari started to giggle. "What?" Shinji asked, trying not to be swept up in the addictive nature of Hikari’s gigglefits, "what is it?" "Just me being stupid," She replied, "I misheard someone and... Oh its silly." "Must be pretty funny, it made you snort," He said as he ducked a smack to the head. "I did _not_," she said with a laugh, "but no, it was just something I overhear Asuka telling Ichigo the other day... it actually had me believing you had kissed her for awhile there." She started snickering again at how silly she’d behaved over the whole thing, but when she calmed down a bit, she realized that Shinji had suddenly stiffened up, and had a stunned expression on his face. 'Do _not_ jump to conclusions' she admonished herself as a nugget of fear crept up in her gut. There might be any number of reasons why he had just frozen up and was looking afraid. "Asuka was probably just making stuff up," Hikari said hopefully, but despite her hopes, Shinji’s reaction was scaring her. "Um... she does make up stories sometimes," Shinji said in a small voice. 'Oh no, please no...' Hikari prayed as all her earlier doubts and fears came back in full force. "Shinji... did you and Asuka-" "No!" he said suddenly, cutting her off in a panic, "nothing happened at all." Hikari wanted to believe him more than anything, but it was painfully obvious that whatever had happened he felt guilty over it. She realized suddenly that Shinji had never tried to lie to her before, she didn't even think he had a reason to do so, until now. Apparently he had no talent for lying, because his attempts to do so were entirely unconvincing. And it was breaking her heart. "I didn't kiss her," Shinji said, a pleading look growing in his face, "I didn't!" "Then she kissed you?" Hikari accused as she started to cry. "Yes-- I mean no-- I mean..." he trailed off as he suddenly realized that he'd admitted it. Hikari’s eyes went wide and her breath caught in her throat. She looked at Shinji as he stood there looking down-- his hair falling over his eyes, and she tried to will herself to slap him, to scream at him-- to do something! But she couldn't do it. "Take me home Shinji," she said softly as she turned and walked away. []====[] []====[] They didn't say anything for the rest ride back, in fact Shinji was too afraid to speak. He didn't really understand just how it had happened but there was a cold wall between the two of them as they sat on opposite sides of the limo. He would occasionally glance up at Hikari, but she would be looking out the window or at the floorboard. He wanted disparately to find something he could say that would make it all right, but he didn't have the slightest clue what that might be. He had kissed Asuka. She might have initiated it, but he had returned the kiss, there was no getting around it, and nothing he could think of that would make that glaring fact go away. He didn't know what he could do, he couldn't find the answer, and every time he opened his mouth it just got worse. When they had first got in to the limo he had tried, and failed miserably. "It was just a kiss, and I didn't even start it," had been his pathetic excuse, and now he wanted to slap himself for saying it. He even wanted Hikari to slap him for it, but she just sat there with tears streaming down her face... and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. It kept going round and round in his head, the kiss, and what he had been thinking at the time, which had been very little. Even worse he hadn't thought of Hikari until Asuka had mentioned her a few seconds afterwards. He’d wanted to forget that little incident-- to brush it from existence by ignoring it. That obviously hadn't worked. And now because of that stupid mistake, he realized he was about to loose the single good thing that had ever happened to him. []====[] []====[] As she got out of the limo Shinji tried to speak up but she stopped him with a glare. He froze in place as she looked down at him and wiped her eyes. "Don't say a word Shinji, don’t say anything at all." "Hikari...." "I don't want to hear it!" she shouted," don't say anything else-- just don't! I don't want to talk to you right now, just leave me alone." with that she turned and walked up the steps to her house, leaving Shinji alone in the limo, with tears streaming down his face. "I'm sorry... please..." he whispered as she walked away from him. []====[] []====[] "So where's Superboy?" Asuka asked as she sat down at the table the next day and stared unhappily at the burnt rice Misato had apparently cooked, "Isn't it his turn to cook?" Misato frowned and looked into the living room. There was no light from the hall. "I think he might still be asleep," Misato said as she shoveled a mouthful of instant rice into her mouth, "although how he could sleep with you screaming about the hot water I have no idea." "Oh? You really want to get into _another_ cheepshot match?" Asuka asked with a smirk, "all I have to do is bring up Kaji and you freak out. Its not like there’s much of a challenge." "Never mind" Misato said with a sigh, "I'll go check on him." A few moments later she knocked on Shinji’s door and announced that she was about to open up. When she did step in, she realized two things. First the lights were out, and Shinji was still in his clothes from the previous night's date, and second was that his eyes were open. Had his chest not been rising and falling with steady breaths, and not for the occasional blink of his bloodshot eyes, Misato would have thought him dead. He didn't respond when she walked over and sat down on the chair beside his bed. "Shinji?" she asked, the worry evident in her voice, "are you alright?" "don't think I can go to school today," he said--his voice barely audible, "let Asuka know so she wont forget her lunch." "What's wrong, are you sick? Did something happen last night?" Misato pleaded, a thousand horrible possibilities running through her mind. "I... I can't talk about it right now Misato, I just need to be alone for awhile," he said, finally turning to look at her, "please?" "Alright Shinji, but only if you promise to tell me what’s wrong later on." "Okay." She stood and walked out, giving him one last glance before she shut his door again. As she walked back into the kitchen where Asuka was checking her hair in a compact, the German looked up. "So is Superboy still breathing, or did Hikari kill him?" "He’s feeling a little sick, probably ate something that didn't agree with him," Misato said, "he suggested that you grab something for lunch before you go." "Hmm your so-called cooking, or boxed lunches at school, talk about damned if you do and damned if you don't!" "Oh get going before I rub some of this so-called cooking in your hair." Misato said sweetly. []====[] []====[] "And that's what happened," Shinji told Misato as they walked into Nerv HQ parking garage after the evening's synch test. "No offence Shinji but you screwed this up pretty bad." "Believe me, I know," he said softly, "I just don't know what to do. I don't think anything I do or say could make up for it, in fact I think the only way this could have been worse is if I had slept with Asuka instead of just kissing her." "Personally I’m surprised she even let you touch her, much less tripped you into a liplock," Misato said as she shook her head in wonder, "but as far as Hikari goes the best thing is to just give her time to think, and then apologize. If she still wont take you back after you honestly and _fully_ admit you were wrong, and that you are sorry, then... I don't know. Just give it time though Shinji, this is a messed up situation and there is no quick way to fix it." "Thank you Misato" he said, "I don't know why I let all this happen... I’m sorry to trouble you with all of it." "Don't sweat it Shinji, to be honest things get so dull when the Angels aren't attacking that I’m actually glad for the distraction-- not to say that this isn't important. But we’re kinda starved for gossip up on the bridge" "I see" he said, trying not to smile as he pictured Misato and the others gossiping with his father sitting a few dozen feet above. "So did you look at the synch test?" Misato asked as they got into her car. "No, how was my test score?" "You’re almost even with Asuka now, a little more and you’ll be number one." "I don't know if that’s such a great thing," he said with a frown, "she wasn't happy that I was catching up last time, I don't think she'd be very happy if I started scoring better than her." "This isn't a competition despite Ritsuko’s crazy notions that it is... She really needs to stop listening to that American from the second branch." "I guess, but I don't think it would make much difference... with Asuka _everything_ is a competition." "Maybe, but that’s no reason to encourage her." []====[] []====[] When Shinji stepped out of the shower that night he found Asuka standing in his way. "OK Third Child, just what the _hell_ did you do to Hikari?" She demanded with embers blazing in her eyes. He frowned and shook his head. Typical that she would blame him and not realize that it was also her fault. Nevertheless he was worried that something had happened and asked what she meant. "Hikari called in sick at school today, and she _never_ calls in sick. That place you two went to last night is the best restaurant in the city and there is no way it was food poisoning. What did you do?" "Why does it have to be something _I_ did?" he asked as he looked away from the redhead. "Well who else could it be? Obviously it isn't Kensuke, now _spill_!" "Lets just say that it was something _we_ did," he told Asuka bitterly as he pushed past her and went to his room. As he shut his door he heard a sharp whisper drift through the house. "Oh shiest!" []====[] []====[] "Come on Hikari, you got to come out sometime," Nozomi insisted from her sister’s doorway, "you cant keep eating in your room, and if you miss any more school you’ll lose your job as class rep!" "I don't care," was the muffled reply. "Hikari, please, you got to at least tell me what’s wrong!" "Go away Nozomi, I don't want to talk to anyone." Hikari said from her room, "just leave me alone!" Nozomi had to fight the urge to kick her sitter's door. She had seen Kodama go through this and it hadn't been pretty either. That time had been when the older Horaki sister had missed out on a chance to go out with a guy she’d had a crush on for five years. The resulting depression had lasted almost a week, but that had been nothing compared to this. She had overheard Kodama chewing out the guy that Hikari had fixed up with Asuka, and she knew that the date between them had gone badly, and now her sister's date had apparently been botched somehow. Nozomi knew that she was smarter than most of the kids her age. Sometimes she could be smarter than her sisters, and there had been rare occurrences when she had beaten her father at strategy games, but she didn't have a clue how to help her sister if the older girl refused to talk to her. As she sat down in the living room and frowned, she decided that she would talk to Shinji as soon as possible and find out what the hell had happened on their date. []====[] []====[] It appeared out of nowhere and started hovering in the center of town. It was hundreds of feet wide and spherical with strange patterns covering it. Until it started moving, Nerv’s detection equipment never even detected it and as they scrambled to get the city’s population to the shelters, Shinji, Rei, and Asuka were sent out in the Evangelions. "That's all we know about it," Misato told them over the inter-linked communications system as she completed her briefing, "so I want the three of you to approach it cautiously and observe its reaction. If at all possible try to lead it out of the city. Asuka I want you to take point, the rest of you back her up." "You got it," Asuka said with a feral grin. "Be careful, all of you," Misato told them as she signed off. Asuka had them spread out and flank the sphere, and one by one they tried to get its attention. Stepping into plain view didn't work. Waving at it didn't work. It just continued to float around above the city. Finally Asuka decided it was time to try a direct approach. "Shinji, I want you to take up a sniper position over in C block. Rei, you grab the positron rifle in case we need some serious firepower." "What are you going to do?" Shinji asked. Asuka grinned again and Shinji flinched at the girl's violent enthusiasm, "I’m going to try out this new progressive ax." They scrambled to comply, and Asuka climbed a nearby building, placing herself even with the huge sphere. Once the other two were in position, She checked her radar, and jumped at the Angel. However, as she made the downward swing with the Smash Hook, the angel totally disappeared. Her Eva was sent tumbling off balance and she crashed into a building upside-down. Shaking off her disorientation, she tried to right herself. It wasn't until seconds later that she heard the external pickups relaying the rapid-fire thundering of the Palette gun. "Shinji! Report!" She screamed, as Misato demanded an update as well. Switching on her interlink, she saw Shinji looking up, then down as he screamed for help. Even more worrisome was the odd static that was coming through on the holographic display. As she got her Eva to its feet, she managed to just catch a view of the Angel hovering over C block where Shinji had been positioned. Rei was actually shouting Shinji’s name as she opened fire on the Angel, but it was too late, his interlink was dead. Furious at the Angel for whatever it had done to her team mate, Asuka climbed on top of the nearest building to get a better view, and once she did-- she let out a gasp of shock. The buildings-- the city was sinking into the Angel’s Shadow. To make maters stranger the shadow was now in D block, and there was an odd empty gap where C block had been a few moments before. "Why didn't his damn plug eject?" Asuka demanded. "Its no use," Maya told them from the command center, "we can't get a response!" "Get him out of there Rei!" Asuka ordered as she raced to help out. "Belay that," came a grim voice, and for a moment Asuka thought it was commander Ikari-- however she suddenly realized that it had been Misato. "What are you talking about?" Asuka demanded, "Shinji's in there-- we cant just-" "This is an order Asuka, until we know what we’re dealing with we can't risk it." "But major--" "That's _enough_ Asu.... Rei?" Misato hadn't been expecting that at all, and it took her a moment to recover from the emotional pleading in the pale girl’s voice. "I'm sorry... but we don't have a choice for now..." []====[] []====[] Shinji wasn't sure where he was. The last thing he remembered was falling asleep in the entry plug of Unit One. He figured he was dreaming because he didn't know how else he could have ended up on a train. Sitting across from him was a younger kid. He would have said something to the kid by now, but he was more than a little creeped out by him. The boy looked just like he had a few years ago, and stranger yet-- was sitting with his hair hiding his eyes. It was something Shinji himself did when he was frightened or nervous-- he felt in his minds that it hid him in the same way that it his view. "Who are you?" he finally asked. "I am Shinji Ikari," the boy said. "I don’t understand, I’m Shinji Ikari, how could you..." "It is because I _am_ you. This self incorporates another self within. The 'self' has in fact always consisted of two selves." "Two selves?" "Yes, there is the self who observes, and the self who is observed by others. To expound-- there is the Shinji Ikari in your mind, which is myself. There is also Shinji Ikari in Misato Katsuragi's mind, the Shinji Ikari in Asuka Soyru's mind, the Shinji Ikari in Rei Ayanami's mind, the Shinji Ikari In Gendou Ikari's mind and the Shinji Ikari in Hikari Horaki's mind. Each of these Shinji Ikaris' are different, as the minds they exist in are different, but each is in fact a true Shinji Ikari. That which you fear, have always feared and still fear is the Shinji Ikari in the minds of others." "I'm just afraid of being hated, "Shinji said to the boy defensively" "You fear being hurt." "Is that wrong?" Shinji asked "Only to an extent. Fear of pain, whether emotional or physical is a natural thing. It is when we can not face even a shadow of that fear that it becomes an overwhelming problem. For example-- why do you continue to make excuses not to take swimming lessons?" "I..." "You fear the water, you fear drowning and you allow this fear to rule you. You fear being alone, and this brings difficulty. You deceive yourself by saying that you don't talk to people because you fear rejection-- that they will leave you alone as some have in the past. Yet if you do not speak to others you will always remain alone." "But I talk to people, I talk to Kensuke, and Touji and Rei..." "And Hikari?" "I want to, but she won't speak to me." "And have you spoken to these other since that night?" "No..." "You have been lying to yourself Shinji Ikari. Because one person leaves you does not mean everyone will leave you. Because one person leaves you does not mean that they are never coming back." "But it hurts so much sometimes..." "Yes it does, but enduring pain sometimes brings things that are worthwhile. Had you not stayed, had you run away when the chance was offered, you would never have had the chance you did with Hikari. You would never have enjoyed her affection. You chose to stay and Pilot Eva, do you think her company-- even if you can no longer enjoy it-- was worth this choice?" "Yes." "Do you agree that some things are worth fighting for?" "Yes." "Then some goals are worth the pain suffered to reach them?" "Yes" "Do you love her?" "...Yes. I do." "Then don’t give in without a fight." []====[] []====[] Asuka knew she didn't have much time, but she had something to say and it couldn't wait. Any battle with an angel might be the last, and she didn't want to die without at least letting Hikari know she was sorry. It took a couple of calls and promising to pick up Misato’s dry- cleaning for a month, but finally she found the shelter where Hikari Horaki was. The Section Two agent led her through the crowd to where Hikari and her sisters were sitting. When she stepped up to her friend, Hikari looked op at her, then back to the floor. "What do you want Asuka?" "I want to know what the hell is wrong with you and Shinji." "It's none of your business," Hikari said coldly. "Damnit Hikari, this is my business, I don’t care if you two break up, get married, or fly to the moon, but I don’t want any of it to happen because of me." "I'm sorry then." "hmph, well I guess if you wanna be snotty with me then you're entitled... but at least cuss Shinji out, break up with him, and get it over with! We don’t need a pilot as screwed up as he could get if you drag this out." "Its more complicated than that." "Oh? Do tell." "I want to forgive him Asuka...But because he tried to lie about it I can't do that right now. I think I could have forgiven it if he’d just admitted it, but he lied to my face. That’s a lot harder to forgive." "I see..." Asuka said with a nod of understanding. She would have said more, but the spook tapped her on the shoulder then and she realized it was time to go. She turned to say goodbye to Hikari, but the girl had disappeared. Asuka sighed, she'd missed her chance to apologize. "Well... damn." []====[] []====[] "The energy reserves are almost at their limit," Misato said grimly from her chair. She was furious at Ritsuko, at Gendou Ikari and Nerv in general. The plan if you could call it that, to save Shinji was more likely to kill the poor kid, and there wasn't a damn thing she could do. She wondered if this was what he’d felt like when Hikari refused to talk to him... "Life support is in the red," Maya added from her console "We’ll advance the schedule by twelve minutes... with any luck the kid will still be alive." []====[] []====[] He’d woken up back in the plug, and immediately wished he hadn’t. The cold was all encompassing, and his Plugsuits energy was too low to keep him warm any longer. The LCL filters had given out sometime while he’d slept and the liquid was becoming more and more difficult to breathe. He knew he was going to die soon. 'The oxygen circulation’s stopped and the suit is about to give out...' he thought, 'I always knew that Eva might kill me, but I never thought it would be like this. I wish I’d at least been able to tell Hikari I was sorry...' Slowly, everything grew dimmer and dimmer until he was surrounded by darkness. Just as the last thin shred of consciousness fled from him, he felt a warmth envelope him. Confused by the sudden change, he opened his eyes and found himself sailing through a sea of stars, wrapped in someone's arms. As he looked around in shock, he realized the person holding him was... familiar. "Mother?" he asked in wonder. []====[] []====[] They did not know if it was going to work, but according to Doctor Akagi it was the only real chance they had. As Units Two and Zero stood in preparation to unfold their AT fields, over a hundred aircraft were circling overhead. Each craft carried a Non Nuclear mine-- each capable of the destructive power of an atomic blast. In less than a minute, they would begin dropping the bombs into the Angel’s Shadow, which for reasons that Rei Ayanami only instinctually understood was actually the body of the Angel. If the plan worked, Unit One would be forcibly expelled from the Dirac Sea that had swallowed it, and with luck, Shinji Ikari would still be alive. It was strange to her that his predicament had occupied so much of her mind in the past few hours. Stranger still that Pilot Soyru's ranting about his skills-- or in her opinion, lack thereof-- had angered her. Anger was unfamiliar to her, and it worried her. Her purpose might be jeopardized if this wild emotion overwhelmed her. If she lost control then she would be disposed of and the third would be awakened. It was a process that she did not anticipate fondly. In fact-- she feared it. Fear was not as new to her as anger, but it bothered her almost as much. She had seen fear overwhelm Pilot Ikari to the point where he had been unable to respond quickly enough-- resulting in his current predicament. Emotions were enjoyable, and she was glad to experience them when she could, but she recognized the danger therein. As the time ticked down to the zero hour, she wondered what love was like. She did not have long to ponder this however, because thirty seconds before the bombs were to be dropped, the earth began to quake. []====[] []====[] For Misato Katsuragi, the horror of what she witnessed that day was overwhelmed by the pride she felt for Shinji. When the ground began to shake and the Angel’s ‘Shadow’ in the sky began to shimmer she knew in her heart that he was making his escape. Despite Ritsuko's insistence that what was happening was impossible, she knew it was Shinji. For Asuka Langley Soryu, the grandeur was overwhelmed by the horror. Unit One’s escape from the Angel was so revolting that she couldn't bear to look away. As the angel’s shadow above turned gray, a fist erupted from its side, sending out a fountain spray of blood that would fill a small lake. The hole made was soon a splitting crack, and soon she saw the horrifying head and shoulders of Evangelion Unit one emerging from the Angel’s dying body. As the beast let loose with a roar that sounded part mechanical, and part living creature, she could only think one thing. "Mine Gott in Himel... is _that_ what I’m piloting?" For Rei Ayanami the fear was washed away in a sense of relief for Pilot Ikari. Whatever the reasons behind it’s reactivation, Unit One was Free, and her purpose was still intact, but even this wasn't as satisfying as knowing that Ikari was still alive... as Unit One fell to earth in a ground shaking impact, she wondered why this was so. For Ritsuko Akagi, everything else was overwhelmed by a sense of fear and dread. Unit one should _not_ have been able to reactivate like that without power, and if it’s core was that active then it meant one of two things. Either the beast within the Eva was closer to the surface than they had believed, and they had less control than they thought, or Ikari had lied to here about what had really happened in 2004. Either way, it would disrupt Seele’s timetable. As Unit one stood, covered in the Angels gore, she shuddered and wondered aloud, "Dear God in Heaven... What kind of _monster_ have we made this from?" []====[] []====[] As the LCL drained and fresh air reached his lungs, Shinji tried not to retch from the sensation. Whatever LCL was, in small amounts it was absorbed into the walls of his lungs. This didn't make the vomiting up of the larger amounts any more pleasant or the first few breaths of air once his lungs were clear. He leaned back in the chair and tried to relax. He wasn't sure what had just happened. It was like his first fight, and the memories were fading from his mind rapidly. He did feel somehow that his mother was proud of him-- although he didn't understand why. Just before he passed out again, the hatch opened and Misato practically flew into the entry plug, her eyes streaked with tears. "Shinji! Are you ok?" she cried as she held him tightly. His grip on consciousness was fading fast, but he just barely had the strength to reply. "I couldn't go... without telling her I was sorry." []====================[] To be continued... []====================[] Author’s incoherent babbling Ahhh, part two and the reason for the Book's title ^_^ Those of you from the EFML know where this is going, but for the rest of you.... BWAA HAHAHAHAHA you're just gonna have to wait ^_^ And just for the record, yes I am crazy ^_^ Lot of Email lately asking why I haven't posted chapters faster... well thing is that between work, my personal life, and the madness that is my family-- I get little time to work on TWS at home. The reason y'all on the EFML are getting new projects is that I do those on my ancient laptop at work-- which is too old to take documents from my desktop at home. I promise that I'll try to keep posting at least a chapter a month, but its not easy, and I appologise in advance if things get too out of wack and I cant keep up the pace. Funny thing about ACCs, the names I used were ones from another fic I’m working on. Its an El Hazard fic I’m calling Days of Thunder (and no it does _not_ star Tom and Nicole) the main characters Yume, Ichigo, and Denki specifically are the ones. FYI, Yume means ‘dream’ Ichigo means ‘strawberry’ and Denki means ‘electricity’. Have I mentioned that I love it when names do that? Have I mentioned the term shameless plug? ^_^ expect it to start appearing when TWS is all done. The early notes on it are done and I've got the plot almost fleshed out. Btw, extra points to anyone who can guess what the game Kensuke and Touji have been playing at the entertainment center is. ^_^ Anyway, that’s all for now. Hotwire Chain Lightning Studios http://www.chainlightningstudios.com