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27 June 2000
Northern Territory News headlines
Torch mania hits Darwin -
Headlines on pages 1, 3, 5, Editorial on page 10 and Special Feature on pages 15, 16, 17, 18, 22, 23, 24 and 25.
And the top story of them all
'Sprinter Crystal to go slow with torch (page 1)
The top story of them all - 'Australia's fastest 16-year-old will be in the world's "slowest" relay carries the Olympic Torch through Palmerston this week.' She might be fast but there is undoubtedly a faster male 16-year-old in Australia. The fearless prediction of 25 000 to witness the arrival of the torch to Mindil Beach is relegated to page three, while the chance to win $100 by wearing a Northern Territory News sun visor is on page five.
'NT rangers set off to count crocs'
Now to some real news. Parks and Wildlife Commission rangers are venturing out at night to count crocs in all major Top End river systems. The survey is used to keep track of populations as part of the Commission's Crocodile Management Program, an obligation under the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species. Crocodile skins can only be exported if the species is under an approved management program. Basically if you don’t count, you can't kill.
'Dumbing-down effect of bikinis'
Another lost opportunity for aspiring researchers. 'Wearing a bikini makes a woman dimmer and the more intelligent the woman, the more noticeable the effect, a psychologist reported this week'. The psychologist, Rob Bracey of Sussex University said "A woman wearing a bikini quite simply cannot think straight. If you are wearing skimpy swimwear, then part of your brain is continuously monitoring everyone else around you'. What's more the effect can last for hours or even days. I'm sure further research is needed and I'm sure there would be the odd volunteer.
'UFO crew arrives to open NT-files'
With one research opportunity closed, another has emerged with all the recent UFO sightings in the NT. Four UFO researchers from the American Beyond Boundaries Society have arrived in the Territory to investigate these sightings. The four are reported as believing that the US Government is working with "non-humans" at Pine Gap, carrying out "reverse engineering experiments as a result of crash retrieval". Like we know what that means. One of the researchers was also quoted "We want to rid ourselves of the image of being nutters". Hahahahahahahaha.
'NT man shattered after wedding proposal'
A Katherine man has won a national Tim-the-Yowie-Man Award after proposing to his girlfriend by swinging into her bedroom window from a telegraph pole. The window was shut and his bride-to-be said no as he lay in hospital from cuts. An Alice Springs man was also featured on the Weird Index after waking one morning to find one of his chooks frozen to death. He gave the chook mouth to mouth and brought it back to life. The amazing and true fact about these stories is that they are not unusual for the Territory.
And from the ABC Internet
NT calls for indigenous education funds
'The Federal Government is committed to implementing the recommendations of the Collins report on indigenous education, but has not allocated any new funding to address the issue'. So the NT Government complains. Like they care.
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