NT NEWS STORIES - NEWS AT ITS BEST
January 13, 2000
Page 1 - Three front page crocodile stories
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No 1 - Monster croc's three-hour fight - Hoppy - the three legged crocodile 4.6m long caught after menacing locals that had fed it.� So what will the locals do - 'Nothin to do now.� But we'll find another one, don't you worry'.� Only in the Northern Territory can we find indigenous youth with a touch of Officer Barbrady and Joh Bjelke- Peterson.
No 2 - River death no accident - 'The death of a man whose body was found in a Kimberley river was being treated as suspicious, police said yesterday'.� 'But rescuers were thwarted by a 4m saltwater crocodile nearby'.� So lets shoot the croc!� It may be a small point but can you rescue a dead man.
No 3 - Third Croc Dundee on way: Page 2 - Nothin better than knowing that once page one is read - another croc story will be on Page 2.� Can someone please explain to me how Linda Koslowski can possibly be worth $1m for a reprise role.� This film will see Dundee travel back to Australia to battle environmental vandals.� Hmmm let me see - the entire governments of Australia.� Can't wait for this one.
And if you thought we were finished there - boy bitten by snake on page 3, wasps attack a 70 year old farmer in Queensland, Telstra cops blast over phone bugs (oops sorry wrong theme) on page 6, a croc letter on page 11, a barking dog letter also on page 11 and what more could anyone need to know today.�
On to more serious world news - 'Cat cooker sent to jail' - London, a 19 year old who roasted his pet kitten in a microwave before hanging it by his front legs got his just dessert by being sent to jail for three months.� No doubt he has a taste for jail food.
Yes we do sometimes hear about the rich and famous,� Today's little gem is the heartwarming story about the young lovers Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas.� A pre-nuptial agreement - seems odd that true love wouldn't ride over such a tacky bit of paper.� Commentators are betting on where the wedding will be held.�� The real bet should be on how long will the marriage be and where will the divorce court be.�