The Best of the
Northern Territory
04 February 2000
Slow News Friday - Headlines from the Northern Territory News
Front page - 'Jan's new arm an Aussie first'
'Darwin woman Jan Richardson has become the first person in Australia to be fitted with a $65 000 bionic "miracle" arm.' the story reads. And a little further on 'Ms Richardson said her new arm was a miracle. She said: "It is a true woman's arm. I can't wash the dishes because the water will short it out and I can't vacuum because constant vibration will affect it"'. Queues at Darwin Hospital have increased dramatically with people lining up for the new arm hoping to get out of a few daily chores. But no pain no gain - first you have to lose your right arm above the elbow in a car rollover near Timber Creek. I have a question - how can you lose the arm above your elbow and not that below?
Also on the front page - 'Bus driver sniffs out dope bust'
I've always wondered what a dope smelt like. I would've thought such a bust would have been common at the bus depot. Oops. This story is of a coach driver who detected a strong whiff of cannabis when he opened the luggage compartment. He called police who found 84g of the stuff in two suitcases,
Page 3 - 'Darwin braces but storm blows away'
Still upset by the lack of severe weather this wet, the forecasters from the Weather Bureau took a new tack today and issued a severe storm warning. But as the Northern Territory News said 'The line of storms that threatened the city turned out to be a fizzer'. Apparently the wind gauge at Darwin Airport hardly moved. Oh well - it will be interesting to see the next warning.
Page 4 - 'Computers stolen'
An all too common story in the NT. Two computers worth $5,000 were stolen from an office in Cavenagh Street. Can anybody tell me why Government offices have no security, often have no front desks, staff are not educated to question strange people on entry, no key access etc etc etc.
Page 7 - 'Shots wreck war signs'
High-powered rifles have been used to damage dozens of historic World War II signs. Military-style ammunition had been used. I thought Johnny had rid us of all those nasty guns. What is the intelligence of those who are shooting the signs, particularly given that it looks as though some of the shots were from 3 ft or less? I guess the signs bear an uncanny resemblance to magpie geese. Unfortunately the publicity may do the exact opposite of that intended.
But there's always showbiz to brighten up the day
page 17 - 'Drug-fee Noel?'
Match the headline to the story
A. Noel Gallagher announces he did not take drugs on Christmas Day
B. Noel Gallagher doubts whether his marriage can survive without drugs and booze
C. Norm Gallagher returns to campaign for pharmaceutical benefits at Christmas for metal workers