Kangaroo Lil

Let me tell you the story of Kangaroo Lil,

the girl in the woollen vest

Though her leg hair was long, as you’ll hear from my song,

She’s the girl that the Outback loved best.

Now Lil was a beauty, in spite of the smell

of the sheep dip and kangaroo dung,

And the shearers all loved her, ‘cause they were all men

And at least she was healthy and young.

No one knew where she hailed from, she said she’d a past

but would laugh and avoid saying more

And if anyone teased her she’d land them a punch

That would lay them flat out on the floor.

Now Lil had a favourite, his name was young Stu,

he was rugged and handsome and strong

But young Stuey was shy and when Lil caught his eye

He would blush and rush off to the john.

Lily’s heart was aglow when she saw him, and though

he tried hard to disguise his desire,

She knew when she poured him a Tooheys or two

That his sheep-shearing heart was on fire.

How to win him and not get him killed by his mates

was the problem that teased Lily’s thoughts

In a town small as this, if you risked just one kiss

Chances are you were bound to get caught.

Lily swam every day in a pool far away

from the eyes and the ears of the town.

People thought she was mad, the smell wasn’t that bad

And they all warned her that she could drown.

Lily wrote Stu a note, hoping that he could read

And that night, when he fell on his face

Slipped the note in his shirt as he sprawled in the dirt

And then slung him out of the place.

The next day, bright and early, Lil went for her swim

with a quiver of hope in her heart.

Did young Stu find her note? Could he read what she wrote?

Was he still in bed, drunk as a fart?

As she swam through the pool, in the shade green and cool

she heard rustling and looked round in hope

Young Stuey stood there with the sun on his hair

And his hands clutched a long coil of rope.

Lily smiled like a siren, Stu’s heart was aflame

as she rose, gleaming wet, from the pool.

“Gonna tie me up, Stu?” Lily’s voice was a coo.

Stuey thought that he looked like a fool.

“For the sheep” he explained, as he stood there unsure

of what he should say or do next.

Lily made the first move, which just goes to prove

Women are the more decisive sex.

They made love in the pool, and then in the bush

and then up a tree, which was frightening.

Lily knew what to do; it was all new to Stu

But he learned with the swiftness of lightning.

Stuey went back to base with a grin on his face

which not even the boss could erase.

When he said “Where’ve you bin?” Stuey gave him a grin

And answered “All over the place.”

There was one man who knew what had happened to Stu

to make him so smiley and bright;

His name was McQueed, Stuey knew he could read

And had found him the previous night.

He had read Lily’s note with Stu’s hand on his throat

and had sworn on his life not to squeal

Stuey bribed him with beer, so he knew not to fear

That McQueed would go back on the deal.

In the bar room that night, Lily sure looked a sight

She was dressed up to kill and looked stunning,

She was wearing a dress, her hair wasn’t a mess

She had got all the guys’ motors running.

When Stu walked in the bar she said “Oh, there you are”

with indifference and threw him a beer

But she couldn’t quite hide her womanly pride

As he gave her a slap on the rear.

For appearances’ sake Lil decided to break

a bottle across Stuey’s head,

But she hit him too hard, Stu went down like a card

And somebody yelled “Stuey’s dead!”

With the speed of a sneeze, Lil was down on her knees

wailing “Stuey, my love, don’t be dead!”

As she shook him and cried, Stuey opened one eye

And quietly groaned “Oh, my head.”

Well, the other guys reckoned that letting Lil deck him

had earned Stu his conjugal rights.

A wedding was planned, Lily took Stuey’s hand

In a dress that was lacy and white.

Now they both run the bar, Stuey still has the scar

from the bottle that brought them together.

Lily says “It’s a sign that Stu’s really mine

And that love, unlike beer, lasts forever.”

		*Kangaroo Lil*