Excerpt
from “Vibrant Living”
Fred G. Thompson
Chapter Eight
CELEBRATE CHANGE
Some
guidelines are helpful when major changes are made, or thrust upon
us. Retirement is a sudden change when we have worked all our
lives in a structured environment. The job defines us, then
suddenly there is no job, and no time structure. What to do?
There are four stages one must go through when
entering such a major period of change:
1. Check “What’s going on?”
2. Establish the security base
3. Set the roles and goals
4. Plan effective action
Remember Stephen Leacock’s expression “He..flung
himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions"? And
the expression “Ready, Fire, Aim!”? Well, to cope with any new
and major change, first, stop and reconnoitre, ask yourself “What’s
going on here?” This is the period of chaos that takes place
during the initial period of any major change. Allow it to be.
Take your time. Look around before you make any false moves.
You have read about executives who, when parachuted into a big company,
make a tour of the operations to find out what is going on, before they
take over their full responsibility. Don't get on your horse and
ride off in all directions.
In a divorce, death or major change in life, stop
and reconnoitre before making any significant decisions.
Retirement, for some, is one of these major decisions.
In this first stage, "What's Going On?", there might
be a grieving period to be dealt with. Again, allow it to be, that is
part of the process, but keep it within limits, then get on with life.
The next stage, once you have found out what is
going on, is to secure your operating base. This means your income,
your health, and your relationships.
I went to a psychiatrist one time to help sort out
my life. She had some words of wisdom about coping with change that I
thought were amusing but had a good ring of truth about them. She said
“..the bull in the pasture first of all secures his turf, that is, his
food supply, then deals with his enemies; then, and not until then, can
he make love to the ladies.”
So, secure your pasture so your dependents as well
as yourself can survive.
Now, the third phase in the process of adjusting to
major change is to set the role and goals, to define a kind of purpose
for your new life. It is not enough to just let things
happen. Happiness grows along with personal progress and
growth. Vibrant living is the by-product of an active and
purposeful life.
Finally, the fourth step in the adjustment to change
is making the foregoing effective, giving it expression. Remember the
bit from Tennyson's poem Ulysses (see Chapter One) “Some work of
noble note, may yet be done.”
When I was first separated and feeling somewhat lost
- that was my period of chaos - I confided this state to a friend and
she said “Throw a party!” I did, and it did the trick. So,
I pass it on to you.
“If change
confuses you, throw a party!
"Celebrate change!”
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