NEW HAVEN - The New Haven Ghetto Thugs announced late yesterday that 
the week 7 New York Mets Underachiever of the Week Award went to wide 
receiver Darrell Jackson for, well, nothing...literally.  Mets pitcher 
Al Leiter made the presentation, and said he was embarrassed to do 
so.  This is Jackson's second award this season and Coach Stanley 
said he expects Jackson to win the award "at least two or three more 
times."

The award ceremony was held late last night in the Rosewood section 
of the city, where Coach Stanley hoped some real ghetto thugs would 
"drive by and take out" Jackson.  Fortunately for Jackson however, 
the only violence that did occur, was Stanley throwing a small 
Albertus Magnus student in frustration over Marshall Faulk's 
47-point performance against the Thugs in week 7.  The student was 
not hurt in the incident, but he did land on week 7 hero Shannon 
Sharpe, injuring his leg.  Sharpe is listed as day-to-day and 
should play next week.

In related news, the associated press reported early this morning 
that Stanley was overheard in a local bar characterizing a Ghetto 
Thugs move next season as "likely."  The comment would not be 
confirmed (nor denied) by G-Thugs media relations director Joe-son.

The Ghetto Thugs face Da Beers in week 8.