NEW HAVEN - It was announced this morning by the New Haven Ghetto 
Thugs that the week 6 New York Mets Underachiever of the Week Award 
went to wide receiver Quincy Morgan for his 1-point contribution. 
The second award for Morgan was presented by Mets outfielder Jeromy 
Burnitz who commented, "I have long sideburns."

The award ceremony took place at New Haven's Union Station where 
Morgan was later put on a bus for Freeagency.  Joining Morgan on 
the Greyhound were kicker Jeff Wilkins, tight end Wesley Walls and 
quarterback Mark Brunell.  Defensive lineman Mike Maslowski was put 
on a train, as his fat ass wouldn't fit on the bus.  Coach Stanley 
appears to be making moves in preparation for next week's must-win 
game against the LA Sucubi.

In a post-ceremony interview Stanley once again refused to comment 
on the growing rumors of a team move.  The KFS west coast bureau 
reported last week on possible destinations for the team, but the 
source of the vague information was not listed and is considered 
speculation by an overzealous committee anxious to keep the Ghetto 
Thugs as far away from the west coast as possible.

As the Ghetto Thugs continue to lose, and speculation grows about the 
team's arrangement with the City of New Haven, Coach Stanley is under 
increasing pressure to produce a win.