NEW HAVEN - For the first time this season, the New Haven Ghetto 
Thugs New York Mets Underachiever of the Week Award was awarded to a 
defensive player, as it was announced this morning that d-back Artrell 
Hawkins earned the week 13 honor.  Mets pitcher Jamie Cerda, who 
presented the award said, "Who?"  Hawkins contributed 1 point with 
his 1 tackle assist.

In other Ghetto Thugs news, team owner Jeff Stanley finally announced 
that the G-Thugs will in fact be moving out of New Haven after this 
season.  Among other reasons, Stanley claimed "Apparel sales are 
down, the city's knocking down our stadium, we get little fan support, 
no one wants to play here, and I'm afraid of getting shot."  Stanley 
said that in an effort to expand the KFS fan base, stop being cold, 
and fill the void left by the Alabama Autodraftaz and former 
Miami-based UJB Fightin' JBs, the team will be moving south.  
"Alabama is out of the question, but Florida is a strong 
possibility" Stanley responded when asked about a more specific 
destination for the team, "The JBs seemed to have pretty good fan 
support down there, and we'd like to see that for our team too."
 
The news is hardly a shock to the rest of the league, as a Ghetto 
Thugs move has been rumored since week 5.  The move could certainly 
benefit the league, as this season's west coast expansion has already 
demonstrated.

The 6th place G-Thugs take on the 7th place-by-1-point Urlacher & 
Friends next week.  Coach Stanley has requested that the matchup be 
played in Los Angeles because "it's like 9 f**kin' degrees in 
Connecticut."