Day 1
Have decided to keep diary-erm-journal (more manly)... as I need a place to discuss the extent of my hottness. Am so hott.
Day 2
So many girls, so little time. Every girl in Galbadia totally wants me and my gun. However, got smacked today offering to let a girl touch my gun. Called me an insensitive jerk. Must become more sensitive in hopes that next time the answer will be 'yes'.
Day 3
Have adopted cowboy hat in attempt to make self more sensitive. Ok, ok, maybe not so much sensitive as hot. Also, have become rather partial to playing with local butterflies.
Day 5
Like butterflies because they're pretty, like me. Cowboy hat still lookin' hot. Irvine such a hot name.
Day 10
Got assigned to mission today. V. upset when cocky headmaster disturbed butterfly time. Jerk. However, met some v. nice, and extremely familiar people from Balamb Garden, including a blonde with a funky tatoo, leggy ex-instructor, cute brunette with nice highlights, hotty with mezmorizingly flippy hair, and quiet kid with hot---erm--- I mean--- ok, yes, hot scar. Think blonde boy might be gay as he seemed to mouth "damn" when I stood up. Also has some strange obsession with "hot dogs" and giggles girlishly when I talked to him. Mission should be interesting.
Day 11
Hotty with flippy hair totally let me touch her chest like twelve times on train ride. Think will like hotty w/ flippy hair. Totally smooth when asking if she wanted to see my "gun". Even replied by offering to show me "numbchucks". Double entendres rule. Take that jerky prude back at Galbadia garden who called me insensitive. Flippy hair girl sooo much hotter.
Day 12
Remembered why everyone looks so familiar. Apparently grew up with them. Always knew little wussy crybaby would turn out gay. Never knew bossy little brat would get such nice legs. Think will wait to tell them all, as was slightly wussy as child and dont want to lose my manly image... at least not until I get some.
Day 13
Apparently on mission to assassinate some sorceress chick. No pressure or anything!! On plus side, chicks totally dig the big gun thing.
Day 14
Have been put on team with Squall. Looking forward to quality time, as I feel as though I have not yet bonded with his hot scar... I mean... him. And, get to ride up on clock during parade. Am psyched as many chicks will be at parade and get totally turned on by my hottness and cowboy hat.
Day 15
Looked totally hot rescuing cute brunette from lizard statues. She so wants me. Is unfortunate for her as Selphie'll kill her if she tries anything.
...Later...
Mission failed. Must take blame as when I saw sorceress, was totally turned on and thought she was too hot to kill. Pretended to wuss out. No fears, though, as Irvine Kinneas never gets stage fright... never. Eventually decided that fate of world slightly more important than hot chick. Unfortunately, hot sorceress did some bullet-floating trick. Damn. Tried redeeming self, but was distracted when hot sorceress shot Squall with ice javelin.
Was cheered up, however, by Selphie, who asked to touch my gun sometime. Perky optimism beginning to rub off on me...