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~*Quotes*~ |
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~*What do an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them. |
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~*Ever notice how many women's problems can be traced to the male gender?
-MENstration
-MENopause
-MENtal Breakdown
-GUYnocology
-HIMmorroids. . . |
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Q: What can a bird do that a man cant?
A: Whistle through its pecker. |
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Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive and caring?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends. |
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Q: Why do men always snore when they lay on their backs?
A: Because their balls fall over their ass-hole and they get vapor lock. |
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Q: How are men like laxatives?
A: Because they irritate the shit out of you. |
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Q: Whats the difference between pregnant women and men?
A: Because one has morning sickness, the other has morning stiffness. |
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Q: What three two-letter words denote 'small'?
A: 'IS IT IN'? |
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~*One day god calls on Adam and says, Adam i have some good news and some bad.
The good news is that i have given you a penis, and a brain.
The bad news is that i have only given you enough blood to operate one of them at a time. |
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~*There is one important thing about penises all girls should know: Penises really do have different sizes, from smallest to largest:
-Small
-Medium
-Oh, God. .
-Does it come in white?! |
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~*How to impress a woman: Compliment her, Cuddle her, Kiss her, Caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, Hug her, hold her, spend money on her, Wine and dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, buy flowers for her, go to the ends of the earth for her. . .
How to impress a man: Show up naked. . .bring beer. |
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~*HOME*~ |
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