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| For right now, since i have so many peoms and songs, i'll only put what i feel is my best on here right now. Maybe later i'll put the other crap on here. ^_^;; |
| DREAMS I keep having dreams that you secretly want me Secretly want me to love you So I act like I have moved on and patiently wait And I pretend to hate you too And maybe you know that's what I'm doing But am I only wasting my time? And all I want is one last goodbye kiss from you Is still loving you a crime? And these dreams haunt me whilst I sleep A deep slumber of my dreams' insanity Dreams that make me smile and make me weep Seemingly realistic with severe profanity And I can't help but to still dream of you I pretend to move on to something improved But I'm still mindless and without a clue To know if from my emotion you're removed I keep having dreams you'll come back to me Back to me with open arms I have the dream that you tell me that you love me And always loved my charms And maybe you don't know that they're there But let me tell you they are And I don't know why I keep trying to touch you You're so close and yet so far And these dreams haunt me whilst I sleep A deep slumber of my dreams' insanity Dreams that make me smile and make me weep Seemingly realistic with severe profanity And I can't help but to still dream of you I pretend to move on to something improved But I'm still mindless and without a clue To know if from my emotion you're removed I keep having dreams that we'll meet someday And everything will be the same These dreams come to mind when I want you most These dreams cause me much shame I just want to know if I'm wasting my time with you I tried so hard to finally let go I can honestly say with all my heart I have tried I can't just say goodbye though And these dreams haunt me whilst I sleep A deep slumber of my dreams' insanity Dreams that make me smile and make me weep Seemingly realistic with severe profanity And I can't help but to still dream of you I pretend to move on to something improved But I'm still mindless and without a clue To know if from my emotion you're removed I keep having dreams that we'll live happily ever after Live happily together forever I keep having dreams that I tell you I still love you It's something I'll never endeavor And in these dreams you return your love to me As I look deeply into your brown eyes I can tell you everything that I am feeling inside I don't have to hide my tortured cries And these dreams haunt me whilst I sleep A deep slumber of my dreams' insanity Dreams that make me smile and make me weep Seemingly realistic with severe profanity And I can't help but to still dream of you I pretend to move on to something improved But I'm still mindless and without a clue To know if from my emotion you're removed I keep having dreams that I'll stop writing poetry Poetry to say how I feel One day I promise I'll tell you what's on my mind My emotions won't be concealed I promise one day I'll make my dreams come true Because dreams aren't reality And when I make my dreams come to life I can only hope for non-fatality And these dreams haunt me whilst I sleep A deep slumber of my dreams' insanity Dreams that make me smile and make me weep Seemingly realistic with severe profanity And I can't help but to still dream of you I pretend to move on to something improved But I'm still mindless and without a clue To know if from my emotion you're removed. <UNTITLED> i wanted to write a poem but i didn't know what to say because my thoughts are all jumbled, by brain is in dissarray why cant i find you? are you only in my dreams? can you take the pain away? will you listen to my screams? or will i be alone on the floor once more by my self and trembling like i have before? will you be there to catch me while my eyes roll back? will you help me breathe aagain through another panic attack? are you going to love me? or are you going to just lead me on? wait until my behavior is something you can frown upon? is that when you will leave me? when i'm at my absolute worst? when you can't put up with any more shit and youv'e been conviced that i am cursed? are you going to leave me dieing embedded in agony and pain? will you think that everything i do is just an attempt in vain? can you not see that i'm breathing? i'm on my feet again it's just that sometimes i need your help it's only every now and then don't try to tell me you've nver needed a hand do't try to tell me you don't need someone who's there just to understand don't try to tell me you know exactly what to do in every situation in your life there's someone that's helped you through supposedly it is I that have pulled you from your tragedy you say to everyone that it is me that is your own insanity remedy haven't i been there for you when you always needed me most? haven't i held you hand through it all and to my heart always kept you close? haven't i always said i'd love you even until the end of time? didn't i always say what i felt even if i couldn't find the rhyme? maybe my mind is confused and jumbled and maybe i am just a little insane but i know from the depths of my soul it's my heart you will always contain i want you to be there as i have been for you especially when i'm just flat out deranged that's the time i'm going to need you the most to tell me that your love for me hadn't been changed i need you to be there when mind is not so strong. please tell me you'll be there when my brain is weak because that is when i need you the most. please hold me while the future looks bleak... GOOKIN SONG (CAKE) There was a cool guy and Gookin was his name Ryan knew him, but I bit him and he never came And we all know the light switch hasn't been the same And after the helmets of war are collected, We think that Janelle got Ryan infected As TJ screams get out of the way After the vodka loses it's high And after she slits he writs and wants to die The lone ranger has indeed returned No one can really explain why a turtle comes to mind Mr. J is older than a dinosaur we will find Invented is screamed in the old schools lunchroom They must be crazy they all assume. As the three of us scream and high five JOB BB King asks who the hell is Bob Just after the fact that we just bought a purple eyeball He asks if they come in yellow striped and blue And Mushoo Fish will never have its big debut Mr. Gookin takes my scissors away As hearts in my bra are eaten on Valentine's Day. There was a cool guy and Gookin was his name Ryan knew him, but I bit him and he never came And we all know the light switch hasn't been the same And after the helmets of war are collected, We think that Janelle got Ryan infected As TJ screams get out of the way And one by one the penguins steal my sanity Gookin is protesting against the manatee As TJ's Dad ad has sexy handwriting The Man-Boy and Boy-Man fight over who is better The nacho made him wear Nate's green sweater Threatening promises and love still given All misunderstandings make me thank god I'm living. While Ryan screams BSCSS Jon was never real we hear him confess As someone falsely smells marijuana And Asians square dance to classical tunes We realize too big are all of our spoons Bringing your coat will do you no good When you're a giant banana that's misunderstood. There was a cool guy and Gookin was his name Ryan knew him, but I bit him and he never came And we all know the light switch hasn't been the same And after the helmets of war are collected, We think that Janelle got Ryan infected As TJ screams get out of the way BROKEN VASE BY MY MORALS, YES I HAVE MORALS, IT'S NOT RIGHT TO JUST LET YOU GO. IT'S NOT RIGHT TO COME INTO SOMEONE'S LIFE AND RUIN IT, BREAK IT LIKE A GLASS VASE, AND LEAVE IT IN PIECES ON THE FLOOR. IT'S NOT RIGHT THAT I DID IT TO YOU, AND IT'S NOT RIGHT THAT YOU DID IT TO ME. THE LEAST WE CAN DO IS TO TRY TO PUT THE PIECES BACK TOGETHER, OR AT LEAST CLEAN UP THE MESS THAT'S BEEN SHATTERED INTO A HUNDRED PIECES. THE ONLY THING YOU ARE GOING TO ACCOMPLISH BY WALKING AWAY, LEAVING A MESS OF BROKEN GLASS IS HAVING SOMEONE STEP ON IT, AND HAVE THEM GET HURT. I'M SICK OF HAVING SOMEONE STEP ON MY BROKEN PIECES AND I IMAGINE YOU'RE PRETTY SICK OF IT TOO. BY LEAVING EACHOTHER IN AN ISOLATION ALL WE DO IS LEAVE THE GLASS ON THE FLOOR AND CUT EACHOTHER. I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU ANYMORE! I DON'T WANT YOU TO HURT ME ANYMORE. PICKING UP THE PIECES OF SHATTERED GLASS WITHOUT PRECAUTION IS GUARENTEED TO GET SOMEONE CUT. THAT'S WHY I WANT IT TO BE FRIENDLY. THAT'S WHY I HAVE BEEN TRYING SO HARD. I'M NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT HOW OR WHY THE VASE GOT SHATTERED I WANT TO TALK ABOUT WHAT KIND OF GLUE IS GOING TO BE USED. I WANT TO FIX THE VASE I BROKE IN YOUR LIFE. I WANT TO PUT IT BACK TOGETHER SO ONE DAY IT CAN HOLD FLOWERS AGAIN. MAYBE MY WELDING SKILLS AREN'T THE GREATEST, BUT DAMNIT, I'M NOT GOING TO LEAVE THIS BROKEN AND SHATTERED GLASS ON YOUR FLOOR IF I KNOW THAT I CAN ONLY HURT MYSELF OR SOMEONE ELSE BY LEAVING IT THERE. AND MAYBE YOU THINK, INSTEAD OF COLLECTING THE PIECES AND PUTTING THEM BACK TOGETHER, NOT WALKING IN THE ROOM WITH THE GLASS ON IT'S FLOORS IS THE SOLUTION. WHY BLOCK OFF A WHOLE ROOM BECAUSE OF A LITTLE GLASS? THERE COULD BE A BEAUTIFUL PAINTING ACROSS THE ROOM, AND THE ONLY WAY TO GET THERE IS THROUGH THE GLASS - IF YOU LEAVE THAT BROKEN GLASS ON THE FLOOR, THEN YOU CAN NEVER SEE THAT PAINTING. THERE COULD BE SO MANY THINGS BEYOND THAT GLASS, THINGS YOU WILL NEVER HAVE IF THIS MESS ISN'T CLEANED. MAYBE THE ONLY WAY OUT OF THE ROOM IS THROUGH WHERE THE GLASS IS, AND IT'S YOUR ONLY DOOR AND YOU ONLY WAY OUT. THE VASE YOU BROKE, I TRIED TO SAVE BEFORE IT FELL, BUT I TRIPPED AND FELL, AND IT BROKE IN MY FACE. IT SHATTERED, AND DUG ITS SHARP EDGES INTO MY SKIN AND EYES. BLINDLY BLEEDING, STUDDERING AND TRIPPING, I TRIED TO PICK IT UP RIGHT AWAY WHILE THE SHARDS OF GLASS WERE STILL IN MY EYES AND UNDER MY SKIN. I BLINDLY GRABBED THE PIECES TIGHTLY, ONLY CAUSING MYSELF MORE DAMAGE, BY CUTTING MYSELF DEEPER AND DEEPER, AND BREAKING THE FRAGMENTS INTO MORE AND MORE PIECES, AND THE MORE I GOT CUT AND THE DEEPER THE SHARP TIPS DUG INTO ME, THE HARDER I WOULD TRY TO GRAB AHOLD AND PICK THEM UP. I WAS STILL BLEEDING FROM THE INITIAL BREAK, I WAS BLINDED, AND HURT. BUT IN TRYING TO PICK UP THE PIECES SO SOON, WHILE STILL BEING BLINDED BY THE BLOOD IN MY EYES, I ONLY CAUSED MYSELF MORE PAIN. WHEN I FELL, YOU FELL ALSO. YOU GOT UP AND LOOKED AT ME FROM ABOVE WHERE I LAY ON THE FLOOR. I TRIED TO GRAB ON TO YOU, AS YOU WALKED AWAY, AND WITH THE PIECES OF GLASS UNDER THE SKIN IN MY HANDS, I HURT YOU AS WELL. I TRIED TO BRING MYSELF UP, THINKING THAT YOU WERE THE ONLY THING THAT COULD HELP ME AT THE TIME, BECAUSE I WAS SO BLINDED. I THOUGHT THE ONLY THING TO HELP ME OUT OF THIS BLOODY MESS WAS YOU. I DIDN'T BOTHER TO THINK OF MY LEGS, I DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE STABLE ENOUGH TO HOLD MY SHAKING AND BLEEDING BODY. I HURT YOU MORE AND MORE AS YOU TRIED TO WALK AWAY, AT THAT POINT IN TIME, MAYBE TO RETURN TO CLEAN UP THE MESS. I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD TO GET UP ALONE. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THE GLASS IN MY HANDS WERE HURTING YOU SO BADLY. I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THAT YOU HAD GOTTEN CUT YOURSELF... THE VASE I BROKE YOU WERE AFRAID OF. YOU RAN AWAY FROM IT. YOU RAN AWAY FROM MY BLOODY HANDS, AND I, STILL BLINDED BY THE BLOOD, USED THEM TO ADVANTAGE. I PUSHED YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS BACK INTO THE SPLINTERING PIECES OF BOTH OF THE SHATTERED AND PAINFUL MESSES. ESPECIALLY MY OWN. IT WAS SELFISH. I PUSHED AND PUSHED, ASKING YOU TO CLEAN IT UP, AND BY DOING SO, I CRUSHED YOUR VASE MORE AND MORE. IT WAS NOT MY INTENTION. I WAS BLOODY, IN PAIN AND BLIND. I KNEW IT WASN'T RIGHT TO LEAVE THE GLASS ON THE FLOOR. I JUST DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO CLEAN IT UP. I WASN'T READY TO CLEAN IT UP. I NEEDED TO SEE AGAIN. I NEEDED THE BLOOD TO STOP. I NEEDED THE PAIN TO GO AWAY. EVENTUALLY, I STOPPED BLEEDING... BUT PICKING ON THE SCABS MADE ME HURT AGAIN, MADE ME BLEED AGAIN, IT MADE ME BLIND... MAY I CLEAN UP THE MESS I HAVE MADE?... MAY WE GLUE THE PIECES BACK TOGETHER?... CAN WE GO TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM?... BECAUSE RIGHT NOW I AM TRAPPED. THE BROKEN VASE IS INFRONT OF MY ONLY EXIT... I'M STUCK IN A CORNER WITH GLASS SURROUNDING ME. YOU COULD EASILY KILL ME. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PUSH ME DOWN ONCE MORE... AND I'LL HAVE BLED TO DEATH... I WILL BLEED TO DEATH IF I CAN'T GET OUT OF THE GLASS... I WANT TO CLEAN THESE MESSES UP. I WANT THEM TO NEVER HURT US AGAIN. I WANT TO GLUE THESE VASES BACK TOGETHER, SO THEY CAN HOLD HEALTHY LIVING FLOWERS. PLEASE LET MY RIGHT WHAT I HAVE WRONGED. PLEASE LET ME FIX YOUR VASE... AND PLEASE FIX MINE ASWELL. WE CAN HELP EACHOTHER PUT THE PIECES BACK TOGETHER... THE SOONER WE DO THIS THE RIGHT WAY, THE SOONER OUR VASES CAN HOLD FLOWERS AGAIN... BUT THE LONGER WE LEAVE THE PIECES ON THE FLOOR... THE LONGER WE'LL HAVE TO WAIT FOR A PLACE TO PUT OUR FLOWERS... AND WHO KNOWS, MAYBE OUR FLOWERS ARE WILTING...? |