SARA: (big pause) Sara Jespersen
ALEX: took a while (much laughter)
JW: are you secretly Matthew?
S: I am secretly Sara, but I wish I was Matthew
JW: no you don�t (more laughter) Grade rank or job title?
S: oh this one takes a while too, I have just become a Sky Tower, Tower Host I am the lowest of the lowest I suspect
JW: date of birth?
S: 2nd of the twelfth �81
JW: Country of Birth?
S: New Zealand or Auckland the machine at work classifies Auckland as a country, so therefore Auckland
FERGUS: wow!
A: it is?
S: it is
JW: and we have also determined that is it a tidy State
A: yes see on the rules over there it says we have to keep our rooms in a tidy state
S: a tidy state where initiative rules?
A: umm I
JW: a tidy state as is the state your in is quite tidy
F: yeah
JW: the room is tidy, I don�t remember what question we are up to, oh that�s right yea, criminal convictions?
S: none
JW: have you ever been involved in Espionage?
S: Depends on the exact definition, probably,
A: oh Thomas something
S: is that industrial espionage?
JW: no that�s personal
S: I dunno
A: that�s disgusting espionage
S: the way that boy does it
F: what boy that masturbating boy?
S: yes the masturbating boy
F: I knew you were talking about that
JW: so we�ll take that as a no or a yes?
S: we�ll take that as a no
JW: have you ever been involved in terrorism?
S: of Alexandra of course
JW: sabotage?
A: of me
S: oh um yes
JW: Of yes?
S: of um yes
JW: do tell
S: I am sure there are too many numerous occasions to recount and most of them would have happened at my working place and most of them involve cunning ways not to work
JW: actions intended to overthrow or undermine parliamentary democracy?
S: sadly though not yet, although telling all Americans that come through the ticket booth, about the sad state of the worlds greatest democracy may count
JW: have you ever broken your nose?
S: no
JW: did you really attack Johnny Cigarettes at the EU cup final?
S: yes
F: you are the only person who has said yes
JW: so we now know who did it
JW: what was all the stuff about your pink houses in the paper?
S: the pink houses in the paper?
JW: yeah, that your pink houses in the paper
S: my pink houses in the paper? Well you know this house is green
JW: mmhh so where is your pink house then?
Much hysterical laughing by Jobie and Alex
S: well I needed something to co-ordinate with the roses
JW: do you feel for Posh and Becks?
S: very sorry for them, for being posh and becks and for only one brain cell between the two of them, which is possibly worth a billion dollars?
JW: is your life worth anything like theirs?
S: no my brain cells are only worth one dollar, but I still have ten billion dollars worth of them
JW: what do you think of new labour?
S: no opinion
JW: no opinion?
S: do we even have new labour in New Zealand?
JW: nah its English related question, ok what aftershaves do you wear?
S: I am not going to admit to that one, none
JW: did you get hassled by your mum for staying up late and what is the latest you have stayed up?
F: oh I can smell Brute over here
S: we get hassled by our mother for staying up past her bedtime which is about ohh 9:01 PM the latest I have ever stayed up would probably involve not much sleep no sleep well it depends on the technical version of sleep I may have been bored enough to sort of stare, but I have worked out the less you sleep, the more you sleep the tireder you get because your body clock chases you don�t when you are asleep, and it catches you because you are not moving and then you get tired, where as if you just work eight hours a day seven days a week
JW: the best example of that was our parents today who preceded to just go to sleep in the car did you bunk off school?
S: never
JW: never?
S: never!
JW: ok would you get back with Nick McCabe if he asked?
S: nick mc cabe I don�t know Nick from works last name, probably not, that�s the only Nick I know no you should never go back
JW: never go back for a second drink from the furry cup?
F: I don�t think Sara drinks from the furry cup
JW: far enough, do you still like lasagna after I delivered to you house all those times?
S: I never liked lasagna
JW: have you got any dieting tips?
S: work at Wendy�s
JW: why because you wont eat anything?
S: no because it is actually healthy, isn�t that a shocker?
JW: what animal you be if you could be any?
S: my cat weenie, did you say that too Alex?
A: I said a telly tubby
A: why weenie?
S: because look, though Mum always make him talk on the phone, mum rang my cell phone and made th cat talk to me, what was that about?
A: drugs
S: Mums on some good drugs isn�t she?
A: she is, your still being interviewed you realise?
JW: what do you think of the new Oasis album?
S: Oasis have a new album?
JW: that�s what everyone said, except Matthew said it was great
A: he loves Oasis
JW: were you and Nick McCabe ever lovers?
S: no, I think we have already established that fact
JW: who is your all time hero?
S: I thought of that the other day but now it has slipped my mind, so I obviously don�t have one. Someone who is not a hypocrite would be my all time hero, anyone who is not a hypocrite
JW: what�s the worst trouble you have been in?
S: worse trouble! I have never been in any trouble isn�t that sad?
JW: what can you cook?
S: can�t cook anything, isn�t that sad?
JW: can you cook ice cream? Alex can cook ice cream
S: I can cook anything from the packet, packet and water
JW: ice cream in bowl
S: I can cook custard sorry
JW: there you go you can cook custard uhh do you rock hard?
S: occasionally, when I can be bothered which is actually less and less
JW: what song best describes you?
S: I want say one of those ones about stalking that have going around and around in my thing, oh maybe I would say Waterfall, oh No no no! I am the resurrection by the Stone Roses not for obvious reasons
F: so you both are Stone Roses songs
JW: Alex is so lazy she did the first one she saw across on the wall
A: I was Elephant Stone
JW: what is your greatest talent?
S: the ability to talk through anything non stop and to go through a day at Sky City without developing repetitive strain syndrome in my smile muscles
JW: what is your most treasured possession?
S: MD Walkman
JW: what would you do if you were invisible for a day?
S: sleep, just sleep
JW: so you wouldn�t go o the girls locker room
S: I am a girl so I can go there anyway
JW: you wouldn�t sniff panties?
S: noo I might be the cat again, or I could go everywhere for free