Q: ahh Q, Austin, Crombie, ohhh see I ain�t got no time to think
JW: grade rank or job title?
Q: ahh grade 4.6 err rank umm secret officer agent, ahh what was the last one?
JW: job title
Q: job title, oh wait a minute there was some sort of. Ohh clover
JW: clover?
Q: clother
JW: date of birth?
Q: 29th of the 5th 1976
JW: country of birth?
Q: umm what?
JW: country of birth?
Q: oh Perthinesia
JW: criminal convictions?
Q: pass
JW: have you ever been involved in espionage?
Q: umm espionage, umm no
JW: terrorism?
Q: ahh I have been a little terror, oh shit I can�t edit this!
JW: sabotage?
Q: hey I like that movie
JW: actions intended to undermine or overthrow parliamentary democracy?
Q: um I have seen parliament time on TV that�s about all I go for
FERGUS: it�s called question time actually
Q: question? Oh whatever
JW: have you got a broken nose have you ever had a broken nose?
Q: no, oh maybe I�ve injured my nose, but I hate the taste of blood so I always try and not bang my nose
JW: so you haven�t broken it?
Q: no, no blood nose
JW: did you really attack Johnny Cigarettes at the European cup grand final?
Q: oh I wish, no I had my bitches do that
Fergus starts laughing hysterically because Sara told us that she did it. So obviously Sara is Q�s bitch
JW: what was all that stuff about your pink house in the papers?
Q: um well they thought my house was a Barbie house, but they investigated and it turned out it was a Ken house it had just been renovated by Barbie man this is hopeless! I want to start over
F: well you could have done research
JW: do you feel sorry for posh and becks?
Q: um no
JW: is your life anything like theirs?
Q: well you could say, I have a child named after the country in Italy in new, I mean what�s that
F: Brooklyn
Q: Yankville yeah, it�s called um,
JW: Mianus?
(Jobie watches too much Jackass yes)
Q: um, no, ok yeah that�s it
Everybody starts laughing for different reasons
Q: no what�s a country in
JW: a country in America?
Q: yeah
F: a country in America?? Hmmm
Q: ahh Utah!! Hey do you know what Utah is not near the ocean yet it�s state bird is the seagull
F: oh really, we went to beaver in Utah
Q: oh, hey Chicken Alaska sold (?) nah that sucks
JW: ah is your life anything like theirs, no I have asked that one haven�t I what do you think of new labor?
Q: new labor?
JW: yeah
Q: I�ve never heard of new labor, well I�ve heard about the young liberals,
JW: what after-shave do you wear?
Q: I don�t (sinister laugh)
JW: ewwww! Do you get hassled from your mum for staying up late and what is the latest you have stayed up?
Q: this is, a lot, of pressure um hassled from my mum? Well you see I used to have to go to bed at nine thirty and then we used to have to pretend that we couldn�t sleep and we were sick so we could watch the rest of the movie right? Yeah but the latest I have stayed up as what age?
JW: any age
Q: oh um I dunno three the next day
JW: hardcore
Q: three PM
JW: do you bunk off school?
Q: I never, (starts laughing like bunking off school is kinky) I never did any sexual activity at school
(Jobie starts laughing like a chipmunk would laugh)
JW: would you get back with Nick Mcabe if he asked?
Q: I hate Nick Cave! (Said with much conviction)
JW: Mcabe!
Q: what? I dunno who that is, aggh would I get back to him? If he forgives my runnings with the chemist I will, hey you are the chemist ha ha oh
JW: Ahh do you still do you still like lasagna after I delivered it all after all to your house all those times!
Q: I bet this is a question for one person, yeah no?
F: yeah
JW: and you�re that person right now
Q: oh wow fantastic, oh I have forgotten the question
JW: do you still like lasagna after I delivered it to your house all those times?
Q: oh um yes, I love anything with as many layers as that, sheets of white pastry
JW: (Jobie comes over all James like) sheets of whiteness ahoooooo ahoooo
Q: yeah between, ah ha yeah, meat between any two sheets can do me well
JW: right, got any dieting tips?
Q: dieting? The average age of a child to start dieting is eight in America um of females, um the dieting tips, oh um shit I dunno I quit butter
JW: oh that�s good what animal would you be if you could be any?
Q: ohh I like this one but I need time to think, umm ohh umm
(JW pauses recording)
JW: two hours later
(Jobie pauses again)
JW: four hours later
(Jobie pauses recording again)
JW: before I got the pension again
Q: umm a cat! Cause they are lazy and they get to sleep twenty four hours a day! They get fed and they go hey baby
JW: yeah that What do you think of the new Oasis album?
Q: I like the first three tracks, but I think the fourth one, you know about going off to Las Vegas and trying to marry up all these women, I thought that was really not part of their style you know, their heading into a weird genre there I think they are going back to Huey and the news thing which isn�t really, but apart from that I like it
JW: were you and Nick McCabe ever lovers?
Q: (starts choking) yes (keeps choking)
JW: who is your all time hero?
Q: um oh shit,
JW: oh shit all right
Q: um ah Floodsy, that�s some guy who�s a drummer in my brothers band
JW: what is the worst trouble you have been in?
Q: um I went to court on a weapons charge
JW: what can you cook?
Q: what can I cook? Anything you want baby! Ah wait ah, oh god theirs got to be something, anything hot and spicy
JW: do you rock hard?
Q: um when I have my rocking horse oh shit! Oh rock hard I rock hard like hanging tough, oh I dunno
JW: what song describes you best?
Q: um You are the wind beneath my wings
JW: thank you, what is your greatest talent?
Q: oh um dying, um my greatest talent, oh jumping shit
JW: what is your most treasured possession?
Q: um my cat, not that�s not a possession I don�t believe cats are owned by anyone heh heh they roam freely, um wait a minute treasured possession, shit
JW: shit again?
Q: um I don�t know this is my prequent answer, preguent? Ah my mind! Wait I have a better one my ankles, oh wait my jumping, muscle
Jobie laughs like a girlie: your thighs
Q: no I prefer jumping muscle
Jobie and Q laugh hysterically like girlies at the same time
JW: what would you do if you were invisible for the day?
Q: oh heh heh what, who wouldn�t I do? Um shit oh these are questions that are just like, what�s the end of the world? Ahh grrr Switzerland
Ohh would go I dunno I�d tease people, I�d be a ghost and haunt some kid, yeah I�d fuck someone up
JW: ok thank you
Q: is that it?
JW: yeah
Q: fuck! That was hopeless