Dinner for Twelve
A True Tale of Trial, Tragedy, and Turkey
It was early in the morning of that eventful Christmas day when Frances hastened over to the corner market and purchased a very large and very on-sale turkey. She had to get quite a large bird knowing that there were going to be a few extra mouths to feed this year. Besides her husband Jim and his sister Phyllis, she was going to be entertaining the university professor Dr. Wee Chong Tan and his class of eight foreign exchange students for Christmas dinner.  She lugged the shopping bag of turkey and cranberry jelly back to the house.
Several hours later, with Phyllis’s assistance, the turkey was roasting comfortably in the oven, the vegetables were cooking in the steamer, and a special dish Frances had never tried before, a cucumber wreath, was baking beside the turkey. She walked upstairs to put on her very best dress, worn only for special occasions.  
Once changed, Frances heard Jim call from the hall that the guests had arrived. She bustled down to the front door and welcomed Dr. Tan and his students, instructing Jim to lead them into the dining room 
Back in the kitchen, the two ladies made the final preparations. Phyllis took the veggies from the steamer and placed the multicolored pieces in a dish. Frances sipped a spoonful of smooth, rich, gravy from the bubbling pan. A can of cranberry jelly was emptied into twin glass bowls. Steam curled and rolled from the huge pot of mashed potatoes. Frances sniffed the air. It was full of the aroma of roasted turkey. Carefully she lifted the turkey roaster from the oven and set it down on the counter. Phyllis rushed up with two little paper crowns she had made and fixed them on the bird’s legs. They both stepped back to admire their work. Everything seemed so perfect.
Their trance was broken by the chatter of the guests from the other side of the door which opened onto the dining room. 
“They’re probably getting hungry,” Frances commented. She looked questioningly at the turkey swimming in its grease and remembered that it still had to be transported from the roasting pan onto its plate. She tilted up the pan to move it nearer. Then the unthinkable happened. Out slid the turkey accompanied by its grease which, after dousing her best dress, spread itself over the floor.
Phyllis just stared. 
“Get the turkey!” Frances exclaimed frantically, slamming the pan down with a clang. Phyllis pursued the renegade gobbler which was still spinning across the floor. Frances joined in the chase. The floor was slick with grease making their rescue mission almost impossible. They skidded after the turkey but it kept slipping out of reach and bouncing off the baseboards of the room. Phyllis finally fell down onto the floor and began to laugh hysterically. 
Jim poked his head through the doorway. “I think that we should eat now…”
“Get out!” Frances snapped.  
Jim looked first at his wife skating around the kitchen, then at his sister giggling on the linoleum, and lastly at the turkey twirling in the grease. He decided not to get involved and closed the door. 
It was quite a while later when they finally cornered and captured the prodigal poultry and plunked it onto its plate. Frances filled a bucket with hot, soapy water, even though she knew that it would take no less than Noah’s flood to purge the floor of its coating of grease. After handing a mop to Phyllis she hurried upstairs to change. Reluctantly, she pulled her second best dress off its hanger. 
Mustering their remaining dignity, the sisters-in-law finally entered the dining room with the food. Frances decided to ask Jim bring the turkey to the table. He had been entertaining the Dr. and his students by telling jokes and doing his famous trick of changing a handkerchief into a mouse. The students were quite impressed. 
At last dinner was served. Except for Dr. Tan, none of the guests spoke a word of English but they made numerous gestures of approval for the meal, especially for the turkey. As Frances ate, she felt that the dinner was turning out to be a success despite the prior catastrophe in the kitchen.
Suddenly, smoke entered the room and the fire alarm went off. They had forgotten all about the cucumber wreath. 
It was a long time before Frances dared serve another dinner for twelve.