Poems and Limericks
By Jonathan Williams

Dilemma at the Door
There once was a fat lady from Norway
Who once got stuck in a doorway.
Though they pulled and they pushed,
She was still squooshed, 
So they had to dig her out through the floor-way.

Misplaced Direction
There once was a foolish man that
Suddenly forgot where he was at.
Though he searched all day,
He couldn’t find his way
So he slept in a cave with a bat.

Domestic Incident
There once was a man and his wife
Who often fought with much strife.
They’d hit and they’d whack,
Till She injured His back
And was sorry the rest of her life.

You Are what You Eat
There once was a man from Malay
Who constantly dined on fresh hay.
Presuming of course
That he was a horse
He was put in a stable to stay

Lakeside Scene
There once was a man from Muldoon
Who was angry because of a loon
He shouted toward the lake,
“Be quite for goodness sake!
Or at least you could change your old tune.”

Farfetched Falsehood
There was a thin man from Niger
Who claimed he was swallowed a tiger.
But of course he had not
For that would be swallowing a lot,
So I guess you could call him a liar.

Ancient Politics
Caesar Agustus is quite disgustus
When it comes to Roman Justice

Australian Enigma
I wonder, wonder, wonder
Why in the land Down Under
Why the people there don’t walk upside-down

I asked a pedestrian
My plane and simple quest-i-on
And then he tried to throw me out of town

The Arachnid’s Fate
There once was a tarantula
Who got hit with a spatula.
Now he’s quite flatula