Withdrawn Decadence

There are no labels and n o   r e h a b i l i t a t i o n here - You are surrounded by the very fucking thoughts you \( fear.)/   I
watch the hope I had d i s i n t e g r a   t   e before my eyes, I take a minute and reflect on all your fucking l i e s. Behind
the door, you have two choices, but you don't get to choose. You can survive or you can d i e - e i t h e r   w a y   y o u   l o s e.

Remember all the times you bent our truth and crossed our lines? All things considered, it was just our normal way of life. But somewhere in the (middle), we got caught and d r a g g e d a w a y, so my tribunal brings us here so I can fall today. I stand before you as a v i c t i m, as the system r o t s, I couldn't f o c u s, so I st agg er e d when I heard t h e s h o t s.

Kyouki Leyve Doriel

There is a place where the sidewalk ends ||
And before the street   b e g i n s,
        And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the p e p p e r m i n t wind.
Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
                And the dark street w i n d s   a n d   b e n
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow         d
We shall w a l k with a walk                                        s.
     That is measured and slow,
               And watch where the chalk-white arrows ==> g o
To the place where the sidewalk ends. ||
Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
                          For the children, they mark,
And the children, t h e y   k n o w
The place where the sidewalk e n d s.

The culprit was a camping trip gone horribly wrong. The flags of warning were everywhere upon their arrival to the lush wilderness - signs and posters detailing wolf pack activity in the area, advisories stating ways in which to avoid attracting a wolf to a specific site. All advice was followed with care, and they set their camp by running water on one side to leave only a partial breadth exposed to the darker terrain of forest. All foodstuff was kept in an airtight bag and hung out of reach wthin a tree, the fire left in a full, crackling blaze in the midst of the three tents. Kyouki - sisteen - and her younger brother Doren - fourteen - in one, and a parent within each of the other. Kyouki fit her name well enough - she was a sweet, even-tempered and outgoing girl. Straight A marks in school, with a future wide open for whatever her little heart might have desired. She was the social butterfly of the campus, loved and desired by one and all.

It was the sound that woke her - a heavy concoction of slurps and crunching that stirred a blurred glance of brilliant peridot toward the entrance of the tent. She felt her brother stir slightly before settling once more, and she eyed him carefully as she inched silently toward the zipper, running it slowly along its teeth to allow her to peer outward into the cast light of a full moon, which illuminated the scene amidst the fire's low-hung crackling with ghastly, flickering illusions of shadow and light, burning the scene into her mind with perfect.. dark. contrast.

Their muzzles were stained with a heavy dark fluid that was black in the dim light, although its smears along the hushed white pelt of one massive wolf looked sanguine. They were far larger than they should have been, giants among their kind whose shoulder would have come to just beneath her breast. She could have ridden one of them had she the gall. They were huddled whereabout the two tents closest to the river had stood, and she realized now that they had been trampled and overturned, fabric ripped and scattered like the feathers of some wounded bird. One wolf, a massive black creature who looked spun of the night, glared up at her with vibrant eyes of gold from where he was crouched above their kill, snarls littering the darkness in response to the alpha's agitation. It was with a strange sort of detachment that she watched the auburn wolf to the male's right drop what it had previously been worrying at with powerful jowels - a neck. Her mother's head lolled sightlessly to one side, and Kyouki felt the stirring of a scream climbing her throat.

But her brother beat her to it. His younger voice, terrified and stricken by the traumatic tableau painted before them in death and blood, rose in a shriek with no end, over and over as quickly as he could draw breath. Lupine heads snapped toward them with a litany of snarling growls, and Ky could do nothing but smother his young frame against her own, whispering urgently for silence he still refused her. The massive black had abandonned his post over her still mother's frame, and she watched with wide, horrified eyes of brilliant, glassy peridot as the other small group dispersed at his snarling from the second circle. She could only see the flopping foot clad in timberland booting, but she knew it to be her father. And still the black wolf approached.

Something struck her from behind, toppling the full of the tent and spilling she and her brother forward. Her own cry crawled upward, cut short only for the snarling muzzle that lowered into periphery sights, trailing her sobs off into a whimper as she curled more closely to the earth beneath, fingers knotted in the lightweight shirt her brother wore as she stooped over him. Protect. The upward glare of her eyes was filled with a warning she could never carry through, and stranger still.. she felt they were laughing at her. Glowering into the brilliant saffron eyes of the dark male, she saw an intelligence that should never have been there. A self-awareness that no wild animal possessed. It scared her. And he saw that fear.. she knew, somehow, that he could smell it. And it excited him. She could feel it like a shock wave that moved through them, alerting them to the weakling in their midst like a scent of blood in the water to a school of circling sharks.

It happened in the blink of an eye. He turned half a glance toward the blond wolf at his side, and she was suddenly being tackled by the younger male. Not injured, but she heard fabric tear as she was torn away from her brother. His scream was highpitched and panicked, but it was cut off, draining away into a low, shuddering gurgle that drew tears to her eyes. Fists connected in time with one another, squarely to the side of the blond one's muzzle. He yelped, and Kyouki stumbled to her feet filled with a fury that was only earned during the last flare of a dying star. Desperation like no other filled her veins, and she backed a step up as she found the blond had regained his footing. he crouched, ebony lips pealing away from fangs that gleamed menacingly in the moonlight. She braced herself, taking a shaky breath. She would not scream.

In a blur of motion, something lithe and black barrelled into the younger male, sending both toppling over. The russet female made an equally threatening pass for Kyouki, only to be likewise overturned by the massive male. Snarls rose in protest, fangs flashing only to culminate with a low yelp and a submissive tuck of tail as the female backed away. Kyouki's breathing was ragged as the black finally turned toward her, gaze flickering over the remnants of three human forms littering the clearing like broken dolls. When they returned to her, it seemed to her there was a sorrow there as he approached. Please don't.. she couldn't think to run, only standing frozen with stance slightly splayed, like a doe about to bolt.. only having made the mistake of looking in the predator's eyes. She stood transfixed as he drew near, close enough for her to see the spikes of orange radiating in the pupil, to feel the warmth of his breath on her skin.

She whimpered as his fangs, in a quick motion to fast to see (impossibly fast, even for a wolf), slashed across her arm, drawing blood in the wake of two long, deep runnels. He did the same to the opposite side, only then applying his tongue to the seeping sanguine fluid. Shaking her head as a wave of dizziness came over her, she allowed the darkness of the faint to pull her under.

Kyouki would never know why the wolf marked her that night, willing her toward the change. A month later she met the full moon in a cloak of dark black fur with a blaze of white at her throat, her back tinged by violet and navy like the flex of a raven's wing. But she would never forget the pain of that first encounter, the awe mingling with pain as she watched all that transpired beneath the moon's ghastly glow. And she was a freak - still smiling and seductive, but coy and withdrawn.. and she yearned for pain. Longed for the blood to run, the twist that came when pleasure bent with agony, like good sex or a thrill ride. The fear and pain gave an edge to the act that she came to long for. Perhaps it would be her end eventually.. the search for that final thrill. Who knew.

Kyouki - "kai-yu'-kee": Japanese - fickle spirit, dangerous weapon, madness, ecstasy