This is the complete text file of the sequel to my earlier fanfic,  Crossed
Wires. Thanks go to David Johnston and Kaneda Saotome for
prereading.  Any and all comments are welcome.

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or any of the ideas associated with
it.  Rumiko Takihashi and Shogakukan, Inc do.  Rights in North belong to
Viz Communications.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1: I Feel Like a New Person

  Monday morning, Ranma and Akane were walking to school side by side,
with Ryoga trailing slightly behind.

     "Will you stop moping, Ranma?  You should be happy that you can go
to school as a guy again," Akane's voice was acquiring an edge of
irritation.

     "I am happy.  I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to explain
things to everyone at school."

     "I don't think you need to worry about that.  Nabiki left for
school early today,"  Ryoga interjected.

     "Great.  That's just what-"  A wave of cool water inundated Ranma,
cutting off his complaint.

     "Fear not, my beloved Ranma.  I shall liberate you."  Ever since
Ukyo had told him of Ranma's curse, Kuno had struggled to find a way to
confirm his interpretation of it.  He finally had his chance.

     Ranma was just about to beat the tall kendoist into
unconsciousness, when two things occurred to her.  "You used my name.
And you splashed me with cold water.  Who are you and what have you done
with the real Kuno?"

     "I am unchanged, save that mine eyes are no longer deceived by the
enchantment which hides your true visage."

     "What are you talking about?  I'm a guy."  Ranma was starting to
realized where Kuno's strange behavior was leading and she didn't like
it.

     Kuno drew his bokken and pointed it at Ryoga.  "Sorcerer, I
challenge you.  Should I win, you will free Ranma from her curse."

     "Oh no you don't," Ranma said, seeing that Ryoga was preparing to
fight.

     "Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!"  After Kuno fell to the ground
unconscious, Ranma turned on Ryoga.  "I don't need anyone fighting my
battles for me."

    "It's just Kuno.  You could have beaten him up later."

=====================

      Later that day, Ranma was smiling as he prepared to leave school.
No one had commented on him changing back after he arrived at school and
no one had asked any embarrassing questions.  It seemed as if the whole
school was ready to forget the last couple of weeks had happened.  That
was fine as far as he was concerned.

      "Ranma, wait up."

      "Sure, Ak- Sayuri."  Ranma was faintly surprised.  He got along
well enough with most of Akane's friends, but he seldom talked to any of
them either.  "What do you want?"

      "I just wanted to ask you if it's true that you were just
pretending to be a girl because of your mother ."

      Ranma gaped dumbfounded for a moment and then his mind made a
connection.  "Nabiki told you that?"

      "Not in so many words.  She mentioned the promise your father made
and that your mother had just found out about the curse."

     Ranma was beyond surprised.  Usually, Nabiki could get him into
trouble even telling the truth.  "You're right.  Now that she's found
out
I don't have to worry anymore "

     "So, this means that Ryoga isn't seeing anyone."

     "Well, no.  I thought you were going with Hiroshi though."

     A blush colored Sayuri's cheeks.  "I am.  It was some of the other
girls that wanted to know.  Um, I really should be going now."

     When Sayuri turned to go, Ranma sighed in relief.  "Hmm.  That went
better than I thought it would."

====================

     With the situation at school stable, if nothing else, Ranma decided
to take care of some other business.  Namely, investigating the
relationship between Ukyo and Shampoo.  Somehow, despite all the
evidence he had a feeling that things weren't quite as they seemed.  For
that reason, among others, the greeting he received when he entered
Ucchan's surprised him.

     "Welcome to Ucchan's Okonomiyaki shop.  Can Shampoo help you?"

     "Shampoo, what are you doing here?"

     "Shampoo work here now.  Nekohanten closed while Great-grandmother
in China."

     "The old ghoul's in China?  I suppose it doesn't matter.  I'm here
to talk to Ukyo anyway."

     Shampoo's face twisted as if she'd tasted something sour.  However
she quickly  recovered her composure.  "Of course, airen can talk to
other airen.  Shampoo not mind at all."

     "Hey, that's great, Shampoo."  Ranma brushed past the amazon
oblivious to the look that she directed at his back.

     Ranma strolled up to the counter and greeted the chef behind it.
"How are you doing, Ucchan?"

     "Just fine, Ranchan.  Why do you ask?"

     "I couldn't help noticing that you and Shampoo have been getting
along better lately.  You've been doing a lot of things together."

     "I don't know about that."  This line of question was starting to
make Ukyo nervous.  It was something she preferred not to think about,
let alone discuss.  She decided to get it over with quickly.  "The whole
engagement thing is one of those crazy laws.  I have no intention of
going through with it."

     "Really?  That's sort of a surprise."

     "Well, if you're interested, I could at least consider it."

     "No!  I mean, I just thought that Shampoo would be your type."

     Ukyo's fists clenched and she leaned towards Ranma.  "I am not a
lesbian."  Ukyo's voice was low, but it had acquired a dangerous
flatness.

      "You seemed to enjoy that kiss a lot," Ranma said dubiously.

      "I don't care whether you're a boy or a girl.  I still feel the
same way about you."
      Ranma considered this for a moment.  "So, you're saying that
you're bi?" he guessed.

      "I give up."

      Ranma waited for a moment, but when Ukyo's only further response
was to rest her head on the counter he got up and left.

      As he prepared to exit, Ranma noticed that Shampoo had hung the
closed sign in the window.  "Isn't it a bit early to be shutting down?"

     "Shampoo and Ukyo go to new Italian place for supper."

     "You mean Mario's?"

     "Yes, that name."

     "Um, that's nice."  Ranma left without further comment.

====================

     "Shampoo and Ukyo are going on a date?"  Ryoga's voice was just
short of outright disbelief.  "I didn't think that Shampoo was like
that."

     "Ukyo says that there isn't anything between them, but I want to
find out for sure."

     "So what are you going to do, follow them around all night?"

     "Yes.  We'll need disguises first though."

     "What do you mean we?  There's no way I'm getting involved in
another of
your crazy plans."

     "Nothings going to go wrong this time.  Besides, don't you want to
find out what's happening?"

     "Not that badly.  There's nothing you can say to convince me."
Ryoga crossed his arms defiantly, resolve shining clearly on his face."

     "Well if that's the way you feel there's nothing I can do about
it."  Ranma's shoulders slumped in mock dejection.  "I guess I'll just
have to ask Akane."

====================

      "So, what do you think?"

      Ranma examined Ryoga closely.  His usually unruly hair had been
neatly combed and gel applied to hold it in place.  A similar change had
taken place with his clothing , Ryoga was wearing a white shirt and
black dress pants.  He'd even surrendered his bandanas with minimal
resistance.

      "Not bad.  You just need one more thing.  Here, put these on."

      "Sunglasses?"  Ryoga took the offered item dubiously.  "I feel
silly."

      "You look fine.  Now to complete my disguise."

      As usual, Ranma's disguise consisted of cold water and feminine
attire, in this case a short black dress.  As far as she was concerned,
the addition of a brown wig made her disguise foolproof.

     "Well, how do I look, Ryoga?"

     "Great."  Realizing what he'd said, Ryoga continued hastily, "But I
don't think we'll fool anyone."

     "Don't worry.  I always managed to fool you, right?"

     Ryoga looked unconvinced, but there wasn't really anyway that he
could argue with that.  "Okay.  Let's get this over with."

===================

     "Ranma, I think that you and Kasumi should go out for supper
tonight," Nodoka called up the stairs.  She certainly didn't mind that
several girls were chasing her son, but she did have preferences.  What
Ranma needed was a nice, traditional girl.

     "Sorry, Mom.  I've already made plans for tonight."

     Nodoka blinked as her child descended the stairs, with Ryoga by her
side.  "If you say so, dear," she said, weakly.  This business of having
both a son and a daughter was going to take more getting used to than
she'd thought.  "Be sure to bring her back home early, Ryoga."

     The lost boy's expression was torn between horror and amusement,
but he managed to reply.  "Don't worry.  Nothing's going to happen
tonight."

====================

     "This place looks familiar."  Ryoga searched his mind trying to
remember when he'd seen the building before, and what he'd been doing.
As was so often the case, he didn't have much luck.

    "We've eaten here before.  Now be quiet.  Ukyo and Shampoo are just
a couple of tables over.  I want to try to hear what they're saying"

    Ukyo looked up from the menu she was holding, despair on her face.
"I don't believe this.  They've got great atmosphere, service and
prices.  No wonder I'm losing business to them."

     "Shampoo think maybe they have accident and have to close."

     Ukyo struggled with temptation for a moment, but finally shook her
head.  "I couldn't do anything like that."

     "You no have to.  Look to left."

     Ukyo glanced over and then quickly performed a double take.
"That's Ranma and Ryoga, isn't it?" she hissed.  When Shampoo nodded, a
speculative look crossed Ukyo's face.  "I wonder what they're doing
here.  Ranma does look pretty good in that dress though."

     "Shampoo should have made antidote stronger."

     Ukyo and Shampoo weren't the only people who were surprised by the
clientele that night.

     "Hiroshi, isn't that Ukyo and Shampoo over there?"  Sayuri asked
her date.  "And isn't that Ryoga and Ranma beside them?"

     Hiroshi briefly stopped worrying about the prices on the menu to
look around.  "I think you're right."  When he realized what that meant,
he frowned.  "Maybe we should leave now."

     "Hiroshi, we aren't in any danger.  None of them even know we're
here.  Besides, I want to see what happens."

     "I want to see what happens too.  From a safe distance that is."
Seeing that Sayuri had no intention of leaving, Hiroshi sank back into
his seat.  "I just hope we don't regret this."

     "Now that I've thought things over, you're probably right."  Sayuri
casually gestured towards the latest person to enter the restaurant.

     "Ranma,  this time I will have my revenge."  Many patrons of the
restaurant were barely able to stifle their laughter when they saw the
diminutive figure that made the threat.  Even standing on one of the
tables, he didn't reach five feet in height.  More experienced residents
of Nerima, those that recognized Happosai, began filing out of the
dining establishment.

     Ranma wasn't one of them.  She faced Happosai with a confident
sneer.  "What're you gonna do, letch?"

     "Hotcha!"  Without seeming to pass through the space between them,
Happosai was suddenly attached to Ranma's chest.

     "Leggo of me, you freak!"  Prying Happosai loose, Ranma smashed him
into the wall.

     "Too late, Ranma!  I've finally achieved my greatest ambition."

     "What are you- oh."  Ranma noticed the pair of objects that
Happosai was holding and realized what he'd done.

     "Pervert! Give me back my underwear."  Ranma was red faced with
rage and embarrassment, as Ryoga along with Ukyo and Shampoo stepped
forward to join her in confronting Happosai.

     "You're going to gang up on a poor old man who only wants to enjoy
his few remaining years?  Then it's lucky I brought this."  Happosai
produced a crude sculpture formed of black rock and consisting of two
vaguely humanoid figures standing back to back.

      Upon seeing the sculpture, Shampoo swiftly dove to one side, while
the other three chose to charge Happosai.

      "Anything Goes Secret Technique: Ghostly Spirit Switch!"

      At Happosai's words a cloud of pink smoke shot through with
streaks of purple poured out of the statue and enveloped the martial
artists charging him.  When the cloud dissipated he saw the three lying
unconscious on the floor.

      "What a piece of junk.  It was supposed to switch Ranma and I."
The elderly pervert angrily tossed the figurine to the floor.
Happosai's mood changed for the better when he saw one of the figures
stagger to its feet.  "Come to Happi, darling."

      Ryoga had been as disoriented as either of the others by
Happosai's magical assault.  The main difference was that he was used to
disorientation.  Still, he was shocked to discover two things.  First,
he now had breasts.  Secondly, Happosai was groping them.  Ryoga's
reaction was both understandable and extreme.

      "Perfect Shi Shi Hokodan!"  A brilliant green column of energy
enveloped Ryoga and erupted upwards, through the roof of the
restaurant.  The fifteen meter ball of heavy ki that crashed back to
earth seconds later leveled most of the building along with Happosai.
Ryoga remained standing for a second afterwards, but then collapsed from
shock and fatigue.

     There was only one remaining observer.  "Shampoo really wish
Great-grandmother here."

=====================

     Ranma fought to open his eyes.  Not only was there something
subtly different about his body, it felt like a small mountain had
fallen on him.

     "Ryoga, are you all right?"

     "Not Ryoga.  I'm Ranma," he mumbled.

     "Oh dear.  It looks like Shampoo was right."

     Disturbed, Ranma opened his eyes to see Kasumi looking down at
him.  "What do you mean?"

     "Shampoo carried the three of you here.  She said that Happosai had
used some sort of ancient amazon artifact on you."

     Genma leaned into Ranma's field of view.  "According to her, Ryoga
is in Ukyo's body.  He's not awake yet, but he used a Perfect Shi Shi
Hokodan before he passed out."

      Ranma puzzled over things and reached a tentative conclusion.
"You're saying that Happosai somehow switched our bodies so that I'm in
Ryoga's, Ryoga's in Ukyo's and-"

      "Agh!  What am I wearing?"  The almost hysterical shriek
overwhelmed Ranma's words momentarily.
      "-Ukyo must be in mine."

      It should be noted that the dress Ranma had been wearing was one
of Nabiki's selections.  As a result it had been intended to embarrass
Ranma and was far shorter, tighter and lower cut than anything Ukyo had
worn in recent memory

     "I can explain, Ucchan."

     "I heard.  I have trouble believing it, but I heard.  Is it just
me or is it drafty in here?"

     "Oh, that.  Happosai sort of-"

     "I'm going to go change."

===================

     Ukyo was looking through Ranma's clothes and not liking what she
found.  She'd expected several nearly identical Chinese outfits and
she'd found them.  However, she knew that Ranma had some girl's clothes
and she'd been hoping she could wear some of them.  There were two
things that surprised her.  Over two thirds of Ranma's dresser and
closet seemed to be devoted to female attire.  More shocking was the
type of clothes, tight jeans, mini-skirts, very short shorts and shirts
that Ukyo was sure she could see through.  There were a couple of
dresses that looked more Akane's style, but what she already had on
seemed to be one of the more conservative outfits.  The less said about
the lingerie the better.

     After searching for several minutes, Ukyo finally found the sort of
clothing she'd envisioned, a set of Ranma's Chinese clothes that were
sized to fit a girl.  Ukyo set aside her questions about the other
clothes and quickly changed.

===================

     When Ukyo descended the stairs, she noted that the Tendo and
Saotome families, along with Ryoga and Shampoo were apparently waiting
for her.

     "Ah good.  Have a seat, Ukyo.  Shampoo was just about to explain
what happened."  The Tendo patriarch seemed to be taking maters in
stride.  He'd probably gotten things out of his system early.

     As she sat, Ukyo examined the others in the room.  The only person
who really seemed to be affected was Ryoga.  It was even easy to
overlook the fact that Ranma literally wasn't himself.  Except for
facial features and a slightly heavier build he hadn't changed much.  In
contrast, Ryoga radiated such a palpable air of depression that it
seemed
to darken the corner of the room she was sitting in.  It might have been
Ukyo's imagination, but she hoped she hadn't looked that haggard to
other people.

     "So what do you have to say, Shampoo?"

    "Happosai use ancient treasure of Amazon people.  Called Token of
Ages."  Shampoo gently set the strange double statue on the floor in
front her.

    "If you have it, then you should be able to fix things."

    "You'd think so, wouldn't you?"  Ukyo had to hold back a shudder.
Hearing someone else speak in her voice was bad enough without the air
of sadness Ryoga seemed to infuse it with.

     "Shampoo already try, but not know how.  Nothing happen.
Great-grandmother fix when she get back."

     "The old ghoul will already know that Happosai stole it, so she
should be back soon.  I say we don't tell anyone about this."

     "Sounds good to me, Ranchan.  Say Ryoga, is anything wrong?  You
seem awfully depressed.  Even considering the change."

     "I'm just tired.  Usually I don't pass out after a ki blast.  It's
probably because your body doesn't have the conditioning mine does."

     "There's nothing wrong with my body, you jackass!"

     "I'm sure he didn't mean it that way.  Everyone's just a bit tired
and on edge.  I think we'll all feel better in the morning," Nodoka
said.

     Ukyo shrugged.  There was nothing wrong with her, but Ryoga
probably was under a lot of pressure.  "I suppose so."

     "Good.  I think you should stay here tonight.  Shampoo wants to see
if Cologne's books have any information about this, but you are in my
daughter's er son's body."

     "I'd be happy to stay, Mrs. Saotome.  What about Ryoga though?  He
has my body."

     "I suppose you should get some of your clothes.  I don't think he's
ready to dress like a girl."

    Ukyo looked at the ex-lost boy who was too busy brooding to pay
attention.  "You're probably right."

     After that the conversation turned towards sleeping arrangement.
Shampoo had left for the Nekohanten and Genma had dragged Ranma out to
the dojo to see how a new body affected his skill.  Ukyo was pushing to
stay in the same room as Ranma, but it didn't look like that was going
to happen.  Nabiki had spent the evening lost in her own thoughts.
There had to be a way to make a profit out of this situation.  If
nothing else, she could finally get those pictures of Ukyo that Kuno
wanted.

End Chapter 1

Chapter two of Mixed Signals has arrived.  Characters will be referred
to by their own names, not that of the body they're inhabiting.  The
exception to this is spoken dialogue.  In that case usage will vary as
appropriate. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2: Walking a Mile...

     Kasumi looked around the kitchen and noticed some unexpected
absences.  "Akane, why don't you go get Ryoga and Ranma?  If they don't
come soon they'll miss breakfast."

     Before Akane could answer, Ukyo rose to her feet.  "I'll find
them."

     "We'll check where they were sleeping first."

     "Makes sense.  Ryoga was in Ranma's room and Ranma was sleeping
with his dad, right?"

     "Right."

     The two girls decided to check on Ryoga first.  After Ukyo knocked
on the door without receiving an answer, she eased it open.  "I know
that Ryoga's shy, but this is a bit much."   Ryoga had apparently been
trying to change into a set of clean clothes, but she hadn't gotten far
before passing out.  The remains of a nosebleed were drying upon her
face.

     "Maybe you should handle this, Ukyo.  I'll find Ranma."

     "I suppose so.  Ryoga is in my body, after all."

     As Akane searched for Ranma, her frustration quickly mounted.
She'd started looking in the room he'd shared with his father the night
before and continued from there.  The only room left now was her own.
Akane angrily yanked open the door and peered around inside.  Seeing
nothing, she was just about to close the door when she heard a thud
from inside the closet.  Realizing what had happened, Akane suppressed a
sigh and walked over to open the closet door.

     "Akane, what are you doing here?"  The combination of irritation
and bewilderment that Ranma was displaying looked perfectly at home on
Ryoga's face.

     "You're in my closet, Ranma."

     "No way.  If I was in your closet there'd be dresses and ... oh."
Ranma's voice trailed off as he caught sight of his surroundings.  "I
guess I am in your closet.  I wonder why."

     "You got lost."  Akane reached into the closet and grabbed hold of
Ranma's ear.  "Now come on out of there."

     "I did not get lost.  Hey!  Let go of my ear."  Ranma's protests
went unheeded as Akane pulled him out of the room.

     "Not until we get to the kitchen.  If I let go now you'll just get
lost again."

===================

     A short time later, the four departed for school.  Ukyo had agreed
to attend school as a boy after only token protests.

     "All right, everyone.  Remember that we aren't telling anyone what
happened.  That means you've got to remember how to act and to use the
right names."

     "Sure thing, Ryochan."

     Ranma shot a panicked look at Ukyo.  "No!  Just treat me the way
that I treat Ryoga."

     "If I was going to do that, I'd need some cold water first."

     Ranma ignored the sudden fit of coughing that overcame Akane.
"Very funny.  I meant treat me the way I treat Ryoga when I'm not
pretending to be a girl."

     "Ranma's right, you've got to remember to call him P-chan," Ryoga
advised.

     "Maybe you two don't take this seriously, but I do.  I don't want
people to start thinking I'm weird."

     "What do you mean, start?"  Akane ignore the glare Ranma directed
at her.  "Don't worry, Ranma.  Ukyo knows how to behave."

===================

     At lunch time, Ryoga sat brooding under a tree.  Neither of the
others understood his situation.  Ranma was still a guy, and Ukyo's
situation hadn't really changed either.  She was still a girl who
dressed like a guy at school.  If pressed, Ryoga would admit there were
compensations.  Having a sense of direction and not turning into a pig
came to mind.  She'd never really been one to look at the bright side
though.  At least there wasn't much else that could go wrong.

     "Foul miscreant, you will pay for your misdeeds.  I shall liberate
the fair Ukyo from your clutches."  The resolute figure of Tatewaki Kuno
gazed down upon the form before him.  This time no one would interfere
in his vengeance.

     Ryoga rolled to her feet and took up a ready stance.  Beating up on
Kuno was always a good way to relieve stress.  Something was strange ,
usually Kuno said something about Ranma or Akane.  There was something
else though.  "Hey!  I am Ukyo."

     "I speak of the other Ukyo.  A most graceful and noble maiden, whom
you hold in bondage."

     Oh.  It was just Kuno being delusional again.  "Any time you're
ready, Kuno."

     Kuno wasted little time, rushing forward and aiming a mighty slash
at Ryoga's head.  Ryoga ducked, landing a punch on Kuno's midsection,
even as the tree behind her was bisected.  Ryoga's eyes widened in
surprise as Kuno ignored the blow, and scored a glancing hit that numbed
her left arm.

     Ryoga tried to close with Kuno again, but hampered by an unfamiliar
body was too slow.  She already regretted leaving Ukyo's combat spatula
beside the tree.  A weapon would have been very useful.  As Ryoga dodged
one particularly close slash, she noticed a weakening in Kuno's
defense.  Swiftly taking advantage, she kicked the bokken out of Kuno's
hands and followed up with a series of strikes to his vital spots.

     When Kuno fell to the ground, Ryoga's lips twitched upwards in a
smile.  That smile faded when she felt the cool breeze on her chest.
Closer inspection revealed that Kuno had sliced through both the front
of her uniform and the binding beneath it. Blushing a bright red, Ryoga
went of in search of materials to make repairs.

=================

     Ranma covertly glanced at Ukyo as he ate.  There was just something
wrong about someone else, especially a girl inhabiting his body.  The
truly annoying part was that Ranma had been watching all morning and he
wasn't sure if he could tell the difference. Not that he wanted anyone
to notice something of course.

     "Shampoo bring too-too delicious ramen for Ranma."

     Ranma was abruptly jerked from his reverie to watch the bouncy
amazon approach him... and move past him towards Ukyo.

     "T-This really isn't necessary, Shampoo.  Kasumi made me an
excellent lunch," Ukyo stammered.

     "Shampoo enjoy cooking for airen.  Is no trouble."  As Shampoo
spoke she ran her hand along Ukyo's arm.  Ukyo twitched slightly and
almost jerked away.

     "What are you doing, Shampoo?" Ranma asked, rising to his feet.

     "Shampoo bring food for one of her airens.  Think maybe you keep
thing quiet."

     Akane had been both angered and confused by Shampoo's appearance,
her traditional target uninvolved, but now she was on firmer ground.
"What's the matter, Ryoga, jealous?"

     "No I'm not!  Who would I be jealous of, Akane."

     "Then why don't you sit down and eat?  Those two can take care of
themselves."

     Ranma did so with poorly masked displeasure.  He tried to avoid
looking, but his eyes were drawn towards the sight of Shampoo trying to
feed Ukyo what should have been his ramen.  As with Ranma's earlier
behavior, this did not go unnoticed.

===================

     "I'm going to go over to the Nekohanten and see if Shampoo's come
up with anything."

     "Are you sure that's wise?  We don't want you getting lost."
Nodoka was understandably concerned.  After not seeing her son for close
to ten years, the idea him wandering aimlessly across Japan was a
familiar worry.

     "Don't worry, Mom.  As long as I concentrate I won't get lost."

     After reassuring his mother several more time Ranma set off.  What
he'd said was true.  After considerable practice he'd discovered that as
long as he visualized each step of his trip clearly he could do it.
True, this  was slightly more ambitious than finding the kitchen, but
the principle was the same.

     Unfortunately, Ranma was so busy concentrating that he didn't
notice the sprinklers se up on the lawn ahead of him.  Naturally, they
activated as passed by, transforming him into a small black pig.  Even
more unfortunately, this broke his concentration.

     "Bwee."  Ranma was beginning to think that this would be a very bad
day.  A terrifying battle cry soon confirmed that view.

     "Charlotte!  Come to little Azusa."

     Ranma didn't waste any time.  When he caught sight of the roller
blader bearing down on him, he took off at a speed that would shame an
olympic sprinter.

====================

     Akane jumped over a leg sweep and countered with a flying kick that
her opponent barely blocked.  When Ryoga had first proposed a full
contact training session she'd been nervous.  She'd done surprisingly
well though.  In Ukyo's body Ryoga didn't have the overwhelming
advantage in strength that he usually enjoyed.  The unfamiliar balance
also offset much of Ryoga's skill.  She was learning fast though.

     Ryoga retreated as Akane intensified her attack.  She blocked a
series of punches to the midsection and then dodged a side kick.  Before
Akane could recover, Ryoga grabbed hold of her leg and twisted, sending
Akane to the floor.

     "I think that's enough, Ryoga.  We've been training for almost an
hour now."  Akane was breathing heavily, as was Ryoga herself.

     "I think I'll keep going for a while.  It keeps my mind of things
at least."  As Akane left the dojo, Ryoga considered her options.
Strength training would probably be the best place to start.  Maybe she
could work her way up to the breaking point training.

===================

     "Where is Ranma?  It isn't like him to miss supper."

     "I don't know, Kasumi.  He left by himself this afternoon and I'm
afraid he's gotten lost.  My son can look after himself though."  It
sounded as if Nodoka was trying to reassure herself at least as much as
Kasumi.

     "He'd better be able to.  If anything happens to him, I can't get
my body back."  Ryoga's complaint didn't seem to have any force behind
it.  After all, being lost was a natural condition for the Hibikis and
Ranma was a superb martial artist.

     "Speaking of bodies, what have you been doing to mine?"  Ukyo
gestured to indicate Ryoga's bruised and battered appearance.

     "Just a little training."

     "A little training?  You look like you've been run over by a
truck."

     "You know, that might make a good training technique.  Thanks for
the idea, Ukyo."

     After deciding that Ryoga was serious, Ukyo glared angrily at her.
"If you think I'm going to let you..."  The rest of Ukyo's statement was
interrupted by a slight scratching noise at the front door.  When Kasumi
opened the door, a small piglet entered the room.

     "P-chan!" Akane cried excitedly.  "Come here, baby."

     The little pig nervously approached Akane and allowed her to scoop
it up.  "You know, I don't think you've ever met P-chan before, Ryoga."

     "Heh-heh-heh.  You're right, that is a bit strange."  Ryoga
extended one hand towards Ranma's cursed form and was rewarded with a
snap that barely missed her fingers.

     "Oh, I'm sorry, Ryoga.  P-chan usually only behaves that way with
Ranma."

     "It's not important, Akane.  You don't have to apologize"  Ryoga
was actually enjoying things for the first time since the body switch.
The feud with Ranma might have been over, but, he deserved to know what
Ryoga had gone through.

==================

     "I can't believe that Ranma would do something like this."  Ryoga
calmed herself with a visible effort.  After waiting to see if anyone
had heard, she continued her rant in a softer voice.  "I'm not going to
let him get away with this."

     Ryoga frowned, Akane had been unusually watchful with P-chan that
evening, but Ranma still could have gotten away.  Well, no matter what
the pervert had planned, Ryoga wasn't going to let him sleep in the same
bed as Akane.  Just as soon as Akane was asleep, Ranma would get a
lesson he wouldn't forget.

===================

     Ranma was in hell.  Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but since
he was also Ryoga it seemed strangely appropriate to think that.
Somehow, he'd always had the idea that Ryoga enjoyed sleeping in Akane's
bed as P-chan.  He knew better now.  The tossing and turning as Akane
had drifted off to sleep had been bad enough, pummeling his small body
with bruising force.  What followed was far worse.  Akane had quieted,
but only after catching Ranma in a grip that seemed powerful enough to
crush rocks.

     Ranma's porcine ears twitched as the door to Akane' room silently
opened.  As a ghostly figure stepped over the sleeping form of Ukyo,
Ranma realized that Ryoga must be trying to rescue him.   As Ryoga
stopped beside the bed, Ranma could barely make out her features.  Ryoga
produced a feather and began to lightly tickle Akane under her nose.
The tension paralyzed Ranma, but Akane reached up to scratch her nose
without waking.  As soon as she did so, Ryoga grabbed the bandanna
around Ranma's neck and lifted him clear.

     Grinning in triumph, Ryoga turned ... and tripped over Ukyo.  Arms
wind milling, Ryoga overcompensated and fell backwards onto Akane's bed.

     Akane woke suddenly, as a heavy body pressed her into the
mattress.  Needless to say, she reacted with well honed instincts.
"Pervert!  Die!"  As the dimly seen figure scramble off of her, Akane
grabbed a nearby dumbbell and began to bludgeon it.

     She stopped abruptly, as Ukyo switched on the lights and revealed
the intruder.  "Ryoga, what are you doing here?"

     Ryoga hesitated, waiting for the room to stop spinning.  "I, um,
wanted to talk to you about something."

     "Really?  What was it?"

     Ryoga searched her mind desperately and failed to come up with a
plausible answer.  "I don't think that this is really a good time."

     "I suppose not.  I'm sorry for attacking you.  I'm just used to
Ranma and Happosai."

     "You don't have to apologize.  It was my fault."  Ryoga backed
nervously out of the room, Ranma following unnoticed.

     After Ryoga left, Ukyo stared at Akane in disbelief.  "You're just
going to let him go, like that?"

     "Why not?  What did you think I would do?"

====================

     After Ryoga left Akane's room, she felt something bump against her
leg.  Looking down, Ryoga saw the familiar form of P-chan.  Picking
Ranma up by the bandanna once more,  and walked back into her room.

     "All right, Ranma.  It's time for us to talk."  Ryoga picked up a
kettle of water she'd heated earlier.  Pouring it, she watched Ranma's
body twist and expand.

     "Thanks.  I don't think I could have taken that much longer," Ranma
said gratefully.

     "Taken what?"

     "Akane.  Man, I thought she was a tomboy when she was awake, but
she's even more unfeminine asleep."

     Ryoga reddened with anger.  "How dare you say that!  Akane is a
delicate flower when she's asleep."

     "And she's a good cook too, huh?"

     "Yes."

     Ranma was smiling now.  "So then, you wouldn't mind if she cooked
you breakfast."

    "No!"  Ryoga calmed herself and continued, "I mean, of course I
wouldn't mind.  I just don't think she should have to trouble herself."
Ryoga felt her anger diminishing.  Maybe it hadn't been completely
Ranma's fault.

     "There is one thing, Ryoga.  Could you get me some clothes?  I know
it's nothing that you haven't seen before, but it still feels weird."

    "How do you think it makes me feel?"  Ryoga went over to the closet
and selecting a set of Ranma's Chinese clothing tossed them to him.

     "The same way I feel when I see Ukyo now."

====================

     "What was all the shouting I heard last night about, Akane?"
Nabiki wasn't really interested in the answer.  She was sure that it had
something to do with Ranma's reappearance.

     "Nothing much.  Ryoga just wanted to talk to me and he tripped over
Ukyo.  I'm afraid that I overreacted."

     "Overreacted?  You never feel that way when it's Ranma."

     "That's different.  Ryoga isn't a pervert like Ranma."

     "What are you talking about?  Ryoga is just as much a pervert as I
am."  After Ranma spoke he considered his words.  That wasn't exactly
what he'd meant to say.

     "So you admit you're a pervert.  And stop trying to get Ryoga into
trouble."  Akane glared at Ranma suspiciously.  There was something
strange about the way that he'd reappeared so suddenly.

     Nodoka decided it was time to intervene.  "Under normal
circumstances I'd agree with Akane that there was nothing wrong with
Ryoga's behavior.  It really is very manly. I'll have to explain to her
that it isn't appropriate as long as she's a girl though.  Do you know
where she is."

     Stunned silence descended on the breakfast table, until Ranma
answered.  "Ryoga finished eating early. I think he's in the dojo
training, Mom."

     After Nodoka left, Nabiki finally spoke, "That was strange."

    "Yes, Auntie Saotome has some very strange ideas about proper
behavior."  After speaking, Kasumi continued eating unconcerned by
events.

     Ranma was so engrossed in considering his mother's behavior that he
missed a new arrival.

     "Shampoo say hello Ranma.  You not listening?"

     "Sorry Shampoo.  I didn't hear you come in."  After his perfunctory
apology, Ranma continued on to more important matters.  "Have you
figured out how to use that statue?" he asked eagerly.

     "No.  Shampoo come to spend time with airens."  Producing a kettle
seemingly from nowhere, Shampoo poured hot water over a surprised Ukyo.
Ignoring protests from the suddenly male Ukyo, Shampoo snuggled up next
to him.  "Ranma, come sit by Shampoo?"

     "I don't think so."  Ranma wondered distractedly if he'd ever
looked as panicked as Ukyo around Shampoo.  He suspected that the only
times he had were when Shampoo was a cat.  Something else occurred to
him.  It didn't look like Shampoo was trying very hard to find a
solution.  In fact, she seemed to like the situation, even if no one
else did.  Ranma and the others would have to at least try to fix things
themselves.

End Chapter 2.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 3:

     Ryoga was just finishing a kata when she heard soft footsteps
behind her.  Turning she discovered that their source was Nodoka
Saotome.

     "Ryoga, I was hoping that we could talk."

     "I'd be glad to, Mrs. Saotome.  What do you want to talk about?"

     "It's about your behavior.  Normally I'd approve of manly
activities, such as sneaking into a girl's room at night, but I don't
think that's appropriate under current circumstances."

     "You'd approve?  What do you mean by current circumstances,
anyway?"  As far as Ryoga was concerned, Nodoka's statement made little
or no sense.

     "I mean that since you're a girl, at least temporarily, you should
behave appropriately.  Spying on other girls isn't proper," Nodoka said
sternly.

     Ryoga turned pale, and stammered a reply, "I wasn't spying on
anyone, I, Uh, I just wanted to talk to Akane."

     "Hmm.  I suppose there isn't anything wrong with that.  I just want
to make sure that you remain loyal to Ranma.  I know things are
difficult for the two of you right now, but I'm sure you'll solve this
problem."

     Ryoga might have had a sense of direction, but at the moment she
was completely lost. Ranma's mother couldn't have meant that the way it
sounded, could she?  "I'm not sure what you mean?"

     Nodoka frowned and decided to state her position more explicitly.
"I may not be comfortable with Ranma's curse, but I want to make sure
that he or she has a happy life.  You wouldn't do anything to hurt
Ranma, would you?"

     "No I wouldn't."  Ryoga didn't really see the connection, but she
was a lot more comfortable with this line of questioning.  After all,
she and Ranma had ended their feud quite a while ago.

      "Good.  Ranma still has a lot to learn about being a girl and a
mother does have a right to look out for her child."  Nodoka left the
dojo satisfied.  Ryoga was a fine boy, well a fine girl at the moment,
and she was sure things would turn out for the best.  With a little help
of course.

     Behind her, Ryoga stood dumbfounded.  It seemed she had meant it
the way it sounded.  The only thing that Ryoga was sure of was that she
wouldn't be telling Ranma about this conversation anytime soon.

===================

     "Okay, everyone.  Before we get to school I think we should talk
about some stuff," Ranma said.

     "Now isn't a good time.  If we don't hurry we'll be late."

     "We can keep walking, Akane.  This is important.  I don't think
Shampoo cares if we switch back.  She seems to like being engaged to two
guys."

      "Are you saying that you think Shampoo is really engaged to you?"
Although Akane's words were phrased a question, her tone was more
appropriate to uttering death threats.

     "I'm twice as engaged to you as Shampoo is.  I am an honorary
amazon, after all," Ukyo said, his words overlapping Akane's.

     "I'm not talking about any stupid engagement, you two.  This is
something important." Ranma said impatiently.  He then took an
involuntary step back, as Akane and Ukyo focused their gazes upon him.
"I didn't mean that the way it sounded.  I just think we should get that
statue from Shampoo and try to switch back."

     Ukyo said, "You might be right Ranma, but I'm going to be busy
reopening Ucchan's today.  I can't afford to close down for longer than
one day."

     Ryoga who had been silent until now, spoke, "I don't think it will
do any good, but I'll help.  Anything is worth a try."  As they
approached Furinkan High Ryoga peered ahead.  "Why do you think all
those people are standing out in front of the school?"

    "I can't believe that Kuno would try this again."  To Akane seeing
the crowd of boys armed with various items of sporting equipment was
like a bad dream come to life.  At least there didn't seem to be as many
this time.

     Any further questions that Ryoga might have had were cut off as the
horde charged forward, shouting battle cries.  "I won't let anyone
defeat you, Ukyo.  I'll do it myself."  Those words were repeated in a
dozen variations by the charging boys.

     Ryoga didn't really know what was going on, but she knew how to
respond when attacked.  Unslinging Ukyo's battle spatula, Ryoga began
brutally carving a path through the onrushing attackers.  It didn't take
long before she  was the only one left standing.  Ryoga noticed an
object flying towards her out of the corner of her eye.  She reflexively
caught it and then stared at in confusion.  Why would someone throw a
rose at her?

     "Truly they are fools.  Such beauty can only be won by one
deserving of it."  Kuno confidently drew himself up to his full height.
"If I defeat you, I will date you."

     "Leave Ukyo alone!"  Both Ryoga and Kuno were dumbfounded to see
what appeared to be a palm tree racing straight at the kendoist.  Kuno
however, reacted swiftly.  Without thought, he swung his bokken at the
tree, cutting deeply into its trunk.  The tree split open, revealing a
cute young girl wearing a rather frilly pink dress.

     "Kuno, prepare to die!"  There are many things that Ryoga can't
tolerate.  Along with ham sandwiches, one of them is seeing the
defenseless harmed.  Seconds later, Kuno was deeply embedded in the
ground and Ryoga was wondering how you got dents out of a spatula.  As
Ryoga knelt to check on the condition of the girl who'd tried to help
her, she felt someone grab hold of her arm and begin pulling her bodily
into the school.

     "Come on, Ukyo.  We've got to get out of here before he wakes up."

     Ryoga twisted futily in the real Ukyo's grip, but couldn't pull
free.  "Kuno isn't waking up any time soon, and I'm not scared of him
anyway."

     "I wasn't talking about Kuno."

=====================

     "It's your fault we were late, you know."

     Ryoga shrugged, out of habit being careful not to spill the buckets
of water she was holding.  "I don't see how you can blame me.  I didn't
ask to get attacked like that and I didn't make you wait for me.  I
don't know why you were so eager to get to class anyway.  We were
already late."

     "I wanted to get out of there before Tsubasa came around.  You have
no idea of the trouble I've faced."  Ukyo's expression was grim,
reflected the serious nature of his thoughts.

     "Tsubasa?  Is that the girl's name?"

     "Not exactly.  I mean, Tsubasa isn't exactly a girl."

     "What are you saying?  Does she have a curse or something?"

     "Tsubasa is a curse.  He's a cross dressing freak who's made my
life miserable."

     Ryoga became mildly nauseous when she realized that she thought
another ... well a guy was cute. "Don't you think that's a little
harsh?"

     Ukyo glanced around to make sure no one was in earshot.  "I dress
like a guy because I renounced my femininity when Genma ran off with my
father's yatai.  Tsubasa just dresses like that because he enjoys it.
That isn't the real problem though.  He just won't take no for an
answer.  Even with Ranma's help I was barely able to get rid of him last
time."

====================

     "Will you be quiet?" Ranma hissed at the girl following him.

     ""Sorry.  I'm not used to all this sneaking stuff."  Ryoga grinned
apologetically as she spoke.

     "If I didn't need your help to get here, I would have done it
myself.  Are you sure that this is the back of the Nekohanten?"

     "Yes, I'm sure.  Well, mostly sure."

     Ranma frowned.  Even if being in Ukyo's body gave Ryoga a sense of
direction, Ranma still wished he'd been able to get some else as a
guide.  There was just something wrong about this.  "That will have to
do.  The statue is probably in Shampoo's bedroom on the upper floor, so
we'd better start climbing."

     The two young martial artists easily scaled the side of the
building, Ryoga slightly behind Ranma.  Ranma was just easing the
window, when he noticed something.  Shampoo was in the room and she
wasn't dressed for company.  As Ranma rested his hands upon the window
sill, he felt a surge of pain.  He barely had the presence of mind to
remain silent as he jerked his hands away.  It wasn't until he was on
the way down that he realized he should have left one hand holding on.

     Shampoo heard a crash from the alley below and instinctively looked
over at the window.  Sure enough it was open a crack, and one of the
traps she'd set for Happosai had been triggered.  Well if the pervert
tried again, he'd find some very nasty surprises.  It was time to make a
few preparations.  Then she could finish getting ready to see her
airens.

     If Shampoo had bothered to look out of the window, she would have
seen the causes of the crash quarreling below.

     "Get off of me, Ranma." Ryoga ordered.  "Do you have any idea how
heavy you are?"

     "It's your body."  Ranma stood and winced as he pulled a spring
trap off of his fingers.

     "That's why you fell?  I thought that you were a martial artist and
then you go and stick your fingers into a trap like that," Ryoga said
sarcastically.

     "I was a little distracted.  Shampoo was in there.  We'll have to
wait for her to leave before we try again."

====================

     Ukyo smiled as she cooked.  Even though Shampoo had taken some time
off, supposedly looking for a way to reverse the body switching,
business was as good as it had ever been.  If Ukyo had felt like being
honest she would have admitted that the Nekohanten's being closed
probably had something to do with that.  It also might have been due to
a slight difference in the way her chef's uniform fit Ranma's body.
Binding her breasts seemed both excessively uncomfortable and slightly
absurd.  Impersonating a guy, when you could actually turn into one,
didn't make any sense.

     "I'll have a deluxe okonomiyaki, please."  When Ukyo saw the person
who spoke, her eyes widened in surprise.

     "Nabiki, what are you doing here?"  Her hands a blur, Ukyo began
preparing the requested food.

     "Nothing much, Ranma.  I was just curious about why you were
running Ucchan's."

     "You know that Ukyo isn't feeling well, Nabiki.  I'm just helping
her out for a while."  Ukyo sighed inwardly.  The last thing that she
needed was Nabiki trying to stir up trouble.

     "That's nice.  You have to be careful what you do, of course."
Nabiki's eyes danced with amusement as she watched Ukyo try to interpret
her words.

      "What exactly do you mean?" Ukyo asked warily.

      "Just that a few rumors I thought had been laid to rest have
started up again.  After Hiroshi and Sayuri saw you with Ryoga at that
restaurant, people have started to say that you're seeing Ryoga secretly
because your mother doesn't approve."

     "That's absurd."  To those who knew the the true situation, Ukyo's
tone of voice indicated that she thought Nabiki's insinuations might
have more truth in them than she was comfortable with.

     "True.  But you have to be careful not to do anything that could
confirm those rumors.  I know how easily that could happen."

      "Right."  Ukyo set the finished okonomiyaki in front of Nabiki.
She ate it in silence and then paid the bill and left, leaving Ukyo to
wonder.  Judging by what Nabiki had said, she seemed to be trying to
help Ranma out.  That hardly seemed likely, but her advice was still
good.  Ukyo had entertained ideas of taking advantage of her position to
become closer to Ranma.  Thinking about matters more thoroughly it
didn't seem like a good idea.  There was another possibility though.
She just needed to get Ryoga to cooperate.

====================

     "Will you hurry up and open it?" Ryoga hissed.

     "I'm trying.  Shampoo must have locked it after last time."
Ranma's voice was laced with frustration.  A martial artist could climb
a wall by digging his fingers into small cracks and depressions, but
that didn't make it a pleasant experience.  Especially if it involved
hanging from one arm while trying to pry open a stubborn window with the
other.

     "Then just break it.  I'm getting tired of hanging here."

     "I've got a better idea.  Follow me up."  Ranma decided to ignore
Ryoga's softly voiced comment that told him just where he could put his
ideas.

     After they'd reached the rooftop, Ryoga turned and asked, "What's
the bright idea now, fearless leader."

     "Simple, I'm going to go in through the ventilation system."

     Ryoga looked at the duct opening comparing it's size to that of
Ranma.  "You'll never fit."

     "It'll be a breeze."  Ranma smiled as he produced a canteen and a
thermos.  "All I have to is change into P-chan and find the statue.
It's small enough that I can carry it out and you can change me back."

     Ryoga was silent for a moment as she evaluated the plan.  It seemed
like it could work, but it also had the potential to go hideously wrong
and embarrass Ranma.  "It sounds like it's worth a try."  Either result
was fine with Ryoga.

     Ranma opened the canteen and tipped the contents over his head.
Ryoga then fished the small pig out of the pile of clothes and dropped
him down the ventilation shaft.

=================

     "Have you considered the problem that we face in our plans to unite
our schools, Tendo?"

     Soun Tendo stared across the shogi board at the heavy set man
sitting opposite him and replied,  "I don't see any new problems.  What
do you mean?"

     Genma smiled widely and took advantage of the opportunity to switch
a couple of pieces around.  "I mean the fact that Ranma is now Ryoga.
We can't have our children marry now."

     "Ranma's still engaged to Akane, no matter what body he's in.
Nothing has changed."

     "We don't know when or if they're going to get switched back and
until we do we can't go ahead with the marriage.  If our children got
married now, Akane would end up being Ryoga's wife."

     Soun scratched his head absentmindedly.  "Then we'd have to get
Ukyo to marry Akane?  I don't think she'd like that, although I have
heard rumors about the Kuonji girl."

     His opponent shook his head impatiently.  "No that wouldn't do it
either.  After all, we don't know if they'll ever get switched back."

     "That-that's terrible.  Our lines will never be united!"

     Seeing that Soun was on the edge of a full blown crying jag, Genma
spoke hurriedly, "It's okay, Tendo.  I have plan to take advantage of
the
situation."

====================

     Ranma ran flat out, a series of darts clanging into the wall of
the ventilation shaft, mere inches behind him.  He risked a glance
behind him ,the small boulder looked like it had gained slightly.

     If he could have spared the energy, Ranma would have wondered what
kind of person tuned their air conditioning ducts into a death trap and
why it had been triggered by a pair of panties.  Of course, he already
knew the answers to those questions.

     Putting on a burst of speed, Ranma passed through the wall of fire
the sprung up ahead of him.  Thanks to his momentum, he was barely
singed.  Hurtling a row of spikes, he bared his teeth in a piggy grin.
He could see light ahead and that meant he was almost out.

       Ryoga's eyes shot open as Ranma hurtled from the air duct with a
resounding clang.  Something told Ryoga that things hadn't gone as
planned.  Perhaps it was the fact that the pig seemed to be smoldering
slightly.  Sighing, she unscrewed the lid of the thermos and poured the
contents over Ranma.

     "I take it there were complications."

    Ranma pulled hiss clothes back on while he spoke, "Yeah.  I think
Cologne spent too much time watching Indiana Jones and the Temple of
Doom."

     "Indiana what?  Never mind.  I say this time we use the direct
approach."  Ryoga was interrupted by the sound of a door opening and
closing below.

     "Too late, it sounds like Shampoo is back.  We'll never get the
statue with her there."  Ranma stared out over the street glumly.  His
expression changed when he caught sight of an unusual figure.  "Say,
Ryoga, do you see that girl in the pink dress?"

     Ryoga joined Ranma and scanned the street.  "You mean Tsubasa?  We
met and Ukyo told me about him."

     "Well, I have another plan.  This is what you have to do, buddy."

====================

     Kasumi hurried to answer the door.  She hoped that it wasn't
Shampoo again.  She'd been very disappointed when told that neither
Ranma nor Ukyo were available.  When Kasumi opened the door, she was
surprised to find a short, dark haired girl holding a strangely hooked
spear.

     "Hello.  I'm looking for a Ranma Saotome.  Do you know who he is?"

End Chapter 3


Chapter Four: The New Girl

     Kasumi smiled innocently at the young girl in front of her.  "I'm
afraid that Ranma isn't in right now.  Should I tell him that you're
looking for him?"

     "Yes, I think you should.  Tell him that Kiyomi Matsumara is
looking for him.  He'll know why."

     "I'll do that.  Would you like to stay for tea?"

     "No, I have some other business to take care of.  I'll see Ranma
tomorrow."

     Kasumi watched the girl depart with a degree of frustration.  How
could Mr. Saotome have been so irresponsible?  Ranma didn't deserve to
have this much trouble.  The one bright spot was that Ukyo would be able
to deal with this better than Ranma would have.

=====================

     Ranma and Ryoga were walking side by side towards the Tendo's home,
deep in conversation.

     "I can't believe that I let you talk me into doing that, Ranma,"
Ryoga grumbled.

     "Don't worry.  No matter how things turn out you won't have to go
through with it.  Tsubasa only gets his date if he finds the statue and
if that happens you'll have switched back."

      "So, the only thing I have to worry about is Ukyo killing me when
she finds out."

      "I'm almost sure that she'll understand.  She wants to switch back
too."  Ranma ground his teeth in frustration.  He'd devised the perfect
plan to get the statue and all Ryoga could do was complain.  Actually,
it was sort of funny.  By the time Ranma set foot inside the house he
was almost chuckling.  His mirth suddenly died when he saw who was
waiting for him inside.

     "Ranma how could you?"  Akane's face was composed in the grim lines
that Ranma knew all too well.

     "How could I what?  I don't know what your talking about, Akane."
Ranma tried to assume an expression of innocence, but didn't have much
luck.  It was too bad he'd copied the expression from Genma.

      "Does the name Kiyomi Matsumara mean anything to you?"

      Ranma gulped nervously.  Akane asking that question about a girl
meant trouble in more ways that one.  "No.  I'm afraid that it doesn't
seem familiar."

      "She stopped by this afternoon and asked Kasumi about you.  Does
that help you remember?"

      "No.  I'm still coming up blank."

      Ryoga cut in, "You've got to remember her, Ranma.  Kiyomi was that
girl we kept meeting when you walked me home."  Ryoga smiled
maliciously.  "I think she had a crush on you."

     "Do you remember her now?" Akane asked.

     "Yeah, sort of.  She looked a bit like you, only she was cute."
Ranma briefly wondered why he'd said that.  He shrugged off his concerns
though.  Akane was going to hit him anyway, there was no sense in
dragging it out.

     "Ranma, you jerk!"  Akane produced a shinai and swung it in an
overhand arc towards Ranma's head.  However, instead of the usual
thud, it produced a sharp crack when it connected and snapped cleanly in
two.

     "Hey!  That didn't hurt at all. You must be eating too much of your
own cooking if you're getting that weak, Akane."  Ranma smirked as Akane
started to turn a dull red.

     "Why don't you two talk this over, while I go train?"  As Ryoga
left the room, she winced at the sounds behind her.  Her real body was
tough, but there were limits.

====================

     "Yo, Pop.  I want to talk to you about something."

     Looking up from the magazine he was reading, Genma saw his son
standing over him.   "Ranma, what do you want.?" he asked warily.

     "We had a visitor yesterday.  Her name was Kiyomi Matsumara," Ranma
said flatly.  "She was looking for me.  She isn't a fiancee that you've
forgotten to mention, is she?"

       Genma felt a trickle of sweat run out from under the bandanna
covering his head.  "I'm, uh, not sure.  Was she a tall blond with green
eyes?"

     "No, Pop.  She's short with dark hair."

     "Then are you sure that her name wasn't Kiyoki Matsumura?"

     "I'm sure.  Just how many people did you engage me to?"  Even as
he spoke, Ranma knew that he didn't to hear the answer.

     "Only thirty-two girls.  It's really not as bad as it sounds.
Besides, it sounds like you got involved with this Kiyomi girl on your
own."

     "What?  There's no way that I'd get myself engaged to anyone!"

     "I didn't say engaged.  Have you forgotten Shampoo and Kodachi so
soon?"  Genma shook his head sadly.  "The curse of the Saotome men.  I
can't remember how much trouble this irresistible attraction that women
have towards us has caused me."

     "Yeah right, pop.  You'd better be telling the truth about not
engaging me to Kiyomi."

   ===================

     When Tsubasa heard the front door of the restaurant he was in open,
he froze momentarily.  He was well aware that what he was trying to do
was illegal.  Yesterday, when Ukyo had offered to go on a date with him
if he did just one little favor for her it hadn't seemed to matter.  The
statue didn't sound valuable anyway.  Shaking off his paralysis, he
hurriedly disguised himself as one of the Nekohanten's chairs.

     Entering the Nekohanten, Shampoo felt a brief pang of loneliness.
It didn't seem to be the same without Great-grandmother.  She even
missed Mousse, just a tiny bit.  He'd gone back to China as well.
Shampoo didn't know why, but supposed it was part of some plan to try to
win her love.

     From his hiding place, Tsubasa watched the Chinese girl, who'd
paused in the entrance.  She was almost as beautiful as Ukyo, and he
considered proclaiming his love.  He put that thought aside, when he saw
her reach into a pocket on her dress and pull out a small object.
Squinting, Tsubasa saw that it was a black statue of two people standing
back to back.  It looked just as Ukyo had described.  This was going to
be harder than he'd thought.

==================

     "You said that you wanted to talk to me about something, Ranchan?"
Ukyo inquired.  She glanced at the two people standing opposite her.
She'd always thought that Ryoga and Akane would make a cute couple, but
this wasn't what she'd had in mind.

     "Yes, I did.  This girl that I met while I was going to school with
Ryoga showed up looking for me.  Pop swears that he didn't engage me to
her or nothing, but I still need you to talk to her."

     "You left out something, Ranma."  Turning to Ukyo, Akane continued,
"Ryoga said that she had a crush on Ranma."

     "So, you want me talk to her and make sure that she doesn't get the
wrong idea."  Ukyo smiled.  This girl wasn't any kind of threat under
the circumstances, but she was the perfect excuse to put her plan into
motion.  "I'd be glad to help out."

==================

     Ukyo had almost groaned when Kasumi told her that Ryoga was in the
dojo.  The constant training was becoming tiresome, especially since
Ukyo wanted to talk to Ryoga.  It wouldn't hurt Ryoga if her training
got interrupted briefly.  Especially since she had as much to gain from
this as Ukyo did.  At least that was what Ukyo told herself as she
entered the dojo.

     As Ukyo entered the building Ryoga paused.  "Ranma- I mean Ukyo,
what do you want?"

     "I want to talk to you.  Do you know about that new girl that
showed up?"

     "Yeah.  Ranma didn't remember her until I reminded him.  I suppose
that you're going to have to stand in for Ranma, when she shows up
again."

     Ukyo flashed a smile at Ryoga.  "You figured that out faster than I
thought you would.  I'm going to need someone to pose as my fiancee and
I was hoping that you'd do it."

     "You've got to be kidding.  There's no way that I'm pretending to
be engaged to Ranma."

      "Technically, you already are since everyone thinks you're me.
Besides, you didn't seem to mind when you were pretending that you were
dating him!'

     "That's completely different!"  Ryoga stopped speaking when she
realized that telling Ukyo it was different because Ranma had been a
girl at the time was probably a bad idea.  In fact, mentioning that to
anyone could probably wait.

      "Exactly how is it different?  Never mind, I just asked you
because I'd really prefer not to involve Akane.  If you think that I
should...?"   Ukyo let her voice trail off, leaving the question
unfinished.  Akane was already involved, making sure that Ranma and Mr.
Saotome stayed out of the way.  Ryoga didn't need to know that, however.

     Ryoga gritted her teeth.  "All right, I'll do it."  Ukyo was right
about not involving Akane.  Even if it wasn't real, seeing Akane and
Ranma acting like a happy couple would be more than Ryoga could take.
Also, Ukyo would be mad enough when she found out about the agreement
Ryoga had made for her to date Konatsu.  That was all Ranma's fault, but
Ukyo probably wouldn't see it that way.  It would be wise to stay on her
good side.

     "Fine.  Then all we need to do is change you into some feminine
clothes and get you fixed up."  Chills started to run up Ryoga's spine
at the sight of Ukyo's satisfied smirk.

     "What are you talking about?"

     "Ryoga, we're going to have to make this look convincing.  This
Kiyomi person won't believe that Ranma's engaged to someone that looks
like a guy."

     "It's not as if you have any girl's clothing," Ryoga protested.

     "We'll borrow something from Akane or Nabiki.  Now stop whining."
Grabbing hold of Ryoga's arm, Ukyo began to pull her out of the dojo.

====================

     Tsubasa almost wept in frustration.  The statue had been placed on
a table not far from his hiding place, but that didn't do him any good.
The Chinese girl kept moving around the restaurant, but she never left
the room long enough for Tsubasa to get the statue.  Finally, she left
building again and Tsubasa slowly began to creep closer to his goal.
When she reentered the room a minute later, clutching a handful of mail,
he was forced to freeze into immobility once more.

      Shampoo sat down at the table she'd left the statue on and began
to absentmindedly go through the mail.  Tossing aside assorted bills and
junk mail, she paused when she came to a letter with a Chinese
postmark.  A smile brightened her face as she opened it, perhaps Cologne
had written to say she was returning soon.  She read for several
moments, before dropping the letter with a gasp."  Aiyah!  This very bad
news."

     Tsubasa blinked as Shampoo raced out the door, leaving the statue
behind.  Shrugging, he emerged from his hiding place.  It was too bad
that the girl had received such upsetting news.  It did make his job a
lot easier though.  As he walked over to collect the statue, he stopped
to examine the letter.  Unfortunately, it was written in Chinese and he
discarded it unread.  If he'd been able to read it, he would have found
the contents to be just as upsetting as Shampoo had.

==================

     Ukyo waited in the Tendo's living room, dressed in Ranma's best
Chinese outfit.  He glanced over at Ryoga, who was slouching against the
wall.  "Stop sulking, Ryoga.  You should be grateful that Kasumi lent
you one of her old dresses."

     "Exactly why should I be grateful?"

     "Because you didn't have to use any of Nabiki's suggestions.  Now
stop slouching and smile."

     As Ryoga attempted to comply, they heard the front door open and
Kasumi greet the visitor.

     Ukyo hurriedly looked away from Ryoga as Kiyomi entered the room.
"You haven't changed, Ranma.  I assume you know why I'm here."

     Ukyo swallowed nervously.  "Yes I do and I just want to say that I
don't think it will work out."

      "What are you talking about?  It took me months to find you, and
you expect me to just give up?"

     There was something wrong about the way that Kiyomi was looking at
him and the barbed spear that she was carrying definitely looked
intimidating, but Ukyo felt he had know choice but to continue.
"Kiyomi, I can understand why you'd be attracted to me, but  I'm
afraid..."

     "You dare to mock me?  I've come for revenge for the way you
humiliated me.  Now die!"

     Caught off guard, Ukyo barely dodged the first deadly thrust of the
spear and hurled himself backwards to avoid a vicious sweep of the
weapons shaft.  "What are you talking about?"  Ukyo didn't really care
what the answer was, but talking things over seemed like a good idea.

     "You crushed my dream and now you pretend that you don't
remember?"  Kiyomi swung her spear in a complicated figure eight,
forcing Ukyo backwards.  "You can go to your grave wondering."

     Shaking off her paralysis, Ryoga moved up behind the smaller girl
and grabbed hold of her, pinning Kiyomi's arms to her sides.  "Can't you
just talk this over peacefully?"

     "Yes, I can."  Feeling Kiyomi relax, Ryoga loosened her grip
slightly.  "Just as soon as I have my revenge!"  Twisting like an eel,
Kiyomi broke free of Ryoga grasp and lunged at Ukyo.

     Taking advantage of the speed the Ranma's body gave him, Ukyo
sidestepped the attack and darted out the door past Kiyomi. When Ryoga
and Kiyomi followed, the only sign of Ukyo's presence was a series of
ripples on the surface of the koi pond.  A moment later, Ukyo surfaced
sputtering.  Pointing over the wall surrounding the Tendos' property,
she cried, "He went that way!"

     Without pausing to acknowledge the information, Kiyomi bounded over
the wall in pursuit of a phantom.

     Her eyes gazing in the direction of her departing assailant, Ukyo
sighed.  "I think I need to come up with a new plan to deal with her."

==================

     Spurred on by the importance of her information, Shampoo hurried
through the Tendos' house, barely listening when informed that Ukyo was
out back.  What she saw when she got there made a far greater
impression.  Ukyo was sitting by the koi pond, trying to wring out a set
of soaked clothing, without removing it.  Ryoga stood nearby, wearing
one of the long dresses favored by the eldest Tendo daughter.

     As Shampoo approached, she could here Ryoga speaking.  "I already
told you, I have know idea why she wanted to kill you."

     "What Ryoga talking about?"  Shampoo's news was important, but this
sounded as if it was slightly more urgent.

     "Oh hi, Shampoo.  This girl that Ryoga and Ranma used to know
showed up, looking for Ranma.  I decided to talk to her and she tried to
kill me.  If I'd had my spatula, I could've beaten her easily."

     "It's strange.  I don't remember Ranma doing anything to her.
We'll just have to try to get Ranma to remember."

     "Ranchan can be a bit inconsiderate sometimes, but I'm sure it's
not anything serious."

     "That right.  Shampoo have much worse news for airen."

     "Worse than someone trying to kill me?"  Ukyo's voice contained
both worry and skepticism.

     "Mousse leave tribe and come to challenge under marriage laws.
Great-grandmother very worried."

     "Don't take this the wrong way, hon, but that doesn't sound like my
problem.  I know that you don't want to marry Mousse, but it would
really simplify things for me."

     "Ukyo not understand.  Mousse not challenge Shampoo, he challenge
Ukyo."

     "Just great.  Kuno, Tsubasa and now Mousse.  Things keep getting
better and better."

     Shampoo whirled to face a dejected Ryoga.  "Shampoo forget.  Mousse
not know about switch.  Things not so bad after all."

     Ryoga just groaned and wondered where Tsubasa was and how long it
would take for him to get the statue.  Ranma was right.  Shampoo didn't
seem to be taking the switch seriously at all.  From the look on Ukyo's
face, as Shampoo tried to persuade her to get some hot water, it was
clear that she was reaching the same conclusion."

==================

     Meanwhile, outside of Ucchan's a mailbox sighed loudly, attracting
stares from curious passersby.  Tsubasa had the statue, but if Ukyo
didn't show up, he'd never get the date that she'd promised him.

End Chapter Four.


Chapter 5:

     "Ucchan, be reasonable!"  Ranma reluctantly moved out of the way as
Ukyo carried another pile of clothing out of his closet.

     "Not a chance.  Until you tell me why that psychopath wants to kill
me, I'm not giving her another chance."

     Ranma shifted uneasily, as he watched Ukyo stuff another piece of
clothing into the box.  "I already told you, I don't remember.  You
can't just spend all your time as a girl until Kiyomi leaves."

     "Why not?"  Ukyo's seemingly sincere question halted Ranma
momentarily.

     "Because, everyone will think I'm some kind of pervert."  Ranma
folded his arms triumphantly, as if that settled the issue.

     "Everyone already does.  Besides, I'm the one that they'll think is
a pervert.  As long as you're Ryoga it's not your problem."  Seeing that
Ranma was unconvinced, Ukyo sighed and elaborated.  "I'm just not good
enough without my spatula to fight her.  If I try people will know that
something's up.  This is just until I can figure something else out."

     "That still doesn't give you the right to take all my clothes."

     "It's not like you can wear them now.  Say, Ranchan why do you-"

     "My mom bought them and Nabiki picked them out," Ranma said
shortly.

     "Oh.  I just wondered because they didn't really seem to be your
style."

=================

     Ryoga would never admit it to anyone, but she actually missed
getting lost, at least a little bit.  Even before the body switch, Ryoga
had managed to stay at the Tendos' for several weeks and it was an
unfamiliar feeling.  That was why, after the fiasco with Kiyomi, Ryoga
found herself wandering aimlessly through the streets of Nerima.

     "Ukyo, I've found you."

     Ryoga continued walking for a moment, until she realized that the
voice was probably referring to her.  Looking carefully around, Ryoga
didn't see anyone nearby.  The voice did sound familiar though.
"Tsubasa?" Ryoga called uncertainly.

     "I'm over here."  Ryoga jumped as Tsubasa's head emerged from a
nearby mailbox.  "I've got the statue."

     "That's great!  Give it to me."

     "In a minute.  Is Saturday all right for our date?"

     "Yes," Ryoga said through gritted teeth.

     "Fine.  I'll pick you up at seven."  With a feminine giggle,
Tsubasa allowed Ryoga to snatch up the crudely carved statue.

      With a grim smile, Ryoga watched the mailbox move away from her.
All she had to do was get back to the Tendo's and then Ukyo could worry
about dating Tsubasa.  As she turned  confidently to stride off, one
thought penetrated Ryoga's mind.  "Where on earth am I now?"

===================

     Ryoga stumbled slightly, as she landed from the leap to the Tendos'
roof.  She could understand the attraction the location had for someone
wishing to brood.  After all, she'd done it herself.  "Ranma, I met
Tsubasa and I have the statue.  Is Ukyo still here?"

     "Nah.  She left hours ago.  Where have you been Ryoga?"

     "Just walking."  If Ryoga's answer was lacking in detail, she gave
no sign of elaborating."

     " I suppose you're happy that you don't have to worry about getting
lost anymore.  Nobody will let me go anywhere now."

     Ryoga chuckled nervously.  "That's right.  I don't have to worry
about getting lot anymore."

      "Anyway, we can head over to Ucchan's after supper and get
everything straightened out then.  Enjoy having a sense of direction
while you can."

==================

     Business had been slow that night, so Ukyo was surprised when the
door swung open just before closing and two familiar faces entered.

     "Ranchan, Ryoga what are you doing here?"

     "We're ready to switch back."  With a triumphant grin, Ranma
produced the statue.

     "You've got it?  How did you manage that?"

     "Never mind.  I'll tell you later."  Ryoga had already decided that
immediately after the switch would be a very good time to catch up on
being lost.  Ukyo had always been a bit violent and the two of them
hadn't been getting along well lately.

     "What are you waiting  for then."  Ukyo moved to stand closer to
Ryoga on the theory that proximity would make her more likely to wind up
in the correct body.

     "Nothing I guess.  Anything Goes Secret Technique: Ghostly Spirit
Switch!"  Ranma watched the statue in his hand intently as it emitted
several bright pink sparks that fell quietly to the ground.

     "That's it?  Are you sure that you did it right?"

     Ryoga's response was less temperate.  "Give me that!"  Suiting
actions to words, he snatched the statue from Ranma's hands.  "Come on.
Switch us back!"   Several more sparks fell from the statue tending more
towards purple this time.  "I said switch us back!"  Out of frustration,
Ryoga began to shake the figurine vigorously.

     "Take it easy, Ryoga.  If you break that we're stuck."  Ranma
grabbed the statue and tried to pull it out of Ryoga's grip.

     "That's easy for you to say.  You don't have to date Tsubasa."
Ryoga twisted the statue, trying to compensate for the superior strength
of her original body.

     "Excuse me.  What did you just say?"

     Ryoga released her grip and with a sickly grin pasted to her face,
began to back away from Ukyo.  "Oh nothing.  It's all Ranma's fault
anyway."  Backing into the door, Ryoga began fumbling for the knob.
"I'd better be going now.  Bye!"  The sound of a slamming door puncuated
Ryoga's last words.

     "Not so fast, Ranchan."  Moving quickly, Ukyo cut off Ranma's path
of retreat as he tried to follow Ryoga.  "One of you is going to
explain."

     Ranma shrugged, trying hard to look innocent.  "There isn't much to
tell.  We had a bit of trouble finding the statue, so Ryoga made a
bargain to get Tsubasa's help."

     "I suppose the two of you planned for me to go on a date with
Tsubasa after we switched back," Ukyo said, anger tingeing her voice.

     "Well, yes.  You're not mad or anything are you?"  Ranma began
trying to edge around Ukyo and reach the door.

     "Not really.  I suppose I should be, but I want to get my own body
back as well and I'm beginning to expect things like this."

     "Right.  Then I'd better be going."  Ranma paused at the door
uncertainly.  "Do you think you could walk me back to the Tendos',
Ucchan?"

     "Not right now.  I have to get things cleaned up here.  Why don't
you just stay here for the night?"

     "I guess that'll be all right.  Nobody could think that there was
anything going on between the two of us now."

     Ukyo looked vaguely unsatisfied at that answer, but didn't
protest.  Instead she motioned for Ranma to grab a cloth and start
helping her wipe the tables down.

==================

     Meanwhile, at another restaurant, far more frenetic activities were
taking place.

     "Where stupid statue?" Shampoo shouted.  She added emphasis to her
question by hurling a heavy glass into the far wall.  The sound of
breaking glass did little to ease her mind.  She'd already searched the
Nekohanten, even looking in places she'd known couldn't hide it.  There
was only one conclusion.  She'd allowed an ancient amazon treasure to be
stolen and as a result her airens would remain trapped in the wrong
bodies.

     After pausing to consider the matter, Shampoo came to a decision.
She'd have to recover the artifact without telling anyone of its loss.
Fortunately, she had an idea of where to start looking.  "Happosai, I
find."

==================

     Ranma glance unhappily over at Ukyo.  Walking to school together
was necessary, if Ranma ever intended to arrive.  However, Ukyo seemed
far too enthusiastic about the whole idea.  The fact that she was
wearing a girl's uniform today didn't help.

     "Watch where you're going."  Noticing Ranma's distraction, Ukyo
grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him back on course.

     "Did you have to wear that?  I'm sure that Kiyomi won't be at
Furinkan, so you could switch back once you got inside."

     "You'd lose that bet.  Look who's up there leaning against the
school gates."

     Ranma squinted slightly and caught sight of a metallic sparkle
resting at the end of a long staff.  Suppressing a groan he switched his
focus to the figure beside it.  "I don't believe it.  Say, could you let
go of my hand.  People are beginning to notice."

     Ukyo took a few moments to make the needed mental conversions.  She
was walking to school with Ranma and holding his hand.  With the recent
switches, other people would see Ranma and Ryoga walking to school
together holding hands.  Ukyo released her hold and stepped away
slightly.  "Sorry.  I wasn't thinking."

     The two walked through the school gates, nodding politely to Kiyomi
as they passed her.  As a result, they missed the speculation that arose
when Ryoga and Akane arrived together moments later."

==================

     Akane scowled angrily.  Today hadn't been a good day for her.  It
had started off with Ranma and Ukyo walking to school together.
Then there had been those looks that the other girls had been giving her
all day. Eventually Sayuri had admitted they were wondering about her
and Ukyo.  Akane had reassured her that there was nothing between the
two of them, all the while aware that she was bending the truth
slightly.  She was fairly sure that Ryoga did like her, and Ryoga was
Ukyo right now.  That chain of thought really wasn't comfortable to
think about.

     The immediate cause of her frustration was more comfortable to
think about.  Her favorite blue dress was missing and she had a good
idea where it was.  You'd think that Nabiki would learn to ask before
borrowing clothes.  Opening the door to Nabiki's room, Akane sighed in
exasperation.  Sure enough, there her dress was.  Nabiki hadn't even
bothered to hang it up.  She'd just tossed it over the edge of her
desk.  When Akane picked up the dress, a plain unmarked envelope fell to
the floor.  Akane hesitated a moment, knowing she shouldn't look and
then picked up the envelope and seeing it wasn't sealed, opened it.

     Pulling out the contents, Akane wasn't surprised to find a series
of photographs.  The first ones she saw showed Ranma curled up in
Ryoga's lap.  Akane decided that they must be the photographs of Ranma
in the Neko-ken that had caused so much trouble.  The next group of
photos was actually kind of funny, since they showed Ryoga learning
to rollerblade.  There were several with a terrified Ryoga holding
tightly on to Ranma to keep from falling down.  Akane's favorite was the
one with Ranma chasing Ryoga and throwing water balloons at him.  It had
been so funny the way that Ryoga pretended to be scared.  Akane had seen
the next picture in the school's paper, Ranma and Ryoga kissing at the
end of the dance.  It was strange how Ryoga had been so disappointed
about not going to China.  It was easy to understand why Ranma felt that
way.  As Akane started to put the photos away, she noticed that one had
remained stuck inside the envelope.

     With a strange reluctance, Akane pulled it out.  Looking at it her
heart sank.  Ranma and Ryoga were shown lying together with their arms
gently wrapped around one another.  Ukyo and all the others had been
right after all.  A strange resolve filled Akane.  She wasn't going to
give up on Ranma that easily.  Maybe things wouldn't have come to this
if she'd been a better fiancee.  If it wasn't too late she'd start
making up for it.  Akane carefully placed the photographs and envelope
back on the desk and walked from the room.

===================

     "Ranma, do you want to work on our homework together?"

     Ranma quickly stuffed the statue he was examining under his futon's
mattress.  "Sure, Akane.  I'm having a little trouble with my math
homework, so maybe we could start there."

     Akane sat on the futon beside Ranma.  "All right.  Which problems
are you having difficulty with?"

     Ranma grinned sheepishly.  "Number one is really hard."

     "Determining the cosine of an object?  You just-"

     "Say, I'd probably be able to understand it easier if you wrote it
out, Akane."

     "I suppose I could do that."

     "Great!  I don't quite understand question two either, so could you
do that one too?"

==================

     "Kasumi, could you make a few sandwiches?"

     The eldest Tendo daughter smiled serenely.  "Of course.  What would
you like, Akane?"

     "I'm not sure.  Ranma and I are working on our homework together
and he wanted a snack before we started on the English assignment."

     "Well then, what do think Ranma would like?"

    Akane's smile didn't waver, although it might have become slightly
fixed and brittle.  "He said that anything was fine, as long as I didn't
make it."

     "Ranma is always so easy to please."  Humming quietly, Kasumi began
to spread butter on a slice of bread.

==================

     Ryoga carefully examined her reflection in the mirror.  There was
absolutely no way that a casual observer would believe that Ryoga was a
girl.  That was just the way she wanted it.  This business of cross
dressing was harder than most people thought, especially since Ukyo
flatly refused to let Ryoga get a haircut.  Several minutes later, Ryoga
finally admitted that she was ready for the date and with almost an hour
to spare.

     Casually hefting Ukyo's spatula, Ryoga decided to head over to
Ucchan's, where Tsubasa would expect to find her.  That was fine as far
as Ryoga was concerned.  If Akane never found out about this it would be
perfect.  Distracted by her concerns, Ryoga didn't notice when someone
followed her out of the house.

     Taking advantage of the Umisen-Ken training, Ranma kept Ryoga in
sight, while remaining unnoticed himself. Ranma Saotome considered
himself an expert on the subject of dating.  There was some
justification in this view, since he'd experienced just about every
disaster imaginable.  At the very least he should have known what not to
do.  In his professional opinion, the only thing necessary to qualify
this date for disaster relief was for it to actually start.  Ranma
shuddered, the night was still young and things would probably turn out
even worse than he imagined.

==================

     Ukyo Kuonji looked critically into the mirror.  No one would
mistake him for a girl.  Under the circumstances that went almost
without saying.  More importantly, he looked just as he'd always
imagined Ranma would on their first date.  The blue Chinese shirt with
gold trim was only the start, although it had been a bit expensive.  A
haircut, shower, and a bit of after shave helped to complete the image.
People had reacted bit strangely when he asked for a manicure, but the
nails had really needed it.  The final touch was the restoration of
Ranma's pigtail.  He'd liked it and wasn't quite sure why Ranma had
changed the style.

     Ukyo pasted a reasonable imitation of Ranma's cocky grin onto his
face.  "This time, Tsubasa will give up for good."

===================

     Back at the Nekohanten, Shampoo closed an ancient tome of Chinese
secrets.  She'd finally discovered why her attempt to reverse Happosai's
switch hadn't worked.  Unfortunately, it was even more important to
recover the statue soon than she'd thought previously.  She also
understood why Happosai hadn't reappeared yet, and why he'd probably
wait until the last moment.

End Chapter 5


Chapter 6: A Walk in the Park

     Ryoga nervously paused outside of Ucchan's.  She didn't really feel
like dealing with Ukyo right now, and she especially didn't feel like
hearing Ukyo's opinion of this date.  Keeping that in mind, she decided
to simply wait for Tsubasa in front of the restaurant.  Sighing, she
leaned against a convenient left turn sign to wait.

     "Ukyo, darling!  I was beginning to think you wouldn't come."

     With poorly concealed surprise, Ryoga jumped away from the sign.
"Don't do that!"  Ryoga supposed that the unusual traffic patterns in
front of Ucchan's should have been a hint about Tsubasa's disguise.
"So, what do you have planned for today?"

     Tsubasa smiled sweetly, causing a queasy feeling to grow in Ryoga's
stomach.  "I thought we could just walk through the park for a while.
Is that all right with you?"

     "I suppose so," Ryoga grumbled.

     To Ryoga's dismay, Tsubasa grabbed hold of her hand and started to
lead the way.  Moments later, the door to Ucchan's cracked open and a
figure dressed in Chinese clothing slipped out.  Neither Tsubasa nor
Ryoga noticed, as they were both distracted, although for very different
reasons.  Trailing behind, Ranma wondered why Ukyo had joined the
procession.  He didn't know, but suspected the jaunty tune that Ukyo was
whistling wasn't a good sign.

==================

     "Auntie Saotome, I was wondering if you could help me with
something."  Akane's voice trailed off slightly towards the end of the
sentence.

     The older woman turned, her slight smile increasing her resemblance
to Kasumi.  "I'd be glad too.  What would you like help with?"

     "Ranma's out right now and I was hoping to cook him something to
surprise him when he gets back."

     Nodoka considered her admittedly limited experience with Akane's
culinary skills.  This might not be a good thing.  Still, she was trying
and surely if Nodoka watched closely nothing would go wrong.  "Fine.
Maybe we should start with something simple.  I have an excellent recipe
for chocolate chip cookies."

=================

     "It was really nice of you to buy me ice cream."  Tsubasa giggled
contentedly as he licked his cone.  Tsubasa considered himself
fortunate.  After a romantic stroll through the park Ukyo was sure to
fall for him.

     Ryoga's mumbled reply could have been interpreted as acceptance of
the gratitude, if the listener was in a generous mood.  The truth was
that Ryoga was finding some vaguely frightening similarities between
Tsubasa's behavior and that of Ranma, at least where ice cream was
concerned.  She was also becoming aware of the growing urge to hit
someone, just on general principles. It was really annoying the way that
Kuno only showed up when you didn't want him to.

     "Isn't today wonderful."  Tsubasa began to lean into Ryoga slightly
as they walked, seemingly oblivious to his date's mood.

     Crouched in some bushes behind the happy couple, Ukyo decided that
it was time to make his move.  Drawing himself up to his full height, he
stepped forward.  "Ukyo, I was wondering if you'd like to go to the
movies with me."

     "What?" For a moment Ryoga thought that Ranma had just asked her on
a date.  Realizing that it was really Ukyo didn't clarify the situation
much.

     Before Ryoga could respond, Tsubasa confronted Ukyo.  "Ukyo is
dating me now!  I think you should leave now, Ranma."  Tsubasa's words
might have been more impressive if he'd worn something other than a
slightly frilly pink dress.  Still, the thought was there.

     "Ukyo's my fiancee.  Besides do you really think that any girl
would choose you over me?  Ukyo and I love one another."

     "Ukyo is that true?"  Tears glimmered in Tsubasa's eyes as he
turned to face Ryoga.

     "Well...  That is...  I mean I..."  After several false starts,
Ryoga trailed off and watched Tsubasa storm off.

     Ukyo smirked.  "That went better that I thought it would.  I'm
surprised he gave up so easily though."

      "What are you doing?" Ryoga hissed.

      "Getting Tsubasa out of my hair and yours.  You didn't really want
to go on this date, did you?"

      "Of course not.  But you could have told me you had something
planned."  Ryoga's complaints lacked any real force.

      "Well you deserved to be surprised."  Ukyo abruptly stopped
speaking to stare open mouthed over Ryoga's shoulder.

       "Charge!"  Ryoga was knocked sprawling as a vending machine
brushed past her.  With more warning, Ukyo simply leapt out of the way
and watched Tsubasa crash into the bushes behind him.

      "I should've known it wouldn't be that easy," Ukyo muttered.
Tsubasa clambered out of his disguise and attempted a clumsy punch, that
Ukyo easily dodged.  "Look, Tsubasa, you know you're no match for me and
I don't want to hurt you.  Why don't you just give up?"  Ukyo's
attention would have been better reserved for more serious threats.

      "Ranma, prepare to die!"  Kiyomi's barbed spear flashed through
the space Ukyo had occupied, barely missing as Ryoga shoved him out of
the way.

      Ryoga blinked as Ukyo went flying back into the bushes.  Maybe she
shouldn't have pushed Ukyo so hard.  She quickly put that out of her
mind.  There were more urgent concerns.

==================

     Shampoo sighed wearily.  It was as if Happosai had vanished into
thin air.  While he could actually do that, it didn't fit his style.
There
was no doubt that he was up to something and Shampoo was the only one
that had a chance to stop him.  That was if she could find him.  She'd
spent all day patrolling the rooftops of Nerima and hadn't found a
single sign.

     "Stop!  Pervert!"  The sound of female indignation drew Shampoo's
attention as nothing else would have.

     Or maybe she had.  Shampoo sprinted towards the shout, leaping from
rooftop to rooftop.  Arriving moments later, Shampoo saw a green haired
girl fly off, holding a weakly struggling boy.  Another false start.
That was the problem with Nerima, too many perverts.  Kuno, that Mikado
person and now this.  She'd have to figure out what set Happosai apart
from the others and set a trap.  It would just be a matter of the right
bait.

=================

  "Why do you want to kill Ranma, anyway?"  As Ryoga spoke, she gauged
Kiyomi's attitude.  At the moment it seemed fairly hostile.

      "Because he's a jerk."  Kiyomi gestured towards Tsubasa with her
spear.  "Just look at the way he was picking on this poor girl."

     "I'm not a..."

     Tsubasa was cut off by a wet Ukyo stalking out of the bushes.  "You
jerk.  You didn't have to push me into that pond."

      "You're just as bad as Ranma.  I'm going to have to teach you a
lesson."  Kiyomi swept her spear out in a vicious slash that forced
Ryoga to jump backwards.

     "You leave Ukyo alone!"  Tsubasa charged forward, only to have
Kiyomi smash the butt of her spear into his midsection.

     "Now who's picking on girls?" Ryoga said, completely ignoring
reality.

     "That's different.  I'm  a girl too."

     Ukyo watched Kiyomi and Ryoga from the corner of her eye, as she
hurried over to check on Tsubasa.  He was annoying, but she didn't
really want him hurt.  Tsubasa stirred slightly as Ukyo bent over him.
"Ranma," he croaked, "I've been thinking.  If you're in love with Ukyo,
that means that Akane is free, right?"

     "What?"  Shocked, Ukyo tried to recover her equilibrium.  "You
can't!  I mean I don't think that you're Akane's type."

     "Don't worry about me.  I wish you and Ukyo happiness together."
As Ukyo watched, Tsubasa gathered himself  and slowly rose from the
ground.

     Ukyo felt torn.  On one hand she thought she should stop Tsubasa.
On the other, hostilities between Kiyomi and Ryoga had started
escalating and she didn't want her body killed.  There was really only
one decision she could make and so Tsubasa departed without
interference.

     Ryoga was in trouble.  There was no doubt in her mind that she
could win the fight, but she still couldn't bring herself to hit a
girl.  Her only other choice was to try to talk her way out of it.  Yes,
Ryoga was certainly in trouble.

     "Can't we talk things over?  There's no reason for us to fight."
As she spoke, Ryoga retreated back into the bushes, hoping that they'd
hamper Kiyomi.  Ryoga had to admit that the buzz saw trick she used to
shred the greenery was impressive and dangerous.

     "You think you can shove that girl into a pond and help Ranma get
away, then say we don't have to fight?"  Kiyomi  emphasized her words
with a series of thrusts that Ryoga barely avoided.

     "I only pushed her to stop you from spearing her."  Ryoga ducked
under the last thrust and tried a half-hearted leg sweep that the
shorter girl easily avoided.

     "Liar!  I attacked Ranma and you pushed the coward out of the
way."  If Kiyomi noticed any inconsistencies in her version of events,
she chose to ignore them.

     There was no choice, Ryoga realized, she would have to fight.
Talking hadn't worked and Ukyo was just standing there watching.  Maybe
if she pretended that she was fighting Ranma?  That would work, Ryoga
decided.  She wasn't fighting a real girl, it was Ranma using his curse
to embarrass her.  Just like all the other times.

     Ukyo ground her teeth in frustration.  There wasn't much she could
do without weapons and Ryoga wouldn't attack.  "Why doesn't that jackass
do something?"

     "This is all your fault, Ranma!"  Ukyo blinked.  She hadn't
expected that.  Kiyomi blinked as well.  In her case it was caused by
the ghostly blue radiance forming around her opponents hands.  "Shi Shi
Hokodan!"  Kiyomi tried to dodge, but surprise slowed her and the force
of the ki blast sent her flying backwards.

     "Nice one, Ryoga."  Inwardly, Ukyo decided to ask Ranma to teach
her a ki blast.  It looked useful.

     "I shouldn't have done that."  The fight over, Ryoga's momentary
delusion had lapsed and she realized that she'd hurt a girl.

     "Why not?  She started the fight."

     "It's not right for a guy to hurt a girl."  There were still a few
things that Ryoga wasn't admitting.  At least not to anyone else.

      "You are a girl right now.  Besides, she deserved it for trying to
hurt my body."

      "I'm not a girl!" Ryoga snapped.

      "Sure you're not.  Come on, let's get out of here before she wakes
up."

==================

      Tsubasa smiled politely at the woman who'd greeted him at the
Tendo's entrance.  She seemed to take considerable care regarding her
appearance, but currently looked like she'd been mugged in a flour
mill.  "Hello.  My name is Tsubasa Kurenai."

     "I'm Nodoka Saotome.  Are you  one of Akane's classmates?  I
haven't met many of the girls who go to school with her."   Actually the
one Nodoka had met had been Ukyo and she was hoping that Akane might
know some normal girls, who could provide a good example.

     "Oh no, I don't go to Furinkan and I'm a boy, not a girl."

     "You're not a friend of Ranma's are you?"  Nodoka asked weakly.

     "No!  He's the one that stole Ukyo from me."

     This information brought a faint smile to Nodoka's lips, one that
she diligently suppressed.  "Well, most girls probably prefer their
boyfriends to be a bit more masculine."

     "I am masculine," Tsubasa retorted indignantly.

     "Most people wouldn't consider your clothing very manly.  You know,
maybe I can help you with that, young man."

     "You can?"

     "Yes.  I'm sure Kasumi can manage to help Akane for a while."

=================

      "Are you all right?"  The date had gone about how Ranma had
expected, although no one had been badly hurt.  At least he hoped that
no one had been badly hurt.  The ki blast that Ryoga had used hadn't
seemed very powerful.

      Kiyomi's eye's fluttered open as she regained consciousness.
"Ryoga, what are you doing here?"

     "Um, I just happened to be in the area, I guess.  Are you hurt?"

     "No, I think I'm fine."  Kiyomi climbed to her feet easily enough,
but when she tried to put weight on her right leg, she winced and almost
fell.  "Or maybe not.  I think my knee's hurt.  I can manage though."

     "No, if you're hurt I should help you out.  Do you have a place to
stay?"

     "I'm staying with an uncle that lives nearby.  I suppose I could
use a little help getting there."

     "I'd be glad to help you."

     "Thanks, Ryoga.  You're a nice guy, not a jerk like Ranma or that
other boy."  Kiyomi reached over to hold Ranma's hand and lean on him as
they walked.

     "I thought you and Ranma got along fine.  Are you mad at him or
something?"  Seeing an opening, Ranma decided to satisfy his curiosity.

     "He stood me up.  Even after I told him how important it was he
just left for China without even telling me."  Ranma winced as Kiyomi's
grip on his arm tightened painfully.

     Concentrating, Ranma vaguely remembered Kiyomi asking him to come
meet some of her friends.  Ryoga had challenged him to a duel though,
and he'd had to wait for him instead.  "I'm sure Ranma didn't mean to
upset you.  He can just be a little insensitive sometimes."

     "It's sweet of you to stick up for Ranma, but it's not that simple.
That was the first party my parents let me go to.  I told everyone about
the cute date I had and then he didn't show up.  I was completely
humiliated."

     "I'm afraid that it was my fault.  I challenged Ranma to a duel and
then I was late arriving.  He was probably waiting for me."

      "It's still his fault.  He could have told me he couldn't come.  I
bet the jerk wasn't even there when you arrived for the duel," Kiyomi
said angrily.

     "I was late," Ranma protested.

     "He should have waited.  After all, he knows that you have a poor
sense of direction."  Ranma tried to speak, but Kiyomi cut him off.
"Your problem is that you forgive people too easily, Ryoga."

     "I never really thought that was my problem."  Ranma's tone was
ironic,
verging upon disbelief.

     "When I finally tracked him down, he pretended he didn't know why I
was mad.  Hah!  He always claimed to be such a great martial artist, but
he ran away.  I wasn't even really trying to hurt him "

     Ranma glanced over at the spear Kiyomi was still carrying.  "You're
sure you didn't want to hurt him?"

     "Well, just a little.  I was aiming to scratch him a bit, but he
managed to dodge.  He's really good at running away.  It's as if he just
vanishes."

     "Is that your house up ahead?"

     "Yes it is.  Do you want to come in?"

     "No I'd better leave.  I'm staying at the Tendo Dojo now and
they'll expect me back."

     "Don't be silly.  Just come in and call them.  You'll never manage
to get back on your own."

     "I suppose that's a good idea," Ranma said doubtfully, noticing for
the first time that Kiyomi was perhaps leaning slightly more against him
than was strictly necessary.

====================

     Akane, gazed with pride at a tray of slightly burnt, but overwise
normal chocolate chip cookies.  With the way that Ranma ate, she doubted
he'd notice that they were anything but perfect.  The fact that she'd
had help and that the kitchen looked like a war zone were unimportant
details. Now, if only he'd arrive.  Ryoga had been back for half an
hour, but there was no sign of Ranma.  The ringing of the telephone
provided a welcome distraction for her.

     "Hello, this is the Tendo residence."  There was a moment of
silence, as Akane listened to the caller.  "Ranma,  is that you?"

End Chapter 6


Chapter 7: A Day of Rest

     Ranma waited nervously by the gate to Kiyomi's house.  Akane had
seemed very reasonable on the phone, even offering to come pick him up.
That was what made Ranma so nervous.  There was no way that Akane could
really be that calm.  The only explanation was that she was  hiding her
true feelings.  The idea of Akane being able to do that just didn't make
sense to Ranma.  When it came to subtlety she was right up there with
Ryoga.

     "Ranma, over here."  Losing his train of thought, Ranma looked up
to see Akane smiling and waving at him.

     "Hi, Akane.  You aren't mad that you had to come and get me or
anything are you?"  Ranma asked, demonstrating his own subtlety.

     "Don't be silly.  I know it isn't your fault that you got lost.
Why do you ask?"

     "Well, usually you'd be a bit upset if I called you from a girl's
home."

     "We are engaged.  I just have to learn to trust you.  Besides, I
know that you wouldn't do anything with another girl."  As she spoke,
Akane took Ranma's hand and began guiding him back to the Tendo Dojo.

     As he allowed himself to be led off, Ranma shook his head in
confusion.  Just what had Akane meant by that?

==================

     "Ryoga, you gotta help me."

     Ranma's desperate appeal triggered alarms deep in Ryoga's
subconscious.  In order for Ranma to act like that there had to be
something seriously wrong.  "What is it, Ranma?" Ryoga asked warily.

     "Akane's being nice to me."  Ranma's tone was completely at odds
with the contents of his statement.

     Ryoga paused uncertainly.  That was bad, but she was surprised that
Ranma would think so.  "Could you repeat that?"

     "No matter what I do, Akane won't get angry.  I think it started
last night when we were doing our homework together. I didn't pay much
attention to it then, but it's getting worse."

     "I still don't see your problem."

     "Akane just doesn't act like this.  I took Kiyomi home after you ki
blasted her, and  when Akane came to pick me up she didn't say a word
about it."

    "You followed me?"

    Ranma smirked before replying.  "Yeah, I was worried about you
losing your temper or something.  I found out why Kiyomi wants to kill
me too.  I'll tell you about it later.  Anyway, on the way home, Akane
offered me some cookies she'd cooked.  When I told her that I'd already
eaten she just brushed it off."

     "Akane doesn't get mad every time you do something stupid.  No one
could keep up."   Ryoga's words were light, but inwardly she was
worried.

     "That's not all.  I sorta called her clumsy a couple of times and
she didn't seem to mind at all."  Ranma cut off Ryoga's angry retort.
"I'm worried about her.  Do you think she could be sick or something?"

     "People don't start acting nice because they're sick."  Ranma was
right though.  Akane just didn't act the way that he described.  "Maybe
she's possessed," Ryoga suggested.

     "That's..."  Ranma bit his words off.  It wouldn't be the first
time something like that had happened.  "I still don't think it's very
likely.  There's probably something else wrong.  We need some sort of
plan to check this out."  Ryoga nodded and the two young martial artists
set to work.

==================

     "Your plan isn't working, Saotome."  Soun Tendo glared accusingly
across the shogi board at his long time friend.  "We left Ranma and
Akane alone and they still haven't revealed their true feelings."

     "Nonsense.  Akane has already started to accept the engagement.
The only problem is my ungrateful son.  He didn't even appreciate it
when Akane managed to bake some edible cookies for him."

     "Luckily, you were willing to eat Ranma's share."

     "The path of a true martial artist is one of sacrifice."  Genma
absently wiped a crumb from the corner of his mouth.  "Now all we have
to do is concentrate our efforts on Ranma."

     "Excellent idea!  With Akane cooperating we can't fail."

==================

     "All right, Ryoga, do you understand the plan?"

     "Um, no not exactly," the former boy answered, blinking in the
early morning sunlight.  "Maybe you could go over it again."

     Ranma ground his teeth in frustration.  "We talked this over last
night.  It was even your idea to begin with."  Ranma's eyes suddenly
narrowed in suspicion.  "You're doing this on purpose aren't you?"

     "I was just joking when I said we should see if Akane could get mad
at other people," Ryoga protested.

     "Well it was a good idea.  Now go out there and get Akane mad.  You
do want to find out what's wrong, don't you?"  Ranma began pushing a
fiercely resisting Ryoga towards the door.

     "Yes, but I just can't stand the thought of hurting Akane. The
thought of seeing her in pain is more than my fragile heart can stand."
It might also be more rest of her could stand.  Ryoga hated to admit it,
but Akane could be a bit violent at times.

     "Uh, yeah...  I can see that we're going to have to change the plan
a bit.  Do you think that you can handle making a phone call?"

     "Sure.  Why do you ask?"

     "Cause we're going to get someone who's an expert on making Akane
mad."

==================

     Akane was practicing in the dojo, trying to ease some of the
tension that had built up over the past couple of days.  She never would
have believed that it could take such an effort to be nice to someone.
It was almost as if Ranma was going out of his way to make her angry.
Caught up in her thoughts, Akane didn't hear the dojo door slide open.

     "Akane Tendo, at last we can realize our dreams together.."

    "K-Kuno, what are you doing here?"  The sudden appearance of the
tall kendoist had caught Akane completely  off guard.

     "Your surprise is most puzzling.  Did you think I would not swiftly
answer your desperate summons?  Come now let us-"  Kuno's words were cut
off as he moved to embrace Akane and was intercepted by her fist.

     "Let me explain things to you.  I didn't summon you, I don't want
you hear and the only dreams I have about you are nightmares.  Is that
clear?"

     "Your bashfulness is delightful.  Like a shy and delicate flower
you cannot admit your affection for me."  Akane watched in disbelief as
Kuno reached for her once more.  "And now."

     Outside the dojo, Ranma and Ryoga listened ot the sounds of carnage
emitting from within.  "I guess we can rule out mood altering drugs
now," Ranma said.  Beside him Ryoga nodded in agreement and winced
slightly in sympathy as the noise continued.

     Inside, Akane looked down at Kuno's unconscious body.  She had to
admit that he was a lot better than a stack of bricks for working off
stress.

==================

     Shampoo smiled.  It was still an hour until the beauty pageant
started, but there was no way that Happosai would miss it.  The best
part was that she hadn't had any trouble getting back stage.  Everyone
had assumed that she was one of the contestants.  Of course, without
Ranma watching Shampoo had no reason to enter.  Still it was useful.

     Meanwhile, Tsubasa was revising his approach to women.  To begin
with, he was dressed like a normal boy.  Actually, he was disguised as a
coat rack.  Other than that he was dressed normally and ready for his
introduction into the manly art of peeping.   The Chinese girl looked
familiar and seemed to be a promising place to start.

     "You here something?" Shampoo asked the nearest girl.

     The brunette frowned and replied, "Yeah.  It sounded almost like
someone laughing.  I think it came from over there."

     Seeing the girl pointing in his direction, Tsubasa began edging
towards the door.

==================

     Ranma sat across from Ryoga, thinking about Akane's unusual
behavior.  "I still don't think she's possessed.  I mean, I can believe
a demon or a ghost showing up, but one that makes someone act nice?  You
do have a point though, it's almost like Akane isn't herself."

     Ryoga snorted.  "So what.  We aren't exactly ourselves either."

     "That's it!  Someone must have used that stupid statue to switch
with Akane.  And since Ukyo is the only one besides you who knows that I
have it, it must be her."

     "There are a few problems with that idea, Ranma."

     Ranma waved dismissivly.  "Who cares?  I can find out the truth
with just one question."

     "You're going to go to the Ucchan's and ask?" Ryoga queried.

     "Nah.  That would be to embarrassing if I was wrong.  I have a
better idea."

     Ranma got up and left the room.  As he proceeded downstairs, Ryoga
trailed behind curiously and occasionally corrected his path.  At length
they found Akane and Ranma spoke a question that chilled Ryoga's blood,
although he'd never admit it.

     "Akane, I'm kinda hungry.  Do you think that you could make some
okonomiyaki?"

     "I'd be glad to, Ranma."

==================

     Akane smiled gleefully as she moved around the kitchen.  She should
have known that Ranma would come around.  He'd probably realized how
good the cookies she'd made had tasted and was sorry he hadn't gotten
any.  This time she'd prove to him once and for all that she could cook.

     Some maintain that Akane's cooking would improve if she approached
with the same mind set that she used in martial arts. It should be noted
that the Anything Goes style relies a great deal on improvisation and
unpredictability.  Extending this to cooking meant that not only were
recipes unnecessary, but to be actively avoided. Each dish should be a
unique creation and even when striving for an identical result, the same
ingredients should never be used twice.  Further, cooking usually
required slightly less enthusiasm than demolishing a horde of hormone
crazed boys.

     "Akane, do you need any help?"  Kasumi wore a concerned expression
as she stuck her head into the kitchen.

     "No.  This time everything's going well."  After Kasumi reluctantly
left, Akane began to rummage through the fridge and cupboards.  It
seemed that they were out of bell peppers.   Akane was almost sure that
the recipe called for them.  She'd just have to improvise.
Concentrating  Akane remembered that Kasumi had gotten some peppers
specially for Mr. Saotome after he'd said her cooking was bland.  She
smiled as she rembered the name.  Habenaro peppers, that was it.

==================

     "So, what does it look like in there, Ryoga?" Ranma asked eagerly.

     "I don't know.  Akane wouldn't let me in.  You know it's strange.
She wasn't unfriendly, but it was almost like she didn't trust me."
Ryoga fidgeted nervously.  "The way she was acting seemed sort of
familiar, but I can't quite place it."

     "Don't worry about it.  It's quieted down, I think that she's
finished cooking now."

     Nervously glancing at the entrance to the kitchen, Ryoga asked,
"What are you going to do if you're wrong about her being Ukyo?"

     "I don't know.  Choke down whatever slop she's cooked, I guess."

     "Ranma..."  The beginnings of Ryoga's angry retort were cut off by
a slight coughing sound coming from the doorway.

      "I finished making your okonomiyaki, Ranma."  Akane smiled
nervously, as she presented a slightly charred and lopsided pastry.  "I
know it's not as good as one of Ukyo's."

     A dozen thoughts flashed through Ranma's mind.  How much had she
heard?  Had she suspected from the start and deliberately cooked
inferior food?  Did she know how cute she looked when she smiled like
that?  Ranma pushed his worries aside and reached out to take a bite.

     "Agh!  Water!"  Ranma dashed out of the house in desperate search
of liquid to quench the inferno raging in his mouth.  Realizing what he
intended, Ryoga's face paled and she sprinted after him.

     Akane stared after them, bemused.  "Maybe adding all of the peppers
was a bad idea."

     Outside, Ryoga shook the small black pig angrily.  "Are you
insane?  What if Akane had seen you jumping in the koi pond?"

     "Stop picking on P-chan, Ryoga."

     At the sound on that disapproving voice, Ryoga whirled to see Akane
emerging from the house.  "I wasn't-  I mean-"   Ryoga's voice trailed
off as she utterly failed to think of an explanation.  With a
disconsolate frown, she placed Ranma's cursed form in Akane's
outstretched arms.

     "Did you see where Ranma went, Ryoga?" Akane asked in a concerned
voice.

     Ryoga tried to discreetly block Akane's view of the pile of wet
clothing lying at the edge of the pond.  "No I didn't."

     "He should know better than to run off like that.  He might get
lost."  Turning away from Ryoga, Akane reentered the house.  "Come on,
P-chan, let's wait for Ranma to get back."

==================

    Happosai slowly eased the window open.  It was important to take the
utmost care, since he was probably expected.  There seemed  to be
something  wrong though.  He couldn't quite place it though.  Someone
seemed to be yelling about a pervert and they weren't referring to him.
Ten seconds later, he was ran down by a panicked coat rack, a Chinese
amazon and thirty angry beauty pageant contestants.

     "How dare they?"  Glowing angrily, Happosai set off in pursuit.
He'd teach that coat rack not to abuse the trust of innocent young
girls.  Soon, the distant sound of explosions shook the air.

===================

     When the door to Ucchan's swung open, Ukyo prepared to greet her
customer.  When she saw who it was, her manner underwent an abrupt
change. "What are you doing here, Ryoga?"  Ukyo glowered at the face she
normally saw each morning in the mirror.

     "Ranma found out what made Kiyomi so mad.  I thought you should
know," Ryoga said, defensively.

     "You mean she isn't just crazy?"

     Ryoga sighed.  For some reason seeing Ukyo in Ranma's female body
was vaguely disturbing.  The way Ukyo's traditional chef's uniform fit
certainly didn't help. "I don't know about that.  It turns out Ranma
stood her up for a date, because he was waiting for me to show up for
our duel."

     "What duel was that?"  Ukyo's recent animosity towards Ryoga was
overcome by her curiosity about Ranma's life.  The mention of a possible
girlfriend was also triggering a few alarms.

     "No one told you about the duel?  I suppose it isn't really
important."  As far as  Ryoga was concerned it was just one more
embarrassing episode that she'd like to forget about.

     "Your not getting off that easily.  You knew Ranma at the same time
as Kiyomi, so I might need to know this. Anyway, isn't trying to kill
someone over a date overreacting a bit?"  Ukyo frowned inwardly and
assured herself that things were far different in her case.

     Seeing that she didn't have much choice, Ryoga took a moment to
compose herself.  She had a feeling that Ukyo was going to want a lot
more detail than she was comfortable with.

===================

     Ranma pulled the shirt over his head with a groan of relief.  He
was certainly glad that Ryoga had caches of clothing scattered
throughout the house.  Getting changed back had been hard enough as it
was.  Over half an hour to slip away from Akane and then an hour to
actually find the furo.  Wandering naked through the house would have
been even less pleasant.  Pushing open the door, Ranma was met by an
unexpected sight.

     "Oh, there you are, Ranma.  I wanted to talk to you," Nodoka said.

     Ranma looked nervously at his happily smiling mother.  Since he
came to Nerima, he hadn't had a lot of luck with smiling people.  Or
unhappy people if came to that.  "What about?"

     "I'm concerned with the way you and Akane have been acting towards
one another."

     Ranma grinned in relief.  "You mean you noticed too?  Akane's been
acting really weird for the last couple of days."

     "I'm more concerned about your behavior.  Akane obviously wants to
advance your relationship, but you don't seem to care.  I'm seriously
considering ending the engagement to Akane in favor of Kasumi."

     "What?  You can't!  I mean, you have to be wrong about why Akane's
acting like that," Ranma protested.

     "Maybe I am.  I think you should consider it anyway."  With a final
smile, Nodoka moved past her son.

===================
     "Where have you been, Ryoga?  Do you have any idea how much trouble
I had getting away from Akane?"  Ranma angrily collapsed onto his futon
and glared up at Ryoga.

     "Well yes, I do.  I decided to go see Ukyo and tell her about
Kiyomi.  There really wasn't anything I could do here."

     "I guess that makes sense," Ranma reluctantly conceded.  "We still
have to find out what's wrong with Akane though.

    "Are you sure it isn't anything that you did?"

     "I don't think so.  I haven't treated Akane any differently.  In
fact the only thing that's changed is..."

     "What is it, Ranma?" Ryoga asked, concerned at the suddenly
stricken expression on his friends face.

     "The only difference is that I'm in your body," Ranma whispered.

     Ryoga froze in shock and then a moment later began laughing
hysterically while Ranma watched.

End Chapter Seven


Chapter 8: Happy Day

     "What are you laughing about?" Ranma angrily demanded.

     Ryoga stopped her laughter with an effort.  "Don't you get it?  I
just can't win.  You know, my life really sucks."

     Ranma's belligerence faded after a moment.  "Yeah.  I can
understand why you'd be unhappy about this.  But, what're we gonna do
about it?"

     "Just keep trying to get switched back, I guess.  We don't even
know if you're right."

     Ranma frowned, unwilling to accept that answer, but unable to think
of anything better.  He was going to have to do something though,
otherwise his newly mended friendship with Ryoga could be ruined.  This
was going to take some thought.

==================

     Ukyo hummed merrily as she scrubbed down the grill.  Business had
been slow today, but she was starting to feel like she had things under
control.  The discussion she'd had with Ryoga had been quite
informative.  She stopped humming when she heard the door rattle. She
hurried to open the door, it looked like she was about to have another
discussion.

     "Shampoo, what happened to you?"  Ukyo exclaimed in shock.  The
normally perky amazon was a sorry sight, her hair and clothing
disheveled and generally looking as if she'd been caught in an
explosion.  It was her downcast expression that seemed the most out of
place, however.

     "Shampoo failure," she announced.  "Not get statue back from
Happosai."

     As Ukyo watched the depressed girl slump down on one of the stools
by the counter, a thought occurred to her.  "Say, did anyone tell you
that Ryoga and Ranma took the statue?"

     "You mean Shampoo spend all day chasing Happosai and pervert coat
rack for nothing?"

     "I suppose so."  Ukyo would have asked about the coat rack, but she
had a feeling she already knew.  "Does this mean that you've been
spending all your time looking for Happosai instead of trying to figure
out how to use the statue?"

     Shampoo shook her head wearily.  "Already found out how.  Can only
be used on same people once a week.  Person's spirit needs time before
it can stand another transfer."

     Ukyo swiftly did the math in her head.  "Then we can be switched
back tomorrow night."

     "That right."

     Ukyo smiled broadly.  "Then there's no need to tell the boys right
now.  You can just stay here tonight and switch us back later."

     "Ukyo right.  They deserve to worry for stealing from Shampoo."

=================

     Ukyo tugged the collar of his uniform uncomfortably.  He silently
wished that he'd borrowed some clothes that fit Ranma's male body.
Ukyo's usual boy's uniform fit passably well, but it was just tight
enough to be uncomfortable.  It also seemed a bit drab compared to
Ranma's usual attire.  Still, if Ukyo was going to get Kiyomi to leave
him alone, he needed to be a guy to talk to her.  It didn't look like
he'd have to wait for the talk either.  Kiyomi was leaning against the
gate to Furinkan, holding that spear of hers.  She didn't seem to see
Ukyo, probably because there were dozens of identically dressed boys
entering the school.

     "Kiyomi, we need to talk."  As far as Ukyo could see the direct
approach would probably be the best.  Catching her off balance might be
useful as well.

     "About what?"  Kiyomi's voice was just short of a snarl and the tip
of spear had shifted to point directly at Ukyo.

     Kiyomi was, Ukyo reflected, not quite as surprised as he'd hoped.
Ukyo tensed and prepared to grab the concealed flour bomb she'd
brought.  "Listen, this whole thing is a big misunderstanding.  I didn't
even realize that you wanted to go on a date with me."

     "That's easy to say now," Kiyomi retorted.  "Do you have any idea
how I suffered?  Any idea how I felt when the other girls said I'd never
be able to get a boy friend?"

     Ukyo bit back the first half dozen responses that rose to his
lips.  "If they thought that they're idiots.  There are lots of guys
that would be happy to date you."

    "You really think so?" Kiyomi asked.

    "I do.  In fact, I'd be happy to date you myself."  As soon as he
spoke, Ukyo froze in disbelief.  The fact that he'd attained an
unprecedented insight into Ranma's life didn't offer any comfort.

     "I'd be happy to date you too."

     Trapped by circumstances Ukyo found himself  speaking.  "That's
nice."

     "So, I'll see you tonight then."

     Ukyo nodded numbly and then walked past Kiyomi and into the school.
For some reason the whole situation seemed strangely familiar.

==================

     "Hey.  There's Ranma talking with Kiyomi.  I guess he's got that
mess straightened out."  Ranma felt a bit strange referring to Ukyo by
his own name, but since they were in public he didn't have much choice.

     "I'm sure that he has."  Akane smiled her agreement and moved
slightly closer so that her hand almost brushed against Ranma's.

     Ranma fought down the urge to jerk away and tried to ignore the
sound of Ryoga's teeth grinding.  He had the feeling that this was going
to be a long day.  he was just glad that Ukyo hadn't seen how Akane was
acting.

==================

     Ranma shuddered and tried to push himself deeper into his seat.
The way that Akane kept smiling when she looked at him was bad enough,
in fact it seemed almost unnatural.  Ryoga's angry glare was nothing
more than what Ranma expected, but Ukyo's reaction had him worried.
She'd been very quiet since classes started and had left as soon as
class let out for lunch.

     "I hope you enjoy your lunch, Ranma.  I helped Kasumi make it."
The saccharine tone Akane used made her teeth ache.  The effort was
worth it though, Ranma had started to treat her better.

      "Oh man, I hope this doesn't poison me," Ranma prayed.  He
flinched moments later when the edges of Ryoga's desk cracked audibly.

     "I'm sure it won't.  Kasumi did most of the work and my cooking has
been getting better."  Akane reminded herself that the effort was worth
it.

     "You don't have to eat it if you don't want to.  Akane isn't the
only person who made lunch for you."

     The voice was very familiar to Ranma, and very unwelcome.  Dreading
the sight, he turned to see a still damp and obviously female Ukyo,
holding a freshly cooked okonomiyaki out to him.  "What do you think
you're doing?" Ranma hissed.

     "If you don't want it I'm sure I could find someone else who will.
I
think Kuno would really appreciate my cooking."

     Ranma shrugged and decided that there was only one thing that he
could do.  Eat both lunches.  After all, things could hardly get any
worse.

==================

     Shampoo busied herself preparing Ucchan's for the after school
rush.  Since Ukyo had told her what had happened to the statue, she
found herself truly relaxed for the first time in days.  It was a
feeling that would abandon her moments later when a fuming Ukyo stormed
through the door.

     "Aiyah!  What the matter Ukyo?"

     "Testosterone kills brain cells," Ukyo snarled.

     "Shampoo know that.  Is ancient amazon secret.  But, that not
explain why Ukyo upset."

     "I got Kiyomi to stop trying to kill Ranma or more importantly me,
but now she wants to date me," Ukyo explained.

     "Shampoo doesn't know who you talk about, but is no problem.
Explain you have beautiful, intelligent and strong amazon wife.  Then
when you switch back, she not chase Ranma."  Shampoo smiled, obviously
proud of her solution.

     "That's not a bad idea, Shampoo," Ukyo grudgingly admitted.  "We
can talk to Kiyomi and then get the statue.  I've got to tell you, I'll
be really happy when I get my own body back."

     "Shampoo be happy too.  Shampoo want Ranma in real body and Ukyo
almost like real amazon, remind Shampoo of home."

     The two girls sat silently together for a moment until Ukyo spoke.
"Did we just bond or something?"

     "Shampoo not tell anyone."

     "Deal.  There's something I've been meaning to ask you Shampoo,"
Ukyo said hesitantly.  "Why does Mousse want to challenge me?  There's
no way I'm going to marry him just because of some law and he wants you
anyway."

     "Mousse know you not accept marriage.  Under amazon law Shampoo
married to anyone that Ukyo married.  Ranma's claim still come first
but..."  Shampoo's voice trailed off, leaving her explanation
incomplete.

     "If Ranma refuses, then it's Mousse's turn," Ukyo said, completing
Shampoo's sentence.

     The amazon nodded, but Ukyo barely noticed, already lost in
thought.  She definitely had a lot to consider.

==================

     Ryoga absentmindedly twisted, allowing the blow to slide past her
head.  After she'd gotten back from school, she'd headed for the dojo to
work off the frustrations of the day.  For a moment it had looked like
things were getting better, when Akane had asked to join her.  That idea
had been rapidly disproven.   It had started off well enough, but Akane
had soon become frustrated by Ryoga's improvement since their last
sparring match.

     "Stand still and fight," Akane challenged.

     Grunting slightly from the effort, Ryoga caught an ax kick on her
crossed arms.  Even at the best of times, Ryoga didn't have Ranma's
defensive abilities.  That left only one option, to keep Akane on the
defensive long enough to tire her out.  The hard part would be doing it
without hurting her.  Akane was a lot more skilled than some people gave
her credit for.

==================

     Nabiki stood in front of the door to Ranma's room, indecision
faintly evident in her expression.  She hated to admit it, but something
was going on and for once Nabiki had no idea what it was.  Akane was
being nice to Ranma, Ranma was acting like she was contagious, Mrs.
Saotome was trying to switch the engagement to Kasumi and Ryoga was back
to her obsessive training routine. Yes, she definitely needed answers.
Mustering her resolve, Nabiki raised her hand to knock on the door and
then hesitated.  Lowering her arm, she pushed the door open and entered
the room.

     Nabiki smirked slightly as Ranma scrambled to conceal a small
object that he was holding.  "Am I interrupting anything, Ranma?"

     "No.  No you're not," Ranma hastily replied.  Calming himself
slightly, Ranma spoke, "What do you want, Nabiki?"

     "Oh, I just want to ask a few questions about you and Akane."
Nabiki casually took a seat on the futon beside Ranma and waited for his
response.

     "It isn't any of your business."  Ranma glared defiantly at Nabiki,
with just a hint of nervousness lurking in his eyes.

     "Of course it's my business.  Akane's my sister and for some reason
she likes you.  There's something that the two of you are hiding and I
wonder if it's ...  THIS!"  With a triumphant cry, Nabiki's hand darted
behind the futon and she pulled back the object Ranma had hidden there.
Opening her hand Nabiki blinked in surprise at the dull black figurine
that she was holding.

     "Give that back!"  There was a rush of air and the statue seemed to
vanish from Nabiki's hand and reappear in Ranma's.

      Recovering from her surprise, Nabiki asked, "That's the statue
that caused the switch, isn't it?  I thought Shampoo had it."

     "She did.  I wanted to try using it myself," Ranma muttered.

     Meanwhile Nabiki was thinking.  She'd just been playing a hunch
when she'd grabbed the statue, but it looked like she might been closer
to the mark than she'd known.  It was obvious that the change would be
involved somehow, now that she thought of it.  "I'm not surprised you
didn't have any luck."

     "What are you talking about?  I remember exactly what Happosai said
when he used the statue," Ranma said defensively.

     "I suppose you think that's all there is to it.  Just say the magic
words and it works?"

     "That's all Happosai did.  Anything Goes Secret Technique: Ghostly
Spirit Switch."  Ranma's hand tightened into a fist as he recited the
words and he barely heard the faint click as his thumb pressed down.  He
was too busy staring at the thick pink and purple smoke pouring out from
the statue.

=================

     "I'm going to kill you!"  As the shouted death threat rang through
the Tendo's home, Akane's body tensed..  That had almost sounded like
Ryoga was back in her own body, but Akane had finished sparring with her
only minutes before.  Any further speculation was cut off as Nabiki
barreled down the stairs and slammed into Akane, almost knocking her off
her feet.

     "You've gotta help me, Akane."

     "Help you with what?"  Whatever Nabiki's problem was it had to be
serious, Akane decided.  Her speech was really slipping.

     In response, Nabiki pointed wordlessly up the stairs and scooted
behind Akane.

     "Oh."  Looking at Ranma's livid face, Akane could honestly say that
she'd never seen him so angry.  Remembering her resolution to treat
Ranma better and realizing that it probably would be best not to provoke
Ranma further, Akane decided to try to reason with him.  "I know that
Nabiki can cause a lot of trouble at times, Ranma, but I'm sure she
didn't mean any harm."

     Ranma started to open his mouth and then stopped and visibly calmed
himself.  "I'm Nabiki.  Ranma used Happosai's statue to switch our
bodies."

     Akane looked back over her shoulder at the girl hiding behind her.
"Is that true?"

     "It wasn't my fault."

     "I don't believe this."  Akane resists the urge to grind her teeth
in frustration.  "Why don't you two just calm down.  If Ranma did this
he should be able to reverse it.  I'll go get Ryoga.  This does concern
him as well."

==================

     "I don't think this is a good idea."  Ryoga stared suspiciously at
the small statue Ranma was holding.

     "You do want to get your own body back, don't you?"

     "Sure.  I just don't think that you or Akane should be in the room
when we try it.  In fact, we should probably talk to Shampoo before
anyone should tries to use it. "

     "Hey!  I was the one who figured out how to use it, not Shampoo,"
Ranma said indignantly.

     "And it worked so well too."  Ranma flushed slightly under Nabiki's
glare.  The middle Tendo daughter wasn't taking the switch well.

     "Um, I guess that waiting a bit couldn't hurt," Ranma reluctantly
admitted.  Balancing the statue on the palm of her hand, Ranma gazed
thoughtfully at it.  Her preoccupation was probably a major reason she
didn't see Happosai enter the room.

     "Thanks for holding this for me.  I have plans for it though."
Pausing only briefly, to grope Ranma's breasts, the wizened pervert
grabbed the statue and bounded out of the room.

==================

     Mousse seethed inwardly.  He'd gone to Ucchan's to deliver his
challenge to Ukyo, but what he'd found was far worse than anything he'd
expected.  Just as he'd arrived, Shampoo and Ranma had left the
building, talking softly together.  Remaining unseen, he'd decided to
follow them and had soon realized that the were heading towards the
Tendos'.  Mousse's frown deepened further, there was another girl
waiting at the entrance.

     Ukyo took a deep breath to steady himself.  This wasn't going to be
easy.  On one hand, he was planning to crush a young girl's heart.  On
the other hand, Kiyomi was a dangerously unstable and would probably try
to kill him again.  "Kiyomi, you're  a nice girl, but there's already
someone that I love."  Ukyo hesitated, the stricken expression on
Kiyomi's face nearly stopping him.

     "Saotome, die!"  All rational thought erased by the words he'd just
heard Ranma speak, Mousse sprang to the attack, producing a set of long
metal claws.

     Spinning, Ukyo froze in surprise as he saw, Mousse plummeting out
of the sky towards him.  The split second that it took Ukyo to realize
that Mousse was talking to him, might have resulted in Ukyo's end if two
other events hadn't happened almost simultaneously.  First, Kiyomi
shoved Ukyo out of Mousse's path.  Secondly, as Mousse landed, Happosai
burst out of the Tendo's, bounced off of Mousse's head and continued
onward.

      "Stop you old freak!  Shi Shi Hokodan!"  The emerald blast of
energy slammed into Mousse and sent him flying,  but Ryoga didn't slow
in her forward charge.  Knocking  Kiyomi to the ground, she leapt after
Happosai.  A moment later, Shampoo and Ukyo followed.

End Chapter 8.

Chapter 9:

     Shampoo cursed softly in Chinese as she hurried after Happosai and
Ryoga.  It was taking all her speed not to fall further behind.  Ukyo
was gaining slightly, but having Ranma's body was a definite advantage.
Shampoo only had one choice but that didn't mean that she had to like
it.  "Oh no, Shampoo's bra slip!"

     Ahead, Happosai abruptly reversed directions, bounced over Ryoga's
desperate attempt to grab him and sailed towards Shampoo on a parabolic
arc.  "Don't worry, Happy will fix it!"

     Shampoo smiled as she saw that Happosai had the statue clutched in
his hand.  It would have been really embarrassing if she'd been wrong
about why Ryoga was chasing him.  As it was, Happosai made an abrupt
reversal of direction when he met Shampoo's fist.  Moving swiftly, she
snatched the statue out of the air and tucked it away.

     "It was worth it!"  Shampoo looked up to see Happosai's form fly
off into the distance, trailing a white object from one hand.  Shampoo
flushed angrily, she'd thought that the little pervert hadn't managed to
get anywhere near her.

==================

     Nabiki frowned, getting trapped in Ryoga's body was bad enough, but
now Happosai had stolen her only way to get changed back.  Stepping
through the same door that Happosai and Ryoga had rushed through moments
earlier, Nabiki almost tripped over a girl sprawled on the ground.  "Are
you all right, Kiyomi?"  The minuscule pause while Nabiki searched for
the girl's name was almost unnoticeable.

     "I'm fine, Ryoga.  Thanks for asking."

     Reaching down, Nabiki took her hand and effortlessly pulled her to
her feet.  "So, what brings you here, tonight?"  Despite the
circumstances, the chance to learn more about the latest complication in
Ranma's life was to good to pass up.

     Kiyomi blushed slightly and looked away.  "I came to see Ranma.  He
asked me out, but he already has a girlfriend.  I never should have
given him another chance," she muttered.

     Nabiki blinked in shock.  He'd come to expect this sort of thing
from Ranma, but it was a real surprise from Ukyo.  "There are a few
things you probably don't know about Ranma.  You'd be better off with
some other guy."

     "Do you really think so?"

     Warning bells began to ring in Nabiki's mind.  He'd been a guy for
less than an hour, but already he knew that the expression on Kiyomi's
face couldn't be good news.  Before he could decide what to do, matters
moved further out of his control as Shampoo bounded back into the
Tendos' yard, followed by Ukyo and Ryoga.

     "Shampoo get statue back from pervert, Airen.  See?"  Nabiki
flinched as Shampoo grabbed hold of him with one arm and thrust the
statue into his face with the other.

     "We'd better talk about that Shampoo."  Nabiki tried to disengage
himself from the bouncy amazon without success and then decided to
simply head back to the house and explain things there.

     With a shrug, Ryoga followed Nabiki inside, leaving Ukyo and Kiyomi
alone.

      "I'll talk to you later," Ukyo said nervously.  "I've got to take
care of something inside."  Before Kiyomi could respond, Ukyo darted
past her.

==================

     Nabiki shifted awkwardly as he watched Shampoo seat herself.  Ryoga
was already lounging comfortably on the floor and Ukyo had apparently
forgotten that he was in Ranma's male form.  At least Nabiki thought
that he was sitting just a bit to close.  He could see Ranma hovering in
the entrance to the living room looking distinctly uncomfortable. "Why
don't you come in and sit down Ranma?"

     "Why you say that?  You is Ranma, yes?"  Shampoo tilted her head to
one side as inspected Nabiki carefully.

     "Not exactly.  Your boyfriend had a little accident with the
statue."  Nabiki nodded in Ranma's direction and watched as she
nervously entered the room.

     "Aiyah!  This very bad."  Ukyo apparently agreed because he tried
to inconspicuously inch farther from Nabiki.

     Nabiki struggled to remain calm.  "Why?  You got the statue back
from Happosai and it obviously still works.  Ranma and I should be able
to switch back easily."

     Shampoo shook her head vigorously.  "Using statue place very great
stress on person's spirit.  Have to wait week before can use again."

     "What?  I'm going to be stuck in your body for a week?"

     Nabiki would have found the indignation in Ranma's voice amusing if
the situation hadn't struck so close to home.  "I'm not any happier
about this than you are, Ranma."  Nabiki paused considering the
situation.  "I suppose that Ukyo is going to want to switch back into
her own body right away."  At Ukyo's nod, Nabiki continued, "That would
mean that Ryoga would wind up in Ranma's body."

     "I guess you'll be pretty happy about that, Ryoga," Ranma said
bitterly.

     "Hey, this isn't my fault.  Besides, I don't see much difference."

     "What do you mean by that?" Ukyo cut in.

     "Shampoo think everyone should be quiet.  Ukyo and Pig-boy use
statue
to switch and then Shampoo put statue in safe place."

     "You do that.  I'd better explain this to Dad.  Akane's running
interference, but I don't know how long that will last."  Seeing no
signs of disagreement, Nabiki rose and prepared to leave.

     The others sat for a moment, and then Ranma stood reluctantly.  "I
guess I'd better go after her before she gets to far."  With that, Ranma
headed outside in search of Nabiki.  Behind her, Shampoo handed the
troublesome figurine to Ukyo and gave instructions for its use.

================

     Entering the living room, Nabiki saw an obviously flustered  Akane
trying to comfort her father, while a Panda happily rearranged shogi
pieces behind them.  It didn't look like there was anything to gain by
delaying, so Nabiki decided to take the direct approach.  "Dad, I have
something to tell you."

     "Wah!  My baby girl's been turned into a boy," the Tendo patriarch
wailed.

     Nabiki winced and shot a helpless glance at Akane.  "I take it you
already told him."

     "I had to.  Since Happosai has the statue there's no way for you
and Ranma to switch back."

     "Shampoo got the statue  back, but Ranma and I won't be able to use
it again for another week."

     "Shampoo?  What else happened?"

     "Not much.  Ryoga and Ukyo switched bodies and Mousse showed up.
Oh yeah, that Kiyomi girl was there as well."

     "In the last fifteen minutes?  That sounds like a lot."  Akane
glanced over at her father.  "Maybe you should tell Dad that you're all
right."

     #Yes. It's his move,# Genma signed.

     "It's all right, Daddy.  I'll be back in my own body in just a few
days."

=================

     Ranma gazed at the scene in front of her in irritation.  She didn't
really care that Ryoga was inhabiting her body, but this definitely
crossed the line. "Ryoga, why are you packing?"

     "Why do you think, Ranma?  Nabiki's bound to discover my curse, and
when she does she'll tell Akane."

     "I don't think that she will.  Besides, you can't just take off in
my body," Ranma argued.

     "Why wouldn't she tell Akane.  They'll both probably think I'm some
kind of pervert," Ryoga said bitterly, as he tried to stuff another
shirt into his pack.

     Ranma bit back the obvious retort that rose to her lips.  After
all, she was trying to persuade Ryoga to stay.  "I'm sure that Nabiki
will wait until after she's in her own body to tell Akane.  She wants to
get switched back as much as we do."  "In fact," Ranma continued, his
spirits rising, "this gives us a chance to persuade her not to tell
Akane at all."

     "I'll wait and see, but I'm not taking any chances," Ryoga said, as
he continued to pack.

==================

     "Ukyo happy to have right body, yes?"

     Ukyo and Shampoo had closed Ucchan's early and were quietly
celebrating Ukyo's good fortune.  It wasn't exactly the company that
Ukyo would have chosen, but Ranma didn't feel like celebrating at the
moment.  "I sure am," Ukyo confirmed.  "Although, I've got to admit that
having Ranma's body to myself did have it's good points."

     "Shampoo can see that.  Shampoo be happy when everything back to
normal, though."

     "You and me both.  I'm not sure I remember what normal feels
like."  Ukyo frowned as something occurred to her.  "Do you know what
happened to Mousse?  I didn't see him after we got back from chasing
Happosai."

     "Shampoo not know.  Mousse not give up easy though."

     "That's what I was afraid of.  Maybe I should start training more.
It doesn't look like our plan with Ryoga will work."

     "Training good idea.  Shampoo help."

     "I've got a few ideas as well."

==================

     Mousse trailed silently behind the short haired girl.  He was
already regretting his decision to leave the tribe, and not just because
it meant he couldn't stay at the Nekohanten.  His perfect plan had
turned into a disaster worse than his darkest nightmare.  Ranma had said
that he loved Shampoo and Ukyo had apparently learned a powerful
technique. Mousse knew that he needed to find an ally and he needed to
know what had happened while he was away.

     "Excuse me, Miss."  Fortunately, it looked like he could accomplish
both goals at once.  "I'd like to talk to you for a moment."

     At the sound of the quiet voice behind her, Kiyomi spun around.
Seeing the person who'd spoken she relaxed slightly.  "I'm over here."
At the sound of her voice, the boy turned away from the street sign he'd
been speaking to and pushed his glasses down off of his forehead.

     "Pardon me.  I sometimes have trouble with my eyesight.  I saw you
talking with Ranma and Shampoo and I was wondering if I could talk to
you about them."

     "You're that boy that attacked Ranma, aren't you."  Kiyomi
considered the boy in front of her.  His long hair and the white robe he
was wearing were a bit unusual.  He definitely had cute eyes, though.

     "Yes, I am Mousse, the future husband of Shampoo," the Chinese boy
announced with stunning disregard for the facts.

     "I'm Kiyomi Matsumara.  Shampoo is the girl who was with Ranma?"
Kiyomi asked.

     "Well, yes."

     "Doesn't she have any shame at all?"

     "What do you mean by that?"  Mousse bristled at the casual insult
to his beloved Shampoo.

     "She is seeing three guys at one time, if what you say is true."

     "Three?   You mean Ukyo?"

     "No.  She was flirting with Ryoga.  And just five minutes after
Ranma said he loved her," Kiyomi replied indignantly.

     Mousse and Kiyomi would both learn a great deal in the following
conversation.  However, the accuracy of that information was open to
debate.

=================

     Nabiki smiled softly to himself.  It was true that he'd been angry
at first, but that emotion had quickly been replaced by the growing
realization that there had to be a way to turn this situation to his
advantage.  So far Nabiki hadn't been able to think of much, but there
was definite potential.  A nice relaxing soak in the furo would be the
perfect way to come up with some ideas.

     Before rinsing himself off to enter the furo, Nabiki paused to
inspect his temporary body.  Being a guy was still mostly weird, but he
could tell that Ryoga's training had really paid off.   Maybe he could
pose for some photos and then sell them later.  Shelving the idea for
future consideration, Nabiki raised the bucket and let the cool water
pour over his head.  He shuddered involuntarily as dizziness swept over
him and the bucket clattered to the ground.

     Blinking to clear his head, Nabiki was at first puzzled.  The room
seemed to have become much larger and for some reason he was on all
fours.  Realization dawning, he examined his body once more.  Various
features made themselves clear.  He had four legs, hooves, a tail and
Ryoga's bandanna appeared to have shifted location to form a makeshift
collar.  The facts were clear.  Ryoga had a Jusenkyo curse, and was in
fact Akane's pet pig.  Pigs aren't normally capable of maniacal
laughter, but Nabiki came surprisingly close.

=================

     Ryoga ate nervously, acutely aware of the tension around him.
Breakfast this morning was certainly different.  The Tendo family seemed
to be trying to ignore the entire situation with varying degrees of
success.  The fact that Nabiki still hadn't made an appearance probably
helped, but Akane refused to look in Ranma's direction and her father
would burst into tears at random intervals.  The Saotomes on the other
hand were coping quite well.

     "Ranma, try to slow down.  Eating so quickly isn't ladylike."  In
some cases a little to well,  at least as far as Ryoga was concerned.

     "Just as soon as Pop stops stealing my food."

     "Genma, let our daughter eat in peace."

     "Ranma, Ryoga, I think that we should go somewhere and talk."

     Ryoga winced at the voice behind him.  It was one that he'd heard
his entire life, but it had never before sounded so sinister.
Wordlessly, he rose to follow Nabiki.

=================

     "I'm glad that you two are being so cooperative," Nabiki said
quietly, as Ranma and Ryoga seated themselves.

     "I suppose you found out about..."

     "Your little curse?  Yes, I did.  But you don't have to worry about
me telling anyone about it."

     "I don't?"

     "That's right.  After all, you're going to help me a lot."

     "You're blackmailing Ryoga," Ranma exclaimed in disgust, although
without surprise.

     "No, I'm blackmailing Ranma and the best thing is that I won't have
to stop when you get your body back.  It doesn't look like you want
Ryoga's curse revealed either."  Nabiki's sly grin looked strangely out
of place on Ryoga's face.

      "Hey!  You can't do that.  It's Ryoga's secret," Ranma protested.

      Nabiki shrugged.  "Sorry.  I guess life just isn't fair.  If it
makes you feel better I'll blackmail him as well."

     "Thanks, Ranma."

      "Now that we have that settled, there are some other things that
we have to talk about.  There's no way that Ranma can take my classes
without someone figuring out that something's wrong.  So he'll have to
be sick for the next few days."

     "I will?  That's great!"  Ranma's momentary grin disappeared as
something occurred to him.  "Don't you have to show some kind of proof
that you're sick?"

      "Don't worry.  I've thought of everything."

      Ranma and Ryoga both wondered why hearing that gave them such a
bad feeling.  Ignoring their nervous expressions, Nabiki continued, "Now
this is what you have to say, Ranma...."

=================

     Ranma walked uncertainly towards Nabiki's classroom.  It wasn't
being a girl or wearing a school uniform that bothered her.  It wasn't
even feeling so slow and awkward, although that didn't help.   It was
that she was  supposed to be impersonating someone that she knew next to
nothing about.  Ranma realized that she didn't even know if Nabiki had
friends and couldn't think of anyone in the same class, other than
Kuno.  At least he wouldn't have to keep things up for long.

    Almost walking past Nabiki's classroom, Ranma turned sharply and
entered.  Without pausing, she quickly walked over to the teacher's desk
and halted in front of it.  "Mr. Hamada..."

     As Ranma's voice trailed off, the middle aged, bespectacled teacher
looked up.  "What is it Miss Tendo?"

    "I'm afraid that I won't be able to attend class for several days."

    "I trust that you have a reason for this announcement," the teacher
prompted.

     "I've come down with a case of lycanthropy."

     "You're a werewolf?  Somehow I find...  This has something to do
with Saotome, doesn't it?"  Mr. Hamada had always considered most of the
stories about Ranma and the group of teens that surrounded him to be
exaggerations.  That was before he'd started to share the staff room
with a ten year old.  It was definitely before he'd been roped into
chaperoning the last school dance.

     "Yes.  You see, his father sold him to this old gypsy witch and..."

     "Never mind.  You can  leave now."  As he settled back into his
chair, Mr. Hamada absentmindedly waved the girl standing before him out
of the room.  It was times like this that he wished he'd accepted that
job over in Juban.

=================

    "Will you relax, Akane.  This isn't the end of the world.  In fact,
it's sort of nice to in the same class as you," Nabiki allowed.

     Akane looked over at the rather masculine form of her sister
walking beside her.  "I suppose so.  It's just that I was finally
starting to get along with Ranma."

     "I suppose that things are a bit inconvenient for you.  Is that
Kuno waiting by the gates?"

     "I think that it is.  You'd better let me handle this Nabiki."

     "I can take care of this myself.  And remember to call me Ryoga."

      Akane watched for a moment as Nabiki walked confidently towards
Kuno and then began to hurry in the same direction.

End Chapter 9.


Chapter 10: Things Fall Apart

     Kuno stared at the advancing figure, and readied his bokken.  This
time he was sure he would vanquish the foul sorcerer that held his loves
in thrall.  Charging forward, he lashed out landing a solid blow to his
bandanna wearing opponent's chest.  Blinking in surprise, Kuno stumbled
to a halt.   "I won?" he asked, starring down at the person sprawled at
his feet.

     Carefully hiding a smirk, Nabiki clambered to his feet.  "Yes, I've
been defeated by the better fighter."  In the background, Akane rolled
her eyes, and several other people stared incredulously at the strange
turn of events.

     "Then you renounce your claim on Akane and the pig-tailed girl?"
Kuno asked in a menacing tone.

     "I have no more claim on either of them than they desire."  As
Nabiki spoke, he knew that Kuno would interpret that as acquiescence.
"There's something that you need to know," Nabiki said hurriedly.  "The
pig-tailed girl isn't under enchantment, she's possessed by an evil
spirit.  The only way to free her is to defeat it in combat."

     "I see.  I will attend to this at once."  Kuno turned to stalk off,
but then paused.  "Let us celebrate our love first, Akane Tendo," he
cried, reversing his earlier course.

     "Idiot."  Akane deftly sidestepped his attempt to grab her, and
then punted him off into the distance.  "That was your plan?"

     "It worked didn't it? " Nabiki replied smugly.  "You just have
understand how Kuno thinks."

     "I'm not sure I want to.  Why did you tell him Ranma was
possessed?"

      "He needs someone to blame.  This way he'll go after someone who
can handle him."

      "I suppose so.  Ryoga's not going to be happy about losing to Kuno
though."

      "Don't worry, I can handle him.  Now let's get to class."

      You're going the wrong way.  Just follow me, all right?"

=================

    "I think we need a scorecard," Hiroshi said.

     "Huh?  What do you mean?"  Daisuke leaned back in his desk, in an
attempt to hear his friend better.

     "Well first it was Ranma and Akane.  Then Ryoga showed up, and he
and Ranma started dating.  That was about the same time that Ukyo and
Shampoo started up."

     "I think that they were just going to share Ranma," Daisuke
interrupted.

     "Well, maybe.  Anyway, that was weird, but I knew what was going
on.  Then it looks like Akane and Ryoga have something going and Ranma
and Ukyo are jealous.  Ranma I can understand, but why would Ukyo care?
Only now it looks like neither of them care."

      "Definitely strange.  Maybe Ranma's hooked up with Shampoo and
Ukyo?"

    "I don't know, but I'm going to find out."  Hiroshi rose out of his
seat and started to casually stroll over to where Ryoga was sitting.
"Hey, Ryoga."

     Nabiki blinked distractedly as he heard someone call him by someone
else's name.  "Wha...  Oh, it's you, Hiroshi."

     "Yeah.  I was just wondering what's up with you and Akane."

     "Me and...  Life had certainly become interesting lately," Nabiki
reflected.  "We're just friends.  In fact, you could say she's like a
sister to me. "  Nabiki was distracted as Ms. Hinako entered the room,
and before he could speak again Hiroshi was hurrying back to his seat.

=================

     Ranma smiled faintly as she walked back towards the Tendos'.  She
still wasn't happy with the situation, but it did have at least one good
point.  Ranma barely refrained from whistling as she stepped through the
front door.  "I'm back, everyone!"

     "Shouldn't you be in school now Ranma?" his mother asked in a
disapproving tone.

     "I couldn't take Nabiki's classes because she's a year ahead of
me.  I guess I'll just have to take a week off school."  Ranma looked
around curiously.  "Where is everyone anyway?"

     "At school mostly.  Your father left for his job, and Kasumi is
upstairs cleaning.  I really don't know where Soun is, he left quite
suddenly."

     "Oh yeah, I sort of forgot about that.  Well, I'm going to..."
Ranma paused, normally she'd go work out in the dojo, or go spar with
her father.  There didn't seem to be much point in either option right
now.

     "You can help me finish the dishes from breakfast.  We haven't
talked much, and it will give us a chance to discuss things."

     "Sure, just give me a chance to get out of this uniform."  Ranma
shrugged inwardly as she went up the stairs.  This wouldn't have been
her first choice, but it would be nice to spend time with her mom.

=================

     The click of a lock opening caught Shampoo's attention and she
emerged from the back room just in time to see a robed figure quietly
close the door behind him.

     "What Mousse doing here?"

     The bespectacled Chinese boy adjusted his glasses.  "I may have
left the tribe, but the mummy let me keep my job here.  Besides," he
added smugly,  "I won't be an outsider for long."

     "Shampoo think you wrong about that.  It not matter now anyway,
Shampoo have to leave now."  Holding her head high, the young amazon
walked past Mousse, and out the front doors.

     As Mousse watched her leave, he struggled to control his emotions.
He wondered why she couldn't see that he was the only one that really
loved her.  Instead, she was obviously going of to warn Ukyo.   Mousse
told himself it didn't matter, he knew far more of  what was happening
than she suspected.  His conversation with Kiyomi had been surprisingly
informative, and even he'd heard rumors that the infamous Happosai had
stolen some treasure from the village.  People weren't acting like
themselves, and he knew why.

     Furtively opening the door to Shampoo's room, Mousse had his
suspicions confirmed.  Stacked neatly around the room were volumes of
amazon lore and even more esoteric information.  Seizing a book off the
top of one pile, Mousse flipped it open to a conveniently bookmarked
page.  Despite himself, he smiled.  This was information that could
prove very useful.

=================

     Shampoo was far from her usual lighthearted self, as she rode her
bicycle towards Furinkan High.  From past experience she knew that Ranma
would be eating lunch, but she couldn't take advantage of that
information.  Not unless she was willing to attract a great deal of
attention.  Arriving on the school grounds, Shampoo caught sight of a
familiar pigtailed form pummeling Kuno, who was displaying an unusual
degree of resilience.

     "Hello, Airen.  What stupid stick-boy do now?"

     Through an effort of will, Ukyo stopped herself from flinching when
Shampoo's bike landed only inches away.  "I'm not sure.  He just started
raving about a demon enslaving the pigtailed girl, and attacked Ryoga.
I think the spirit wards and incense bothered Ryoga more than the
attack."

     Shampoo watched as Ryoga gracefully avoided a series of slashing
blows from Kuno, and then retaliated with a spin kick that momentarily
stunned his opponent.  Seconds later, a flurry of punches to Kuno's
vital points finally put him out of the fight.  She was mildly
impressed.  To the untrained eye, Ryoga's performance would have seemed
identical to Ranma's usual style.  Still, Kuno was hardly a true
challenge.  "Shampoo have news about Mousse."

     "Well, I didn't think that you'd just happened to be in the area.
What's he up to now."  As she spoke, Ukyo guided Shampoo behind a tree.
With the fight over, people were starting to pay attention to them.

     "Mousse not up to anything.  He just staying at the Nekohanten."

     "In that case, I'm glad you hid the statue at Ucchan's."

     "Was good idea, yes.   Shampoo think we start training today.  You
ask Ranma for help yet?"

     Ukyo shook her head in evident amusement.  "Ranma wasn't in class
today, and you're not going to believe the excuse he used."

=================

     Shampoo wasn't sure what she'd expected to find when Kasumi had
allowed her entrance to the Tendos' house.  It certainly hadn't been
Ranma hard at work dusting the nearly spotless furnishings in the living
room.  "Airen?"

     "Shampoo?"  Ranma jumped, reflexively hiding the dust cloth behind
her and looking faintly embarrassed.  "I didn't here you come in."

     "Ukyo tell Shampoo it not good to go through walls, even if in a
hurry."

     "Uh, right.  What do you want now?" Ranma asked nervously.

     "Ukyo have duel with Mousse.  Ranma help train, yes?"

     Ranma didn't hesitate, and it barely crossed her mind to wonder how
she could help someone train. "Sure."  There wasn't really enough
housework to require her help, but Ranma had found herself participating
just to stave off boredom.  In Nabiki's body and supposedly at home
sick,  she didn't have many choices.   "School should be letting out
now, so we can leave right away.  Wait here, I'll go tell my mom."

     Shampoo watched bemused, as Ranma dashed off showing considerably
more haste than Nabiki ever did.

=================

     Drawing on more courage than he'd believed that he possessed, Ryoga
raised his hand and knocked on Nabiki's door.  After seconds passed with
no answer, he began to allow himself to relax.

     "Whoever it is, come in."  Nabiki had asked  Akane to pick up the
day's assignments from one of  his erstwhile classmates, and was just
getting to work on them.  He didn't really appreciate the interruption,
especially when he'd been hoping to forget his current troubles.  Still
when the door opened to reveal Ryoga he became curious.  "What's the
problem?"

     "Nothing really.  I-I just wanted to thank you for not telling
Akane about my curse."

     "I didn't do it out of kindness you know."  Nabiki was just about
to dismiss Ryoga, when a thought occurred to him.  "Say, how did you
deal with being a girl?  While you were in Ukyo's body, I mean."

     "I mostly just ignored it.  As much as I could anyway.  It wasn't
really too bad, because no one expected me to act like a girl."

     "I wish I was that lucky.  Still, I bet you were glad to become a
boy again.

     "At least part time.  Not that it solved my problems," Ryoga
grumbled.

     "Really?  I'd think that you'd be happy with the way things are.  A
better curse and a sense of direction."

     "I know that it won't last, and I get to feel guilty for wishing it
would.  Besides, that isn't what I meant.  I guess it wouldn't hurt to
tell you.  You know that I love Akane, right?"

     "I did notice something along those lines," Nabiki said.

     "Well, I've been living in the same house as her for close to a
month and I still haven't managed to say anything.  First I was
pretending to be Ranma's  boyfriend, then when I was in Ukyo's body
certainly wasn't the right time, and saying something now just seems
wrong."

     "Like you'd be taking advantage of Ranma's misfortune, I suppose.
Why are you telling me this, though?  We're hardly friends."

     Ryoga shrugged.  "Who else could I tell?  You already knew most of
it anyway."

     Nabiki considered.  As far as she knew, Ranma and Akane were the
only friends Ryoga had.  Ukyo might have qualified at one point, but
recent events had changed that.  "I suppose I understand.  Just don't
make a habit out of it." The sound of someone knocking on the door
prevented her from saying anything else.  "What now?" Nabiki groaned.
"Come in."

     The door swiftly opened, to show Nodoka Saotome standing in the
hall.  "I hope that I'm not intruding."

     "No, not at all.  Ryoga and I were just talking."

     "Good.  Actually, I wanted to talk to him myself, if that isn't any
trouble."

     Nabiki shook his head and glanced over at Ryoga.

     "No, I think we were finished," Ryoga said.  Seeing Nodoka start
back out the door; he rose and followed her.  "What did you want to talk
about Mrs. Saotome?"

     "I'd like to ask a favor of you.  Ranma's gone to visit Ukyo and I
was wondering if you could check on them."

     "I suppose so, but why?  Ranma doesn't need a keeper."

     "That Ukyo girl is a bit strange.  I'm worried that she may try to
take advantage of Ranma."

     "Ukyo wouldn't..."  Ryoga paused, Ukyo wasn't nearly as bad as
Kodachi,, but she had the same intentions.  A few weeks ago he would
have been raging about Ranma cheating on Akane.  Ryoga decided it
couldn't hurt to find out what was going on.  "All right, I'll do it."

     "Splendid."

=================

     "I'm not sure how you want me to help," Ranma said as she looked
around the deserted lot.  "I'm not exactly up to heavy training at the
moment.

     "You still know just as much as you ever did, Ranchan," Ukyo said.
"Besides, you've fought Mousse so you know more about his weak points."
Shampoo nodded, confirming Ukyo's words.

     "I guess so.  It's been a while since I've seen you fight, so I
don't know what you'll need to work on."

     "Shampoo can spar with Ukyo."  Shampoo carefully hid her smile.
Ukyo might not be an enemy anymore, but there was still a certain amount
of rivalry.

     "Sounds good."  Ranma stepped back to give the them room for the
match.  By mutual consent the two girls squared off and then Ranma spoke
one word.  "Begin."

     The Chinese girl charged forward confidently, ducking under the
path of Ukyo's spatula and landing a solid blow on her midsection.
Moving to press her advantage, Shampoo was surprised when Ukyo snapped
the haft of her weapon up into Shampoo's temple.

     Shampoo blinked away stars as she threw herself  backward to avoid
the follow up blow.  She silently berated herself for her
overconfidence.  She was still sure of victory though, not only had she
maintained her training since coming to Japan, she'd intensified it.

     Ukyo almost snarled with glee as she drove forward swing her weapon
in a pattern calculated to force her opponent backwards.  Shampoo had
chosen to fight without a weapon, and Ukyo wasn't going to hesitate to
take advantage.

     Watching from the sidelines, Ranma suppressed the urge to cover her
eyes.  She could already see how this fight was going to go, and the
path was surprisingly familiar.

     Ten minutes later, Ranma's suspicions were amply confirmed.
Shampoo had moved through Ukyo's defenses almost at will, landing five
blows for everyone she received.  The only problem was Ukyo's stubborn
refusal to fall down.  "I think I've seen enough."

     "Shampoo not win yet."  Despite her protest, the amazon dropped her
guard and stepped back from Ukyo.

     "You mean I haven't won yet."  Ukyo's wide grin belied her battered
appearance and she seemed more than ready to continue.

     "The extra stamina training Ryoga did seems to have paid off."
Ukyo's grin slipped slightly, as she realized what Ranma meant.  "There
are a few things you need to work on though."

=================

     Mousse searched methodically through Cologne's room, carefully
replacing each item as moved on.  He found the process nerve-wracking in
the extreme, even though the amazon elder was safely in China.  He'd
searched the rest of the restaurant without success, and was beginning
to think that Happosai still had the statue. He couldn't quite bring
himself to believe that.  Deep inside he knew that Shampoo could outwit
the elderly pervert.  Happosai's personality made it inevitable.

     Conceding defeat Mousse, decided that his goal must be hidden at
either the Tendos' or Ucchan's.  That would make it harder to achieve,
but he could still finish his preparations.  There was no doubt in
Mousse's mind that he'd manage to defeat Ukyo easily.  However, taking
unnecessary chances was a risk he didn't intend to take.
.

=================

 Instead of the usual after school crowd Ucchan's hosted only the three
participants  an impromptu planning session.  "The first thing we need
to do is outline Mousse's style for you, Ukyo," Ranma said confidently.
"He uses a lot of tricks, but they're same sort of thing you used when
you first came to Nerima.  Thrown weapons, smoke bombs and explosives,
that sort of thing.

     Ukyo nodded thoughtfully.  "I can handle that."

     "Right.  You're real problem's going to be his unarmed techniques.
If he gets inside your reach or disarms you, he's won."

     "Ukyo need to work on fighting without spatula, then," the amazon
commented.

     "Yes," Ranma agreed.  "We'll concentrate more on speed and counters
to disarming techniques though."

     "I was wondering if you teach me a ki blast," Ukyo said.

     "I dunno that's an awfully advanced technique.  Plus I don't think
you could use depression like Ryoga does, or confidence like I do."

     "You're saying that you couldn't teach me?" Ukyo asked.

     "No.  It would just be a lot of work and you'd probably have to
modify the technique before you could use it.  It might be easier to
teach you the Hiryuu Shoten Ha." Ranma said thoughtfully.  "I don't know
how much time we have to train you.  Why didn't you two tell me about
this before?" Ranma asked sounding annoyed.

     "We plan to get stupid pig-boy to fight Mousse," Shampoo explained.

     "Ryoga?"

     "Yes, that who Shampoo mean."

      "No, look outside."

     Twisting in their seats, the two girls saw Ryoga bend to look at
the closed sign and then peer curiously inside.

     "What's he doing here?"

     "Beats me.  I'll go ask."  As Ranma rose to her feet, Ukyo resisted
the urge to beat her head against the table.  Even if she hadn't had
problems with Ryoga the plan had called for her and Shampoo to be alone
with Ranma.

=================

     "Nabiki, there's someone here to see you."

     Putting aside his algebra text, Nabiki stood and opened the door.
"Kasumi, I'm not quite myself at the moment.  Just tell them that I'm
out.  Ranma can talk to them later."

     The eldest Tendo daughter looked reprovingly at Nabiki.  "It's
Ryoga's friend Kiyomi.  I thought that you should deal with her."

     "I suppose so," Nabiki sighed.  As he headed downstairs, Nabiki
reviewed the situation.  The truly irritating part of this was that many
problems would be solved if Ryoga got a real girlfriend.  Unfortunately,
even if he got a chance he'd blow it.

     As he came to the bottom of the stairs, Nabiki made an abrupt
decision.  "Hi, Kiyomi.  It's nice to see you again."

     "It's nice to see you too, Ryoga.  I really wanted to talk to
Ranma, but Kasumi said that he wasn't here."

     "What did you want to talk to Ranma about?  Maybe I can help."

     "You're Ranma's friend, so maybe you can.  I talked to this Chinese
boy last night who told me some horrible things about Ranma."

     The truth, Nabiki decided would be far too complicated.  "Shampoo
does flirt a bit, but she's really a lesbian."

     "A lesbian," Kiyomi said flatly.

     "Yes, she's dating Ukyo now."

      Kiyomi shook her head in an effort to clear it.  "Isn't Ukyo that
guy with the ponytail?"

     "No, she's the girl with the ponytail."  Nabiki raised a hand to
forestall any objections.  "She is a convincing crossdresser though."

     "Then why did Ranma say he loved Shampoo?" the short haired girl
asked desperately.

     "Well there is this girl he likes, but for some reason he never
manages to tell her how he feels."  Nabiki was rather proud of himself.
He'd managed to give the impression he wanted, without saying anything
that could be disproved.

     "Great.  At this rate I'm never going to find a boyfriend," Kiyomi
muttered, almost inaudibly.

     "Actually, I was wondering if you'd like to catch a movie tomorrow
night."

     "You re not just saying that, are you?"

     "No, I'd really like to go out with you."

     "So, you're not going to announce that you're in love with someone
else or just not show up."  Kiyomi frowned slightly.  "How do you expect
to show up, anyway?"

     "Well, maybe you should pick me up.  I'm staying here so managing
that should be pretty easy."

     "Would seven o'clock be all right then?"

     "It would be fine."  A few minutes later, after settling the final
details of the date, Nabiki was walking back to her room, and wondering
if being helpful was always this much fun.  He'd have to get Ryoga to
pay for everything of course.  He doubted Akane or Ranma would pay, even
if he was really doing this to help them.

=================

    "Let's stop here, Ryoga."

     "An ice cream parlor?"

     "Yep.  I'll get you some cold water."

     "Why would I need..."  Ryoga sighed heavily, and leaned against the
wall to wait.  Ranma had ducked inside without listening to him.  A
short time later she emerged holding a paper cup.

     "You'll like this, it's the best part of being a girl."  Dumping
the water over Ryoga's head, she reentered the shop, dragging the now
shorter girl.

     "Two triple fudge chocolate surprises please."

     Ryoga watched as Ranma smiled endearingly at the clerk.  Somehow
seeing Ranma behave like this in Nabiki's body was more than usually
disturbing.  It was probably the shock value, Ryoga decided.

    "All right, here you go."  Stepping back from the counter, Ranma
handed Ryoga the smaller of the two sundaes.  "Let's take that seat by
the window."

     As Ryoga sat down, she noticed a patched spot in the ceiling.  She
smiled faintly, remembering Mikado's exit from the shop.

     "What do you think of Ukyo's chances, Ryoga?"  Ranma asked around a
mouthful of ice cream.

     "It depends on how smart Mousse fights and how much time Ukyo has
to train.  If they fight tomorrow, her chances wouldn't be good."

     "Really?  She held up pretty well against Shampoo."

     "I've fought Mousse also, remember.  Standing there and trading
blows isn't his style."

     Ranma frowned reflectively.  "We're going to need a plan then.
Mousse knows she'll be training, so he won't wait long."

     "Don't look at me.  You're the expert at cheating."

     "Yeah.  Hey!  There's nothing wrong with using strategy.."  Ranma
dropped her outraged expression to eye Ryoga's barely touched sundae.
"Are you going to eat that?"

     "Yes."  Ryoga defensively pulled the sundae closer to her and began
to eat more rapidly.

=================

      "We're closed!" Ukyo yelled.  When the figure on the other side of
the door continued to pound on it, Ukyo grabbed her combat spatula and
stalked over to open the door.  Squinting  against the early morning
sun, Ukyo's eyes widened as she realized the identity of her unwelcome
guest.  "What are you doing her?"

      The Chinese boy stepped inside, ignoring  Ukyo's angry glare.  "No
doubt Shampoo has told you that I intend to challenge you to a duel,"
Mousse replied.

     "That's why you're here."

     "Partly."  Mousse grinned broadly before continuing.  "I want you
to throw the fight."

     "Why would I do that?"

     "Why not.  As far as I know you have no great liking for Shampoo.
Besides, it would leave you one fewer rival for your precious Ranma,"
Mousse sneered.

     "No thanks."

     Mousse almost jumped in shock at the simple answer.  "Why not?"

     "That's not any of your business.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have
to leave for school."  Inwardly, Ukyo vowed that there was no way she'd
embarrass herself in front of Ranma by losing, on purpose or not.

=================

     Upstairs, Happosai merrily rummaged through doors and closets.  Now
that Mousse had returned, it would be more difficult to search the
Nekohanten for the statue.  On the other hand, it hadn't been there when
he'd looked on Sunday, so he wasn't worried.  He'd start looking for it
here.  Just as soon as he picked up a few mementos.

     Humming quietly, the aged lecher began to methodically, but
lovingly stuff Ukyo's undergarments into the sack he carried.  Reaching
the bottom of the drawer, he stopped in stunned disbelief.  Nobody would
try to hid something from him there.  It just had to be a trap.  He
couldn't afford to pass up the opportunity though.  Almost reluctantly
he reached out and took hold of the small black figurine.

     "Eyow!"  The diminutive pervert howled in agony as the steel jaws
of the trap closed around his wizened fingers.

=================

     "You'll regret your decision.  I challenge you to a duel in front
of Furinkan High in three days time."

     Ukyo met Mousse's glaze levelly, and replied.  "I accept."

     "Eyow!"  The cry of pain from upstairs broke the confrontation.
Ukyo whirled to dash upstairs, but almost collided with Happosai who was
on his way down.  Off balance, Ukyo couldn't reach Happosai in time to
prevent him from reaching the door, but a spray of throwing spatula's
redirected him to the center of the room.

     Mousse couldn't believe what he was seeing, but that didn't stop
him from acting.  With a flick of his wrist a chain lashed out and
curled around the statue in Happosai's hand.  Pulling the chain tight,
Mousse smiled as the statue flew neatly into his hand.

     "I've got...  Oh no."  Mousse's look of triumph was replaced by one
of sheer terror, as several of Happosai's bombs exploded around him.

     Ukyo and Happosai watched as a soot covered Mousse staggered out of
the cloud of smoke and fell to his knees.  It wasn't Mousse that drew
their attention though, but rather the sight of a dozen dull black
fragments dropping from the hand that had held the statue moments
before.

End Chapter Ten.


Chapter 11:

     "Shampoo, we're in trouble," Ukyo gasped breathlessly.  From her
condition it was apparent that she'd sprinted straight from Ucchan's to
the Nekohanten.

     "Ukyo, calm down.  What trouble?"  Shampoo would have liked to
discount the okonomiyaki chef's panic, but past experience had taught
her that it was safest to assume the worst.

     "This!"  Opening her hand, Ukyo dumped what appeared to be a pile
of small black pebbles on the table in front of her.

     "That not..."

      "It's what's left of the statue.  Happosai tried to steal it and
then blew it up when Mousse grabbed it."

     "This not good.  Maybe can fix though," Shampoo said dubiously.

     Ukyo eyed the small pile of gravel.  "Fix how?"

     "Super glue.  Great-grandmother come back tonight.  Shampoo want to
fix before she here."

     "I'll help.  If this doesn't work though, I hope that Cologne has
some better ideas."

=================

     Akane looked around the classroom in puzzlement.  It wasn't like
Ukyo to miss school, especially since she'd seemed fine yesterday.
There was definitely something odd going on.  Ranma had spent a lot of
time visiting  with Ukyo and Shampoo yesterday.  Ryoga spent some time
at the Ucchan as well.  The four of them were up to something.  That was
nothing new though.  The only difference was that they were working
together.

     "Miss Tendo!"  An eraser bouncing off her forehead jerked Akane
back to reality.  "Would you care to answer the question I just asked?"

     "Um, I'm afraid that I wasn't really paying attention," Akane said
apologetically.

     "Perhaps you'd like to spend some time in the hall then."

     As Akane stood, she reflected that this really wasn't fair.  Ryoga
and Nabiki weren't paying attention either.  Still, since Ryoga was in
Ranma's body, his being awake was an improvement, and Nabiki had already
taken the class once.

=================

     "Come on, boy.  If you keep slacking on your training, you'll go
soft."

     "How?  This isn't my body."  Ranma looked up at her father in
disgust.  He sometimes had some good ideas when it came to martial arts,
but this didn't look like it was going to be one of them.

     "Don't be a fool, Ranma.  Being a martial artist is as much a
matter of mind, as body.  Besides, I don't think Nabiki would appreciate
it if you gained any more weight."

     "I suppose you'd know about that," Ranma grumbled.

     "We aren't going to be doing anything strenuous.  Just some basic
stretches and drills."  It had taken a while for Genma to see the
advantages of Ranma's situation, but Genma had eventually realized it's
potential.  Unfortunately, Soun had refused to let him engage Nabiki to
anyone, regardless of whose mind was occupying her body.  This was the
best alternative he could come up with.  Going over the basics in a
female body would probably help Ranma anyway.

     "All right.  It's not like I have anything better to do."  Ranma
shot a suspicious glance in her father's direction.  "You'd better not
try anything funny though."

=================

     Akane stormed down the streets angrily.  Ranma hadn't been there
when she'd gotten home from school and when she'd checked at Ucchan's it
had been closed.  Arriving at her destination, she wrenched the door of
the Nekohanten open, ignoring the fact that it was locked.

     "Akane, what are you doing here?" Ukyo moved inconspicuously to
block Akane's path to the door to the kitchen she'd just emerged from.

     "I'm looking for Ranma.  I know he's got to be here somewhere."

      "What are you talking about?"

     "Where else would he be?  Now get out of my way."  Reaching Ukyo,
Akane tried to push her way into the kitchen.  Being at least
momentarily unsuccessful, Akane changed tactics and pivoted allowing
Ukyo to stumble forward.

     Entering the room, Akane found no sign of Ranma.  The only person
present was Shampoo who was busy with something on one of the counters.

     "Tha- That's the statue."  At least it was the statue; Akane
amended. It currently looked like a half finished jigsaw puzzle.  At
least part of the reason for its condition was apparent, since Shampoo
was holding a pair of tweezers and a tube of glue.

     "What violent girl doing here?" the amazon challenged.

     "That's not important.  I want to know about that."  Akane gestured
in the direction of Shampoo's partially completed project.

     "I think we should tell her, Shampoo.  She already knows, really,"
Ukyo said, coming up behind Akane.

=================

     Ranma was grinning widely as she walked into the Tendos' yard.  It
had been so long since her father had had anything worthwhile to teach
her that she'd almost forgotten what it felt like.  Genma's constant
correction to her balance and stance had been irritating, but they'd
also brought back just about every good memory she had of him.  The
practice might be useful as well.  She could still remember the problems
she'd had trying to fight Mousse under the influence of the full body
cat tongue.

     "I'm back," Ranma announced as she strolled through the door.
"Where's everyone?"

     Nodoka looked over her child's unkempt condition through
disapproving eyes.  She couldn't bring herself to say anything about it
though.  It was nice to see her so happy.  "Ryoga's up in your room,
Nabiki hasn't gotten back yet and Akane left again."

     Ranma frowned uneasily.  "Nabiki's in Ryoga's body.  If she wasn't
with Akane, she could be anywhere by now.  I suppose I'd better get
changed out of this gi and go looking for her."
=================

     "Shampoo finished."  Shampoo triumphantly held up the results of
labor, pushing any doubts she might have had to the back of her mind.

     Ukyo and Akane looked up from the table, where Ukyo had been
explaining yesterday's events to Akane.  "That's great.  Now all we have
to do is test it."

     "What you mean?"

     "Akane shrugged off the curious gazes of the other girls.  "We do
have to find out if it still works.  I mean, it doesn't exactly look the
same."  Akane's statement was accurate, although possibly slightly
overgenerous.  It would have been more to the point to say that the
statue looked like it had been shattered into dozens of fragments and
then glued back together.

     "She's right sugar.  We do need to know."  The young chef moved
nervously away.  "It'll have to be the two of you, since I doubt either
of you could learn okonomiyaki style martial arts well enough in three
days to beat Mousse."

     Shampoo nodded and extended the hand holding the statue.  <Amazon
Secret Technique: Ghostly Spirit Switch.>

     "Well that was exciting.  At least there were a couple of sparks
when Ranma tried to use it."

     "Wonderful.  The way things are going, Ryoga's going to be my
brother-in-law."

     Ukyo winced almost imperceptibly.  "Thanks.  With everything else
going on, I'd almost managed to forget about that.  Say, I thought you
didn't believe there was anything going on."

     "I didn't, but Ranma and Ryoga are always talking and doing things
together."  Akane hesitated  and then decided to continue.  "Plus, I
found some pictures in Nabiki's room."

=================

     In his small room, in the Nekohanten's attic, Mousse contemplated
the girls' actions with considerable amusement.  Although he couldn't
make out much of their conversation, the little he'd heard it sounded as
if Saotome was in a lot of trouble.  He'd expected that any damage
Happosai had caused would've been reversed by now, but apparently it had
not been.  Mousse made no effort to conceal the broad grin that spread
over his face.  With Ranma out of the picture there was no way he could
lose.

     Suddenly a disturbing thought occurred to him.  He'd issued his
challenge expecting that Kuonji was back in her own body.  If he was
wrong, his victory would be far more difficult than he'd expected.  As
Mousse's mind raced, considering new alternatives, one hand reflexively
patted a hidden pocket on his robe, ensuring that the object it
contained was still safe within.

=================

     It still felt a bit strange to be wearing Nabiki's clothes, but it
wasn't as if Nabiki could use them.  Searching through Nabiki's closet,
Ranma marveled at the selection there.  Unfortunately there wasn't much
that was even remotely masculine, but since she was supposed to be
dressing like Nabiki, that didn't matter.  Ranma hesitated over her
choices for amoment and then grabbed a pair of jeans along with a pastel
colored sweater that she thought belonged to Akane. The jeans were tight
enough not to leave much to the imagination, but they were better than
the alterantives.

     A sudden knock on the door caught Ranma's attention.  "Just wait a
second."  After hurriedly pulling on the clothes she'd picked out, Ranma
yanked open the door.  "Ryoga, what do you want now?"

     "I had a couple of ideas that might help Ukyo out, and I wanted to
talk them over with you."

     "Well that's good," Ranma said neutrally.  Ryoga was a superb
martial artist, but planning had never been his strong point.  "I was
going to go get Nabiki, but she can probably wait."  Closing the door
behind her, Ranma walked over to the bed and sat down on it.

     "Something's happened to her?"

     "Nah.  Akane just left her at school.  She's a lot smarter than
you, so she'll probably stay put until someone comes."

     "Hey!  I could do that."

     "Yeah, sure.  That's why you followed  me all the way to China.
Face it, Ryoga, your sense of direction wouldn't have caused you nearly
as much trouble if you weren't so stubborn."

     "You mean it wouldn't have caused me as much trouble if it wasn't
for you.  I still haven't forgotten about those directions to my house
you gave me."

     "There was nothing wrong with those directions," Ranma protested.
"I even drew you a map.  I just didn't understand how hopeless you were
yet."

     "Hey, take that back."  Ryoga's fist clenched reflexively as he
took a step towards Ranma.

     "Why?  It's true and you'd never attack anyone who couldn't fight
back, anyway."  Ranma punctuated her words by sticking out her tongue at
Ryoga.

     "Don't be too sure.  Now that I think about it, this is the perfect
time to get my revenge."

     "What're you talking about?"

=================

     "Akane, Nabiki isn't home from school yet."  The warm and caring
tone of Kasumi's voice was lost on her listener.  She used it all the
time after all.

     "She isn't?"  Akane quickly realized the reason for Nabiki's
absence.  "Sorry, I forgot that she'd need help getting home."  In her
defense, Akane thought that she did have a lot in her mind.

     "Ranma's going to go down to get her, but he hasn't left yet.
Maybe the two of you could go together," Kasumi suggested.

     "I suppose so."  Akane shrugged and headed up the stairs.

     "Stop that!  Let go of me."  Akane quickly whirled towards Nabiki's
room, realizing that the voice came from there.  The muffled shriek that
followed added speed to her response.

     Slamming the door open, Akane saw Ryoga bending over Ranma on the
floor, holding both her arms in one hand.  Stepping forward, Akane
neatly punted Ryoga out the window and into the yard.

     "Thanks, Akane.  Who knew that Nabiki's body would be so ticklish?"

     "Ticklish?"

     "Yeah.  What did you think was happening?  I bet you forgot about
the switch."  Ranma chuckled.  "I guess it would have looked pretty
bad."

     "Yes, that's it!" Akane hastily agreed.  "Anyway, Kasumi suggested
that I go with you to get Nabiki.  Is that all right?"

     "I guess so.  You were the one who left her behind.  I can finish
talking to Ryoga when we get back."

=================

     "So what was this great plan to help Ukyo?"  Ranma looked over at
the boy sprawled out beside her on the futon in her room.

     "Mousse is a blind idiot, right?" Ryoga said, gesturing  lazily.

     "True.  He's not a bad fighter though."

     "That doesn't matter.  I'm a lot better, and if I dress like Ukyo,
he'll never notice the difference."

     "He might not notice, you mean."  Ranma frowned thoughtfully as she
considered the plan.  "It might work if we can't think of anything else
and Ukyo will go along with it."

     "Why wouldn't she?"

     "I dunno.  Akane never likes it when I try to keep her from getting
hurt."

     Ryoga frowned uneasily.  He felt that he should try to defend
Akane, but he wasn't sure how.  It did remind him of something else
though.  "Do you know why Akane kicked me out of the window?"

     "I wouldn't worry about it.  She does stuff like that to me all the
time."

     "But you're a jerk and deserve it!"  Ryoga reconsidered his words.
"Maybe not all the time, but you do a lot of things that upset her."

     Ranma coughed slightly in amazement at Ryoga's concession and then
developed a smirk.  "Things like groping her sister on the floor?"

     "Yes," Ryoga agreed.  Hey!  I wasn't groping you."

     "Well watch where you put your hands next time."

     "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"  Ranma and Ryoga's eyes shot
towards the open doorway and the figure standing in it.

     "Of course not, Nabiki," Ranma replied hastily.

     "Haven't you ever heard of knocking?"

     "Actually, I was trying to find the washroom," Nabiki muttered.  "I
do need to talk to Ryoga though, so I'll just borrow him for a while."

     "I guess that's all right," Ryoga said uncertainly, as he rose to
his feet.

=================

     "What's this about?" Ryoga asked while Nabiki closed the door to
his room.

     "I'm just doing you a favor, Ryoga."

     "A favor?"  Ryoga surreptitiously glanced around the room.  He
didn't see anything out of place, but the conversation still wasn't
making sense.

     "Yes.  Kiyomi asked me out on a date tonight and I accepted."

     "You're going on a date with another girl?"  Ryoga might have had a
sense of direction, but that didn't stop him from feeling lost.

     "I'm not a girl at the moment.  I'm only doing it for you anyway."
Nabiki smiled slightly at Ryoga's expression of disbelief.  "You want
her to think that you're a nice guy, don't you?"

     "I guess so..."

     "Then you won't mind paying for everything."

     Ryoga gulped audibly.  Suddenly things were making a lot more
sense.  "But...  I mean Akane..."

     "You're right, there probably are a few things that I should tell
her."

     Inwardly, Ryoga conceded defeat.  "I don't have all that much
money."

     "Don't worry.  I'll manage."

=================

     Akane knew she needed help.  Even if Shampoo was right and Cologne
could reverse the body switches, she still didn't know what to do about
Ranma and Ryoga.  Her own efforts to win Ranma over had seemed to go
totally unnoticed.  Akane mentally ran through the list of people she
could turn to for help.  Most of them were either too closely involved
or unlikely to provide useful assistance.  Finally, she  decided to go
looking for Nabiki.  Her sibling had become a lot harder  to find
lately, but Nabiki was still her best choice.

     Akane carefully searched the upper floor of the house, before
descending the stairs to continue her quest.  It didn't take long before
she located Nabiki.  When she entered the kitchen she was in for a
surprise though.

     "Nabiki, you look...different."  Instead of Ryoga's usual worn
clothes, Nabiki was wearing a white shirt and back dress pants that
looked vaguely familiar to Akane.  Ryoga's omnipresent bandanna was
absent as well.

     "I'm glad you like it."

     Meanwhile, Akane was rapidly regaining her composure.  Nabiki had
always taken a great deal of concern with her appearance, and there was
no reason that should have changed with her gender.  "Did you get your
hair cut?"

     "Kasumi did it for me.  Along with the manicure."  Nabiki held up
his hand, displaying the neatly trimmed finger nails.

     "Nabiki, guys usually don't have manicures."  Despite everything,
Akane still considered Ryoga her friend, and she didn't want Nabiki
causing trouble for him.

     "I know that, but I'm not really a guy.  Besides, I want to look my
best for my date tonight."  The look of surprise that shot over Akane's
face was almost comical, Nabiki thought.

     "Date!" Akane squeaked.  "With a boy or a girl?"  It was starting
to look like Nabiki wasn't the best choice for advice.

     "A girl."  Akane's expression really was funny, Nabiki decided.
He'd have to tell her the truth though, or at least something close to
it.  There was no need to do it right away though.

     "I just thought of something.  I have to go now."  Akane had
started backing up as she spoke, and when she finished she whirled and
rushed through the kitchen doors.

=================

     Inside Ucchan's Okonomiyaki the second planning session was off to
a slow start.  "What's bothering Ryoga, Ranchan?"  Shampoo hadn't
arrived from the Nekohanten yet, and Ryoga was barely listening to the
others at all.

     "He's just worried because Nabiki's going on a date with Kiyomi."
Ranma waved a hand dismissively.  "It's not a real problem."

     "It's not a problem for you.  Do you have any idea how much Nabiki
is spending?"

     "Nabiki's spending money on this?  I thought she liked guys."

     "She's spending my money.  She's going to wipe me out in one date."

     Ukyo resisted the urge to wince in sympathy.  As far as she was
concerned Ryoga deserved a bit of stress.  She considered asking why
Ryoga was paying, but Nabiki's skill in manipulation was answer enough.
"That's rough.  Do you have any ideas about how I should train?"

     "Yeah.  We'll start once Shampoo gets here.  You'll spar against
her and Ryoga at the same time.  They'll try to disarm you and you'll
try to stop them."

     "That's it?  I was hoping for something a bit more impressive."

     "Hmm?  Oh sure, reliance on a single weapon is your biggest
weakness.  Mousse is sure to try to exploit it."  His comment finished;
Ryoga returned to staring at the wall.

     "Ryoga' right.  Remember what happened when we fought?"

     "I suppose so

=================

     Nabiki stood waiting by the gate with a large degree of
trepidation.  His experience dating wasn't much help in this situation.

     "I'm glad to see you Ryoga."

     "I said I'd be here."  Examining Kiyomi, Nabiki knew a moment of
relief.  She hadn't brought her spear along and had dressed in a sweater
and navy skirt.  Smiling, Nabiki produced a half dozen long stemmed
roses and handed them to Kiyomi.  "I know a nice outdoor cafe around
here that we can go to."

     "I hate to bring this up, Ryoga, but do you remember how to get
there?"

      "Um, no," Nabiki confessed after a moment of thought.  He'd eaten
at the cafe a dozen time with Kuno and knew it was nearby, but couldn't
visualize the route to it.

     "That's all right, Ryoga.  A quiet walk in the park will be fine.
You don't have to spend so much money trying to impress me."

     "I suppose I'm just a bit nervous."

     "That's all right.  The roses are nice."  Kiyomi reached out and
took hold of Nabiki's hand.  "Let's go."

     As the two left, a figure dressed in baggy, ill-fitting clothing
and wearing a cap marked with a red star emerged from the Tendos' yard.
Looking around to make sure no one was watching; Akane set out after her
former sister.

End Chapter 11.

Chapter 12:

     Akane knew that following Nabiki was a bad idea.  It was just that
not following her would be worse.  Nabiki might look like Ryoga, but
that didn't extend to fighting skill.  If anything went wrong, Akane
would step in to protect her sister...or possibly her brother.

     Nabiki steadfastly resisted the urge to look backwards.  He'd
caught several glimpses of someone following them, but hadn't been able
to make out many details.  All he could see was that it was a short
haired girl, wearing baggy Chinese clothing with a cap..   As far as
Nabiki could see, the only good point was that Ryoga hadn't let Ranma
drag him into anything this time.

     "Ryoga, are you sure you're enjoying this?  You're being very
quiet."

    With an effort, Nabiki turned his attention back to the girl walking
beside him.  "I'm just a bit disappointed.  I wanted this to be
special."

     "Don't worry, Ryoga.  I'm sure it will be fine."

     Behind the pair, Akane breathed a sigh of relief.  For a moment
she'd thought that Nabiki had seen her.   She'd have to be more careful
in the future.

=================

     Ukyo grunted slightly as she blocked Shampoo's bonbori with her
spatula.  A hint of movement out of the corner of her eye was her only
warning as Ryoga swept her feet out from under her.  That wasn't enough
for her to do more than convert her momentum into a forward roll instead
of an awkward sprawl.   Before she could regain her feet, a sweeping
kick from Shampoo knocked the spatula from her loosened grip.

     "Not bad.  You lasted one minute and seventeen seconds.  That's
your best time yet, Ukyo," Ranma said encouragingly.  The genuine smile
on her face erased most of her resemblance to Nabiki.

     Ukyo nodded grudgingly.  It might not seem like much, but it was a
definite improvement over the six seconds she'd lasted the first time.
"How about a break?"

     "In a while.  I want Shampoo and  Ryoga to help you with some basic
unarmed techniques first.  We can take a break after that."

     Suppressing a groan, Ukyo glanced over towards her sparring
partners.  Ryoga looked vaguely embarrassed, but Ukyo would have sworn
that Shampoo was smirking.  "All right, let's get this over with."

     "Great!  You know, Pop showed me some speed drills you can do while
you're eating."

=================

     "Hello, Grandfather Happosai.  How has your day been?"

     "Just fine, Kasumi, m'girl, just fine," Happosai replied, patting
the bulging sack slung over his shoulder.

     "Master?  You've come back?"  Ignoring the small voice of sanity
cowering in the back of his mind, Soun Tendo had rushed into the kitchen
when he heard the conversation.

     "That's right!  Now that Ranma's trapped as a girl, I'm here to
stay."  With an evil cackle the diminutive martial arts master bounded
away.

     "Father, what do you suppose he meant by Ranma being trapped,"
Kasumi questioned in concerned voice.

     "I'm not sure, but with a man as diabolical as the master, no good
can come of it."  Soun paused to think for a moment, appearing unusually
calm.  "I don't think we should tell anyone about what the master said.
Especially not Genma."  Soun had barely managed to stop Genma from
engaging Nabiki to a door to door salesman yesterday.  It was as if
there was some deep, primal instinct taking up an area in his brain that
would otherwise be devoted to rational thought.

     "We shouldn't tell Auntie Nodoka either.  We wouldn't want
to...upset her,"  Kasumi said indicating her agreement.

=================

     Akane stalked silently through the bushes.  Nabiki and his date had
taken a haphazard, zigzag path through the park that made it difficult
to follow from any distance.  It was almost as if Nabiki knew that
someone was following them.  Akane paused to blink away a stray droplet
of sweat and then shook her head.  They were probably just lost.
Pushing forward again, she brushed against a tree, and then froze in
shock.

     An incoherent cry of anger shook the bushes to Nabiki's right,
causing him to redden slightly in anger.  He hadn't seen whoever was
following them in a while, but it could only be Ranma.  There was no way
he was going to let that jerk ruin his plans.  Forcing down the
suspicion that he was starting to think like Ryoga, Nabiki stepped off
the path.

     "Akane!"  The sight of his sister dressed in ill fitting clothes
and sprawled at the base of a tree, almost rendered him speechless.
"What are you doing here?"

     "That tree groped me," Akane snarled, clambering to her feet and
slamming a kick into the side of the offending plant.

     "Ow!"

     "Did that tree just say something?" Kiyomi asked, appearing at
Nabiki's side.

     "That hurt."  An almost sickeningly cute face peered out of a large
knothole in the tree's side.  "I was just being friendly."

     "I guess it did."

     Akane's reaction was considerably more direct.  "Tsubasa, you
pervert!"  Nabiki and Kiyomi instinctively looked away from the sounds
of mayhem and cracking wood that followed.

     "Akane why were you following us?"  Deciding that it was safe to
look again, Nabiki turned back towards Akane and winced slightly at the
sigh of Tsubasa's unconscious form.

     "I was just...worried, yeah that's right."  Akane gave an
unconvincing chuckle as she looked into Nabiki's eyes.

     Kiyomi smiled triumphantly.  To her the explanation was obvious.
"You were jealous."

     "I was not!  I was just making sure he didn't take advantage of
you."  Too late, Akane bit her tongue.  That explanation might make a
certain amount of sense, considering how Nabiki treated the guys she
dated.  When the other person thought she was talking about Ryoga...

     "That's absurd!  Ryoga wouldn't hurt a fly."

     Akane blinked in surprise.  She knew that Ryoga was a nice guy, but
he was a little violent at times.  The rest of the time he was
homicidal.

     "Come on Ryoga, I think I will have something to eat after all."
Grabbing hold of Nabiki's arm possessively, Kiyomi began to gently pull
him away from Akane.

     "Did I just make things worse?" Akane wondered.

     Lying forgotten on the ground, Tsubasa moaned softly.  He drew
strength and encouragement from the advice of Ranma's mother.  This just
meant that Akane was playing hard to get.  She'd fall right into his
arms when he proved how manly he was.

=================

     "Do you think Ukyo has a chance, Ranma?"  Ryoga scowled angrily at
Ranma, who was standing motionless in front of the Tendos' door.  "Are
you listening to me?"

     "Quiet, P-chan.  There's something wrong."

     "Bah.  I don't feel anything.  Forcing his way past Ranma, Ryoga
opened the door and confidently stepped through it.  A stream of water
changed his confidence to shock when he stepped inside.  "What the?"

     "Time for our first training session.  You'll need to wear this,
though."  Happosai produced a white silk bra, holding it clutched
tightly in one hand.  "You don't want them to sag, after all."

     "I was right.  Something's wrong," Ranma said, peering over the
suddenly shorter Ryoga's shoulder.

     "Aren't you happy to see me, Ranma?"  Unshed tears glistened in
Happosai's eyes.  "How can you be so cruel to an old man?"  With an
barely stifled sob, Happosai lunged forward and buried his face in
Ryoga's bosom.

     "Die, freak!"  Ryoga's first blow knocked Happosai loose, and a
wild chase through the house quickly ensued.  Ranma watched as a
laughing Happosai easily avoided Ryoga's wild attacks.

     "Great.  What else can go wrong?"  Ranma asked as he listened to
the running battle move through the house and out the back.

     "Nabiki Tendo, I require your services."  The formal wording and
stiff tone could belong only one person.

     Turning, Ranma had her suspicions confirmed.  Standing behind her
was Tatewaki Kuno.  For once he wore casual clothing, instead of wearing
his usual kendo uniform.  "Yeah, what do you want Kuno?"

     "Because of your unfortunate absence from school, I have not
received the merchandise I was promised."

     "What're you talking about Kuno?"

     "Do not mock me.  You have promised to provide images of my goddess
of okonomiyaki."

     For a moment, indecision froze Ranma.  No matter what the
circumstances, she couldn't bring herself to go along with Kuno.
Fortunately, there was another option.  "Just like a man to be so
insensitive."

     Kuno frowned.  This was unexpected and when dealing with Nabiki
that could only mean one thing.  It was going to be expensive.  "Cease
your prattling and speak clearly."

     "How do you think it makes me feel when you always buy pictures of
other women?" Ranma demanded.

     "I had not considered the matter."

     "Well, I'm a woman too.  I like to know that men find me
attractive."

     "Surely you jest.  I hardly think a heart of ice such as yours
could be troubled by such a thing."

     "Do you really think so little of me?"  Wiping away an imaginary
tear, Ranma turned her head away from Kuno.

     "Very well.  I will buy pictures of you as well."  Deep inside
Kuno's skull a single thought began to stir.  Had Nabiki Tendo fallen
victim to the manly charms of Furinkan's most noble student?  Perhaps
this could result in a discount rate?

     "That's nice."  Ranma directed her most saccharine smile at the
hapless lecher.  "Stop by in a couple of days and I'll have something
ready."

     "But I..."

     "See you later."  Still smiling, Ranma slammed the door on Kuno's
face.

=================

     "Ranma what are you doing?"  Akane wasn't sure what she'd expected
to find when she saw Nabiki's door open.  It just wasn't Ranma on her
knees searching through Nabiki's desk.

     "Kuno showed up looking to buy some pictures of Ucchan.  I'm trying
to find them."

     "You're going to sell them?"  Akane struggled to keep her temper
and avoid jumping to conclusions.  She knew that she couldn't really hit
Ranma under the circumstances.

     "I just want to make sure they aren't too...you know."

     "I suppose so.  I'll help."

     "You will?"

     "Of course.  Nabiki is my sister and Ukyo is a friend."  As she
spoke, Akane unobtrusively moved a familiar envelope on the top of
Nabiki's desk out of sight.  Its contents would have sparked a
conversation with Ranma that she really didn't feel like having.

     Ranma frowned uneasily at the way Akane was behaving.  It wasn't
that she objected to Akane treating her better, it was just that she
didn't want to have to be someone else in order for it happen.  "Okay.
You check the drawers on the other side."

     "Okay."  Akane pulled the top drawer open, and began to quickly
sort through the material in it.  Coming to an envelope, she pulled the
contents out and began to examine them.  After only a glance, she
blushed and shoved the pictures back inside.  She wondered who'd be
buying pictures of Ranma's male side and how Nabiki had managed to get
such revealing pictures.

     "Hey!  I didn't know that Ryoga wore leopard print briefs.  I
wonder how Nabiki got him to pose like that."

     Akane looked over at Ranma staring at a picture she held in her
hand and flushed angrily.  "Give me that."  Akane snatched the picture
out of Ranma's hand and glanced at it herself.  She immediately realized
two things.  First, Ryoga had a better build than she'd thought.  The
other realization was a bit more disturbing.  "I think this is Nabiki,
Ranma," Akane said, fighting down a queasy feeling in her stomach.

     "She sure didn't waste much time then.  She's only been in Ryoga's
body a couple of days."

     "She's adapting very well," Akane grated.  "Ranma!  Stop looking at
those pictures."

     "What?   Oh yeah?"  Ranma casually dropped the picture she was
holding to the floor, making sure it landed face down.  There was no
sense giving Akane a swelled head, after all.  "Hey, I think I've found
something."

     "Pictures of Ukyo?" Akane asked.  She hoped it wasn't Ryoga again.

     "No, love letters.   Man, there are a lot of them."  Ranma picked
one out of the pile and scanned through it.  "Some guy's got it really
bad for her.  At least he was smart enough not to sign his name."

     "Never mind, Ranma.  I've found the pictures.  We can't let Nabiki
sell something like this."

     Ignoring Akane's scowl, Ranma grabbed a photo and examined it
herself.  "Yeah, Ukyo would be pretty steamed.  I don't think Ryoga
would happy either."

     "Ryoga?  Of course, that's our furo in the picture.  It must really
be him."  Akane frowned.  There was something wrong about the whole
conversation.

     "Do you have the negatives?"

     "They're right here."

     "Good.  Just grab them and we'll put everything back."

=================

     Ukyo sat wearily at the counter of Ucchan's.  Her day hadn't been
an easy one by any standard and closing Ucchan's was starting to cut
into her profits.  The days when Shampoo had served as a waitress had
drawn business in though.  Actually, that was sort of depressing.  It
wasn't as if she needed a reminder of how much more feminine the amazon
was.  A persistent rapping noise drew Ukyo out of her brooding.  Her
first impulse was to ignore the sound, but that changed when she saw
its source.

     "Cologne!  Shampoo said you'd be back tonight."  Ukyo grinned
widely at the sight of the wizened matriarch, as she yanked the door to
Ucchan's open.

     "Yes, I've already spoken to her and I must say that I've returned
barely in time."

     "Then you can get Ranchan back in his body?" Ukyo asked eagerly.

     "There are certain mystic rituals that can result in an exchange of
bodies."  Cologne congratulated herself for wisely omitting the fact
that no one had performed the rituals in far longer than she'd been
alive.  "They will require considerable time to prepare, so I suggest we
concentrate on your most immediate problem."

     "You mean Mousse.  You know, that law never made much sense to me.
Aren't you people supposed to be some sort of matriarchy?"

     "An overstatement.  In any case, the laws regarding defeat by an
outsider were intended as punishment."  Cologne raised a single finger
for emphasis.  "Consider the possibility that Genma might have defeated
Shampoo."

     Ukyo shivered uncontrollably.  That wasn't a fate that she'd wish
on anyone.  "I'd rather not."

     "Understandable.  Now there are a number of preparations you must
make if you hope to defeat Mousse."

     As Cologne outlined her plan, Ukyo leaned forward to listen.

=================

     Ranma looked up from where she was lounging on the futon, as the
door to her room opened.  "Ryoga, what happened to you?"  Considering
that Ryoga had left chasing Happosai, Ranma already had a few ideas.
Still, with Ryoga looking this bad she had to ask.

     "I chased Happosai into the women's side at the public bath," Ryoga
said, pulling off the torn and stained shirt he was wearing.

     Ranma winced sympathetically; she knew how that went.  It also
explained where Ryoga had found hot water.  "You ought to know better.
I'm surprised you didn't pass out from blood loss or something."

     "I'm getting better about that.  Besides, extreme terror is a great
distraction."  Ryoga sat down, wincing slightly.  "Anything happen
here?"

     "Nabiki got back from her date.  She seemed pretty happy.  At
least, she said that she and Kiyomi are going out again on Saturday."

     "I hope she doesn't expect me to pay again."

     "Say, aren't you a bit embarrassed that she has better luck with
girls than you?"

     "Shut up, Ranma."

=================

     Happosai bounded happily over the rooftops.  It had been several
hours since he'd lost Ryoga, but he still had a smile on his face.  Even
though things hadn't gone exactly as he planned, he knew he was going to
enjoy himself.  A sudden impulse prompted him to leap to safety while a
wooden staff cut through the space he'd just vacated.  "Come to relive
old times?"

     "Give the statue back," Cologne said, her level voice strangely
threatening

     "Sorry, I don't have it and I think you know why."

     "I'm not as easy to fool as my Great-granddaughter or that chef.  I
know it couldn't be destroyed that easily."

     "Just like the Nanban mirror?  Believe me, I'm just as broken up
about this as you are."

     Cologne paused.  Happosai's sorrow was insincere as always, but
he'd never been able to lie to her.  "I'll be watching."

     Happosai watched Cologne pogo off.  How could she accuse him of
something that dishonest.   It was an insult to his honor as a martial
artist.  She did have point about the statue though.  Suddenly, an evil
grin twisted his withered face.  Things might be even better than he'd
thought.

End Chapter 12

Chapter 13:

     "Akane, I need you to help me with something."  Ranma shifted
uneasily, as she closed the door to Akane's room behind her.  This
wasn't something she was comfortable dealing with.  "I sort of talked
Kuno into buying some pictures of Nabiki.  The only problem is I don't
have any."

     "And you want me to take some," Akane bluntly stated.

     "Well yes."  Ranma chuckled faintly and shifted from foot to foot.

     "Nabiki isn't going to be happy about this."  Akane paused for a
moment and then grinned broadly.  "It serves her right though."

     "I guess it does."

     "We probably shouldn't use Nabiki's camera for this.  We can borrow
my Dad's though."

     "That sounds good.  Uh, you know, I'm not planning on anything too
embarrassing," Ranma added.  Akane was being a bit more enthusiastic
than she'd expected.

     "Don't worry.  Nabiki is my sister."  Akane frowned momentarily.
Somehow that hadn't sounded as reassuring as she'd meant it to.
"Anyway, have you decided what to do about those pictures of Ukyo?"

     Deep inside, Ranma knew that there was something wrong.  Akane and
nude photos of another fiancee just didn't add up to a reasonable
discussion.  "I, uh, burned most of them.  There were a few that weren't
too bad."

     "That's good.  Wait here and I'll go get the camera."

     "Don't take too long.  I've got to go help Ukyo train soon.
There are only a couple of days left before the duel."

=================

     Soun Tendo was a deeply disturbed man.  Some might say that this
has always been true, but lately he had found new cause.  It seemed that
he'd never have the secure future he'd dreamed of.  That was why he was
sneaking up towards Kasumi's room, hoping to talk things over with the
one person he could trust.  Unfortunately, the idea that he didn't need
to sneak never crossed his mind.

     "Okay.  Now let's try it with a little more off the shoulder."
Soun stopped in front of Akane's door. He knew he shouldn't eavesdrop,
but couldn't resist.

     "How's that."

     Soun blinked.  That was Nabiki's voice, so Ranma must be in there
with Akane.

     "Perfect."  The sound of a camera clicking followed.  "Hmm.  Maybe
we should try some shots in a swimsuit."

     Soun abruptly turned and headed back down the stairs.  Ignoring
things and hoping they went away was starting to sound pretty  good.

=================

     Cologne clucked her tongue softly as she pogoed over to another
stack of books.  She'd found the ritual she wanted with far less effort
than expected.  There were problems though.

     "Son-in-law won't like this."  Cologne conceded that talking to
herself was probably a sign of senility.  She had more important things
to worry about though.  A week to get the ingredients, and another three
days to prepare was far too long.  "And I still don't know if it will
work."

     Abruptly, Cologne laughed.  Ranma wouldn't trust her, so she'd turn
that suspicion to her advantage.

=================

     Elsewhere in Nerima, Nabiki was suppressing a strangely  similar
laugh.  Someone had gone through his desk.  Ranma was the leading
suspect, of course, and Nabiki would enjoy getting his revenge when the
time came.

     "Are you all right, Nabiki?  I though I heard coughing."

     With a start, Nabiki looked up to see the concerned face of her
older sister regarding her through the newly opened door.

     "I'm fine.  I was cleaning and there was a bit of dust."  With an
imperceptible sigh, Nabiki relaxed as Kasumi closed the door.  Sometimes
it was a bit spooky how unobtrusive Kasumi could be.

     That wasn't important though.   Neither were the missing photos of
Ukyo.  There was really no way she could stop someone from finding
anything she hid.  Even a safe wouldn't stop a determined martial
artist.  The trick was making sure they didn't look very hard.

=================

     Ryoga hesitated for a moment, as he watched Ranma wave to Ukyo
through the window and then spoke.  "I've got a question, Ranma.  How
come you're taking thing so calmly?  I mean, being a girl full time and
all."

     "It's no big deal.  I've been stuck before and this time I know
it's not permanent."  Stretching her arms above her head to work the
kinks out, Ranma fell in step beside Ryoga.

     Ryoga reflexively looked away and then forced himself to look back.
Ranma was still a guy, no matter who he looked like.  "That's not what I
mean.  You almost seem to be enjoying it this time."

     "I am.  Not being a girl, but the rest of it is almost a vacation.
I don't have school, I'm spending time with Pop and Mom and just about
every one is getting along."  Ranma shrugged expansively.  "I know it
won't last, so I might as well enjoy it."

     "I guess you're right.  You know, I think I'd like to go swimming.
I used to enjoy it."

     "Maybe after the duel on Saturday."

     "If Ukyo wins.  Otherwise it would sort of spoil the mood," Ryoga
said, turning towards the Tendos' gate.

     "Don't worry about that.  She may not want anyone substituting, but
I've got some ideas."  Grinning slightly, Ranma produced a small cloth
bag and tossed it into the air, producing a muffled clink when he caught
it.  "You're going to have to do some training as well."

=================

     "Ryoga we need to talk."  Akane was dimly aware that she'd been
avoiding Ryoga.  It was silly because they were living in the same house
and he was her friend.  This was one conversation she couldn't put off
any longer though.

     "W-we do?"  Possibilities flashed through Ryoga's mind.  It didn't
sound like Akane was about to declare her love.  Maybe Nabiki had told
her about the curse.

     "It's about Nabiki."

     It was the curse.  Ryoga tried to stammer out an apology, but
couldn't do more than twitch.

     "She's been acting really strange since she wound up in your body.
I mean, dating another girl?"

     Oh.  It was about Nabiki.  "I, um, I'm not really happy about
that.  Even if she says she's doing me a favor."

     "Nabiki said that?"

     "While she was talking me into paying for everything."  Ryoga saw
Akane start to ask another question, so he elaborated, "Something about
Kiyomi liking me."

     Understanding flooded Akane.  Suddenly the world seemed a much
better  place than it had moments before.  "Really?  That's very nice of
her."

     "I guess so.  I'm still going to have to break up with Kiyomi."

     "Wha-?  She seems like a nice girl.  Don't you think you should
give her a chance?"

     "Er...No I don't think so.  I will...I just don't think it would
work out."  Telling Akane that it looked like he was going to have to
borrow money from Nabiki to pay for the second date didn't seem like a
good idea.

     "I think I understand."

     The note of sorrow in Akane's voice tugged at Ryoga's heart, but he
didn't know what to say.  Instead he watched as Akane walked off and
wondered why he couldn't tell her how he felt.

=================

     "I think you've done all the training we have time for Ukyo," Ranma
said.  "What we need to do now is come up with some sort of strategy for
you."

     "What do you mean?"  Ryoga frowned slightly.  "This is a duel.
Isn't Ukyo just going to hit him until the fights over?"

     "That kind of thinking gets you into a lot of trouble, Ryoga."
Ranma grinned as Ryoga clenched his fists.  Teasing him was almost as
much fun as their sparing matches.  "Besides, if Ukyo doesn't have a
plan, she'll probably lose."

     "Is true.  Mousse very strong fighter."

     Ukyo smiled confidently and absentmindedly ran a finger along the
edge of her spatula.  "Don't worry.  Cologne's been helping me come up
with a plan."

     "Yeah, but I've got a few ideas too."

     "Are they anything like your last idea?" Ukyo inquired sweetly.  "I
didn't spend all this time training so someone else could fight for me."

     "I told you, that was Ryoga's idea."  Ranma wilted slightly under
Ukyo's glare.  "Um, never mind."

     "I know you mean well, but you don't plan for your fights either.
You just make it up as you go along and I can't do that.  Besides, you
and Shampoo have already told me everything you know about  Mousse's
fighting style."

     "Well, if you're sure."  As Ranma rose to go, she considered the
situation.  She could understand Ukyo's desire to fight Mousse without
any outside interference, but she wasn't about to stand by and let
Mousse win.

=================

     It was an unusual group of spectators that gathered to watch the
duel between Ukyo and Mousse.  There was the traditional crowd of the
curious, perhaps a bit more sparse than usual.  The fact that Ranma
wasn't involved might be blamed for this, or perhaps the lack of
Nabiki's customary promotion.

     Nabiki, Ranma, Akane, Shampoo and Ryoga standing  together in one
group wasn't something that happened every day.  Especially not without
some kind of fight breaking out.  Not knowing the true circumstances,
most people just shrugged it off.

     "There's something I haven't seen in a while," Ranma commented.
The combination of ring and a giant hot plate had certainly been one the
more unusual fighting surfaces she'd experienced.

     "Maybe she's taking this okonomiyaki martial arts idea a bit far."
Akane's cooking notwithstanding, Ryoga felt that food shouldn't be
actively dangerous.

     "Whatever works."

=================

     A hint of unease began to trouble Mousse.  The day of his duel with
Ukyo had arrived, but he realized that he'd omitted a few details when
he set the terms.  The boxing ring that Ukyo was standing in was one of
the more troubling.  Something like that would force him to remain
fairly close to Ukyo.  He hadn't really expected her to get that worked
up about the duel.  She wouldn't want to lose, but no one would expect
her to follow amazon laws if she lost.

     After a moment, Mousse shrugged off his concern and leapt into the
ring.  Ukyo wasn't the only person who'd prepared for this fight.  As he
landed, Mousse noticed a row of large containers behind Ukyo.  "Are you
ready?"

     "You bet."

     That was good enough for Mousse; he charged forward and launched
his attack.  Beginning an abortive kick just outside Ukyo's range,
Mousse ducked under her counter strike and connected with a brief flurry
of punches to her midsection.

     "Wha..?"  Caught off guard, Ukyo let Mousse's blows force her
back.  Bringing her spatula around in an abrupt arc, she managed to
clear a space between Mousse and herself.  Narrowing her eyes, she
caught sight of the glint of metal on Mousse's hands and cursed
silently.  Brass knuckles were the least of the surprises she could
expect.

     Ukyo wasn't the only one rattled by the exchange.  Mousse had hoped
to win quickly, but the ease with which Ukyo had weathered his blows
made this unlikely.  Leaping backwards, Mousse hurled a series of chains
towards Ukyo. The ease with which Ukyo used her spatula to swat them out
of the air only confirmed his suspicions.

     "Try some of my special batter!"  Ukyo didn't really think that the
various surprises she'd prepared would defeat Mousse.  They hadn't done
much good against Ranma when she'd first arrived in Nerima, after all.
She only intended to slow Mousse down until she could close the range
again.  That was why she was surprised when Mousse barely landed before
leaping back into the air, passing over the batter and aiming a flying
kick at her head.

     Mousse grimaced, as Ukyo blocked his kick with the haft of her
spatula.  It had felt more like kicking a boulder than anything else.
Despite that he felt a rising sense of confidence.

     Despite herself, Ukyo grinned as she swung her spatula.  The grin
faded as Mousse stepped into her blow and accepted a glancing hit to the
shoulder.  The punch and snap kick combination he retaliated with erased
it entirely.

=================

     "This isn't good."

     "What was your first clue?"  Akane winced mentally as Mousse
connected with another punch.  "

     "That isn't what I mean.  Mousse isn't fighting the way he's
supposed to.  He's hardly using any weapons at all and he keeps mixing
it up in close."  Ranma began to inch closer to Ryoga.  It looked like
Ukyo would need help soon.

     Seeing Ranma's actions, Akane directed an angry glare at Ryoga.
Unfortunately for her, no one noticed.

=================

     Ukyo grunted as yet another punch landed on her midsection.
Lurching forward, she slammed her forehead into the middle of the
Chinese boy's face.  The impact didn't hurt Mousse much, but it did
knock him off balance.  At least enough to let Ukyo connect with a
punishing roundhouse swing of her spatula.

     Mousse rolled with the second blow, letting the force propel him
farther away from Ukyo.  A searing sensation across his shoulders as he
landed barely registered.  On some level he realized that the outer
portion of the ring was a huge cooking grill.  However the rest of his
mind was concentrating on his next move.

     Eager to finish Mousse off, Ukyo charged forward, only to find
herself moving headlong into a cloud of dense white smoke.  The next
thing she felt was something hard sweeping her legs out from under her,
while Mousse kicked her spatula loose.

     Reflexively rolling backwards out of Mousse's reach, Ukyo stretched
out her arm towards where she'd heard her weapon land.  Relief flooded
through her as she grabbed hold of its haft and she quickly stood.  The
sound of cloth rustling prompted her to look up, only to see Mousse
plunging towards her.

     Ukyo raised her spatula to block, but felt the sickening
realization that it was already to late.  Ukyo braced herself for the
impact, but that never came.  Mousse's descent suddenly wavered and his
foot went wide, brushing past Ukyo.

     Before Mousse recovered, Ukyo brought her spatula around and
slammed it into the side of his head.  As Mousse slumped to the floor of
the ring unconscious, Ukyo looked out to see a grinning Ranma giving her
a thumbs up sign.  The next thing she saw was a grateful Shampoo vault
into the ring and hug her.  It was perfectly understandable that she
missed the small metal sphere which rolled up against her foot.

=================

     Ukyo smiled gingerly.  Despite the beating she'd received from
Mousse during the fight, she was unharmed except for a persistent ache
along her ribs.  "I guess you won't have to worry about Mousse for a
while, Shampoo."

     "That right.  We have bigger problem though."

     "Do you mean Ryoga or Ranma being stuck as Nabiki?"

     "Both is problem, but Great-grandmother get Ranma in right body."

     "You mean Ryoga then.  Maybe you haven't noticed, Sugar, but we
aren't exactly in a position to do anything about that."

     "Shampoo know what to do."  The amazon held up a small paper packet
for Ukyo to inspect.

     "Instant nanniichuan?  Are you sure this is a good idea?" Ukyo
asked dubiously.

     "Shampoo have perfect plan."

=================

     Delicately probing the side of his face, Mousse winced slightly.
Ukyo must have hit him with one of her throwing spatulas as he came
down.  He didn't remember it, but the last few seconds of the fight
weren't very clear in his mind.

     Ukyo might have beaten him, but he wasn't finished yet.  In fact,
if Ranma was still in the wrong body he might have already won.  If not,
something could be arranged.  The sound of the window that illuminated
his attic room creaking open drew Mousse from his contemplation.

     "Hand it over, boy."  The diminutive figure grinned malevolently as
he saw Mousse cower before him.

     The question sent a chill down Mousse's spine.  Happosai was the
last person he wanted to learn the truth of what had happened.  "I don't
know what you're talking about."

     "I think you do.  Don't worry Mousse, we both want the same thing.
Revenge on Ranma."

     Mousse hesitated.  Defeating Ranma had never been more than a means
to an end for him and he'd even developed a grudging respect for his
rival.  Still, Happosai would be a formidable ally.  "Perhaps we do."

End Chapter 13.


Chapter 14: The Dating Game

     "I'm not using that to pretend to be a guy," Ukyo stated firmly.
Shampoo's plan was fairly obvious.  If Ukyo took Ranma on a date, Ryoga
wouldn't be able to.

     A frown creased Shampoo's face as she absently fingered the small
package.  "Shampoo think you should no decide so quick.
Great-grandmother can't do ritual for over a week."

     "I don't know."  Ukyo had to admit that the idea of doing something
was attractive.  She couldn't think of anything else either.

     Seconds ticked by as Ukyo thought.  Finally, she reached a
decision.  "I'll do it."  Ranma would just refuse to go out with her.
There was nothing to worry about Ukyo reassured herself.

=================

     "I don't like the way we cheated to help Ukyo win, Ranma."

     "You just decided that now?" Ranma asked incredulously.  "It's a
little late."

     "I know and I'd do it again.  Those amazon laws are nothing but
trouble."  Ryoga gestured irritably.  "I'm just not happy about
cheating.  Ukyo might have been able to win on her own."

     "I doubt it.  Besides, no one knows she didn't."  Ranma suddenly
grinned.  "I don't think that's your real problem anyway.  You're just
worried because Nabiki's getting ready for another date.

     Ryoga nodded reluctantly.  "That doesn't help.  I only wish I
wasn't going to have to deal with the problems that she creates."
=================

     Ukyo walked confidently around to the back of the Tendos' house.
That's where Kasumi had said Nabiki was exercising.

     "Nabiki, I want to ask you something."  Ukyo almost grinned when he
found Ranma dressed in a gi and perspiring lightly, evidently taking a
short break from training.  It made it easier to remember who she was
really talking to.

     "Yeah?  What do you want?"  Ranma's eyes narrowed instinctively as
she appraised the unfamiliar boy.  He was tall, almost Kuno's height and
had his long hair drawn back in a pony tail.  More importantly, he was
obviously a skilled martial artist despite a slight awkwardness in his
stance.  If his build was any indication, he'd have formidable levels of
strength and endurance, possibly rivaling Ryoga.  In normal
circumstances he'd only be a moderately challenging opponent.  Things
certainly weren't normal though.

     Ukyo hesitated momentarily, taken aback by Ranma's suspicion.  "My
name is Yoshio Konishi.   I've wanted to ask you out for a long time,
but I couldn't find the courage.

     "But you're doing it now right?"  An obvious connection clicked
into place in Ranma's mind.  This must be the person who'd written the
love letters she'd found in Nabiki's desk.  Ranma conducted a second
more detailed appraisal.  She supposed he was fairly handsome.

     "I suppose I am."

     "All right.  You can pick me up at five tomorrow."  Ranma didn't
know how she was going to  be able to go through with this, but she
couldn't ruin things for Nabiki.

     "S-sure!"  Ukyo barely managed to contain his shock.  Thing's
weren't going according to plan, but it was too late too back out.

     "Great.  Don't be late."

=================

     Ranma was more than slightly surprised.  It turned out that Kuno
was actually tolerable to be around if he wasn't trying to kill you or
date you.  The fact that he was paying for the milkshake that Ranma was
enjoying helped, of course.

     "You brought the photographs I requested, fair Nabiki?"

     Ranma abruptly returned her attention to Kuno.  "Uh, yeah.  I did.
It'll be 3000 yen for each set of five."  She noted Kuno's unusual form
of address, but decided it wasn't her problem.

     "The very heavens cry out against such usury.  Surely the increased
volume of my custom warrants consideration."

     Ranma paused.  She was almost sure that Kuno had just asked for a
discount, something she knew from personal experience Nabiki seldom
gave.  Still, she felt just a tiny bit sorry for Kuno.

     "All right 5,500 yen for all ten photos."  Ranma passed the packet
of photos across the table to Kuno and accepted a wad of yen in return.

     "That seems to be a most equitable arrangement.  In return I have a
gift for you."

     Ranma blinked as Kuno laid a garland of pale yellow flowers on the
table between them.  "This isn't Hawaiian, is it?"

     "Wolfsbane.  It is said to be most effectual in combating the
condition you suffer from."

     "What?"  Belatedly, Ranma recalled that her excuse for skipping
school had involved werewolves.  "Thanks, I guess."

     Kuno smiled slightly.  Nabiki's usual casual insults and sarcasm
had been almost entirely absent.  The new attitude made her seem almost
attractive.

     A chill crept down Ranma's spine as she saw a slightly unfocused
look enter Kuno's eyes.  She pushed it away, laughing inwardly.  Nabiki
deserved a bit of trouble, after all.

=================

     "You wanted to see me, daughter-in-law?"  Cologne was careful to
keep her interest from showing in her voice.  There was nothing stopping
Ukyo from visiting the Nekohanten, but she rarely did so.

     "Yes.  I want to find out if Jusenkyo curses affect the mind.
Shampoo keeps blaming Ranma's curse for the way he's acting, but I'm not
so sure."  Ukyo still wasn't happy about the situation with Shampoo, but
that wouldn't stop her from taking advantage of it.

     "Humph.  I honestly don't know."  Cologne raised a withered hand to
forestall any interruptions.  "The magics of Jusenkyo share a common
source and should behave in similar ways."

     Ukyo's eyes narrowed.  "Let me guess.  You're going to tell me they
don't."

     "True.  Most springs don't have any obvious effect on the victims'
personality, but there's at least one that does.  That one is the spring
of the drowned virtuous man.  My theory is that it differs because of
the extremely strong personality of the person who formed it."

     "Then all the springs would cause some changes, just not as
strong?"  At Cologne's nod, Ukyo continued.  "And the girl that drowned
to create Ranma's curse would have had a stronger personality than, say,
a cat?"

     "In all likelihood, yes.  However, even  if this theory is correct,
I'm not convinced the curse would have a major effect on Ranma."

     "But, Ranma does act like a real girl sometimes," Ukyo protested.

     "It's likely that much of his changed behavior is simply a way of
coping with the stress caused by his curse.  I suppose being in Nabiki's
body has a similar effect."

     "That doesn't sound any better.  What you're saying is that Ranma
is affected by the curse, we just don't know how much."

     "It's really not so bad.  As long as Ranma isn't in his cursed
form, it shouldn't matter," Cologne said reassuringly.  "Tell me, is
there some reason we're having this discussion now?"

     "I used some instant Nannichuan and asked Ranma out on a date.  He
said yes."  Ukyo gazed nervously at the floor as she spoke and her
cheeks colored faintly.

     "Why on earth would you do something like that?  Never mind.  I
assume you didn't tell Ranma who you really are?"

     "Of course not.  I don't want him to think I'm some kind of
pervert."

     Cologne marveled at the discipline several decades of rigorous
training had given her as she resisted several obvious statements.
"Ukyo, Ranma is pretending to be Nabiki.  That means that when a boy
asks him out, he'll respond the way that Nabiki would."

     Ukyo considered the statement for a moment.  "This is going to cost
me a lot of money, isn't it?"

=================

     Kiyomi walked glumly up to the door of the Tendos' house.  She'd
always known that Ryoga was cute, but she'd ignored him in favor of
Ranma.  That was starting to look like a mistake.  Over the past few
days Ryoga had proven himself a surprisingly mature and intelligent
individual.   It made what she had to say right now a lot harder.

     Mustering her resolve, Kiyomi reached out and firmly knocked on the
door.  After a moment, a short haired girl about Kiyomi's age opened the
door.

     "Kiyomi?  I thought that you were on a date with Na- Ryoga."  Akane
stared suspiciously at the girl in the door way.

     "I was.  I'm afraid that I lost him somehow.  We were walking
together and I looked away for a moment and when I turned back, he was
gone."

     Akane took a deep breath to help control her temper.  "Don't worry
about it.  Ryoga's used to looking after himself , so I'm sue everything
will turn out all right."  Privately, Akane had her doubts.  Nabiki was
resourceful, but it just wasn't the same thing.

Kiyomi smiled softly. "I'm sure you're right.  When you see Ryoga, tell
him I'm looking forward to seeing him again."

=================

     "Bwee!"  Nabiki supposed that it was his own fault.  If he'd been
paying attention he would've noticed the sprinkler.  Still, that didn't
change the fact that he was hungry, tired, lost and a pig.  He had to do
something.  Spotting a cluster of teenage girls rounding the corner,
Nabiki started trotting towards them and assumed the most pathetic
expression his porcine face could muster.

     "What a cute pig!"

     Nabiki permitted himself a small sigh of relief as he felt a pair
of gentle hands lift him up.  He'd never really understood why Akane's
friends thought P-chan was so cute, but it was about to come to prove
useful.

     "That's Akane's pet, P-chan.  I wonder what he's doing here."

     Nabiki's heart soared.  This was far better than he'd hoped.  Not
only was he still somewhere near Furinkan, he'd found someone who knew
Akane.

=================

     "I don't know what you want me to do, Akane," Ryoga said
nervously.  "If Nabiki's gotten lost she probably doesn't even know
where she is."

     "I know that, but we have to do something.  Nabiki doesn't know how
to cope with this sort of thing like you do.  Besides, Dad isn't going
to take it well when he finds out that Nabiki's missing."

     Ranma's mind raced furiously.  Being stuck in Nabiki's body wasn't
too bad as a temporary situation, but she didn't want to see it extended
by a couple of months.  'Searching might be worth a shot.  If Nabiki
stopped moving after she realized she was lost we won't have to cover
too large an area."

     "That's right!"  Akane smiled brilliantly.  "And if we get Shampoo
and Ukyo to help we can cover a lot more ground."

     Ryoga carefully hid a frown.  He was guiltily aware that he didn't
really want to switch back and for a moment it had seemed like he'd have
his wish.  "I suppose we'd better get going then."

=================

     "Do you want another chocolate, P-chan?"

     Nabiki nodded his assent and stretched out on the soft bed.  The
past hour of being petted, fawned over and fed treats had taught her one
thing.  Being a pet was extremely boring.  He didn't know how Ryoga
could stand it.  At least the conversation was interesting.

     "You're a smart pig, P-chan.  Sometimes, I almost think you can
understand what I'm saying.  Yuka sighed heavily and reached out to
scratch P-chan behind his ears.  "Akane's lucky to have a pet like you."

     "I don't know if I'll ever find anyone.  Akane says that she
doesn't like boys, but you wouldn't know it from the way she talks about
Ranma."  Yuka stopped scratching for a moment.  "Actually, I'm not sure
that means anything.  Do you think Akane likes girls, P-chan?"

    Nabiki felt that was his cue to shake his head vigorously and did
so.

     "That's what I thought.  Then there was Ukyo, but I can't compete
with someone like Shampoo."

     It's not certain how Ryoga would have reacted if he'd been there.
Nabiki on the other hand simply moved his head so Yuka could scratch
under his chin easier.

     Yuka sighed.  It was nice to be able to talk about her feelings
without worrying, even if it was with a pig.  Animals were a lot more
trustworthy than humans.  She wouldn't be able to talk to anyone from
Furinkan like this.

=================

     Ranma halfheartedly stifled a groan.  She'd never been a morning
person and current circumstances hadn't changed that.  Not only had they
wasted half of the evening looking for Nabiki, but Ryoga didn't seem at
all worried.  She'd have to talk to him about that.

     As she entered the dining room, Ranma realized something was
wrong.  She still hadn't seen Ryoga and he usually woke up a few minutes
before her.

     "Kasumi, have you seen Ryoga?"

     "I'm afraid he just left."

     "Before breakfast?"  Something was definitely going on.

     "It was quite strange.  There was a phone call and I was busy so he
answered it.  I didn't hear what he said and right after that he left
without telling me anything."

     "Must have been Shampoo or Ukyo," Ranma thought out loud.  "They're
the only people who know what' going on and that call must have been
pretty important."

=================

     "Stop squirming.  If I put you down you'll just get lost again."
Ryoga directed a frustrated glare at the small black pig he was holding
in one hand.  He didn't know why Nabiki was being so unreasonable about
this.  He was sure he'd never been this bad.

     "Bwee!"  Nabiki squirmed trying to get the idiot holding him to
loosen his grip, but instead achieved the opposite result.

     "You're lucky I'm the one that answered when Yuka phoned.  Anyone
else and Akane would be spending some time with her pet pig."  Ryoga
realized that this wasn't entirely true.  Ranma would have reacted the
same way.  Still, Nabiki should at least be a little grateful.

     Minutes later, Ryoga was slipping quietly into the Tendos' home.
Carefully keeping P-chan on the far side of his body, Ryoga waved to
Kasumi as he walked past the kitchen.  He breathed a sigh of relief when
he reached the furo without encountering anyone else.  Getting caught
would have only been a little inconvenient, but he'd still worried.

     Ignoring Nabiki's renewed struggles, he slid the door to the furo
open.  "Na- Ranma, what are you doing here?"

     "Taking a bath, idiot."  Ranma abruptly noticed a thin trickle of
blood issuing  from Ryoga's nose.  The direction of his gaze left no
doubt as to the cause.  "Pervert!"

     Ryoga hastily ducked a Ranma hurled a wooden bucket towards his
head with surprising force.  "S-Sorry.  I didn't... "  Ryoga was frozen
in indecision.  He knew he shouldn't keep looking, but taking his eyes
off Ranma didn't seem like a good idea either.  Considering this, it's
understandable that he missed a few details.

     "Stop staring at my body!"  The sudden blow didn't have much skill
behind it but it more than made up for that in power.  Ryoga's face was
driven deep into the floor and Nabiki blinked in surprise at the result
of his action.

     "Hey, you found Nabiki!  That's great," Ranma exclaimed her anger
momentarily forgotten.

     "Wurgle."

     "Ryoga are you all right?"  Leaving the furo, Ranma knelt down
beside Ryoga and started trying to pry his head out of the floor.

     "He deserved it."  Nabiki tried not to smirk, but had to admit that
violence was surprisingly...cathartic.

=================

     "Did you enjoy your run, Akane?"

     Akane nodded absently at Kasumi's question and ran her fingers
through her sweat dampened hair.  "Yes.  I really feel like a bath now
though."

     "I'm afraid that you'll have to wait.  I think Ranma's still in the
furo."

     "Too bad.  I suppose I can't join him, even if he is my sister
right now."  A sudden clatter of wood on tile caught Akane's attention.
"What was that?" Akane asked, taking two steps towards the furo.

     "Maybe Ranma slipped."  A moment after she spoke, an image of Ryoga
walking past the kitchen flashed through Kasumi's mind.  He would have
noticed the occupied sign though.

     "You're probably right.  I..."  An outraged shout coincided with an
impact that shook the foundations of the house.  Akane was heading
towards the furo before the sound ended, leaving Kasumi to trail behind.

     Halting before the door to the inner bath, Akane paused for a
second to marshal her courage and then swiftly pushed the door open.
She wasn't sure what she expected to see, but this wasn't it.  Ryoga was
lying on the floor while a naked Ranma knelt beside him and cradled his
head in her hands.  Meanwhile, Nabiki stood by the wall wrapping a towel
around his midsection.

     "If there's a logical explanation for this, I don't want to here
it," Akane announced, before spinning on her heel and storming out of
the room.

     "I think she took it very well, don't you?"  Kasumi met Ranma's
incredulous stare with a faint smile.

=================

     Akane ran through recent events trying to make sense of them.
Ranma and Nabiki had apparently been taking a bath together.  She was
sure there was something perverted about that, but trying to figure out
what was more trouble than it was worth.  The really puzzling part was
how Nabiki had suddenly appeared.  A quiet knock on her door interrupted
her train of thought.

     "Who is it?"

     "Ryoga.  We have to talk."

     Akane sighed.  She should have known this was coming.  "Come in,"
she called.

     Ryoga quickly darted inside and closed the door behind him.  "Akane
I..."

     "Let me guess.  You've got an explanation for what happened that's
a lot simpler and more convincing than the truth."

     "Yes- I mean no."  Ryoga caught himself and grinned sheepishly.
"How did you know."

     Akane smothered a giggle.  She should have realized that Ryoga was
trustworthy.  If nothing else, Ryoga was by far the poorest liar that
she knew.  "When I was six years old Nabiki sold my favorite doll.  She
told me the monster under the bed stole it.  She got it back for me when
I wouldn't stop crying, though."

     "It doesn't sound like she'd changed much," Ryoga ventured, his
voice heavy with relief.

     "She hasn't."  Akane paused for a moment and assumed a somber
expression.  "I have to ask you something very important, Ryoga.  Do you
care for Ranma?"

     "What?  Yes I do."  Ryoga was a bit surprised by the question, but
there was no doubt about the answer.  The weeks since he'd ended his
quarrel with Ranma had been the best in his life.

     "Good.  I'm worried about this date that Ranma's going on tonight."

     "Wha...  Ranma's going on a date?"

     "He didn't tell you?  A guy named Yoshio asked Ranma out.  He said
he'd liked Nabiki for a long time, but he had to be lying about that.
He doesn't go to Furinkan or even live nearby."

     Ryoga frowned thoughtfully.  "He's a martial artist?"

     "Ranma says he seems to be pretty good."

     Ryoga winced internally.  "I guess we'll have to do something
then.  There's no reason to assume something will happen, but-"

     "-we are talking about Ranma," Akane said, finishing Ryoga's
thought.

=================

     "Hello, Kasumi.  I was wondering if I could talk to Ranma."

     Kasumi smiled politely at the visitor.  "I'm sorry Mousse, but
Ranma isn't home now."

    "Then perhaps I could speak to Akane or Nabiki."

     "I'm afraid that they're not here either."

     "Really.  Do you know where they went?"

     "I'm afraid not.  I know they're eating out, but they didn't tell
me where."  Kasumi shifted slightly under Mousse's steady gaze.  It
wasn't that he was impolite, but there was something different about
him.

     "I see.  I'm sorry to have troubled you."

     "Don't worry.  It was no trouble at all."  It wasn't until Kasumi
was watching Mousse walk down the street that she realized what was
different about him.  He hadn't been wearing his glasses.

=================

     "What are they doing?"  Akane craned her head awkwardly trying to
peer over the row of plants.  They'd stopped Ranma from seeing her and
Ryoga, but they also made it hard to keep track of what was happening.

     "Looking at their menus."  Ryoga's hands tightened involuntarily on
his own menu.  There was just something about the way Ranma was smiling
at that jerk.

     "Relax, Ryoga.  The way you're scowling I'd almost think you were
jealous."  Akane kept her voice light, but a perceptive listener might
have detected an edge of bitterness.

      A wave of momentary panic shot through Ryoga at Akane's words.
First that mess  when he'd walked in on Ranma in the bath and now this.
After a moment, Ryoga decided it was all Yoshio's fault.  If he hadn't
asked Ranma out there wouldn't be a problem.  One of Ryoga's hands
dropped to the edge of the table and the wood groaned ominously under
the pressure.  He could hardly wait for trouble to start.

=================

By the time the time the waiter had seated them, Ukyo had convinced
himself that it was going to be a fun evening.  Even if it wasn't quite
the way he'd imagined it, he was on a date with Ranma.

     "You look lovely tonight, Nabiki."  To his surprise, Ukyo
discovered that he meant what he said.  The black dress Ranma was
wearing wasn't nearly as revealing as it might have been, but it
certainly flattered Ranma's figure.

     "Thanks.  You look good too."  Ranma shifted uncomfortably in her
seat.  The effort it took to keep smiling was starting to make her jaw
hurt.  It didn't help that Yoshio seemed to be a nice guy.  Someone like
Kuno she knew how to handle, but this was an entirely different game.

     "I hope the food here is good.  I heard they just reopened the this
restaurant after it was leveled in a freak explosion."

     "I'm sure it will be fine.  Maybe you could help me make a
selection though."  Ranma tuned out Yoshio's reply and occupied herself
in an inspection of the room.  Her eyes narrowed as she caught sight of
a familiar pair seated across the room.

     "Is it all right if I leave for a moment, Yoshio?  I have to go fix
my makeup."

     "Of course."  As far as Ukyo could tell, Ranma's makeup looked
fine, but he'd never worn any himself.

=================

"Kiyomi, I'm glad you called."  There was no one around to see, but
Nabiki smiled into the phone.  It seemed that his plan was back on
track.  "I was wondering if you'd like to try another date on Monday
night."

     Nabiki listened for a moment and then his smile broadened.  "You'd
love to?  That's great.  I'll see you then."

     By the time Nabiki hung up the phone, a satisfied smirk stretched
across his face.  When Kiyomi arrived for her date, it would be the real
Ryoga that was waiting.  The only downside was that no one appreciated
how helpful he was being.

=================

     "Akane, where did Ranma go?"  Ryoga glanced around curiously.  He'd
become distracted momentarily and lost sight of Ranma.

     "He was headed towards the washrooms a minute ago.  He's probably
still there."

     "Or maybe not.  Care to explain why the two of you are here?"
Ranma was amused by the startled expressions that flashed across the
pair's faces, but she didn't stop scowling.

     "We were worried about you."  Akane felt the gazes of the other
diners turn in their direction as she stood to answer Ranma's question.
"Besides, if I want to go on a date with my fiancé it isn't any of your
business, Nabiki."

     "What?  He's not your fiancé!"

     Akane leaned forward and hissed in Ranma's ear, "Will you be quiet,
people are staring."

     "Nabiki, what's going on?"   Ukyo stopped dead at the scene that
confronted him.  Akane and Ranma were standing face to face, while Ryoga
actively ignored the whole situation.

     "I'm just talking to my sister," Ranma grated out.

     "Come on.  Let's go to our table."  Reaching out, Ukyo grabbed hold
of Ranma's arm pulling her off balance.

     "Let go of her!"

     "Why don't you just sit back down?  This doesn't have anything to
do with you."

     "Ow!"  Ranma winced involuntarily as Yoshio's grip on her arm
tightened.

     That was more than enough for Ryoga.  Lashing out, he landed a
solid punch on the taller boy's face.

     "That didn't hurt at all."  Releasing Ranma's arm, Ukyo rubbed his
cheek in surprise.  Even Mousse's punches had had more effect.

     "What are you talking about?" Ryoga demanded in surprise.

     "I mean you hit like a girl."  Seizing a glass of water from a
nearby table, Ukyo cast it into Ryoga's face.  Fighting Ryoga without
any weapons wasn't his idea so he'd take all the advantages he could
get.

     Sputtering, Ryoga wiped her wet face with her sleeve.  The clatter
as male diners throughout the restaurant hastily set down their drinks
registered only faintly.  "Why don't I show how hard a girl can hit?"
Darting forward, Ryoga easily ducked under Yoshio's punch and launched
her own attack.

     Ukyo barely had time to notice that he'd missed before something
slammed into his midsection and flung him backwards though the air.  As
he slammed into the tables behind him, the scalding sensation of hot tea
barely registered on his stunned mind.

     "I don't believe it"  Ryoga's eyes widened in shock as Ukyo
staggered back to her feet.

     "Shampoo!"

     At that outburst, Ryoga and Akane turned just in time to see Mousse
latch onto Ranma
from behind.

End Chapter 14.

Chapter 15:

     "I ain't Shampoo, you moron!"  Bristling with indignation, Ranma
grabbed hold of Mousse's arm and tossed him over her shoulder.

     Somersaulting to land on his feet, Mousse turned to face Ryoga.

     Seeing the look on the half blind Chinese boy's face, Ryoga began
to backpedal in an effort to put space between them.

     "My belove-."  The remainder of Mousse's speech turned into a
panicked yelp as he dodged the pitcher of water Akane flung at him from
behind.

     "What did you do that for?" Mousse asked directing an angry glare
in Akane's direction.

     "Shampoo isn't here duck-boy," Ranma said, answering before Akane
could speak.  "Why don't you just leave."

     "You should be more polite.  If you keep acting that rude you'll
never get a boyfriend."

     "And who wants a boyfriend?"  Mousse took an involuntary step back
at the sight of the battle aura Ranma was manifesting.  It wasn't far
enough.

=================

     "We really need to talk."

     "I'd rather not," Ryoga mumbled as he quickened his pace slightly.

     "I'm serious.  You've been acting really weird all day," Ranma
complained as she hurried to keep up with Ryoga.  "I mean you've seen my
cursed form naked plenty of times and you never acted like you did this
morning."

     "That's completely different!" Ryoga stated defensively.  "You're
in Nabiki's body and she's really a girl."

     "Not so loud."  After looking around hurriedly to see if anyone was
paying attention, Ranma continued "I guess I can understand that.  Why
did you and Akane follow me to the restaurant though?"

     "Akane thought Ukyo might be stalking you.  I mean stalking
Nabiki...and she didn't really think Ukyo was doing the stalking."

     "I suppose that's why you picked a fight with hi- Ukyo as well."

     Ryoga nodded eagerly, glad that Ranma seemed to be finished asking
questions.  He wasn't eager to explore his exact motivations and it
seemed Ranma agreed.

===============

     "What on earth were you thinking!" Akane shouted.

     "It was Shampoo's idea."  Ukyo cringed slightly beneath the glare
Akane directed at her.  "I thought Ranma would turn me down and I wanted
her to stop bugging me."

     "I hope you're satisfied.  I don't know what you were trying to
accomplish, but all you did was make Ryoga jealous."

     "With Ranma stuck as a girl full time, we needed some way of
stopping him from spending to much time with Ryoga."

     "Why didn't you just give Ranma some instant nannichuan?  At least
nothing could have gone wrong with that plan."

     The pained expression on Ukyo's face spoke more eloquently than any
words could have.  "That sounds like a good idea.  I'll talk to Ranchan
after school tomorrow, all right?  Cologne should have told him that
he'll be stuck for a while by then."

     "I think you'd better.  He'll probably be pretty down after he
finds out."

=================

     Despite herself, Ranma couldn't keep a cheerful spring out of her
step as she ran.  It was a fine, warm day and instead of being stuck in
school she outside training.  True, a bit of jogging didn't really
compare to the type of training she did in her own body, but that wasn't
completely bad.  Even better, tonight she'd be back in her own body.

     "It's good to see that you're enjoying yourself, Son-in-Law."

     "What?"  Ranma stumbled to an abrupt halt and glanced around wildly
before spotting the amazon matriarch perched atop a nearby wall.  "Ol-
Cologne, what are you doing here?  The statue won't work again for hours
and Ryoga and Nabiki aren't even here."

     "I'm afraid there's been a slight change of plans.  I won't be able
to switch you back until you agree to marry Ukyo."

     "You've got to be joking.  This didn't work the first time you
tried it and it won't work now."

     "We'll see.  It doesn't look like you have much choice."  Cologne
paused for a moment and then continued, "Of course, if you managed to
take the statue from me, you wouldn't need my help."

     A wide smile split Ranma's face.  "You're on, Ghoul.  Ranma Saotome
had never backed down from a challenge and I'm not going to start now."

=================

     "So, what do you want to talk to me about Ucchan?" Ranma asked.
Ukyo's arrival was convenient for her because it let her explain
Cologne's ultimatum to everyone at once.

     Ukyo opened her mouth to speak and then stopped nonplused by
Ranma's casual attitude.  If it hadn't been for the quietly sobbing form
of Soun huddled in the corner she wouldn't have believed that anything
was wrong.  "I, ah, I just wanted to explain about last night to you."

     Ranma waved a hand dismissively.  "Forget about it.  I'm used to
that sort of thing.  Besides, I can use your help getting that stupid
statue away from Cologne."

     "Just what do you mean by that, Ranma?"  Nabiki angrily scowled at
the erstwhile inhabitant of his body.  He just knew that Ranma had done
something to foul things up.

     "It's horrible.  Now the schools will never be joined."  A renewed
fit of sobbing drowned out the rest of Soun's words.  Most of those in
the room ignored him, while Genma awkwardly tried to comfort him.

     Ranma glanced disgustedly at the weeping Tendo patriarch.  "The old
ghoul has some stupid idea about me promising to marry Ucchan before
she'll change us back.  It's no big deal.  She's just having fun jerking
me around.  I'll have things straightened out in a couple of days."

     "Ranma, you're an idiot."  Seeing Ranma's puzzled frown, Nabiki
continued, "I have to start attending school again tomorrow, remember?
Also, you might have more trouble dealing with Cologne than you think.
You're not exactly in top form right now."

     "Great.  What am I going to do now?"  Ranma wearily rubbed forehead
with on knuckle as she tried to cudgel her reluctant brain into
producing a plan.

     "This isn't nearly as serious as it seems boy."  Standing suddenly,
Genma Saotome assumed his most solemn expression.  "In order for Cologne
to have any chance at all of fulfilling her goals you have to be in
your own body."

     "You're right, Pop."  Ranma regarded her father with surprise and
faint uneasiness.  "I need to change back quickly though."

     "It's extraordinarily simple."  Genma smiled condescendingly.
"We'll just announce that you're marrying Ryoga tomorrow.  She'll have
no choice then."

     "Are you crazy?!  No way!"  Ranma felt a vague sense of
gratification that Ryoga had been one of those yelling along with him.
The fact that her mother hadn't been was worrying, but not surprising.
"I'll figure something out on my own."

     "Whatever.  I have to go get ready for my date."  Wearing a
disgusted frown on his face, Nabiki set off for his room.

     "I have to leave too, Ranchan.  I still have three packets of the
instant nannichuan that I used left, though.  Maybe they'll be useful."

=================

     "I don't see why I have to be a waitress.  I'm not stuck as a girl
or anything," Ryoga grumbled.

     "The uniform wouldn't fit you otherwise."  Cologne chuckled at the
disgusted expression on Ryoga's face.  "Now get to work.  Shampoo's
picking up some important spices in Osaka and Ranma can't do all the
work."

     "He's got Mousse helping him."  Ryoga fingered the material of her
uniform in revulsion.  Pink, frilly and tight were three adjectives that
she'd never thought would apply to anything she wore.

     "That doesn't mean much.  Now get moving, we have more customers."

     "I'm going, I'm going."  Ryoga raised her hands in surrender and
headed towards the Nekohanten's entrance.

     "And try to smile," Cologne yelled after her.

     Moments later, with a smile pasted on her face, Ryoga hurried back
towards the kitchen.  She didn't care if Ranma thought this was the best
way to get the statue, it wasn't worth it.  She wasn't in any hurry to
get back to her own body after all.

     Suddenly, an unwelcome presence behind her caused her to stiffen.
"Let go of my butt, Duck-boy."  Not waiting for an answer, Ryoga rammed
an elbow back into the blind Amazon's face.

    "S-sorry, Ranma.  I didn't see you there," Mousse stuttered as he
stumbled backward.

     "Yeah, right."  Maiming that idiot would almost make this situation
tolerable, Ryoga decided.  Too bad Cologne and Ranma wouldn't approve.

=================

     Nabiki glanced over at the petite girl beside him.  Kiyomi seemed
to be enjoying wandering through Nerima and watching the scenery, but it
didn't make for a very memorable date.  Besides which, Nabiki faced the
unenviable situation of being hopelessly lost and bored senseless at the
same time.  It was time for a little guidance.

     "Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself, Kiyomi?"  Seeing the
girl's puzzled expression, Nabiki elaborated, "Like, when did you start
practicing martial arts?"

     "I can't really remember a time when I wasn't.  Grandfather always
said that the Matsumara school of Yarijutsu has centuries of tradition
behind it.  So how about you?"

     "I just sort of picked it up while I was traveling.  Mostly I
trained in the mountains on my own."

     "Being lost all the time must be pretty depressing."

     "It's not my idea of a fun time," Nabiki replied.  "I've been
living at the Tendos' for a while and it's a big improvement."

     "How did that happen?  You have to admit that it's a bit unusual."

     "It was Ranma's mom's idea.  Other than that it's a long story.
Why don't we find a place to eat and I'll fill you in on some of the
details."

     "Sounds nice.  I've heard there's a Chinese place around here
that's supposed to be petty good.  Why don't we try there?"

     "Sounds good to me," Nabiki said happily.  The Nekohanten always
had good food and unless they'd walked farther than Nabiki had thought,
Kiyomi couldn't be talking about anywhere else.  Checking up on Ryoga
and Ranma would be a nice bonus.

     When he and Kiyomi stepped through the Nekohanten's entrance
moments later, he smiled at the accuracy of his prediction.  The sight
inside wasn't anything that he'd imagined, however.

    "Prepare to die, Mousse!"  With an incoherent cry of rage, Ryoga
rocketed towards her target, only to go flying into a wall, as Mousse
smoothly sidestepped and tapped her outstretched arm lightly.

     Nabiki blinked once.  The only thing he wanted to know was how
Cologne had managed to get Ryoga into anything so...pink.

=================

     Concentrating intensely, Ranma slowly crept up the stairs to the
Nekohanten's living quarters.  Cologne probably kept the statue in her
personal possession, but Ryoga's little tantrum was too good an
opportunity to ignore.

     At the top of the stairs, Ranma paused.  She wouldn't have long, so
she'd have to decide where to search first.  A slight scraping noise
from behind one door made her choice easy.  Trusting her instincts,
Ranma gently eased the door open.

     The cramped and austere quarters revealed no doubt belonged to
Mousse.  The sole object of interest to Ranma in the room was a small
wizened figure lying on the floor bound hand and foot and securely
gagged.

     Ranma smiled slightly.  "Hello, Mousse.  We need to talk."

=================

     Nabiki shifted his weight slightly as he tried to make sense of the
scene in front of him.  Ryoga's performance had improved dramatically as
her training reasserted itself, but she was still only holding her own
at best.  Mousse just wasn't this good.  Nabiki's musings were
interrupted as something struck him below his ribs.

     "What are you waiting for?" Kiyomi asked, rubbing her elbow.  "Go
help her."

     Nabiki flinched involuntarily.  Despite his appearance, he was well
aware that he possessed little of Ryoga's martial skills.  "I don't
think
that Ranko would appreciate any interference," he temporized.

     "Well if you won't I will," Kiyomi declared, beginning to screw two
short wooden poles, one ending in a wickedly hooked blade, together.

     "I really don't-."  A familiar voice cut short Nabiki's musings.

     "The game's up Happosai.  Hand over the statue.  I know you have
it."  Ranma spoke forcefully , but seemed to lack true confidence.

     Nabiki's mind raced.  Suddenly, Cologne's refusal to switch them
back and Mousse's increased skill made a lot of sense.  There were still
questions, but finding answers could wait.

     "You might have discovered the truth, Ranma, but it doesn't
matter.  None of you can stop me."  With a maniacal laugh, Happosai
bounded over Ryoga and then darted between Kiyomi and Nabiki, easily
evading Nabiki's clumsy attempt to grab hold of him.

     For a moment after Happosai's departure there was silence, until
finally, Kiyomi spoke, "Why did he call Nabiki 'Ranma', and what
happened
to your martial arts, Ryoga?"

     Ranma cleared her throat nervously.  "I think I can explain
things."

     "Really?  I have a few questions as well."  The teenagers started
in
surprise at Cologne's sudden appearance.  "Although, I think I can guess
some of the answers."  Cologne directed a glare at the small form
skulking behind Ranma.

     "It's sort of complicated.  The important point is that Nabiki,
Ryoga and I are in the wrong bodies because of a magic figurine that
Happosai stole from the Chinese amazons.  The Old Ghoul here wouldn't
change us back.  I thought she was just being a pain, but it turns out
she thought the statue got blown up."

     "I would have gotten everyone in their correct body, eventually.  I
merely needed time to gather the proper ingredients for the ritual,"
Cologne interjected.

     "Whatever.  Anyway, what really got destroyed was this cheesy fake
Mousse had cooked up.  I guess the moron really lucked out."

     "I made a perfect copy," Mousse protested, drawing himself up to
his full two foot height.

     "It's too bad he was stupid enough to trust Happosai with the real
thing.  The lech swiped Mousse's body and started running around causing
trouble."

     "I suppose that makes sense," Kiyomi said dubiously.  "So that
means that Ranko is in Ranma's body."

     "Um, not quite.  You see there are these cursed springs in
China..."

=================

     Ranma stalked through the halls of Furinkan High, a scowl adorning
her face.  Although several students greeted her, even those otherwise
inclined respected her privacy.  Past experience with Nabiki in a bad
mood was working in the favor of the body's latest inhabitant.

     Of course, there are always slow learners.  "Ah, Nabiki Tendo, I
rejoice that you have returned to the halls of Furinkan and once more
bask in my glorious presence."  Opening his arms as if to embrace Ranma,
Kuno took a step forward.

     "Stuff it, Kuno."  Ranma swung her book bag in a vicious arc,
twisting her body to increase the force of the blow.  As Kuno slumped
limply to the floor, Ranma's glowering expression was replaced by a
savage smile.  Maybe that wasn't how Nabiki would have handled things,
but it worked.

     Marching onward, Ranma quickly reached Nabiki's class room.
Stepping inside she scanned the room to locate Nabiki's seat.
Fortunately, it's location by a window made this easy.

     "Are you all right, Nabiki?"

     Ranma quickly evaluated the girl speaking to her.  She was tall,
thin and had her hair done up in twin pigtails.  Reaching a decision,
Ranma spoke, "I'm just not feeling like myself today, Noriko."  Inwardly
Ranma congratulated herself for guessing correctly.  Nabiki had helped
prepare her, but she still didn't know Nabiki's classmates.

     "I'll say.  Decking Kuno like that is more Akane's style."  Noriko
smiled warmly at Ranma.  "I've got your notes and homework for the past
week here."

     "Thanks.  This means a lot to me."

     "Don't worry, we're friends.  I know you'd do the same for me.
I'll see you when you're feeling better.  I've got to get back to my
seat now."

     Ranma watched Noriko leave and sighed heavily.  Discovering that
Nabiki was fairly popular, at least with the other girls had been
surprising.  Somehow, she'd never thought of Nabiki having friends.

     "Attention, class.  It's time to begin today's lesson."  The
whispers and fidgeting that had filled the room moments before quickly
stilled at the sound of the teacher's voice.

     Glumly Ranma reached for her pen.  At least she wasn't late like
Kuno.  He still hadn't come in.

=================

     "What are you so happy for?"  Ryoga looked over at the boy walking
beside him, genuinely curious.  Nabiki had been morose all day at
school.  Then halfway back to the Tendos' house he'd suddenly started
smiling.

     "I just figured out how to deal with Happosai."

     "You have?  I've got to see this," Ryoga said skeptically.

     "You don't seem too excited," Nabiki said, easing the door to his
home open.

     "I know you and Ranma aren't happy with the way things are, but it
doesn't matter to me personally.  At least not anymore than it does to
Ukyo or Akane."

     "I guess I should have expected that.  Do you hear some one
humming?"

     Ryoga's eyes narrowed.  "Yeah.  It sounds like it's coming from
Happosai's room."

     "Perfect.  Watch this."  Flashing Ryoga a fang toothed grin, Nabiki
casually strolled up to Happosai's door.  However, as he opened it his
demeanor changed drastically, his shoulders slumped his brow furrowed
and his smile vanished.

     "Nabiki?  What do you want?"

     "How could you be so cruel?  Trapping me in this horrible male
body."

     Ryoga watched in horrified fascination as a tear traced a path down
Nabiki's cheek.

     "Don't go blaming me.  I didn't have anything to do with it."

     "You're the one who has the statue now and you won't let me change
back."  Nabiki's voice quavered slightly and he seemed to be fighting to
hold back a sob.

     "R-Ranma has to learn proper respect for his master.  If there was
anything I could do to help..."

     "Really?" Nabiki breathed, his face assuming an expression of
rapturous joy.  "If you could help me I'd be so grateful."

     Happosai stood quivering in indecision, until at last resolve
entered his eyes.  "Stay right here.  I've got to go get something!" he
shouted, rushing out the door past Ryoga.

     "You see?  There's nothing to it.  You just need the right
approach."

=================

     The group waiting for Happosai was quiet and subdued.  Ranma, Ryoga
and Nabiki were sitting together as a group, with Ukyo slightly off to
one side.

     "This is stupid.  If we want to get the statue, we're going to have
to beat it out of him."

     "Like that'd work, Ranma.  Like it or not you and I wouldn't be
much use in a fight and Ryoga and Ukyo can't beat him by themselves.  If
Happosai doesn't come through, we'll just have to wait for Cologne."

     "I'm hurt that you don't trust me, Nabiki.  I'd never let down a
pretty girl like you." As he spoke, Happosai easily balanced a bucket of
water on his index finger.  "I've got your cure right here," he says,
tossing the bucket towards Nabiki.

     Water avoidance reflexes acquired from spending over a week in
Ryoga's cursed body kicked in and Nabiki rolls away from the water even
as he realized what it must be.

     "What did you do that for?" Happosai demanded.  "That was all the
Nyannichuan that I had."

     "You should've told me what it was.  Besides, I want my own body
back," Nabiki protested, rising to his feet.

     "Me too.  Come on, Duck-boy, lets have it."  As Ranma spoke, the
others instinctively spread out to surround Happosai.

     "Ranma, you should be more respectful of your elders.  If you and
Ryoga beg for my forgiveness, I just might help you out."

      "Enough talk.  It's time to fight."  Without waiting for a
response, Ryoga aimed a hard right at Happosai's head, which the newly
young lecher easily dodged.  However, he couldn't avoid the spin-kick
that Ryoga followed up with and was sent flying out of the house towards
the koi pond.

     Performing a handspring off one of the rocks surrounding the pond,
Happosai vaulted over it and landed on the other side.  "It looks like
I'm going to have to teach you a lesson, Boy."

     "Don't count on it."

     Ranma watched in stunned disbelief as Happosai and Ryoga squared of
on opposite sides of the koi pond.  "We can win this.  Since Happosai's
in Mousse's body, he's nowhere near as fast as usual."

     "I'm on it, Ranchan."  Unslinging her battle spatula, Ukyo charged
through the whole left by Happosai's exit.

     "The two of you don't stand a chance."

     As Happosai leaped into the air, Ryoga and Ukyo dived apart to
avoid the hail of Happodaikarin he hurled at them.

     "Where is he?" Ukyo wheezed, trying to peer through the cloud of
smoke and debris that had enveloped the area.

     "Right here, Cutie."  Before Ukyo could turn, Happosai lightly
tapped a point at the base of her skull, causing her to collapse to the
ground unconscious.  "Don't think I'm going to let you off that easily,
Ryoga."

     "Shut up and fight," Ryoga snarled in reply.

     The two combatants collided in a flurry of blows almost too fast
for the eye to follow, but it soon became apparent that only Happosai's
need to avoid the Koi pond kept the fight relatively close.

     "I'm going to get help."

     Startled, Ranma looked over at Nabiki, only to see him awkwardly
leap over the fence surrounding the Tendos' property.  Ranma started
after him, but then realized that she'd never be able to keep up with
Ryoga's body.

     "Time to finish this."

     Startled, Ranma looked back to the fight, only to see a battered
looking Ryoga down on one knee and Happosai preparing the finishing
blow.

     "Look over here, ya troll!"   As Happosai's head swung around
towards her, Ranma's fingers fumbled with the buttons to her blouse,
eventually tearing it open.

     "Sweeto!"

     As Happosai flashed towards her, Ranma reflexively closed her eyes
tightly.

     "Keep your hands off of her!"

     Opening her eyes, Ranma saw Happosai's face planted firmly in the
dirt, mere inches from her feet, and Ryoga standing over him breathing
heavily.

     "Don't tell me you're sweet on Ranma," Happosai sputtered, climbing
to his feet and spitting out dirt, as Ranma backed away.

     "That doesn't matter.  I've figured out your weak spot now," Ryoga
proclaimed.  "Shi Shi Hokodan!"

     Happosai merely smirked and cupped his hands together.  A red flare
of light erupted from between them, meeting Ryoga's attack and canceling
it in a roar of thunder.  "You should know better than that.  I..."  The
white robed martial artist's words trailed off as he stumbled and nearly
fell to his knees.

     "What's the matter, Gramps, tired?  Teikiatsu Kyaku!"  With a
fierce grin, Ryoga spun into the air and hammered his foe's face and
torso with dozens of kicks.  By the time Ryoga landed from his attack,
Happosai had fallen to the ground, after bouncing off the outer wall and
leaving a sizable crack in it.

     Stalking over to his fallen opponent, Ryoga lifted him from the
ground by the front of his robes.  "What do you have to say for your
self now?"

     "Gotcha!"  Happosai's eyes sprang open, and before Ryoga could
react he drove three fingers into the front of his chest.  "Now where
was ?" Happosai asked, stepping free of Ryoga's crumpling form.

     "Right here.  Moko Takabisha!"  A bright yellow sphere crashed into
Happosai, sending him flying back into the fence.  Ranma stood, white
faced and trembling from the strain, wondering if she'd won, until
Happosai slowly levered himself back to his feet.

     "That didn't hurt," he croaked.

     "Then I hope this does!"  With a loud clang, Ukyo's spatula
propelled Happosai back to the ground and into unconsciousness.  "Bet
you forgot about me, Ranchan."

=================

     "All right, Happosai.  You'd better give up or..."  Nabiki's voice
trailed off in amazement at the sight before her.  A loudly protesting
duck sat on the ground, wrapped securely in a ball of duct tape, while
Ranma, Ryoga and Ukyo pulled a growing pile of items out of an empty set
of white robes.

     "Stupid Mercenary boy say Ranma need help," Shampoo complained,
glaring at the duck.

     Nabiki looked helplessly over at the other members of his impromptu
army.  After finding Kiyomi waiting across the street from the dojo and
then running into Genma, Akane and Shampoo returning from the
Nekohanten, he'd started to feel rather pleased with himself.  "Ryoga
beat him?"

     "We all did," Ranma answered.  "That wasn't a bad plan you came up
with though, Ryoga."

     "Hey, I passed out the first time I used a ki attack in Ukyo's
body.  It's not surprising Happosai had troubles too.  You being able to
use the Moko Takabisha was a lot more impressive."

     "If you two are finished congratulating each other, I've found the
statue.  Besides, I was the one to finish him off," Ukyo added proudly.

     "Give statue to Shampoo.  Great-grandmother teach how to use."

     Moments later, Nabiki stood in the middle of the yard facing
Shampoo, with Ryoga and Ranma flanking him on either side.

     "Important thing is concentration.  And magic word.  Magic word
very important."  Shampoo composed herself and then slowly raised the
statue to shoulder height.  "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

     As everyone boggled at the amazon, a familiar purple and pink smoke
poured out of the statue and enveloped the trio.

=================

     "Man, it's good to be back in my own body."

     "For once we agree, Ranma.  There is one thing , though.  Searching
my desk wasn't very nice.  If you wanted some pictures of Ukyo I would
have been happy to give them to you."

     "What're you talking about?"

     Nabiki smiled cruelly.  "I think you're about to find out."

     "Ranma!  You said you burned them!"

     Ranma whirled, took one look at Akane marching towards him
brandishing a bokken in one hand and a thin stack of photos in the other
and started running.

     "They should really thank me."  Nabiki chuckled as she leaned
against the front gate and watched the chase unfold.  It was good to see
things returning to normal.

     "Nabiki, we need to talk."

     "K-Kiyomi.  I hope you're not too mad.  I didn't mean to hurt
anyone."

     "Don't worry, I'm not mad.  In fact, I enjoyed our dates.  Maybe we
can go out again sometime."

     "Bu-bu-bu-"

     "Bye.  I'll be seeing you."  Humming happily (and off key), Kiyomi
strolled off.

     "At least things can't get any worse."   Realizing what she'd said
Nabiki froze, expecting a bolt from the heavens to strike her down.
After a moment, when nothing happened she began to relax.

     "Nabiki Tendo?"

     "For the moment.  Who wants to know?"  With a sinking heart Nabiki
regarded the middle-aged man holding a huge bundle of flowers.

     "You have a delivery from a Tatewaki Kuno.  Sign here."

     "RANMA!"

=================

     Meanwhile on the outskirts of Tokyo, a pretty girl happily
scratched under her elephantine pet's chin.  "I wonder if I'll ever find
a man strong enough to defeat you, Katsunishiki.  This is a lot harder
than I thought it would be."

     With a brave smile, Akari Unryu, climbed up on her pet's back.
"I'm sure it won't take much longer."

End Chapter 15.

Kent Hyam